Alien

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"junior S. raping his friends!"
:~ Captain Obvious

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This page is or discusses a loony and/or nutty conspiracy theory, which Uncyclopedia vehemently denies knowledge and existence of. The black helicopters are ^not _^on their way.

“If you stick your tounge in a taco, people will think your nuts!”

~ Spock

“You want to Abduct ME?! I'll kick your tentacled ass”

~ Chuck Norris

“If they exist then maybe I have heat vision!”

~ Sam Mancuso

“I come in peace motherfuckers”

~ Marvin the Martian

“I am here to EXTERMINATE!!!”

~ Dalek

“Aye, La Migra!La Migra! Andale, Vamos! Hacia del Carro, Vados!”

~ illegal alien reacts to a Border Patrol van pulling by their truck

“so do you guys got Xbox?”

~ 1st Alien to Speak with human

“They're not exactly from around here”

~ Captain Undersatement

“AAAAAALLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEENNNNNNN!!!!!!!”

~ Random douchebag on John McCain

“ah hell no!”

~ will smith on aliens

“They are clearly not from this planet...”

~ Captain Obvious on aliens

“It is because they have ears like Tony Blair”

~ Captain Obvious on why they are aliens

The alien was an invention conjured up from the evil mind of Elvis Presley that backfired on him and ultimately caused his death. D'oh! It is a disgusting creature that will be found to be cute and cuddly by children all over the world, while grown-ups will want to shoot at it with radios and bits of gravel they find in the street. First appearing in Area 3.14, they tend to go to Area 52, the Alien Relaxation Center.

Some Aliens, particularly the ones involved in most UFO sightings and abductions, are actually genetically mutated possums.

It is probably just swamp gas reflecting off the light of Venus or Uranus that creates these illusions.

[edit] Aliens in film and song

Yep, aliens have inspired many moments of culture! Below are just a few of the things you have probably enjoyed watching or listening to, thanks to aliens!

Muse
Hypocrisy
E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial and E.T. 2: Judgment Day
The Producers (The first film, the musical, and the second film)
U2’s The Joshua Tree
The band Alien Ant Farm, one of the most successful bands, with their hit "Smooth Criminal", a song made popular by a pre-cover version by Michael Jackson
Invader Zim
Men In Black and Men In Black 2
C-SPAN 1, 2, 3, 4, 51, 86, and 925
Alien_movies_saga summary
Your Closet
Marklar
All of High School Musical (you might not have liked it but they were there, raping the gay one.)
That Song by That Guy
JOS RETERA
The magical world of Walt Disney
Alien Movie - A so-called comedy by the Scary Movie team.
Las Vegas Area 51's minor league baseball team (gone, they moved back to Mars or Roswell, New Mexico).
The Telletubbies - (all of the characters are Aliens).
Your mom doing karaoke (that voice couldn't come from a human)

Aliens eat eachothers young after the four full alien minutes of painful alien pregnancy.

The baby is born through the alien mouth, each baby weighing 47 kilos and having on average 97 tenticles (premature alien years) its a painful thirty seconds.

The alien/scientological species mate by the male eating the females insides, soiling the insides whilst in the males stomach, and than the male regurgittates the insides back into the female through the belly button.

[edit] Footnotes

^ Various authors have tried to make a classification of alien forms. The classification used in this article is a general one from expert UFOlogists such as Lord Byron and Oprah Winfrey. However, due to some of these identities, some say the list is biased.

All aliens eat people of some form.

How about this one for gross--right now in your intestines are millions of living organisms living comfortably inside of you.

When you die, the living organisms will consume you after you're dead and to them, YOU will taste good.

An alien abduction is like the wonderful world after you fall asleep forever. Yes, all nice and too quiet, very cold and totally dark.

The end.

[edit] Origins

There are many theories for the origins of alien species. Aliens and UFOs are not visitors from vast other worlds and/or utopian societies as everyone thinks. Their origin actually began when the great Transfomer Optimus Prime defeated the evil Megatron on Earth. Once the Cybertronian rubex cube was destroyed, he sought to start a new home world with the biggest outcasts of Earth society, the nerds.

Here's my theory aliens are not actually real they are small kids with hi-fi japanese technology they were bred in the wombs of broke people who later sell them to government secret service the secret service provide the broke people semen and eggs of unsuspecting people and they just grow more and more babies later branded as aliens and killed by secret service branded as terrorists when their mission is completed.The secret service show porno of unsuspecting people to deeze babies so they are believe their parents were assholes.If people are not fucking they inject them with tranquilizers and mind control stuff and make them do it so the babies really believe they were born out of fucking.The unsuspecting people are later killed by their babies or by the secret service themselves unsuspectingly dats why they r called unsuspecting people.To prevent more aliens from being born jus kill ur sperms after u ejaculate even a single sperm left free can be a potential alien.Never think ur fucking a real human while u masturbate as the secret service can also read ur mind.Jus masturbate for the sake of doin it or think ur fucking a hentai babe/guy(if u r gay {hee hee}).