From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“I am glad that America has chosen to move its Army into virtual storage.”
“America has a pretty damn good army... game.”
“Medic!...... Medic! Medic! Medic! Medic! Medic! Medic!...”
America's Army is a shooting game made by the United States Army. Its main purpose for existence is to entice people to be brave enough to put themselves into the line of fire by first letting them stay very far away from the line of fire and then creating all opportunities of getting close to the line of fire and then to either cross someone's line of fire (enemy or flreindly) or start imposing their own line of fire (enemy or friendly) to see how it actually works in real life conditions, assuming you have infinite lives in there as well. The Army has bragged about the game's realism, with a notable tone of sarcasm. In private conversations, they have said that "It's really all just a joke we came up with while mowing down some Iraqis. With a M4000 Lawn Mower. For a true combat experience requiring tactics and team decisions, we recommend a game like Duke Nukem 3D. Or, for the hardcore combatant, Boulder Dash, or at least, Digger." However, some soldiers argue that the game has made them a more professional strategist.
On most levels, the objective of America's Army is to post anti-terrorism propaganda around villages depicting messages such as "We Want You (to die)", "If you don't die, the terrorists win.", and of course "You forgot Poland." In fact, all enemies in the game, AKA Opposing Force (OPFOR), a player have chance to encounter in the game speak Polish. Or at least they pretend to. It actually may seem like it is a speech of a Polish guys found themselves in other slavic country, trying to speak alll of the neighbouring tongues at once. There are never any actual enemies in the game, but there is just a great as threat as the squad you are with will always shoot first and ask questions later. (such questions as "Why ?" or "30 SECONDS NADE WTF!")
The ACK-47's existence is called into question in America's Army. Often a soldier will kill an "enemy" and pick up their weapon, yelling "Dude! I GOT AN ACK!" However, the dead "enemy" explains that it is simply the typical American cereal-box rifle, and that the blood flowing out of their chest is uncomfortable.
A weapon parodying the TV show, the M24 is a sniper rifle used in delicate situations. Namely, often when you receive it you will have 24 hours in which to kill the lead terrorist, leaving the server every hour and returning every week. If you fail, millions of computers across the country will receive the horrible fate of needing to travel to your house and stab you in the face.