Old

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This 27 years old miner has spent a hard working day in an old mine and is now covered with old dust.

Here you can see the proper method of disposing of old people and their cars that smell like old people at the same time.

“What is this thing? I have never heard of it. I deny it exists. Besides I'm definitely not old”

~ Oscar Wilde on old

“You are sooty old”

~ Britney Spears on Oscar Wilde

“You are sooty bald”

~ Oscar Wilde on Britney Spears

“Ha ha ha ha, I will never be old”

~ New on old

“Hope I die 'fore I get old”

~ Pete Townshend, living old person on old people

Old is a mineral found around the globe and all planets. There are old mines everywhere since old used to be very popular material. It's nowadays replaced by new but some people still prefer old. There is more old than new in the world and most people prefer new, so old is usually cheaper than new. The quality of old is measured by how much age it contains (named after famous old digger Alfred Age). Pure old is however poisonous.

The true definition of old - is a gentle fellow by the name of Spot Rock. He lives on the very tip of Bar-Bar land and knows in the deepest darkest core of his soul that he is truly OLD!! Not that he will every admit.

[edit] How to get old

Olden bicycle. Modern bicycles are made of new.

Most old mines in the world are closed due to decreased demand of old. There are still some large mines left in China, Mars and Eastern Europe. Old is still widely available all over world but it's sometimes hard to find. Keep on looking for special small stores like Harrods in London. Since most people prefer new there is usually a better selection of new available. One way to get old is to make it from new.

There has been a recent resurgence of interest in old, thanks in part to shows such as "Antiques Roadshow" and "Jeopardy", both of which feature openly old-full characters.

Now that it has been such a long time TV shows like Soap and Friends were first made, they too have given old a new lease of life among new people.

[edit] What to do with old

These people prefer old."We won't touch anything new!"

If you are a model American, you will promptly throw away the old in favor of something new

The following things increase in value with age: (<w/+OLD)

• Wine
• Cheese
• Computers
• Sean Connery
• Virgins
• Dyslexia
• Lemon Pie With Milk

The following things decrease in value with age: (<w/-OLD)

• History
• Domestic Cars
• Kids
• Money
• Male virgins
• Organs (particularly sexual and/or Wurlitzer)
• Britney Spears
• Alcohol, sadly - I mean really? Have you ever seen your grandmother be a boozaholic at Thanksgiving? (I have, and MAN SHE AIN'T RIGHT!!!)

You is be are old! not be me old!

[edit] Famous old

• Old Testament
• Old McDonald
  

  

  Old McDonald taking a piss
• Old smobile
• Old spice
• Old party
• Old Faithful
• Old School
• Old Dominion University
• Old Pie-eating Frank Lamb-pie who holds the record for scoring...um, no, for eating 127 percocet pies in only six minutes together with Adrian Mutu