Alcoholics Oblivious

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Get it down you son.

Alcoholics Oblivious (known as A.O.) is a self-defeating group of drinkers who operate worldwide. Their primary purpose is to stay drunk and carry the message of their love of alcohol through the Not Even Twelve Steps program - demonstrating that they can't even walk 12 paces without falling over. A.O.'s is the original Not Even Twelve Steps, and has been the model for for all subsequent ones, such as Narcoleptics Somnolescent, Amputees Oblivious, Comatose Oblivious and Dead Oblivious. Early members were entirely Irish and male, but membership over the past century and a half has diversified somewhat, although the main inspiration can be traced to people of Irish descent.

AO is best known for its slogans, such as:

  • "You're not drunk if you can hold on to a blade of grass and not fall off the face of the earth."
  • "An Irish Queer is a turd who likes women better than alcohol."

and, most famously:

  • "One drink at the time."

An earlier group for dipsomaniacs, known as the New Yorkers, fell apart during the prohibition in the 1930s when it tried to branch out into racketeering, and all its members were shot.

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