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Today's Featured Article - Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

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Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith is a 2005 American epic space opera film directed by George Lucas. It is the sixth film released in the Star Wars saga, the third of the prequels, the third in terms of internal chronology, and the second in terms of everyone finally admitting that the series had lost it.

Set in 19 BBY, three years after the woodenly-acted onset of the Clone Wars, the film follows the war's final week. The Jedi Knights are spread thin across the galaxy leading a massive disposable Clone Army in the war against the Separatists. Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi is dispatched to eliminate the asthmatic General Grievous and end the war. With no master around to coddle him, Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker grows close to Supreme Chancellor Palpatine, who is, unbeknownst to the public,

For Revenge of the Sith, Lucas wanted to finish the Star Wars saga with a bang, and give viewers something with the coolest Jedi action, the biggest explosions, and the slickest CGI this side of Michael Bay. Oh, and he also wanted it to tie-in with the original trilogy. Unfortunately, he forgot to re-watch the films he himself created, resulting in plotholes such as Princess Leia remembering her mother despite her dying 20 seconds after she was born, but none of the other familiar faces, like how George forgot whether Obi-Wan said the Jedi had been defenders of the Republic for a thousand years or a thousand generations. Everyone always assumed Leia was the smart one of the bunch, but who knew she had a photographic memory and remembered her own birth?

Revenge of the Sith received mediocre reviews from critics, but which compared to the previous two films seemed like glowing praise. It broke several box office records during its opening week and went on to earn over $1138 million worldwide. It is the fourth highest-grossing film in the Star Wars franchise, unadjusted for inflation (of George Lucas's ego).(more...)

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Did you know...

*...that the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop?
  • ...that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes?
  • ...that the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop?
  • ...that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes?
  • ...that the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop?

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On this day...

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Behold his Divine Noodliness!

September 26: Happy Pastafarian New Year!

  • 13,775,000,001 BC - The Flying Spaghetti Monster creates the Universe, then quickly retreats back into his dishy domain until the time is right.
  • 75 BC - Julius Caesar finally catches up with the prophet Mosey along the shores of the Mediterranean and crucifies him, along with his closest friends; they then dismantle his ship, the Lasagne, and sell it for scrap, ushering in the start of the Pastafarian calendar.
  • 1403 - Alfredo de Spag-Hetti, a merchant from Parma, begins his attempt of translating copies of the sacred texts of Pastafarianism, first given to him by an Arab trader, on this day.
  • 1708 - Blackbeard is finally killed by the South Carolina militia.
  • 1796 - Robert Burns convenes his first (and only) Burns supper; he dies in the middle of it and is devoured as part of the pasta course.
  • 1837 - Humpty Dumpty converts to Pastafarianism, is tossed off a wall for it.
  • 1922 - The Flying Spaghetti Monster curses President Warren G. Harding for being so corrupt; he falls ill and dies over the next year.
  • 1930 - Wall Street crashes due to pasta stocks going through the roof.
  • 1957 - British television viewers are informed of the dire plight of the Swiss spaghetti crop on the BBC's Panorama.
  • 1971 - Flying Spaghetti Monster moves into the Vatican, the rivers run red with pasta sauce.
  • 2005 - Bobby Henderson announces his rediscovery of the Flying Spaghetti Monster on this day.

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Tsar Wars Episode IV, No Hope

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Wotm

WANTED
Name: Bradaphraser (sometimes uses aliases "Bradley" or "Bradafag")
Crimes: hatred of the white peoples of the world, denial of free speech to said peoples, rogue punchlines, and your mother is a whore
Reward for information regarding the accused: Cherry Cake
Contact: prussianblue@yahoo.com


Noobaward

To whom it may concern: I am writing to you today regarding Mr. Nydas, who I understand is applying for a position at your institution. Mr. Nydas is one of the most inspiring students I have ever had the p LOLOLOLOL PENNIS THE MENACE IS MY FAVORITE ACTION FIGURE SHITTY SHITTY BANG BANG LOL LOL WHOAAAAA THEEEEESE IZ KOOL, Y'ALLS leasure to instruct; though deaf, blind, mute and crippled from birth, he has managed to overcome his circumstances and express himself eloquently through his writing. His essays and stories are for him an adventure, an escape from the terribly unfortunate and hopeless reality of his life. Though he knows he is unlikely to survive the next four years, he remains irrepressibly cheerful and determined to become a famous author of children's books. You and I know this will never happen, but when he turns to you with his empty eyes, his face tragically wasted by leprosy, one cannot but root for him in his battle with the cruel, cruel world.


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