An Open letter to Santa
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Ok, so here's the thing: I need a girlfriend. I dunno how to say this in Icelandic (I could use freetranslation.com, aber Es saugt), but I assume you speak English (and read it). Otherwise just post this in some free translation thingy on the net. And if you're free, image search "Queen Elizabeth"... wowie!... (See? I'm so desperate...). Maybe I should also write an email to you Santa
Here it's again: I need a girlfriend.
A girl who's my friend and who'd like me to bang her. No, wait, I move to strike that from the testimony... er... letter. I mean, I need a girlfriend. Hope you know what that means. That beard would've attracted quite some girls ;-).
Well, can anyone give such a simple request for Xmas? NOOO! People will be asking for world peace, or enlarged penises, or such. I bet you'll be proud of me for this.
Have a nice Christmas. I know you can go faster than light.  And carry 321,300 tons. Go, Santa!
P.S. Hmm... I don't have a big enough sock for a girlfriend.  Place her beside me on the bed, will ya? On second thought on top of me...
- ↑ I need to write an apology letter to Einstein now, darn.
- ↑ which means "but it sucks" in German. Ah, why do I need to explain jokes...
- ↑ Oops, that's another story...
- ↑ Must add that in the apology letter to Ein.
- ↑ And I don't want Thumbelina.