Ancient Greece
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“Of course they failed in the end. Why do you think they gave up the Olympics for Gay Sex?”
~ Oscar Wilde on Ancient Greece
Ancient Greece was home to a number of famous philosophers such as Idiocrates (Roman:Idiosyncracies) as well as the home of the first Kebab House.
Ancient Greece lies just to the east of Greece, and encompases the former nation-state of Geece. They had a fondness for making depictions of naked men, making them the gayest civilizations ever.
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[edit] Geography
Basically the same as Greece, but with less fat blokes behind bars chatting up your girlfriend. There are mountains, the most famous being Mount Olympus, the home of the Gods. There are also fields, and small pebbles. Sometimes it rains - very rarely though, they grow olives there, you know?
[edit] History
Ancient Greece has absolutely tons of history - if you are American you could probably buy some off the Greeks. They have spare history. I mean, they basically invented history didn't they? Anyway, Greece is steeped in history, just ask any of the Gods. To do this, visit Ancient Greece and sacrifice a goat at any of the numerous rundown temples and sure enough a God should appear. Personally I'd try to get Aphrodite, she's a stunner innit. By the way, for any Ancient Greeks or Arabs out there, I said "sacrifice" a goat, not abuse it.
[edit] Modern Ancient Greece
Modern Ancient Greece is much like Ancient Ancient Greece, but with microwaves. There is also a reincarnation of Socrates, the boyfriend of Plato.
[edit] Ancient Greek Politics
The current president is Odyseus. The Prime Minister is Agamemnon, and there are rumours of a political split between the two. At the moment the Members of Parliament are split on the war on terror - roughly half are in favour of attacking the Persians in Iraq, whilst the other half believes that abolition of nude Spartans should be the prominent concern of the Ancient Greek State.
[edit] Greek Sport
As the founding nation of the Olympics, Ancient Greece has produced some fine sportsmen. Most notably, Socrates, the 100 metres world record holder when in pursuit of an axiom. Another great athlete is Descartes - after gaining his Greek nationality, his peformances have been amazing in the Javelin of Metaphysics.
Outside of athletics, Ancient Greece has produced some truly memorable football players such as Socrates. After leaving Ancient Greece and moving to the New World country of Brazil, Socrates went on the win the World cup twice in the seventies. He then died by drinking hemlock. Bit of a downer, that was.
Possibly the most famous and controversial sport in ancient times was Greek wrestling. With slow beginnings in Mycenae, the sport gained velocity in Greece and eventually came to a pleasurable, yet ultimately unsatisfying climax in Rome. The best wrestlers in ancient history were Butt Futticus, a Roman king, and Ass Rapius, a Gaul-turned-soulless Roman wanker. Greek Wrestling was very dangerous, and the loser would often be sexually exploited. So would the winner, for that matter. In fact, a common phrase used in ancient times was: when Greeks wrestle, nobody wins.
[edit] Greek music
Greek music is perhaps best known for its dishonest lyres, usually accompanied by small drums and flutes to make the gayest music on earth. The tunes often express a giddy fondness for male gayness, but sometimes female-on-female action is encouraged through lyrical verse. Actually, Aristotle was the original writer of "It's Raining Men." Posiden loves that song.
[edit] Famous Ancient Greeks
Freaks and Greeks
| Greek: | Greek gods - Greek mythology - Greek language - Greek Empire - Greek War of Independence (video game) - Byzantine Empire (mostly Greek) |
| Greeks: | Socrates - Plato - Aristotle - Alexander the Great - Idiocrates - Mediocrates - Hypocrites - Homer - Euripides - Euclid - Archimedes - Pythagoras - Heraclitus - Sophocles - Zorba The Greek - Pericles - UnNews:Greek Prime Minister target by perv |
| Gods & Titans: | Zeus - Poseidon - Aphrodite - Chaos - Chronos - Hermaphrodite - Athena - Hades - Prometheus |
| Greece: | Ancient Greece - Athens - Sparta - Rhodes - Thermopylae - Delphi - Geece |
| Greecey Food: | Olives - Olive Oil - Wheat - Darth Feta - Ouzo |
| Greek Ingenuity: | Comedy - Tragedy - Philosophy - Sodomy - Olympic Games |
| Greek Speak: | The Aeneid - The Iliad - The Odyssey - The Destiniad - Oedipus the King |
The Duke of Edinburgh was a weirdo also known as Oldfatygayasseus
