Anal sex

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Two gentlemen passing the time in the homo fashion commonly found in Hellenic cultures.

“Not my cup of tea, but then again, I don't drink tea...*wink*”

~ Oscar Wilde on Anal Sex

“...Also commonly known as BUTT FUCK!!!”

~ Tourette's Guy on Anal Sex

Anal sex is the best form of birth control, while you can still get busy without getting preged. So go party.

[edit] Anal Sex in culture

Anal sex has played a key role in many movies and films. In the uncut version of 'Ben Hur', audiences learned for the first time that the real reason for all that biz between Charlton Heston and the Roman chappie was that the latter had a hard on for him. Which is somewhat of a shame as the plot makes little sense otherwise. Also, two words: BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN

It is little known that anal sex was discovered by a young married couple in Kansas who not having received any instruction in sex before marriage had been confused as to the holes. When this result was published in the American Journal of Medicine the global homosexual conspiracy, amazed they had not thought of it, conducted a major conspiracy to claim that it had been used by man and man sex for centuries, even altering greek vases that showed men with sacks on their backs into men fucking boys.

Before this time gay activity had only concerned shopping for antiques.

[edit] Anal Sex in History

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Anal sex.

Greeks often had anal sex but no sense of sexual orientation. The lower classes of the Greek culture normally took it in the ass from the high ranking warrior classes and nobles (What we normally would call "queers"). They were deemed "sperm dumpsters" a name later adopted by the Jonas Brothers before making it big.

Benjamin Franklin was a huge advocate of anal sex as well... From his auto-biography:

"I love to butt fuck fat women, I can pretend they are men and think about how great I am for disowning my son. Nothing makes me happier than the smell of my brown member... If you are still reading my auto-biography after all of this and you have a shred of respect for me then you are truly a retard. Now I will push a drunk person off a boat."

Anne Bradstreet, one of the first great female American poets, also made allusions to anal sex in some of her classic poems. Her ability to tie anal sex in with the various conditions of the 18th century shows the woman's great potential in literature. This excerpt is from her one of her last writings, "The Current Plight of Africans and Women in America"

[edit] Having Anal Sex?

While most people find anal sex pleasurable (Michael Jackson, All Professional Wrestlers,Elton John,Asif Ali Zardari , Freddie Mercury, Boy George, Jim Davidson and Richard Simmons for example), some do not (about .3145% of the human population). While most people who do not enjoy it try to avoid it, there are always those situations where anal sex is forced upon you, "shoved up your ass" or if you will, also known as rape. If you are caught in one of these often awkward and unpleasant situations there are some things you can do to take away the effects. You can try to enjoy it, scream like you are Whitney Houston and hope somebody hears you, that is if you don't have your rape whistle, or grin and bear it until it's over. The people who often enjoy anal sex are disgruntled men in their late 50's suffering from the after effects of sniffing glue, clowns, horny chihuahuas and homophobes.

[edit] Songs that refer to Anal Sex.

• Rolling Stones - Let it Bleed and Brown Sugar
• Metallica - Ride the Lightning
• Boy George - Do You Really Want to Hurt Me
• George Michael - Any song in his discography
• Queen - Fat Bottomed Girls
• Filter - Hey Man, Nice Shot
• Color Me Badd - I Wanna Sex You Up
• My Chemical Romance - Teenagers
• The Jonas Brothers - Fuck Me in The Ass
• S.O.A.D.D. (System of Aggressive Dumbass Deterioration) - Prison Song Rape
• Devo - Smart Patrol / Mr. DNA
• Bette Midler - The Rose
• Guns N` Roses - Welcome to the Jungle

[edit] Conception, Possible?

Most scientists, state that conception through butt-fucking is impossible, however the existence of Certain people has put this into doubt.

[edit] See also

• Sexuality