Amy Adams

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Amy Adams by John Shearer
For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Amy Adams.

Amy Adams, born Amy Calico Adams on August 20, 1974, is an American actress and one of the most adorable people ever to live. After the release of Enchanted (2007), it officially became impossible for grown men to think about anything other than Amy Adams. Though her masterful performance in Junebug (2005) was noticed by many critics, and earned her an Academy Award nomination, it wasn't until Enchanted that the general public recognized how incredibly adorable Ms. Adams is.

Men who live with or are dating a regular woman were hardest hit by the realization of just how adorable Ms. Adams is. Ms. Adams can only be expected to marry one or two men in her lifetime, and knowing you are not going to be one of them can make life seem empty and pointless. While regular women have some good points, they simply cannot match the level of adorableness of Ms. Amy Adams.

"Why go on?" many men have asked themselves. It's a good question. Some therapists have noted that there is always a chance that a man might meet someone nearly as adorable as Amy Adams. It could happen. It's worth hoping for.

edit Current Projects

Ms. Adams recently finished filming Julie & Julia in Astoria, NY. Much of the neighborhood where the movie was filmed still smells like her. The smell is sort of a cross between peaches and heaven.

edit Pertinent Scientific Findings

A 2008 study conducted at the University of Michigan determined that Amy Adams would taste delicious. The study found that the most delicious spot on Amy Adams would most probably be her neck. (Edward Cullen tried, stating that it tasted like puppies smothered in sugar, drenched in chocolate syrup, with a million, bajillion rainbow-colored sprinkles all over it.)

edit Personal Life

On Thursday, July 24, 2008, Amy Adams and actor Darren Le Gallo became engaged. There is now no longer any reason to live.

edit Strategies for Coping in the Post-engagement Landscape

Experts say refocusing one's attention on actresses who are almost as adorable as Amy Adams may help men cope during Adams' engagement and probable marriage. Some men have had success reassigning their feelings to Zooey Deschanel (who was adorable in "Elf"). Others have found that, with effort (and squinting), they can trick themselves into feeling something for Isla Fisher ("Wedding Crashers"), who bears a satisfactory resemblance to Adams.

edit Level of Adorableness, by film

  • Drop Dead Gorgeous (1999): adorable
  • Catch Me If You Can (2002): adorable
  • Junebug (2005): adorable
  • Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006): adorable
  • Enchanted (2007): unbearably adorable
  • Charlie Wilson's War (2007): adorable enough
  • Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day (2008): adorable
  • Julie & Julia (2009): adorable
  • The Fighter (2010): to be determined (probably adorable)
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