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For those without a longterm memory, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Amnesia.

This page sucks because it is still under construction.
The author will never finish it because they have amnesia and have forgotten about it. Now what was I doing?

Amnesia Rice... something, or other.

“Huh???”

~ Captain Oblivious on amnesia

"I had a quote for that..."

~ Oscar Wilde on ...something...

“I was going to mow the lawn but I forgot we had a lawn.''”

~ You on Charlie Chaplin

“I am going to have so much amnesia when I get older”

~ Bender on Amnesia

“I do not recall having amnesia.”

~ Former Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez on Amnesia

“Britney Spears”

~ album

" Was that an song I wrote I forgot "

Amnesia is... it's something that happens when...

I mean, you get it when...something happens to your... what's that thing sitting on your neck called, again?

I remember something about a coconut...

I have amnesia. Sometimes it can be a right laugh! I'll always remember the time when...damn I've forgotten.

[edit] Diagnosing Amnesia

Amnesia can be diagnosed by asking a person certain questions. I don't exactly remember what questions or where you might ask them. My head hurts. Something about the president, maybe? Anyway, if they don't know what the answer is... I forget what that means. What are we discussing again? Something about cheese... It doesn't matter anyway, amnesia is a god-send for soap opera writers.

[edit] Forgetting Amnesia

But you already have... or have I? Ha! Good question. Shame I forgot the answer.

[edit] Curing Amnesia

The only known cure for amnesia is... OH GOD my head feels like its splitting in two. Christ where's the advil?

I think there's something about... hitting someone on the head with a mallet? You bast- it was you wasn't it? Or making them listen to Britney Spears for hours on end. This will cure the amnesia but may cause brain cancer. The lesson is that it's better to forget everything than get brain cancer. No, hang on. I mean it's better to get brain cancer than listen to Britney Spears.

[edit] Granma´s case

Grandmothers are the ones with the most serious case of...cancer?... ...oh yeah, amnesia!

We don´t know for sure (I forgot actually) but the most important proof found about...my granma! I love my granma. She bakes us cookies every Sunday. Well anyway...it was bananas?...no...I think...oh well, how about this:

Grandma: "Sweety, who was that German guy who ruined my life again...Mussolini?...Stalin?"

Grandson: "No, he was Alzheimer, grandma, Alzheimer."

[edit] Russian Princess by the same name

Amnesia is also the name given to the last Russian Princess, because everyone forgot about her after the .communists took over Asia. If anyone is said to have "had Amnesia," they actually mean they slipped it to a Princess and not the condition, if I remember correctly.

[edit] South Pacific Islands

Wait, Amnesia is also a group of small islands in the South Pacific, right?

[edit] Who is at risk for Amnesia?

Generally, characters on...what are they called....detergent musicals? No. I don't think that's right. Bloody hell these headache tablets aren't doing anything.

[Insert useless superfluous caption that nobody will remember by tomorrow anyway]

[edit] Are you an amnesiac?

I did know this one... Magnus Magnusson?

Wait, wait, does this have something to do with...damnit damnit damnit! what was it? Something about...oh, heavy marble lamp dropping on a small child's head...was he my cousin? No..no, he was...my sister? No..Magnus Magnusson? Yeah, that's it.

[edit] Amnesia International

Amnesia International is a shadowy charity organization that helps people with amnesia worldwide. Despite being a large organization, the world at large remains oblivious to their existence. Coincidentally so does the organization itself. I was a member myself but I kept forgetting to go. Therefore, there isn't really that much more to say about them, except that...uh, well...