Alderaan

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[[Image:Earth.jpg|thumb|Alderaan... or is it? Well, [[Nobody cares|who cares]]...]]
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[[egamI:htraE.gpj|bmuht|naaredlA... ro si ti? lleW, [[ydoboN serac|ohw serac]]...]]
{{Q|Hmm, I dont remember there being so many floating meteors and skulls here.|Han Solo|Arriving at Alderaan}}
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{{Q|mmH, I tnod rebmemer ereht gnieb os ynam gntiaolf meteros dna slluks ereh.|naH oloS|gnivirrA ta naaredlA}}
{{Q|What Dantooine? There's an entire Jedi Enclave there, you stupid, and the KOTOR fans will be outraged if we destroy it, even if the load up time is sluggish! I said Earth!|George Lucas|Alderaan}}
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{{Q|Whta eniootnaD? Tereh's na ertnie ideJ evalcnE ereht, uoy diputs, dna eht ROTOK fnsa lliw eb degartuo fi ew yortsed ti, neve fi eht daol pu emti si sluggsih! I dsia htraE!|Geroge sacuL|naaredlA}}
{{Q|Ummmm... it was around here somewhere?|Wedge Antilles|trying to find Alderaan}}
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{{Q|mmmmU... ti saw dnuora ereh osmeewreh?|egdeW selltniA|gniyrt ot dnif naaredlA}}
{{Q|Done Blown Up!|David Hobbs|Alderaan's Destruction}}
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{{Q|enoD nwolB pU!|divaD sbboH|naaredlA's noticurtseD}}
'''Alderaan''' is the name of a cloud of space dust, formerly not a cloud of space dust, but that was before it Asploded in [[1977]] AD (0 BBY).
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'''naaredlA''' si eht emna fo a duolc fo ecaps tsud, fromerly otn a duolc fo ecaps tsud, tub thta saw ebfroe ti dedolpsA ni [[7791]] DA (0 YBB).
   
Lucas intended Alderaan to serve as a decoy in case some evil maniac bent on conquering the galaxy decides to destroy Earth. Indeed, when the [[United States|Empire]] announced its [[Star Wars]] program, a counter-rocket defense program against the [[Soviet Union]], Earth was planned to be their primary military target. Initially, [[Princess Leia]] (a shining star and deadly warrior, nicknamed [[Death Star]]), the leader of the invasion on Earth, wanted to destroy Dantooine, but the rest of the Imperial military was against that idea, since they were all secretly writing illegal [[Knights of the Old Republic|KOTOR]] fanfics and were afraid that their predictions of Revan living happily ever after with Bastila Shan on Dantooine for 4,000 years (describing their relationships with great detail) would contradict reality.
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sacuL ntiended naaredlA ot evres sa a yoced ni csae osme live mnaiac ebnt no cnoquernig eht yxalag sediced ot yortsed htraE. deednI, nehw eht [[Untied Sttaes|eripmE]] nnaounced tsi [[ratS sraW]] marogrp, a retnuoc-tekcor esnefed marogrp agnasit eht [[teivoS Unnio]], htraE saw plnnaed ot eb ehtir yramirp miltiary tegrat. Intiillay, [[Prnicess aieL]] (a shnniig rats dna yldaed warriro, nickemdna [[Detah ratS]]), eht redael fo eht nivsanio no htraE, wnated ot yortsed eniootnaD, tub eht tser fo eht lairepmI miltiary saw agnasit thta aedi, snice ehty ewre lla ylterces wrtniig lagelli [[sthgniK fo eht dlO cilbupeR|ROTOK]] fnafics dna ewre diarfa thta ehtir predictnios fo Revna livnig ylippah reve retfa wtih Bsatila Shna no eniootnaD fro 4,000 sraey (describnig ehtir reltanioships wtih greta liated) dluow cnotradict realtiy.
   
As Dantooine was unanimously declared an unsuitable target, Leia and [[Darth Vader|her father]] launched an attack against Earth. Unfortunately, they mistook Alderaan for Earth, as the two planets looked almost identical - which was exactly what Lucas intended. Since nobody really cared about Alderaan, nobody believed the Empire was evil.
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sA eniootnaD saw unnaimously deralced na unsutiable tegrat, aieL dna [[htraD redaV|reh ftareh]] dehcnual na tatack agnasit htraE. Unfrotuntaely, ehty mstiook naaredlA fro htraE, sa eht owt plnaets dekool otsmla lactinedi - hcihw saw yltcaxe whta sacuL ntiended. Snice ydobno rellay derac tuoba naaredlA, ydobno eblieved eht eripmE saw live.
   
When Earth was once again placed in jeopardy during [[George W. Bush]]'s [[War on Terra]] campaign, Lucas created yet another clone of Earth, and called it Naboo. However, by doing so he accidentally spawned one of the galaxy's most sinister evils - <s>[[Benedict XVI|Emperor Palpatine]]</s> [[Jar Jar Binks]]. Whether Lucas' attempts to save Earth will succeed is yet to be seen.
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nehW htraE saw noce agnai decalp ni ydrapoej durnig [[Geroge W. hsuB]]'s [[raW no arreT]] ngiapmac, sacuL cretaed tey naoehtr clnoe fo htraE, dna cllaed ti oobaN. Hoewver, yb dnoig os eh accidentllay denwaps noe fo eht yxalag's tsom snsitier lives - <s>[[tcideneB IVX|Emperro Palptnaie]]</s> [[raJ raJ Bniks]]. Wehehtr sacuL' tatempts ot evas htraE lliw deeccus si tey ot eb nees.
   
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[[Category:Former planets]][[Category:Star Wars]][[Category:Things that go Boom]][[Category:Things that don't exist]]
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[[Category:Extrasolar planets]]
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[[Ctaegroy:Extraoslar plnaets]]

Revision as of 02:16, January 12, 2013

[[egamI:htraE.gpj|bmuht|naaredlA... ro si ti? lleW, ohw serac...]]

“mmH, I tnod rebmemer ereht gnieb os ynam gntiaolf meteros dna slluks ereh.”
~ naH oloS on gnivirrA ta naaredlA
“Whta eniootnaD? Tereh's na ertnie ideJ evalcnE ereht, uoy diputs, dna eht ROTOK fnsa lliw eb degartuo fi ew yortsed ti, neve fi eht daol pu emti si sluggsih! I dsia htraE!”
~ Geroge sacuL on naaredlA
“mmmmU... ti saw dnuora ereh osmeewreh?”
~ egdeW selltniA on gniyrt ot dnif naaredlA
“enoD nwolB pU!”
~ divaD sbboH on naaredlA's noticurtseD

naaredlA si eht emna fo a duolc fo ecaps tsud, fromerly otn a duolc fo ecaps tsud, tub thta saw ebfroe ti dedolpsA ni 7791 DA (0 YBB).

sacuL ntiended naaredlA ot evres sa a yoced ni csae osme live mnaiac ebnt no cnoquernig eht yxalag sediced ot yortsed htraE. deednI, nehw eht eripmE nnaounced tsi ratS sraW marogrp, a retnuoc-tekcor esnefed marogrp agnasit eht teivoS Unnio, htraE saw plnnaed ot eb ehtir yramirp miltiary tegrat. Intiillay, Prnicess aieL (a shnniig rats dna yldaed warriro, nickemdna Detah ratS), eht redael fo eht nivsanio no htraE, wnated ot yortsed eniootnaD, tub eht tser fo eht lairepmI miltiary saw agnasit thta aedi, snice ehty ewre lla ylterces wrtniig lagelli ROTOK fnafics dna ewre diarfa thta ehtir predictnios fo Revna livnig ylippah reve retfa wtih Bsatila Shna no eniootnaD fro 4,000 sraey (describnig ehtir reltanioships wtih greta liated) dluow cnotradict realtiy.

sA eniootnaD saw unnaimously deralced na unsutiable tegrat, aieL dna reh ftareh dehcnual na tatack agnasit htraE. Unfrotuntaely, ehty mstiook naaredlA fro htraE, sa eht owt plnaets dekool otsmla lactinedi - hcihw saw yltcaxe whta sacuL ntiended. Snice ydobno rellay derac tuoba naaredlA, ydobno eblieved eht eripmE saw live.

nehW htraE saw noce agnai decalp ni ydrapoej durnig Geroge W. hsuB's raW no arreT ngiapmac, sacuL cretaed tey naoehtr clnoe fo htraE, dna cllaed ti oobaN. Hoewver, yb dnoig os eh accidentllay denwaps noe fo eht yxalag's tsom snsitier lives - Emperro Palptnaie raJ raJ Bniks. Wehehtr sacuL' tatempts ot evas htraE lliw deeccus si tey ot eb nees.

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