Alternate universe
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[edit] !noitnettA
!esrevinU etanretlA eht si sihT
[edit] Please!
If you're NOT from this universe, GO AWAY!
[edit] Language for the Alternate Universe
Hfrgryrhqtugqu
[edit] Moonrise Report
Good night all you non-existent people out there! As you know this is the alternate universe! So here's the report for the night! YOU STINK!
[edit] End Here
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Goodbye from Uncyclopedia, the content-filled encyclopedia that nobody can edit. Oprah has inspired us to demolish 25,074 articles in anticipation of the closing in January 2010. Please take care not to read the Expert's Guide or browse the Small Five.
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Today's Least Interesting ArticleToday's featured article
Abraham Lincoln (February 12, 1809 – April 15, 1865) was the 16th President of the United States, serving from March 1861 until his assassination in April 1865. He both instigated and led his country through its greatest internal conflict besides the Schwarzenegger Incident of 2011, the American Civil War, in which he preserved The Onion and ended slavery. Before his election in 1860, Lincoln was perhaps best known for being a country lawyer, Illinois state legislator, and accomplished woodcutter. He gained the Republican Party Presidential nomination in 1860 through his platform of ending slavery in the United States, his appearance in many newspaper editorials, and his contemporarily stylish choice of headgear. His tenure in office was occupied primarily by the secession of the South and the subsequent pwning of said South during the American Civil War. He introduced measures that resulted in the abolition of slavery, which resulted in slavery being noticeably frowned upon by all member States of the Union, and he eventually championed the passage of the Thirteenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. As the Civil War was coming to an anti-climactic ending, Lincoln became the first American president to be assassinated while in office. Lincoln closely supervised the victorious U.S. Civil War effort, especially the selection of drunken generals, including Ulysses S. Grant, who were only slightly more of a danger to their own troops than their enemy. Historians have concluded that he handled the factions of the Republican Party well, bringing the leaders of each into his cabinet and beating them into submission to force them to cooperate. Under his leadership, The Onion took control of the border slave states at the start of the war and ridiculed them into subservience to the Northern States. Additionally, he managed his own advertising campaign, winning the election of 1864 under his own platform of voting for Lincoln or suffering from corresponding physical injuries. (more...) Recently featured: UnTweets:Osama Bin Laden - The Prisoner (US Remake) - Rod Serling - Street Fighter - UnPoetia:The Best Damn Tape Measure in the World - UnBooks:Insipid Sentimental Women's Novel
Yesterday's featured article
Name: Osama bin Laden Following 1  Bin Laden I have just woken up after a bad night's sleep. Sleeping on rocks is most painful, indeed. 05:35am October 29th from web Now, to the Dawn prayer.. Remember, kids, true warriors of Al-Qaeda never miss the Dawn prayer. 05:38am October 29th from web Training camp time. It is most fun. Training camps are funny, indeed. 06:02am October 29th from web We drove over a goat with the Jeep on our way to the camp. May your soul find its way to Paradise, my lesser friend. 06:08am October 29th from web I see many new faces here, our bretheren from all over the globe have come to fight for our most just and noble cause! victory is nigh! \m/ 06:12am October 29th from web (more...) If you vote for your favorite articles to be featured, we will kill you. More of the worst of Uncyclopedia The future November 15: Awareness in Iguanas Awareness Week begins
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- International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies — various causes, including Asian floods, relief in the Middle East, and aid for Hurricane Katrina to build a New New Orleans
- Disasters Emergency Committee — earthquake relief, Niger aid; ideal for mediocre British taxpayers as Gordon Brown gives a bit as well
- UNICEF — African AIDS relief, child health services, etc.
- Save Darfur — donate to help provide aid to the ongoing genocide in Darfur
- Join Uncyclopedia's Folding@home Team — Help the world while doing very little work
- Free Rice of the UN World Food Program: play some games, feed hungry people
For completely unrelated IRC chat, you may try killing yourself.
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