Allen Iverson

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“Now here's a guy who whenever he steps on a basketball court he takes control...kinda like Brett Favre.”
~ John Madden on Allen Iverson
“Who?!?!?!”
~ Mike Jones on Allen Iverson
“We talkin' about practice!”
~ Allen Iverson on Practice

“Are we talking about the game?”
~ Oscar Wilde on The Game

“Not a Game WE TALKIN BOUT PRACTICE!”
~ Allen Iverson on Practice

“You sure?”
~ Oscar Wilde on The Game

“Yeah, that's what I've been talking about. Nobody got it the first time, so I had to say it over 20 times.”
~ Allen Iverson on Practice
“No I'm the answer!!!”
~ Allen Iverson on Question
Iverson
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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Allen Iverson.

edit Early Life

Iverson attended Bethel High School where he was a star at football and basketball. All his coaches said Allen was one of the best ballhogs that they had ever seen. On Valentine's Day Allen Iverson and some of his friends were at a bowling alley when a group of grues came up and allegedly started saying racial slurs to them (the grues also tried to have sex with them). The slurs (and attempted sex) started a fight and in the craziness of the fight Iverson hit a woman in the head with a chair. The judge was going to convict Iverson, but right before he did Iverson pulled the race card on him. The judge was white so he let Iverson go.

edit College Days

[[Image:Allen went to Weed and Pot College for a national weed and pot maker. One day he was out side by the basketball court smoking dope and coach Buzz Williams saw him. He told him to make a big one for him so he did but he went to jail because he told on him. Iverson leaarned how to play basketball in prison so he erned a spot on the the wwheelchair team. He was so high one game he drank gas and puked all over the floor. Making a fat lady in the stands llick it up and eat it.

==NBA==Georgetown's player slipped on the basketball court and broke his nose. The player's nose bone went into his brain and killed him. The Hoyas needed an player to replace the dead one, so they asked Iverson and they found out he was really bad. At Georgetown Iverson won 2 Big Dick Player of the year Awards, a Rookie of the year Award, and 1995-96 All-Tournament 5th Team. Iverson also became the Hoyas' All-Time leading passer. Iverson was forced to go to the pros after only 2 seasons beacause Georgetown didn't want him to shatter every school window there was. Also due to his promiscuity with both men and women and Allen Iverson was drafted #1 overall in the NBA Draft by the (who ever s]couted him made the unworst choice ever)(unLuckily they did scout Kobe good enough because the lakers got the best steal in draft history)(LMAO!! Whoever said that is an idiot, Kobe was drafted by the Hornets) Philadephia Seventy-Sixers. In his rookie year Iverson won the Rookie of the Year Award and was named to the 1st All-Rookie Team. He also led all rookies in points, assists, steals, and people hit in the head with chairs. The media always criticized him for being to selfish and for his hip-hop image.(which included him showing up to practice and games with a white line under his nose and blood shot eyes). In 2001 Iverson won the All-Star Game MVP in Chair Throwing. He also won the leauge MVP and his 2nd Scoring Title. That year he lead he lead his team to the NBA Finals. They lost though due to Iverson getting mad and assulting Shaq with a folding chair. Later in his career said this in a press conference.(no joke I couldn't make this up)

"If Coach tells you that I missed practice, then that's that. I may have missed one practice this year but if somebody says he missed one practice of all the practices this year, then that's enough to get a whole lot started. I told Coach Brown that you don't have to give the people of Philadelphia a reason to think about trading me or anything like that. If you trade somebody, you trade them to make the team better...simple as that. I'm cool with that. I'm all about that. The people in Philadelphia deserve to have a winner. It's simple as that. It goes further than that ... If I can't practice, I can't practice. It is as simple as that. It ain't about that at all. It's easy to sum it up if you're just talking about practice. We're sitting here, and I'm supposed to be the franchise player, and we're talking about practice. I mean listen, we're sitting here talking about practice, not a game, not a game, not a game, but we're talking about practice. Not the game that I go out there and die for and play every game like it's my last but we're talking about practice man. How silly is that? ... Now I know that I'm supposed to lead by example and all that but I'm not shoving that aside like it don't mean anything. I know it's important, I honestly do but we're talking about practice. We're talking about practice man. We're talking about practice. We're talking about practice. We're not talking about the game. We're talking about practice. When you come to the arena, and you see me play, you've seen me play right, you've seen me give everything I've got, but we're talking about practice right now. ... Hey I hear you, it's funny to me too, hey it's strange to me too but we're talking about practice man, we're not even talking about the game, when it actually matters, we're talking about practice ... How the hell can I make my teammates better by practicing"? That speech he had made now has an influence on kids all over the U.S, Because now they all say "PRACTICE?!?!?!" as a joke. IF YOU ARE ONE OF THESE PEOPLE YOU ARE NOT FUNNY YOU ARE STUPID!

edit Denver

On December 19 Iverson was traded to the Nuggets for Andre Miller and Mr. No-Name.(mostly because he became such a a crying ass that they just gave him away) (WAWAWAWAWAWA!!!!!) Since arriving in Denver Iverson has become friends with Carmelo Anthony. Together the two like to show their butts to camera men and beating other people up(as shown in Madison Square Garden when the Nuggets were playing the Knicks. Although Iverson wasn't there). Iverson also was going to pursue a rap career under the name Jewelz, but decided to scrap the plan since he couldnt rap. He has been seen hanging out with Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Eric Cartman during the offseason. Unfortunetly, Iverson got mad at Kenny while playing cards and hit him in the head with a chair killing him. Stan jumped up and said "You killed Kenny!" while Kyle said "You bastard!".

edit (:O penis->) 8=Detroit

Denver traded Allen Iverson to Detroit on November 3rd, 2008 for Chauncey Billups, Cheik Samb, and Antonio McDyess. He averaged a carreer low 17 points per game along with 5 assists and 3 rebounds. Things did not work out so well in Detroit and he decided to become a free agent after the Pistons had below a .500 record for the first time since 2001. He signed with the Memphis Grizzlies on September 9th, 2009.


edit Philidephia Rebirth

The whole Allen Iverson- Memphis grizzlies experiment never did work out. Iverson only played 3 games with the Memphis Grizzlies because team-mate OJ Mayo kicked iverson in the balls everytime he asked the coach for playing time. Iverson's balls began to swell up, which enlarged his head. He was kicked in the balls so many times by OJ Mayo that he could no longer play regular season games with the memphis grizzlies. His balls were so swollen that he pronounced himself as "retired". He did this to give his balls some time to heal from all of the OJ Mayo drop-kicks. Once his balls made a successful recovery, he contacted David Stern and requested to come off of his bullshit retirement and make a return to the team who drafted him, since he figured he had no where else to go. David Stern agreed on the request, but he made a counter offer. His counter offer request was for Iverson to go to the nearest walgreens and purchase a roll of scott tissue and wipe David Stern's ass every time he took a shit for the next 2 in a half weeks. Iverson agreed.


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