Gul Dukat is a wise Cardassian statesman and cuddly little genocidal maniac from the TV series's Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Keeping Up with the Cardassians, and Gul Dukat Takes Miami. He is widely regarded as being the nicest character in TV history, but is constantly suffering from abuse by the other characters.
Before the beginning of the show, I, Dukat served as the prefect of the planet Bajor, which was under Cardassian occupation protection because they were really weak, primitive and pathetic and didn't know how to take care of themselves. They needed Dukat, to govern and defend them and he was there to help. Unfortunately, at this time, Bajor was threatened by evil terrorists who wanted to overthrow the legitimate government of Bajor, expel their Cardassian protectors, and establish a planet-wide theocracy.
Now, Dukat tried to be as kind as possible towards the Bajoran people, going out of my his way many times to hand out stuffed animals and apple juice. But the Bajorans complained that these had been produced in Bajoran work camps which for some reason upset them. Whatever, more Teddies for me. These happy work camps were created by the Cardassians to help train the primitive Bajorians in more modern ways of manufacturing (and to partially off-set the cost of protecting Bajor). (more...)
4500 BCE – Sumerians invent beer; burping becomes popular throughout the known world.
4486 BCE – First sighting of pink elephants, well before standard elephants were known in most places.
1264 – The Parliament of Ireland meets for the first time at Castledermot in County Kildare. While in session, the parliament discusses beer rationing, leprechaun sightings, and whiskey rationing, and also hires St. Patrick to address the rampant snake problem.
1759 – Guinness opens its first brewery. Testers consume the entire output for the first year before being fired.
1812 – War of 1812: The US Congress declares war on the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland. The British respond by taxing the US tea supply to ridiculous proportions, and ceasing the exporting of cricket and croquet materials to North America.
1887 – The Reinsurance Treaty between Germany and Russia is signed, ending all conflicts between the two nations permanently. 
1917 – The first carbonated drink is put on the market. People are unaware of the dangers in Cocaine Cola.
1920 – Charles Grigg begins selling 7-Up, a carbonated drink containing lithium citrate. IT'SUPPOSEDTOBEAMOODSTABI LIZERFORBIPOLARS! I'M TALkINg TOyoU!! HEY!!liSTEN UP!! wHADDAYAmEAN IT'SnoT an iNGREDIEnT anYMoRE??
1928 – Aviator Amelia Earhart becomes the first woman to fly in an aircraft across the Atlantic Ocean (she was a passenger; Wilmer Stutz was the pilot and Lou Gordon the mechanic). She also becomes the first woman to nag a pilot in midflight across the Atlantic Ocean.
1978 – Jonestown Massacre occurs with many drinking poisoned Kool Aid to commit suicide. Poisoned Grape flavor becomes a big seller.
1983 – Space Shuttle program: STS-7, Astronaut Sally Ride becomes the first American woman in space. She also becomes the first American woman to nag a fellow astronaut in space.
2007 – St. Peter's Basilica is most likely to awaken from its two-year slumber on this day, according to Vatican-sponsored astrological studies. False Popes are currently being prepared to divert its attention and appetite in anticipation of events on the day.
2009 - International Delicious Beverage Day cancelled due to European Bovril famine.