Alien vs. Predator

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[[image:predatortrial.jpg|thumb|right|350px|The Predator legal team was second to none.]]
[[image:predatortrial.jpg|thumb|right|360px|The Predator legal team was second to none.]]
 
   
'''''Alien v. Predator''''', [[666]] [[U.S.]] [[1337]] ([[2004]]) was a landmark [[Supreme Court]] case on abortion rights. The court ruled, in par with federal law's precedence over state law, that [[abortion]] for [[Alien|Xenomorph]] [[Queen]]s was a right that must conditionally adhere to the right of privacy as granted by the [[Guantanamo|Due Process Clause]] of the [[Constitution|Fourteenth Amendment]].
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{{Q|Alien vs. Predator? More like Alien vs. Child Predator, have you seen that guy? Like really have you seen his face? He's the kind of guy with the trench coat in a schoolyard saying 'Play with me...'| [[Alien]]|Predators}}
   
The Alien v. Predator decision prompted national [[debate]] that continues to this day over whether and to what extent abortion should be illegal, who should decide whether or not [[abortion]] is [[illegal]], what methods the Supreme Court should use in constitutional adjudication, and what rights (if any) parasitoid extraterrestrial species have by the Constitution.
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{{Q|Well it was all good until the Alien started to cover himself in mud, then everything just went tits up.|[[Predator]]|Alien}}
   
  +
'''''Alien v. Predator''''', [[666]] [[U.S.]] [[1337]] ([[2004]]) was a landmark [[Supreme Court]] case on abortion rights. The court ruled, in par with federal law's precedence over state law, that [[abortion]] for [[Alien|Xenomorph]] [[Queen]]s was a right that conditionally adhered to the right of privacy as granted by the [[Guantanamo|Due Process Clause]] of the [[Constitution|Fourteenth Amendment]].
  +
  +
The Alien v. Predator decision prompted national [[debate]] that continues to this day over whether and to what extent abortion should be illegal, who should decide whether or not [[abortion]] is [[illegal]], what methods the Supreme Court should use in constitutional adjudication, and what rights (if any) parasitoid extraterrestrial species have by the Constitution.
  +
{{wikipedia}}
 
==Case history==
 
==Case history==
[[Image:Predator_janitor_by_thlayli.jpg|thumb|right|340px|Predator, working as a janitor prior to the case.]]
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[[Image:Predator janitor by thlayli.jpg|thumb|right|300px|Predator, working as a janitor prior to the case.]]
   
[[Alien]] and [[Predator]] were a happy couple living in Liberal Groves, [[California]]. [[Alien]] was a young medical student and Xenomorph queen working her way through medical school, and [[Predator]] was a young [[alcohol|alchoholic]] janitor working his way through [[liver]] failure. It was a match made in [[heaven]]. Until one day, after a night of passionate [[sex|lovemaking]], Alien discovered that she was pregnant.
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[[Alien]] and [[Predator]] were a happy couple living in Liberal Groves, [[California]]. Alien was a young medical student and Xenomorph queen working her way through medical school, and [[Predator]] was a young [[alcoholic]] janitor working his way through [[alcoholism|liver failure]]. It was a match made in [[heaven]]. Until one day, after a night of passionate [[sex|lovemaking]], Alien discovered that she was pregnant.
   
Naturally, Alien was shocked. The couple felt they were not prepared to support a child. Plus, the fact that it would have to burst out of Predator's chest and [[kill]] him was a bit of a downer. So Predator convinced Alien to go to the local Abortions-Я-Us to remove the [[fetus]]. Unfortunately, Alien changed her mind and decided to keep the [[child]] after she discovered it was required to have a 24-hour waiting period; during this time Predator filed a [[lawsuit]] on the basis that his child had a right to [[death]].
+
Naturally, Alien was shocked. The couple felt they were not prepared to support a child. Plus, the fact that it would have to burst out of Predator's chest and [[kill]] him was a bit of a downer. So Predator convinced Alien to go to the local Abortions-Я-Us to remove the [[fetus]].
  +
  +
Unfortunately, Alien changed her mind and decided to keep the [[child]] after she discovered it was required to have a 24-hour waiting period; during this time Predator filed a [[lawsuit]] on the basis that his child had a right to [[death]].
   
 
==The decision==
 
==The decision==
  +
 
The Supreme Court pondered many issues during the deliberation. These included:
 
The Supreme Court pondered many issues during the deliberation. These included:
   
 
*Does someone have the right to terminate a pregnancy to keep their chest from exploding?
 
*Does someone have the right to terminate a pregnancy to keep their chest from exploding?
 
*Especially if he's [[male]]?
 
*Especially if he's [[male]]?
*Will the child will be a vicious alien?
+
*Will the child be a vicious alien?
 
*Boxers or briefs?
 
*Boxers or briefs?
   
The Court came to a 7-2 majority decision to strike down [[California]] abortion laws and make all other [[state]] [[law]]s in confliction with the ruling null and void. The vote tallies were as follows:
+
The Court came to a 6-3 majority decision to strike down [[California]] abortion laws and make all other [[state]] [[law]]s in confliction with the ruling null and void. The vote tallies were as follows:
   
*Chief Justice [[Judge_John_G._Roberts_Jr.|John Roberts]]: Predator
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*Chief Justice [[Judge John G. Roberts Jr.|John Roberts]]: Predator
 
*Justice [[John Paul Jones]]: Alien
 
*Justice [[John Paul Jones]]: Alien
 
*Justice [[Samuel Alito]]: Alien
 
*Justice [[Samuel Alito]]: Alien
Line 28: Line 33:
 
*Justice [[Ted Kennedy|Anthony Kennedy]]: Alien
 
*Justice [[Ted Kennedy|Anthony Kennedy]]: Alien
 
*Justice [[That guy|David Souter]]: Alien
 
*Justice [[That guy|David Souter]]: Alien
*Justice [[Clarence Thomas]]: Alien
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*Justice [[Clarence Thomas]]: Predator
 
*Justice [[Ruth Bader Ginsburg]]: Alien
 
*Justice [[Ruth Bader Ginsburg]]: Alien
 
*Justice [[Oscar Wilde]]: Alien
 
*Justice [[Oscar Wilde]]: Alien
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{{Cquote|We cannot allow Xenomorphs and Yautja into this country without documentation and offer them judicial representation when they have clearly violated the law. The law is what we stand for, and the law is clearly in favor of the state's rights and the status quo on the matter of alien babies.}}
 
{{Cquote|We cannot allow Xenomorphs and Yautja into this country without documentation and offer them judicial representation when they have clearly violated the law. The law is what we stand for, and the law is clearly in favor of the state's rights and the status quo on the matter of alien babies.}}
[[Image:CatchApredator.jpg|thumb|left|999px|The media's response appeared biased to some. Predator was often portrayed as an alcoholic wife-beater, [[pedophile]], and murderous savage humanoid alien.]]
+
  +
Associate Justice [[Clarence Thomas]] was quoted in an interview outside of proceedings as saying,
  +
  +
{{Cquote|I agree with what Scalia said ... Is that what he said? I'll vote with that.}}
   
 
==Media response==
 
==Media response==
The [[media]] descended in a frenzy. "Alien vs. Predator" became the media fad of the week, with feminist groups and 'right-to-lifers' on the side of Alien and 'pro-choice' groups and most [[men]] on the side of Predator. The Bush administration was asked to provide an opinion on the case, but given the nature of the issue it's completely understandable that [[George W. Bush]] hid in a bunker until three months after the case was over.
+
[[Image:CatchApredator.jpg|thumb|left|240px|The media's response appeared biased to some. Predator was often portrayed as an alcoholic wife-beater, [[pedophile]], and murderous savage humanoid alien.]]
  +
  +
The [[media]] descended in a frenzy. "Alien vs. Predator" became the media fad of the week, with feminist groups and 'right-to-lifers' on the side of Alien and 'pro-choice' groups and most [[men]] on the side of Predator.
  +
  +
The [[Bush administration]] was asked to provide an opinion on the case, but given the nature of the issue it's completely understandable that [[George W. Bush]] hid in a bunker until three months after the case was over.
   
 
==Aftermath==
 
==Aftermath==
The case sparked continuous debate over the legalities and technicalities of abortion. But one of the more interesting aspects of ''Alien v. Predator'' was the personal aftermath on both Alien and Predator themselves. Due to the extremely short gestation of Xenomorph babies, Predator's [[face]] was latched onto by a facehugger and implanted the fetus in Predator's chest, which shortly [[explode]]d. Thus, Alien's baby was born before the Supreme Court made its ruling. Despite this, the ruling was important in what it accomplished for other Xenomorphs and personal opinions on abortion.
+
The case sparked continuous debate over the legalities and technicalities of abortion. But one of the more interesting aspects of ''Alien v. Predator'' was the personal aftermath on both Alien and Predator themselves. Due to the extremely short gestation of Xenomorph babies, Predator's [[face]] was latched onto by a facehugger and implanted the fetus in Predator's chest, which shortly [[explode]]d.
  +
  +
Thus, Alien's baby was born before the Supreme Court made its ruling. Despite this, the ruling was important in what it accomplished for other Xenomorphs and personal opinions on abortion.
 
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*[[Pot v. Kettle]]
 
*[[Pot v. Kettle]]
 
*[[Roe v. Wade]]
 
*[[Roe v. Wade]]
*[[Law v. Order]]
 
 
*[[Freddy v. Jason]]
 
*[[Freddy v. Jason]]
 
*[[Kramer v. Kramer]]
 
*[[Kramer v. Kramer]]
 
*[[Godzilla vs. Urethra]]
 
*[[Godzilla vs. Urethra]]
   
[[Category: Law]][[Category:Politics_and_Government]]
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[[Category:United States law]]
[[Category:Landmark Decisions]]
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[[Category:Politics of the United States]]
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[[Category:United States Supreme Court cases]]
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[[Category:Aliens]]
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{{FA|date=11 January 2008|revision=2718258}}
   
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[[fr:Alien vs Predator]]
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[[it:Alien vs Predator]]
 
[[th:AVP]]
 
[[th:AVP]]

Latest revision as of 05:01, January 12, 2013

Predatortrial

The Predator legal team was second to none.

“Alien vs. Predator? More like Alien vs. Child Predator, have you seen that guy? Like really have you seen his face? He's the kind of guy with the trench coat in a schoolyard saying 'Play with me...'”
~ Alien on Predators
“Well it was all good until the Alien started to cover himself in mud, then everything just went tits up.”
~ Predator on Alien

Alien v. Predator, 666 U.S. 1337 (2004) was a landmark Supreme Court case on abortion rights. The court ruled, in par with federal law's precedence over state law, that abortion for Xenomorph Queens was a right that conditionally adhered to the right of privacy as granted by the Due Process Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment.

The Alien v. Predator decision prompted national debate that continues to this day over whether and to what extent abortion should be illegal, who should decide whether or not abortion is illegal, what methods the Supreme Court should use in constitutional adjudication, and what rights (if any) parasitoid extraterrestrial species have by the Constitution.

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article very remotely related to Alien vs. Predator.

edit Case history

Predator janitor by thlayli

Predator, working as a janitor prior to the case.

Alien and Predator were a happy couple living in Liberal Groves, California. Alien was a young medical student and Xenomorph queen working her way through medical school, and Predator was a young alcoholic janitor working his way through liver failure. It was a match made in heaven. Until one day, after a night of passionate lovemaking, Alien discovered that she was pregnant.

Naturally, Alien was shocked. The couple felt they were not prepared to support a child. Plus, the fact that it would have to burst out of Predator's chest and kill him was a bit of a downer. So Predator convinced Alien to go to the local Abortions-Я-Us to remove the fetus.

Unfortunately, Alien changed her mind and decided to keep the child after she discovered it was required to have a 24-hour waiting period; during this time Predator filed a lawsuit on the basis that his child had a right to death.

edit The decision

The Supreme Court pondered many issues during the deliberation. These included:

  • Does someone have the right to terminate a pregnancy to keep their chest from exploding?
  • Especially if he's male?
  • Will the child be a vicious alien?
  • Boxers or briefs?

The Court came to a 6-3 majority decision to strike down California abortion laws and make all other state laws in confliction with the ruling null and void. The vote tallies were as follows:

edit Dissent

Dissent was led by Chief Justice John Roberts and followed by Associate Justice Antonin Scalia. Antonin based his dissent on the fact that the couple in question were in fact illegal immigrants who could not provide documentation of their citizenship:

Cquote1 We cannot allow Xenomorphs and Yautja into this country without documentation and offer them judicial representation when they have clearly violated the law. The law is what we stand for, and the law is clearly in favor of the state's rights and the status quo on the matter of alien babies. Cquote2

Associate Justice Clarence Thomas was quoted in an interview outside of proceedings as saying,

Cquote1 I agree with what Scalia said ... Is that what he said? I'll vote with that. Cquote2

edit Media response

CatchApredator

The media's response appeared biased to some. Predator was often portrayed as an alcoholic wife-beater, pedophile, and murderous savage humanoid alien.

The media descended in a frenzy. "Alien vs. Predator" became the media fad of the week, with feminist groups and 'right-to-lifers' on the side of Alien and 'pro-choice' groups and most men on the side of Predator.

The Bush administration was asked to provide an opinion on the case, but given the nature of the issue it's completely understandable that George W. Bush hid in a bunker until three months after the case was over.

edit Aftermath

The case sparked continuous debate over the legalities and technicalities of abortion. But one of the more interesting aspects of Alien v. Predator was the personal aftermath on both Alien and Predator themselves. Due to the extremely short gestation of Xenomorph babies, Predator's face was latched onto by a facehugger and implanted the fetus in Predator's chest, which shortly exploded.

Thus, Alien's baby was born before the Supreme Court made its ruling. Despite this, the ruling was important in what it accomplished for other Xenomorphs and personal opinions on abortion.

edit See also

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