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Today's Least Interesting Article

Today's Featured Article - Community

Meet-the-clangers

A community is a collection of humans, thought of as an undifferentiated unit. This means that individual differences of opinion can be denied, disparaged, or dealt with through unactionable campaign promises or Special Limited-Time Offers. Why one should think of humans as an undifferentiated unit is an open question. It works for a herd of grazing cows; they demonstrate all the typical traits of a community. By comparison, if the human world were a community, one would assume the victims of an opera-house massacre would not have scrambled to find the nearest exit.

To understand how a community works, we need to look at the Human Condition: "the characteristics, key events, and situations essential to human existence." Examples are: broadband speed, fashion, drama, perceived individuality and whether a smoker or non-smoker. The Human Condition is very broad (more so in American ballparks), and is pondered and analyzed from perspectives including philosophy, art, sociology, ethnic cleansers, and despots.

As a literary term, "the Human Condition" is typically used in the context of ambiguous subjects, such as what is the right hair color. Once the literature is bought by Hollywood, the Human Condition is subordinate to conditioner, and then hair color including metal-flaking. The Human Condition describes the moral compass heading that keeps the individual from being lost in a crowd professing to have the identical compass heading. A community is a social unit of any size that shares these common values, or at least pretends to in public. (more...)

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The future

Buddha Pacman Thumb

May 2: Leper Kissing Day in Romania, Throw live babies into the ocean day (Japan)

  • 483 BC - Gautama Buddha dies, having finally achieved his lifetime best score on Pac-man. Only to have his score be beaten one minute later by God
  • 20 AD - Jesus Kisses First Leper
  • 1390 - Chaucer invents the toaster.
  • 1822 - The English town of Gimbley Gulch is destroyed in an avalanche of discarded maypoles.
  • 1856 - Carbon-dating shows that fire was actually invented by Google.
  • 1876 - Behind schedule, the April Uprising breaks out in Bulgaria.
  • 1923 - The first test-flight of the Jumbo Jet is aborted when engineers discover that the jet engine hasn't been invented yet.
  • 1936 - God declares linear progression of time 'boring' and bans it. Confusing nonsense ensues.
  • 1942 - Mick Jagger is born and immiediately finds he cant get no satisfaction, oh no no.
  • 1985 - Leg warmers officially registered 'unfashionable' by United Nations.
  • 1986 - Coke debuts its "New Coke", in a convoluted and ultimate successful attempt to increase sales of Pepsi.
  • 2000 - Mexico exhausts its supply of refried beans following the trade embargo imposed by the Council for Fresh Air.
  • 2011 - Osama bin Laden is caught by Chuck Norris and sodomized to death. Disappointed to find 72 Trekkies waiting for him.

More predictions

In the olds

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Recent Second Front Pages: GreeceHillary!UK election


More Historical Events at UnHistory History


You shouldn't know...

For Uncyclopedia's favorite candy:

  • ...that Kitten Huffing is a popular, though controversial, alternative to street drugs such as skag and crank?


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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 31,380 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
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