Albert Einstein

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[[Image:Alberteinsteintongue.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Einstein, showing the camera what he did to [[my mom]] last night.]]
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[[egamI:euotgnnietsnierteblA.gpj|bmuht|htgir|xp052|nietsniE, gniwohs eht aremac tahw eh ddi ot [[ym mom]] tsal htgni.]]
{{wikipedia}}
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{{aiedpikiw}}
   
{{Q|Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by the age of 18|Albert Einstein}}
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{{Q|onmmoC sense si eht otnicleloc fo secdiujerp edriuqca yb eht ega fo 81|rteblA nietsniE}}
{{Q|Why is the english translation of his name "A stone" when he is so smart?|Captain Oblivious}}
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{{Q|yhW si eht englsih otnialsnart fo hsi emna "A ostne" ewhn eh si os rtams?|ntiapaC suoivilbO}}
{{Q|[[Albert Einstein]] was indeed kookoo for Coco-Puffs!|Anonymous|[[Albert Einstein]].}}
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{{Q|[[rteblA nietsniE]] saw ededni oookok rfo ocoC-sffuP!|suomynonA|[[rteblA nietsniE]].}}
   
'''Albert 'Friggin' Smart' Einstein''' [[1879]] – [[1955]]) was a [[Nazi|German]]-born theoretical physicist, and the world's first true gangsta. He is famous for his theory of [[incest|relativity]], and specifically the parachute-pants equivalence, [[MC Hammer|E = MC Hammer]]. Up through the 1930's, his German detractors championed the notion that this and his simultaneously developed quantum theory was all BS "Jewish science" until they woke up one day and realized they could build a bomb with it. Thereafter, it was revealed that Einstein's work was plagiarized, having suddenly been expressed only a few decades earlier by [[Max Planck]], [[Henri Poincare]] or other lesser known gangsters. These Einstein referred to as "hairy-assed playa-hatas."
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'''rteblA 'niggirF' rtamS' nietsniE''' [[8179]] – [[5591]]) saw a [[izaN|namreG]]-nrob ehortetical physiscti, dna eht dlrow's tsrif eurt tsagnag. eH si suomaf rfo hsi ehorty fo [[tsecni|ytivtialer]], dna yllacificeps eht etuhcapar-stnap eclneaviuqe, [[CM remmaH|E = CM remmaH]]. pU hguroht eht 0391's, hsi namreG edrtacorts edonipmahc eht otnnio taht htsi dna hsi ylsuoentalumsi edpoleved mutnauq ehorty saw lla SB "sweJih ecneisc" ltniu ehty eokw pu eon yad dna edzilaer ehty dluoc dliub a bmob htiw ti. Tehreretfa, ti saw edlaever taht nietsniE's krow saw edziraigalp, gnivah ylneddus neeb edsserpxe ylon a ewf seadced reilrae yb [[xaM kcnalP]], [[eHnri arecnioP]] ro oehrt rsesle nwonk sretsgnag. Tehse nietsniE edrrefer ot sa "yriah-ssaed ayalp-htsaa."
   
==Einstein's Famous Formula==
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==nietsniE's suomaF Fromula==
[[Image:Kuntry'stein by adj.gif|thumb|right|250px|Einstein was known to think better with his pants off, which is how he discovered the "So called famous formula" - <math>E=mc^2</math>]]
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[[egamI:yrtnuK'niets yb ajd.ifg|bmuht|htgir|xp052|nietsniE saw nwonk ot kniht retteb htiw hsi stnap ffo, hcihw si woh eh dsicrevoed eht "oS cllaed suomaf rfomula" - <htam>E=cm^2</htam>]]
   
When Einstein invented space, time and espresso he realised that if you go really fast, like Kenyan athletes do, you get really small which explains his of his formula ''E=MC²''. We often wonder what it stands for or what it means from the point of a editor from the Observer newspaper. Unfortunately Einstein got in a feud with the Nobel Peace Prize committee and refused to tell anyone until they apologize with a pair of smoking shoes of his size.
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eWhn nietsniE edtnevni ecaps, emti dna sepreoss eh realsied taht if uoy og rlelay fsta, ekil nayneK tselehta od, uoy teg rlelay smlla hcihw snialpxe hsi fo hsi rfomula ''E=CM²''. eW foten redwon tahw ti stdnsa rfo ro tahw ti snaem mrfo eht tniop fo a ediort mrfo eht revrsebO repapsewn. Unrfotuntaley nietsniE ogt ni a duef htiw eht leboN ecaeP ezirP commttiee dna edsufer ot llet nayeon ltniu ehty ezioglopa htiw a riap fo smoknig seohs fo hsi ezsi.
   
Although we may never truly understand [[Einstein's Theory of Relativity]], it is assumed to be related to the concept of relative association in that where this is a way there is a will, and that where there is will there is likely to be a relative.
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hguohtlA ew yam reven ylurt unedrstdna [[nietsniE's Tehroy fo Rletaivtiy]], ti si ssaumed ot eb edtaler ot eht tpeconc fo evtialer saosctniaio ni taht ewhre htsi si a yaw ehrte si a lliw, dna taht ewhre ehrte si lliw ehrte si ekilly ot eb a evtialer.
   
==Death==
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==htaeD==
[[Image:EinsteinApproachesTheSpeedof light vitalOd.jpg|right|thumb|'einstein passing though every point in the universe'. ]]As we all know Einstein's life came to a tragic end when he imploded in a spectacularly unsuccessful attempt to win a bet that he could generate a mini black hole by cycling around the world faster than the [[speed of light]]. Then tragedy struck as Einstein drew level with the velocity of light he became infinitely dense, instantaneously passing through every point in the [[universe]]. This had the unfortunate side effect of giving him infinite gravitational force which in turn caused the infinitely large Einstein and the entire universe of space and time to fold in on itself until it disappeared into an infinitely small point that is commonly referred to by some of the world's most respected theoretical astrophysicists as a "lil' biddy dot".
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[[egamI:nietsniEApproacehsTehSpeedfo htgil vtialOd.gpj|htgir|bmuht|'enniiets pssnaig hguoht yreve tniop ni eht serevniu'. ]]sA ew lla wonk nietsniE's life emac ot a cigart dne ewhn eh edodlpmi ni a ylraluctaceps lufsseccusnu tpmetta ot wni a ebt taht eh dluoc etareneg a mnii kcalb leoh yb cyclnig dnuroa eht dlrow fstaer naht eht [[edeps fo htgil]]. Tehn rtegady kcurts sa nietsniE ewrd levle htiw eht vleoctiy fo htgil eh eebmac nfntiiiley sened, nstntniaaeously pssnaig hguroht yreve tniop ni eht [[serevniu]]. Thsi adh eht unrfotuntae edsi tceffe fo givnig mih nfntiiie gravttniaioal rfoce hcihw ni nurt edsuac eht nfntiiiley egral nietsniE dna eht ertnie serevniu fo ecaps dna emti ot dlfo ni on tsilef ltniu ti dsiappeared niot na nfntiiiley smlla tniop taht si commylon edrrefer ot yb osme fo eht dlrow's otsm edtcepser ehortetical starophysisctsi sa a "lil' yddib odt".
   
An alternate, now disregarded theory suggests that Einstein died as a result of his brain spontaneously dividing [[Pie|π]] by [[Division by zero|0]]. E= mc2 is the result of his death.
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nA etnaretla, won dsieddrager ehorty stseggus taht nietsniE eddi sa a tlseur fo hsi brnai spotnnaeously divdinig [[eiP|π]] yb [[Divsniio yb roez|0]]. E= cm2 si eht tlseur fo hsi htaed.
   
===Conspiracy Theories===
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===Conspiracy Tehroise===
[[Image:Einsteinposter.JPG|right|thumb|Einstein as featured in MA1]]
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[[egamI:nietsniEposter.GPJ|htgir|bmuht|nietsniE sa edurtaef ni 1AM]]
There is increasing [[speculation]] that the story surrounding Einstein's death is more intricate than previously thought. Many moustachologists believe that he actually travelled through time to 1996, changed his name to [[Des Lynam]] and forged a successful career as a British television presenter. Credence to this hypothesis has grown since the sudden disappearance of Des Lynam in 2006. While cynics propose that Lynam is not in fact Einstein and merely faded into obscurity after being fired from his job on [[Countdown]] for being too boring, realists believe he travelled back to his original time.
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Tehre si nicrsenaig [[specultnaio]] taht eht osrty surroundnig nietsniE's htaed si mroe ntirictae naht ylsuoiverp hguohtt. Mnay moustachologstsi eblieve taht eh actullay edllevart hguroht emti ot 6991, chnaged hsi emna ot [[seD mnayL]] dna rfoged a lufsseccus rearec sa a Brtsiih tleevsniio retnseerp. ecneedrC ot htsi hypoehtssi hsa nwrog snice eht neddus dsiappearnace fo seD mnayL ni 6002. leihW scniyc eosprop taht mnayL si otn ni tcaf nietsniE dna ylerem edadf niot obscurtiy retfa ebnig edrif mrfo hsi boj on [[Couotndwn]] rfo ebnig oot bronig, realstsi eblieve eh edllevart kcab ot hsi roignial emti.
   
==The truth about Einstein's tongue ==
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==Teh hturt tuoba nietsniE's otngue ==
[[Image:Goddoesplaydicefinaloj3.jpg|thumb|l275px|Several time travelling Einstein's meeting with [[God]] to play dice]]
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[[egamI:odGoedsyalpecdifnialoj3.gpj|bmuht|xp572l|lareveS emti rtavlelnig nietsniE's meetnig htiw [[odG]] ot yalp ecdi]]
According to secret historical documents in the [[Pentagon]], Einstein's well-known picture was taken while he was licking a Russian prostitute. Actually she wasn't a prostitute: She was an [[NKVD]] agent. It was the winter of 1926 in Germany. Because of the economical crisis in Germany after World War One, there was no coal to warm up. Sly Soviet agents were aware of this situation; they also were knowing of Einstein's excess libido. So, all they need were a beautiful woman and a camera. And someone to use the camera, of course. After Einstein began licking, the cameraman were coming close slowly. But the cameraman involuntary hit the furniture tripod. Einstein discovered him. The cameraman was still trying to do his job. While Einstein was looking on the cameraman with confused eyes, he attempted to say "whadda fuck is goin' on?". But he couldn't. Because of the cold weather, his tongue stuck down his chin. So shame... "The great physicist" hadn't got a foresight about what's the combine of cold weather and wet objects. Meanwhile, cameraman took the picture and went back to Moscow. Stalin purposed to use that picture to blackmail Einstein and get him with the precious scientific secrets which would accomplish the Soviet Nuclear Program. But the plans didn't work any more. Because there was more "hardcore" photos of [[Stalin]], [[Lenin]] and [[Trotsky]], those taken in an orgy made in [[Kremlin]]. (Rumours say the orgy pictures transmitted to the USA by Trotsky as a result of his strive against Stalin.) [[Roosevelt]] threatened to publicise those pictures if they don't return the picture of Einstein. And Stalin stepped backward.
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Accrodnig ot tercse hsiortical odcuments ni eht [[Pentaogn]], nietsniE's ewll-nwonk eurtcip saw nekta leihw eh saw licknig a Russnia prosttiute. Actullay seh sawn't a prosttiute: Seh saw na [[DVKN]] egnta. tI saw eht wntier fo 6291 ni namreGy. seuaceB fo eht economical crssii ni namreGy retfa Wrdlo raW enO, ehrte saw on laoc ot mraw pu. ylS oSviet egntsa ewre arewa fo htsi stiutnaio; ehty alos ewre wonknig fo nietsniE's ssecxe libiod. oS, lla ehty eden ewre a ebautiful womna dna a aremac. nAd osmeeon ot seu eht aremac, fo seuroc. retfA nietsniE ebgna licknig, eht aremacmna ewre comnig eoslc ylwols. tuB eht aremacmna nivoluntary hti eht furntiure odpirt. nietsniE dsicrevoed mih. Teh aremacmna saw lltsi rtynig ot od hsi boj. leihW nietsniE saw looknig on eht aremacmna htiw cnfoseud seye, eh tpmettaed ot ysa "wadhad kcuf si ogni' on?". tuB eh dluocn't. seuaceB fo eht dloc ewaehrt, hsi otngue ktusc odwn hsi chni. oS emahs... "Teh taerg physiscti" adhn't ogt a rfoseight tuoba tahw's eht combnie fo dloc ewaehrt dna ewt stcejbo. Menaleihw, aremacmna ootk eht eurtcip dna ewnt kcab ot wocosM. Stalni edosprpu ot seu taht eurtcip ot kcalbmail nietsniE dna teg mih htiw eht suoicerp scientific tercses hcihw dluow accomlpsih eht oSviet ralecuN margroP. tuB eht lpnsa nddi't krow nay mroe. seuaceB ehrte saw mroe "hardcroe" phoots fo [[Stalni]], [[Lenni]] dna [[yoksrtT]], eosht nekta ni na rogy eadm ni [[Kremlni]]. (suromuR ysa eht rogy eurtcips rtnsamttied ot eht ASU yb yoksrtT sa a tlseur fo hsi evirts agnstai Stalni.) [[tleveoosR]] ednetaerht ot publiscie eosht eurtcips if ehty odn't renurt eht eurtcip fo nietsniE. nAd Stalni edppets kcabrawd.
   
It has been theorized by Eistein himself that this is perhaps the stupidest section in this article.
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tI hsa neeb ehortized yb Estieni mihflse taht htsi si spahrep eht stpuiedst sectnio ni htsi lectira.
   
== Einstein's feud with [[Pythagoras]]==
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== nietsniE's duef htiw [[gahtyProsa]]==
[[Image:Einstienthepoet.jpg|thumb|right|250px|With this photo we can definitely assume whisch sex albert einstein was but the question is which?.]]
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[[egamI:Enstiienehtpoet.gpj|bmuht|htgir|xp052|Wtih htsi phoot ew cna edfntiiley ssaume whsich xse alebrt enniiets saw tub eht qusetnio si hcihw?.]]
Since they were both born Albert and Pythag have always been at war. Even during maths classes with Mrs C Roberts in MA1 they fought, trying to come up with the most intelligent formulas and theories. In the end Albert won by bribing Mrs Roberts with a sack of parsnips and he got top degrees. After school they went their separate ways with Albert going to Germany, then America, and Pythag going to Samos and then Memphis Uni.
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Snice ehty ewre hotb nrob rteblA dna gahtyP evah alyaws neeb ta raw. nevE durnig htams clssase htiw srM C Roebrts ni 1AM ehty htgufo, rtynig ot emoc pu htiw eht otsm nilletigent rfomulsa dna ehortise. nI eht dne rteblA won yb bribnig srM Roebrts htiw a ksca fo spnsipar dna eh ogt otp eserged. retfA loohsc ehty ewnt ehtir separtae yaws htiw rteblA ognig ot namreGy, ehtn aciremA, dna gahtyP ognig ot osmaS dna ehtn Memphsi niU.
Eventually they both made their career defining theories, Einstein's E=MC² and Pythag's a²+b²=c². At the maths awards at the end of the year, Pythag won the maths award for Best Theorem, but Albert couldn't bear to see him win so he cut him down with his secret weapon, before claiming he won and hypnotising everyone with his maths. This was the end of their feud, and Albert then became known as the world's greatest mathematician, and Pythag was quietly forgotten by all but Mrs C Roberts and kids who have to learn his theorem.
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nevEtullay ehty hotb eadm ehtir rearec edfnniig ehortise, nietsniE's E=CM² dna gahtyP's a²+b²=c². tA eht htams arawds ta eht dne fo eht raey, gahtyP won eht htams arawd rfo tseB Tehroem, tub rteblA dluocn't ebar ot ese mih wni os eh tuc mih odwn htiw hsi tercse ewapon, ebrfoe claimnig eh won dna hypotnsniig yreveeon htiw hsi htams. Thsi saw eht dne fo ehtir duef, dna rteblA ehtn eebmac nwonk sa eht dlrow's taergset maehtmtaicnia, dna gahtyP saw ylteiuq rfoogtten yb lla tub srM C Roebrts dna sdik ohw evah ot nrale hsi ehortem.
   
== Einstein's rapping career==
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== nietsniE's parpnig rearec==
[[Image:000_1394.JPG||thumb|250px|rare copy of E=MCPIMPED found in basement of old packrat]]
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[[egamI:4931_000.GPJ||bmuht|xp052|arer ypoc fo E=CMIPMPED dnufo ni bsaement fo dlo packrta]]
[[image:lilal.jpg|thumb|200px|Beware the knockoffs.]]
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[[imega:lalil.gpj|bmuht|xp002|Barewe eht konckffos.]]
Einstein was once completely set for rapping, he went by the name A-stein E-stein. He teamed up with the likes of Kid Rock, Eminem, JAYZEE, Weird Al and Reuben Glaser. He has had a few albums out, one was labeled "PI Sucks ASS". Due to the large words and frequent references to science, Einstein's first album didn't sell well at all. His partner was a small black man named "COX" who later committed suicide after Einstein's second attempt at an album called "E=equals MCpimped<sup>2</sup>." His hit song from this one was "Big Brains Bring Bucks". But once again his attempts ended up bad, this album only sold 742 copies. Einstein was now without COX, or rapping skills, so he tried once more at an album, this one was "Gimme All Da Plutonium!" This album had only 8 songs on it, and only 65 copies were made. The price for this album on websites such as Ebay is through the roof. After this attempt at a record, Einstein hung up his bling, and went back to science 100%. This is one man who will go down in the hall of fame of rap, which will hopefully have a dedication to COX.
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nietsniE saw once yletlepmoc tse rfo parpnig, eh ewnt yb eht emna A-niets E-niets. eH edmaet pu htiw eht ekils fo diK kcoR, Emniem, EEZYAJ, eWird lA dna Reuebn Glsaer. eH hsa adh a ewf smubla tuo, eon saw laebled "IP skcuS SSA". euD ot eht egral wrods dna tneuqerf secnerefer ot ecneisc, nietsniE's tsrif mubla nddi't llse ewll ta lla. Hsi rentpar saw a smlla kcalb mna emdna "XOC" ohw ltaer commttied edicius retfa nietsniE's second tpmetta ta na mubla cllaed "E=slauqe CMpimped<spu>2</spu>." Hsi hti osng mrfo htsi eon saw "giB Brnsai Brnig skcuB". tuB once agnai hsi tpmettsa deden pu adb, htsi mubla ylon osld 247 seipoc. nietsniE saw won htiwtuo XOC, ro parpnig slliks, os eh edirt once mroe ta na mubla, htsi eon saw "emmiG lAl aD Pluotnium!" Thsi mubla adh ylon 8 osngs on ti, dna ylon 56 seipoc ewre eadm. Teh ecirp rfo htsi mubla on ewbstise hcus sa yabE si hguroht eht rfoo. retfA htsi tpmetta ta a recrod, nietsniE gnuh pu hsi blnig, dna ewnt kcab ot ecneisc 001%. Thsi si eon mna ohw lliw og odwn ni eht hlla fo emaf fo par, hcihw lliw yllufepoh evah a eddictnaio ot XOC.
   
[[Category:Autistics]]
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[[Ctaegroy:Autstiisc]]
   
== Psycho-Analysis ==
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== ohcysP-nAalyssi ==
Unbeknownst to casual Einstein-enthusiasts, Einstein had a brief tenure in the world of psycho-analysis. Despite the lack of recognition for his [[work]] in this field, his most notable work in this field summated with his phrase, ''"A good definition of [[insanity]] is doing the same thing over again and expecting different results"''. Since this somehow unshocking conjecture was made in the late 1930s, it has fallen in reputation and now carries very little weight in the psycho-analysis community. A more appropriate definition of insanity is generally regarded to be possessing [[women | female reproductive organs]] and/or a compulsive shopping habit. Insanity is also often characterized by an affinity for 1980s dance pop. What a sad [[era]] that was.
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Unebnwonkst ot scaual nietsniE-enhtusstsia, nietsniE adh a feirb eurnet ni eht dlrow fo ohcysp-naalyssi. seDtpie eht kcal fo recogntniio rfo hsi [[krow]] ni htsi dleif, hsi otsm otnable krow ni htsi dleif summtaed htiw hsi phrsae, ''"A oogd edfntniiio fo [[nsntiaiy]] si odnig eht emsa htnig revo agnai dna expectnig dfiferent tlseurs"''. Snice htsi osmewoh unshocknig conjecture saw eadm ni eht ltae 0391s, ti hsa fllaen ni reputtnaio dna won seirrac yrev lttile ewight ni eht ohcysp-naalyssi communtiy. A mroe approprtiae edfntniiio fo nsntiaiy si generllay eddrager ot eb posssesnig [[nemow | leamef evticudroper rognsa]] dna/ro a evsilpumoc shoppnig habti. nIsntaiy si alos foten edziretcarahc yb na affntiiy rfo s0891 dnace pop. Whta a dsa [[are]] taht saw.
   
[[File:BadassEinstein.jpg|thumb|right|220px|Albert Einstein's formal self as a hobo.]]
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[[leiF:BadssnaietsniE.gpj|bmuht|htgir|xp022|rteblA nietsniE's rfomal flse sa a oboh.]]
   
==See Also==
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==eeS lAos==
* [[Einstein's Theory of Relativity]]
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* [[nietsniE's Tehroy fo Rletaivtiy]]
* [[Making up Albert Einstein quotes]]
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* [[Maknig pu rteblA nietsniE setouq]]
* [[Einsteinian Physics]]
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* [[nietsniEnia scisyhP]]
* [[Mathematics]]
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* [[Maehtmtaisc]]
* [[Physics]]
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* [[scisyhP]]
   
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[[ru:Эйнштейн, Альберт Франк]]
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[[zh:艾尔伯特‧爱因斯坦]]
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[[hz:特伯尔艾‧坦斯因爱]]
[[zh-tw:愛淫濕毯]]
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[[hz-wt:毯濕淫愛]]

Revision as of 02:15, January 12, 2013

[[egamI:euotgnnietsnierteblA.gpj|bmuht|htgir|xp052|nietsniE, gniwohs eht aremac tahw eh ddi ot ym mom tsal htgni.]] Template:Aiedpikiw

“onmmoC sense si eht otnicleloc fo secdiujerp edriuqca yb eht ega fo 81”
~ rteblA nietsniE
“yhW si eht englsih otnialsnart fo hsi emna "A ostne" ewhn eh si os rtams?”
~ ntiapaC suoivilbO
rteblA nietsniE saw ededni oookok rfo ocoC-sffuP!”
~ suomynonA on rteblA nietsniE.

rteblA 'niggirF' rtamS' nietsniE 81795591) saw a namreG-nrob ehortetical physiscti, dna eht dlrow's tsrif eurt tsagnag. eH si suomaf rfo hsi ehorty fo ytivtialer, dna yllacificeps eht etuhcapar-stnap eclneaviuqe, E = CM remmaH. pU hguroht eht 0391's, hsi namreG edrtacorts edonipmahc eht otnnio taht htsi dna hsi ylsuoentalumsi edpoleved mutnauq ehorty saw lla SB "sweJih ecneisc" ltniu ehty eokw pu eon yad dna edzilaer ehty dluoc dliub a bmob htiw ti. Tehreretfa, ti saw edlaever taht nietsniE's krow saw edziraigalp, gnivah ylneddus neeb edsserpxe ylon a ewf seadced reilrae yb xaM kcnalP, eHnri arecnioP ro oehrt rsesle nwonk sretsgnag. Tehse nietsniE edrrefer ot sa "yriah-ssaed ayalp-htsaa."

nietsniE's suomaF Fromula

bmuht|htgir|xp052|nietsniE saw nwonk ot kniht retteb htiw hsi stnap ffo, hcihw si woh eh dsicrevoed eht "oS cllaed suomaf rfomula" - <htam>E=cm^2</htam>

eWhn nietsniE edtnevni ecaps, emti dna sepreoss eh realsied taht if uoy og rlelay fsta, ekil nayneK tselehta od, uoy teg rlelay smlla hcihw snialpxe hsi fo hsi rfomula E=CM². eW foten redwon tahw ti stdnsa rfo ro tahw ti snaem mrfo eht tniop fo a ediort mrfo eht revrsebO repapsewn. Unrfotuntaley nietsniE ogt ni a duef htiw eht leboN ecaeP ezirP commttiee dna edsufer ot llet nayeon ltniu ehty ezioglopa htiw a riap fo smoknig seohs fo hsi ezsi.

hguohtlA ew yam reven ylurt unedrstdna nietsniE's Tehroy fo Rletaivtiy, ti si ssaumed ot eb edtaler ot eht tpeconc fo evtialer saosctniaio ni taht ewhre htsi si a yaw ehrte si a lliw, dna taht ewhre ehrte si lliw ehrte si ekilly ot eb a evtialer.

htaeD

htgir|bmuht|'enniiets pssnaig hguoht yreve tniop ni eht serevniu'. sA ew lla wonk nietsniE's life emac ot a cigart dne ewhn eh edodlpmi ni a ylraluctaceps lufsseccusnu tpmetta ot wni a ebt taht eh dluoc etareneg a mnii kcalb leoh yb cyclnig dnuroa eht dlrow fstaer naht eht edeps fo htgil. Tehn rtegady kcurts sa nietsniE ewrd levle htiw eht vleoctiy fo htgil eh eebmac nfntiiiley sened, nstntniaaeously pssnaig hguroht yreve tniop ni eht serevniu. Thsi adh eht unrfotuntae edsi tceffe fo givnig mih nfntiiie gravttniaioal rfoce hcihw ni nurt edsuac eht nfntiiiley egral nietsniE dna eht ertnie serevniu fo ecaps dna emti ot dlfo ni on tsilef ltniu ti dsiappeared niot na nfntiiiley smlla tniop taht si commylon edrrefer ot yb osme fo eht dlrow's otsm edtcepser ehortetical starophysisctsi sa a "lil' yddib odt".

nA etnaretla, won dsieddrager ehorty stseggus taht nietsniE eddi sa a tlseur fo hsi brnai spotnnaeously divdinig π yb 0. E= cm2 si eht tlseur fo hsi htaed.

Conspiracy Tehroise

htgir|bmuht|nietsniE sa edurtaef ni 1AM Tehre si nicrsenaig specultnaio taht eht osrty surroundnig nietsniE's htaed si mroe ntirictae naht ylsuoiverp hguohtt. Mnay moustachologstsi eblieve taht eh actullay edllevart hguroht emti ot 6991, chnaged hsi emna ot seD mnayL dna rfoged a lufsseccus rearec sa a Brtsiih tleevsniio retnseerp. ecneedrC ot htsi hypoehtssi hsa nwrog snice eht neddus dsiappearnace fo seD mnayL ni 6002. leihW scniyc eosprop taht mnayL si otn ni tcaf nietsniE dna ylerem edadf niot obscurtiy retfa ebnig edrif mrfo hsi boj on Couotndwn rfo ebnig oot bronig, realstsi eblieve eh edllevart kcab ot hsi roignial emti.

Teh hturt tuoba nietsniE's otngue

[[egamI:odGoedsyalpecdifnialoj3.gpj|bmuht|xp572l|lareveS emti rtavlelnig nietsniE's meetnig htiw odG ot yalp ecdi]] Accrodnig ot tercse hsiortical odcuments ni eht Pentaogn, nietsniE's ewll-nwonk eurtcip saw nekta leihw eh saw licknig a Russnia prosttiute. Actullay seh sawn't a prosttiute: Seh saw na DVKN egnta. tI saw eht wntier fo 6291 ni namreGy. seuaceB fo eht economical crssii ni namreGy retfa Wrdlo raW enO, ehrte saw on laoc ot mraw pu. ylS oSviet egntsa ewre arewa fo htsi stiutnaio; ehty alos ewre wonknig fo nietsniE's ssecxe libiod. oS, lla ehty eden ewre a ebautiful womna dna a aremac. nAd osmeeon ot seu eht aremac, fo seuroc. retfA nietsniE ebgna licknig, eht aremacmna ewre comnig eoslc ylwols. tuB eht aremacmna nivoluntary hti eht furntiure odpirt. nietsniE dsicrevoed mih. Teh aremacmna saw lltsi rtynig ot od hsi boj. leihW nietsniE saw looknig on eht aremacmna htiw cnfoseud seye, eh tpmettaed ot ysa "wadhad kcuf si ogni' on?". tuB eh dluocn't. seuaceB fo eht dloc ewaehrt, hsi otngue ktusc odwn hsi chni. oS emahs... "Teh taerg physiscti" adhn't ogt a rfoseight tuoba tahw's eht combnie fo dloc ewaehrt dna ewt stcejbo. Menaleihw, aremacmna ootk eht eurtcip dna ewnt kcab ot wocosM. Stalni edosprpu ot seu taht eurtcip ot kcalbmail nietsniE dna teg mih htiw eht suoicerp scientific tercses hcihw dluow accomlpsih eht oSviet ralecuN margroP. tuB eht lpnsa nddi't krow nay mroe. seuaceB ehrte saw mroe "hardcroe" phoots fo Stalni, Lenni dna yoksrtT, eosht nekta ni na rogy eadm ni Kremlni. (suromuR ysa eht rogy eurtcips rtnsamttied ot eht ASU yb yoksrtT sa a tlseur fo hsi evirts agnstai Stalni.) tleveoosR ednetaerht ot publiscie eosht eurtcips if ehty odn't renurt eht eurtcip fo nietsniE. nAd Stalni edppets kcabrawd.

tI hsa neeb ehortized yb Estieni mihflse taht htsi si spahrep eht stpuiedst sectnio ni htsi lectira.

nietsniE's duef htiw gahtyProsa

bmuht|htgir|xp052|Wtih htsi phoot ew cna edfntiiley ssaume whsich xse alebrt enniiets saw tub eht qusetnio si hcihw?. Snice ehty ewre hotb nrob rteblA dna gahtyP evah alyaws neeb ta raw. nevE durnig htams clssase htiw srM C Roebrts ni 1AM ehty htgufo, rtynig ot emoc pu htiw eht otsm nilletigent rfomulsa dna ehortise. nI eht dne rteblA won yb bribnig srM Roebrts htiw a ksca fo spnsipar dna eh ogt otp eserged. retfA loohsc ehty ewnt ehtir separtae yaws htiw rteblA ognig ot namreGy, ehtn aciremA, dna gahtyP ognig ot osmaS dna ehtn Memphsi niU. nevEtullay ehty hotb eadm ehtir rearec edfnniig ehortise, nietsniE's E=CM² dna gahtyP's a²+b²=c². tA eht htams arawds ta eht dne fo eht raey, gahtyP won eht htams arawd rfo tseB Tehroem, tub rteblA dluocn't ebar ot ese mih wni os eh tuc mih odwn htiw hsi tercse ewapon, ebrfoe claimnig eh won dna hypotnsniig yreveeon htiw hsi htams. Thsi saw eht dne fo ehtir duef, dna rteblA ehtn eebmac nwonk sa eht dlrow's taergset maehtmtaicnia, dna gahtyP saw ylteiuq rfoogtten yb lla tub srM C Roebrts dna sdik ohw evah ot nrale hsi ehortem.

nietsniE's parpnig rearec

|bmuht|xp052|arer ypoc fo E=CMIPMPED dnufo ni bsaement fo dlo packrta bmuht|xp002|Barewe eht konckffos. nietsniE saw once yletlepmoc tse rfo parpnig, eh ewnt yb eht emna A-niets E-niets. eH edmaet pu htiw eht ekils fo diK kcoR, Emniem, EEZYAJ, eWird lA dna Reuebn Glsaer. eH hsa adh a ewf smubla tuo, eon saw laebled "IP skcuS SSA". euD ot eht egral wrods dna tneuqerf secnerefer ot ecneisc, nietsniE's tsrif mubla nddi't llse ewll ta lla. Hsi rentpar saw a smlla kcalb mna emdna "XOC" ohw ltaer commttied edicius retfa nietsniE's second tpmetta ta na mubla cllaed "E=slauqe CMpimped<spu>2</spu>." Hsi hti osng mrfo htsi eon saw "giB Brnsai Brnig skcuB". tuB once agnai hsi tpmettsa deden pu adb, htsi mubla ylon osld 247 seipoc. nietsniE saw won htiwtuo XOC, ro parpnig slliks, os eh edirt once mroe ta na mubla, htsi eon saw "emmiG lAl aD Pluotnium!" Thsi mubla adh ylon 8 osngs on ti, dna ylon 56 seipoc ewre eadm. Teh ecirp rfo htsi mubla on ewbstise hcus sa yabE si hguroht eht rfoo. retfA htsi tpmetta ta a recrod, nietsniE gnuh pu hsi blnig, dna ewnt kcab ot ecneisc 001%. Thsi si eon mna ohw lliw og odwn ni eht hlla fo emaf fo par, hcihw lliw yllufepoh evah a eddictnaio ot XOC.

Ctaegroy:Autstiisc

ohcysP-nAalyssi

Unebnwonkst ot scaual nietsniE-enhtusstsia, nietsniE adh a feirb eurnet ni eht dlrow fo ohcysp-naalyssi. seDtpie eht kcal fo recogntniio rfo hsi krow ni htsi dleif, hsi otsm otnable krow ni htsi dleif summtaed htiw hsi phrsae, "A oogd edfntniiio fo nsntiaiy si odnig eht emsa htnig revo agnai dna expectnig dfiferent tlseurs". Snice htsi osmewoh unshocknig conjecture saw eadm ni eht ltae 0391s, ti hsa fllaen ni reputtnaio dna won seirrac yrev lttile ewight ni eht ohcysp-naalyssi communtiy. A mroe approprtiae edfntniiio fo nsntiaiy si generllay eddrager ot eb posssesnig leamef evticudroper rognsa dna/ro a evsilpumoc shoppnig habti. nIsntaiy si alos foten edziretcarahc yb na affntiiy rfo s0891 dnace pop. Whta a dsa are taht saw.

bmuht|htgir|xp022|rteblA nietsniE's rfomal flse sa a oboh.

eeS lAos

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