Amnesia

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

Oh wait, I forgot.

“Huh???”
~ Captain Oblivious on amnesia
“I had a quote for that...”
~ Oscar Wilde on, uh... something...
“I was going to mow the lawn but I forgot we had a lawn.”
“I am going to have so much amnesia when I get older”
~ Bender on Amnesia
“I do not recall having amnesia.”
~ Former Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez on Amnesia

“I...... hmm... uh. Oh, this button says save page”

Amnesia is... it's something that happens when...

I mean, you get it when...something happens to your... what's that thing sitting on your neck called, again?

I remember something about a coconut...

I have amnesia. Sometimes it can be a right laugh! I'll always remember the time when...damn I've forgotten.

edit Diagnosing Amnesia

Amnesia can be diagnosed by asking a person certain questions. I don't exactly remember what questions or where you might ask them. My head hurts. Something about the president, maybe? Anyway, if they don't know what the answer is... I forget what that means. What are we discussing again? Something about cheese... It doesn't matter anyway, amnesia is a god-send for soap opera writers.

edit Forgetting Amnesia

But you already have... or have I? Ha! Good question. Shame I forgot the answer.

edit Curing Amnesia

The only known cure for amnesia is... OH GOD my head feels like its splitting in two. Christ where's the advil?

I think there's something about... hitting someone on the head with a mallet? You bast- it was you wasn't it? Or making them listen to Britney Spears for hours on end. This will cure the amnesia but may cause brain cancer. The lesson is that it's better to forget everything than get brain cancer. No, hang on. I mean it's better to get brain cancer than listen to Britney Spears. other cures include

  • umm
  • wait what was i talking about?
  • where am i?
  • who are you ?
  • why do you have a mallet?
  • *clonk*

edit Conduciveness to blatant punnery

A common symptom experienced by those discussing Amnesia is the sudden urge to make puns. This blatant punnery is usually in the form of pretending to forget about the topic mid sentence (just like Amnesia!). Whilst some pundits claim this to be blatant punnery some believe that it doesn't constitute punnery at all and that most people don't even understand or have forgotten what a pun actually is.


See: This entire page.

edit Granma´s case

Grandmothers are the ones with the most serious case of...cancer?... ...oh yeah, amnesia!

We don´t know for sure (I forgot actually) but the most important proof found about...my granma! I love my granma. She bakes us cookies every Sunday. Well anyway...it was bananas?...no...I think...oh well, how about this:


Grandma: "Sweety, who was that German guy who ruined my life again...Mussolini?...Stalin?"

Grandson: "No, he was Alzheimer, grandma, Alzheimer."

edit South Pacific Islands

Wait, Amnesia is also a group of small islands in the South Pacific, right?

edit Who is at risk for Amnesia?

Generally, characters on...what are they called... detergent musicals? No. I don't think that's right. Bloody hell these headache tablets aren't doing anything.

Amnesia for Dummies

[Insert useless superfluous caption that nobody will remember by tomorrow anyway]

edit Are you an amnesiac?

I did know this one... Magnus Magnusson?

Wait, wait, does this have something to do with...damnit damnit damnit! what was it? Something about...oh, heavy marble lamp dropping on a small child's head...was he my cousin? No..no, he was...my sister? No..Magnus Magnusson? Yeah, that's it.

edit Amnesia International

Amnesia International is a shadowy charity organization that helps people with amnesia worldwide. Despite being a large organization, the world at large remains oblivious to their existence. Coincidentally so does the organization itself. I was a member myself but I kept forgetting to go. Therefore, there isn't really that much more to say about them, except that...uh, well...

edit Is amnesia contagious?

Obviously this can be solved by simple math. I mean that's obvious. But I can't remember so I'll need to check my computer... Where's the computer? Oh, here it is! What's my password? Let's try 'bobrocks'. Hoopla! I'm in! What was I doing, again...?

edit IS AMNESIA CONTAGIOUS???

Yes, asamatterafact. If you confuse others, then it is. You didn't have to yell...Mashed potatoes?? Jesus wept, it's always the fucking mashed potatoes with you...you, erm...what was your name, again? Ow ow ow. Jesus god my head feels like a heavy lamp or something fell on it.

edit Is amnesia contagious? wait... did i ask this already... why me... wait, why me what...

Whyamitypingthisidontevenrememberwhatiwasgoingtotype... i have ADH... hey look! a birdie!

edit See also

Pencil2
Look up Amnesia in Undictionary, the twisted dictionary
Personal tools
projects