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Today's Least Interesting Article

Today's Featured Article - Georges Danton

GeorgesDanton4

Georges Jacques Danton (26 October 1759 – 5 April 1794) was a leader of the French Revolution who was even uglier than the actor who once played him in a French movie. Danton today is seen as a 'hero' of France. Streets and battleships are named after this Jacobin responsible for the deaths of Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette. Even guard dogs carry the name of the man who helped to define France's big leap from monarchy into anarchy. (more...)

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The future

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December 6: International Day of the Jackal, Take Your Pants Off for Cancer Day (Utah, observed), Indifference Day (Finland), National Public Pooping Day (Denmark)

  • 1865 - The USA ends slavery; immediately outsources slave labour to china at $0.06/hr and mexico at a variable rate.
  • 1901 - Chicago woman gives birth to Walt Disney, who immediately sues her for copyright infringement.
  • 1910 - The puzzle potato was nearly shoplifted by Winona Ryder from Lester B. Pearson's flaxen wool-works store. The event was made into hit a movie starring Gary Coleman as Winona Ryder.
  • 1967 - The word "pwned" finally reaches its expiration date, according to the recently-unearthed original packaging.
  • 1968 - Despite that, nobody stops using the word.
  • 1969 - Neil Armstrong becomes the first man to play Calvinball on the Moon, outsmarting opponent and fellow astronaut Buzz Aldrin by chanting an immunity poem (see:One Small Step) and planting his flag, automatically earning himself 144 Elephant gnuts and claiming the Rank of "Duke of Ham Sandwich". Some debate the legality of this play, questioning whether Armstrong was wearing his black mask under his space helmet, but Armstrong has silenced most of their criticisms through clever use of "Jinx!"
  • 1975 - William Herbert explains Reimann symmetry in a quasi-formatic manifold to sea lions at a Dutch park.
  • 1979 - The United Kingdom realizes Donkey Kong as a threat.
  • 1982 - A law is passed in Botswana that not only legalizes but encourages the use of the bong.
  • 1984 - A Botswanian man mixes a dangerous cocktail of toxic waste, Windex, triple-ply toilet paper and Leprechaun s'mores in his bong. The resulting smokes endow the man with the power to light his middle finger ablaze when using it for insult. In response, local Botswanians are quoted as saying, "Hmm."
  • 2310 - Sea Lions begin developing Science Labs to discuss the great science God William Herbert

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In the olds

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Second Front Pages: BrexitHillary!TrumpUK 2015 electionGreece


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  • ...that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network?


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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 31,477 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
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Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on September 3, 2014.
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