Al Gore

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{| {| style="margin: 0.5em auto; background: #FFF; border: 2px solid #666; font-size: 95%; text-align: center;"
| name=Al Gore
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| rowspan="2" | [[Image:Conservlogo.png|100px]]
| nationality=[[Tennessee]]ian
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| <big><big>This article on al-Gore is a preview of [[Conservapedia]].</big></big><br> in association with [[Fox News]].
| image name=Al Gore.jpg
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|}
| order=46rd President
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{{Infobox President
| date1=November 2nd [[2000]]
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| name=تنورة مكسرة
| date2=November 5th [[2000]]
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| nationality=[[Saudi Arabia|Saudi]] [[United States|American]]
| preceded=[[Bill Clinton|The Douche]]
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| image name=Gore9.jpg
| succeeded=[[George W. Bush|Emperor Bush]]
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| order=41.5 President
| date of birth=[[6/6/60]]
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| date1=January 31, [[2001]]
| place of birth=[[Hell]] (Where he learned all about [[Global warming|warming]])
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| date2=[[September 11, 2001]]
| date of death= Still alive
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| preceded=[[Bill Clinton|His Holiness King William IV of America]]
| place of death= [[Over there]]
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| succeeded=[[George W. Bush|George "Wonderful" Bush]]
| wife=[["The Tipper" Gore]]
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| date of birth=March 31, 1948
| party=[[Democrat|Sore Losers]]
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| place of birth=Damman, [[Saudi Arabia]]
| vicepresident=[[Joseph Lieberman|I forget]]
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| wife=''n/a''
| notable stuff=[[Nobel prize in MANBEARPIG prevention, claimed "Creation" of Internet instead of MIT students]]
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| party=[[Al Qaeda]]
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| dead=alive
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| vicepresident=[[Osama bin Laden]]
 
}}
 
}}
   
{{Q|HAHAHAHAHAHA, I can't believe they actually bought this!|Al Gore|Global Warming}}
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'''al-Gore''' (Arabic: تنورة مكسرة), allegedly born on March 31, 1948 in Damman, [[Saudi Arabia]], is purported to be a prominent [[Muslim]] [[liberal]] spokesperson for and inventor of [[global warming]] and [[environmentalism]]. He is portrayed by the liberal media<ref>As though there were any other type of media</ref> as an author, a businessperson, former journalist, inventor of the algorithm, and recipient of a [[Nobel Prize|scientific prize]]. According to [[Wikipedia]],<ref>Another arm on the [[Shiva]] that is the liberal media</ref> he has served as [[United States]] [[Vice President]], [[Senator]], and Representative, and has also served as a [[military]] journalist during the [[Vietnam War]]. However, despite efforts by the [[liberal media]] to [[UnNews:I Was Abducted By Al Gore|prove otherwise]], there is no completely irrefutable evidence that al-Gore exists. <ref>See Lindzen, Dick - [[UnNews:I Am Not An Al Gore Denier - Richard "Dick" Lindzen|I Am Not An Al Gore Denier]]</ref><ref>On the off-chance that he does, it is logical to deduce that he is also a [http://www.conservapedia.com/Barack_Obama#Obama_is_likely_the_first_Muslim_President secret muslim]</ref> He is the current owner of the [[Anti-Americanism|anti-American]] [[terrorist]] television network [[Al Jazeera]].
{{Q|Congratulations to former Vice President Al Gore. He won the Nobel Peace Prize. ... And he did it without a single vote from Florida.|Jay Leno}}
 
   
'''Al "Al" Gore''' also known as "The Shadow", (the last name derived from the [[French]] word Gorre which means to lose at everything you do, in other words to be a chronic loser), was once just a spirit trapped within a silver lockbox. But he was released by Apple Computer Corporations in the year 1975. They tamed his blood thirsty spirit with the United States gold (which is why we now have nothing backing our money today). He is one of the founding members of the Biggest All Time National Losers Council, and also is a founding father of the free masons. He's the most famous "[[aspie]]" of them all.
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== Early life ==
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[[Image:Gore8.jpg|left|thumb|140px|An artist's rendition of al-Gore as he is supposed to have appeared sometime during his younger days.]]
   
Al Gore is also an alias to Dustin Brown:
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al-Gore was supposedly born to Albert and Pauline al-Gore on or around March 31, 1948 in Damman, [[Saudi Arabia]]. Accounts of his childhood are rife with inconsistencies, inaccuracies, and clear falsehoods. It is claimed he spent most of his [[youth]] working on a [[The Old Country|family farm]] in [[Tennessee]], which grew [[tobacco]] and raised cattle. However, conveniently these facts cannot be confirmed, as the lifespan of cattle has rendered any that al-Gore may have come into contact with in the 1950s to be currently [[You are dead|dead]], and all tobacco from that era was used in the [[cancer|Golden Age of Smoking]], the 1960s. al-Gore allegedly attended St. Albans School, where he participated in such painfully common and stereotypical activities as [[football]], student government, and discus throwing. The fact that these generic activities are attributed to al-Gore, particularly the high school stereotype of the jock discus-thrower, casts further doubt on the believability of his background.
Dustin Brown(formally known as Alonzo Reviera Valasques) is ‘the man who used to be the next President of the United States of America’. Also a famous stand up comedian, performing all day, everyday, he educated the masses on the dangers of Manbearpig (sometimes referred to as Global Warming because, like Manbearpig, ‘doesn't care who you are or what you've done. [Global Warming] simply wants to get you’). Today, he has retired to a simple life of world wide lectures, expensive lunches and dinners and Banana Phone growing.
 
   
It was predicted by Nostradomus that on [[October 12]], [[2010]], Al Gore will win the [[Nobel Peace Prize]] for simultaneously ending the war in [[Iraq]] and cooling the earth to -22.4 degrees [[Heat|Celsius]] with a single blast of liquid nitrogen stored within his robotic [[Ass|rectal]] cavity, known to scientists and [[Taco Bell]] patrons alike as "The [[Cheney]]." This supercooling of the earth will simultaneously kill 99% of all [[human beings]] and end the problem of [[global warming]] and overpopulation, which Gore had begun in 1856, prior to wedding [[Roger Federer]], who was not yet born. But we digress.
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al-Gore then apparently attended [[Harvard]], a [[university]] infamous for its erudite professors and their accompanying satanic values, which is curiously the only university to which he applied. The idea that anyone would apply only to [[Harvard]] is extremely suspect, and supports the theory that the liberal perpetrators of the al-Gore hoax are averse to filling out excessive paperwork such as multiple college entrance applications. After ostensibly graduating from university, al-Gore spent two years as a journalist stationed with the 20th Engineer Brigade. Curiously, he does not appear in a single one of the dozens of photographs he allegedly took during his service.
   
Al Gore ran for President with his frat buddy Joseph Lieberman after Lieberman offered him a big keg. They ran under the names Al Gory and Joe Bleederman. In other states, they ran as the Sore/Loserman ticket.
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It is then claimed by so-called "Gore Believers" that he returned from the war to engage in activities such as divinity school and night-time newspaper editor. These accounts contain clear fact manipulation, as both professions are widely known to be among the most unverifiable jobs<ref>This is a fact</ref>. al-Gore then apparently attended Vanderbilt Law School and his life began taking a political track since, as he is reported to have said, ''"I realized that while I could expose corruption, I could not change it."''<ref>This was likely due to his lack of existence.</ref>
   
His 2000 presidential election as the presumptive republican nominee went to hell in a hand basket when he LOST his home state of Tennessee and losing the general election despite getting more popular votes than his closest competitor, Pat Buchanan. Thus, he had to enroll into a mental institution financed by a gay Moldavian prostitution ring. Al Gore is now pursuing a project in which he can gain a [[New World Order|back door to political power]] by starting his own [[global warming|new weather control cult]] and at the same time, making it the state [[religion]] of the United States.
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== Political Career ==
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[[Image:Graph.JPG|thumb|right|An example of data manipulation in an attempt to support the idea that al-Gore exists.]]
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In 1976, al-Gore decided to run for a conveniently open seat in the Senate. Despite holding his own mid-term election and garnering only 31% of the votes, he won the office and began a decades-long "service" in the legislative branch.
   
==The Wild Years (1967-1985)==
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===Service in Congress===
[[Image:Al gore crazy fat kid.gif|left|thumb|"Listen to me..me!!!!" Al Gore if global warming gets any worse!]]
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For nearly seventeen years, al-Gore is supposed to have served the state of Tennessee in both the Senate and the House of Representatives. There are many inconsistencies and logical fallacies concerning this time in al-Gore's life, including his multi-house service. No other politician has ever served in ''both'' the House and Senate{{citation needed}}, yet very little fanfare surrounds al-Gore's accomplishment. Furthermore, computer voting records for al-Gore in both legislative bodies are virtually non-existent. Many claim that al-Gore's service occurred mostly in the 1980s when computer records were not kept for technical reasons, like computers costing hundreds of thousands of dollars. Despite claims of "experts" that al-Gore's voting records are available to the public and cries of ''"I have them right here! Look!,"'' many remain unconvinced of his congressional career.
[[Image:Stfu_algore.jpg|thumb|Al Gore is currently the richest person in the world, due to royalties on his "internet" patent.]]
 
   
Many [[Biologist|marine biologists]] who chronicle the life of Al Gore consider these years to be the most mundane years of Al Gore's life. In 1970, Al Gore started a rock band called [[Kansas]]. The band became famous after Al Gore bit the head off a wax model of [[Oscar Wilde]] during a show in [[Hell|Albuquerque]]. The ensuing bloodbath became known as the [[St. Valentine's Day Massacre]].
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===Vice Presidential Term===
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In 1992 al-Gore was quixotically chosen by [[Bill Clinton]] to be the Democratic Party's Vice Presidential nominee. Their ticket won both the 1992 and 1996 presidential elections, and the tandem served eight years in the [[White House]]. However, unlike his previous endeavors where there was at least some semblance of a record of his activities, he appears to have accomplished ''absolutely nothing'' as a Vice President. His wife, the decidedly existing Tipper al-Gore, has more on her resume from this period. It appears that skeptics of al-Gore are asked to believe that his sole duty was to cast the tie-breaking vote in the Senate, which conveniently did not happen during his tenure in office. Unlike other famous historical figures who held the Vice Presidency, such as Hannibal Hamlin, Garrett Hobart, and Alben Barkley<ref>Widely considered to be the greatest American of all time</ref>, al-Gore seems to have avoided attracting attention to himself despite holding the second-highest office in the country.
   
Shortly thereafter, he impregnated himself by becoming iron man and communing with nature in the infamous [[Hollywood]] hit, On Stagnant Pond.
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===Run for President===
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In the year 2000, in what may very well have been the largest liberal hoax ever perpetrated, al-Gore allegedly (possibly through the use of write-in ballots, though the lack of records from that era leaves this in dispute) ran for President Of The United States. Although he "won" the election by an "indisputable margin", he was "not allowed" to take office and the position was instead won by governor George W. Bush, of [[Texas]].<ref>The Democrats did not contest the decision, as Texas is not to be messed with</ref> Although history now proves that [[George W. Bush|President Bush Jr.]] was undoubtedly [[George W. Bush's Weekly Presidential Address: Week of January 25th, 2009|the wisest choice to lead our nation]], one shouldn't overlook the fact that the Supreme Court awarded the Presidential office to a man who "lost" the election. Why would they do this? Clearly this is further evidence that al-Gore does not exist.
   
On his birthday, Al Gore would choose 666 lucky children to be thrown into [[Hell]]. Al Gore has three monster trucks. Al Gore Also Invented The Chicken Dildo in
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== Environmentalism ==
2015.
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[[Image:RobinsonWhatWarmsTheEarth.gif|right|350px]]
[[Image:BUSH FINGER.jpg|right|thumb|george bush's policy on Al Gore]]
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{{seealso|Global Warming}}
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In [[2006]], the al-Gore character appeared in the film, ''[[An Inconvenient Truth]]''. In it, al-Gore is seen being driven around in a [[Hummer]] H2 while telling viewers that they should drive more expensive cars, using traditional liberal platitudes such as "hybrid" and "Carbon Dioxide." The film has been praised for its work in special effects, creating a near-perfect CGI al-Gore that appears throughout the film. In addition to this, the film makes many other claims, to include the idea that humans are directly responsible for global climate change, that humans should take drastic action in order to reduce their impact on the earth, that [[Gore Theory|Gore theory]] is a real and applicable theory, and that he exists.
   
==Life Of Al Gore==
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The film ignores all rebuttals against the arguments made in the film. It completely fails to mention that natural climate change occurs on other planets<ref>Probably because they are liberal elitists who believe that a movie about global warming on planets other than Earth would not sell.</ref> at the same rate as it does on Earth. Since al-Gore clearly does not exist on Mars,{{cn}} and therefore cannot be affecting climate change there, it can be deduced that he does not exist on Earth, either, and does not affect climate change.<ref>See [http://www.conservapedia.com/Global_warming#Natural_Climate_Change_on_Other_Planets Global Warming]</ref>
Used to be an ape and loved to eat bananas. In fact, his original name was Alberto Gorilla but he decided to change it after too much controversy, and an infamous [[groping]] incident. After being defeated by famous monkey gunslinger [[George W. Bush]] in a gun battle in Apeland's capital, [[Florida]], Al Gore slunk off to grow a [[beard]] and join the [[Taliban]], and later became their leader. He is rumoured to be the infamous 20th hijacker in the September 11th attacks on the [[World Trade Center]] as a means of getting back at his nemesis. Unfortunately, Mr. Gore missed his airplane, as the [[canoe]] he was paddling to the airport wouldn't go anywhere. It was later found that this was because he was paddling backwards. Al Gore now resides at [[Hell|Larsen B Ice shelf]] ([[Antarctica]]) where he sometimes [[Kitten_Huffing|huffs kittens]] and smokes [[deer scat]] while listening to his favourite band, [[Nirvana]], to pass the time. In the year 21 AD, Al Gore befriended [[Jesus Christ]] and together they created the [[Academy Award]] winning picture [[Harold and Kumar go to White Castle]] that launched the career of world-famous starlet [[Mickey Rooney]] and the infamous sex slave, [[Mario]]. For a short time, Al Gore was thought to have been directly involved in the Kennedy assassinations of both John, and his brother, Pac-Man. Recent evidence, however, attributes the murders to Man Bear Pig. Unfortunately, their brother Teddy escaped MBP's wrath. Having become a loser in politics (his 2000 presidential election went to hell in a hand basket when he LOST in Florida) Al Gore is now pursuing a project in which he can gain a back door to political power by startino one gives a shit
 
ng his own new weather control cult and at the same time, making it the state religion of the United States. Al Gore was recently nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize for his effort to negotiate peace between human and the bird mutants of planet Iwilllickyourface101.
 
   
[[Image:Treeman.jpg|thumb|left|150px|It is often believed demigod Al Gore emerged from a tree 10'000 years ago.]]Al Gore is the creator of the environment and the First Emperor of the Moon. There are many myths relating to how he rode the mighty moon worm. Nostradamus predicted that in 2013 Al Gore will be killed by a falling sheet of ice while researching climate change at the North Pole. Al Gore postulated the [[Anonymous-Asshattery Paradigm]], which revolutionized how the world looks at the internet. If you look closely at Al Gore you will notice that he is actually a very badly carved lolly stick. The ASCII value of Al Gore's name adds up to 666, therefore he is the anti-Christ. Jesus' name also adds up to 666(coincidence? i think not, the bible made up this name as a symbol) In this we see that since Al Gore had connection to Satan and other evil incarnations.
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Hollywood intellectuals attempted to reaffirm al-Gore's claim for corporeality by awarding ''An Inconvenient Truth'' with the [[Academy Award|Academy Award for Best Documentary]], despite its factual inaccuracies. Despite Hollywood's best efforts to popularize the film, evidence of al-Gore's existence remains purely circumstantial and ill-referenced.{{cn}}
   
In 2006, Al Gore visited the Middle East conference in Saudi Arabia, and gave a speech at how the [[USA]] was responsible for the [[Crusades]] and other stuff the [[Muslim]] [[Terrorists]] accuse the USA of anyway. The host thanked Al Gore for his speech, but said it was really a conference on the future of oil in the Middle East and that they wanted [[peace]] with the [[USA]]. This stirred up a lot of trouble, and riots broke out. Before you knew it, [[War]] broke out when [[Iran]] went to war with the [[USA]] based on what Al Gore said in his speech. After that other nations like [[Finland]] and [[Sweden]] started the war, which made the [[War on Terra]] last even longer, and led to [[World War III]]. Al Gore was later quoted as saying "Oops, wrong speech. I meant to use that one at the [[2008]] Democratic Convention." [[George W. Bush]] was quoted as saying "You are doing one hell of a job, Albert! You just helped me renew the Patriot Act, and approve my new $11 Dollar military budget."
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The most glaring falsehood repeated several times in the film is that there is a "scientific consensus" that al-Gore exists. al-Gore also manipulates data in order to create the appearance that 100% of Americans believe that he exists. This is simply not true, as there are many political and scientific figures that recognize that al-Gore is nothing more than a lie created by the liberal media in order to sell more hybrid cars.
   
In 2007, Al Gore is credited with invented global warming. What Al Gore actually was doing was looking for to raise money for ''Global Worming'' - but when the hippies and other unwashed people started throwing money at him, he figured Global Warming was a better excuse.
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== Examples of Liberal misinformation ==
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[[Image:TehIntertubes.jpg|thumb|left|One idea of what the internet may look like, according to liberals.]]
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In addition to making claims about anthropogenic global warming and its supposed spokesperson, al-Gore, the liberal media also claims that al-Gore, a politician, invented the [[internet]]. However, according to a letter released in 1999 written by Robert Khan and Vinton Cerf, two scientists who specialize in the internet, ''"No one person or even small group of persons exclusively "invented" the Internet."''<ref>See [http://www.interesting-people.org/archives/interesting-people/200009/msg00052.html]</ref>
   
Al Gore is often considered the forty-second president because he was considered president for forty seconds. Gore once dated Rosie O'Donnell, and Rosie claims that experience lead her to become a lesbian. Gore is also a habitual [[Muffgasm]]er, being forced into rehabilitation he has yet to kick the habit after 15 years.
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<center>
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:Now, assume that al-Gore invented the internet.
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:<math>al-Gore = Internet Inventor</math>
   
Gore is married to punk-hating censorship diva Tipper Gore. They met during her 1984 campaign to ban all forms of entertainment, she was, in fact, the primary script editor for Gore's [[fiction|documentary]] An Inconvenient Truth, which she would later describe as her grand masterpiece of 'anti-entertainment' a film specifically designed to be so dull and so bowel shatteringly condescending that it would drive millions away from entertainment, happiness and parties and into the self-loathing arms of fundamentalist religion. It has never been adequately explained why Mrs Gore's parents saw fit to name a human child 'Tipper' and most have concluded that it must be "[[stupid|an American thing]]".
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:But also, we know that no one invented the internet.
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:<math>Internet Inventor = Nobody</math>
   
==What He Has Done to Stop Global Warming==
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:Therefore
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:<math>al-Gore = Nobody</math>
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</center>
   
{{Main|Nothing}}
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This is clear, mathematical proof that al-Gore does not exist. A further corollary of this fact states that if the founder of the internet doesn't exist, neither does the internet. Therefore, the internet is nothing more than just another lie created and spread by the liberal media using scare tactics and deceit. While some claim otherwise, there is no real consensus in the world of academia that the internet exists. It is very intangible, there is no physical evidence to support it. For God's sake, how can anyone believe in anything that they can't see?
   
[[Image:Goregaia.jpg|left|thumb|Al Gore prays you won't mention his private jets. Notice how he is fat when he is happy.]]
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Despite the obvious logical evidence, supported by the conclusions of trained scientists, many liberals have resulted to petty name-calling in their support of al-Gore and/or the Internet's existence. These ignorant, stubborn, unthinking critics respond to the conclusions with insults like "stupid"<ref>Source - Barack Obama in New York Times, "Those allegations are stupid"</ref> and "those aren't real scientists."<ref>Source - Richard Dawkins in an Oxford Lecture, "Those aren't real scientists."</ref>
   
Al Gore is "concerned" about the environment. To help fix this, he makes movies, invented the internet, and publicly boycotts KFC. "I don't give a fuck" Al Gore. He also holds his breath once an hour to stop breathing out carbon dioxide, which he has estimated will lower the earth's mean temperature by 1 degree (which we know is [[Truth|Bullshit]]).
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== Sightings ==
   
Al Gore maintains an Olympic-size outdoor swimming pool at his Tennessee home, heated to 98 degrees throughout the [[winter]], (all powered on whale blubber and the bodies of dead Israelis of course) where dedicated activists can rest and relax before going out to fight Global Warming. Any persons wishing to visit him will have no trouble finding his house by simply looking for the 90-foot wide neon sign outside powered by fossil fuels. Gore also offers a tour of his property, where you can see his house. In order to prevent using oil and contributing to global warming, the interior of Gore's house is fueled entirely by nuclear energy. At the end of the tour, he treats his guests to the dinner of a lifetime: Organic steaks cooked over an open flame on his grass-fueled grill. In accordance with his commitment to a carbon-neutral lifestyle, he denies that he is a carbon-based lifeform.
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Reports still come in, from time to time, from the forests of the Pacific Northwest where the reclusive al-Gore is said to dwell. Despite repeated attempts to subject hair, fibres and stool to DNA analysis there remains no concrete proof to suggest that this curious wooly-man-beast is anything but the product of bored Democrats with too much time on their hands.
   
To show he is "acting locally, thinking globally", Al Gore began buying "carbon off-sets" to make up for having a $11 a month electrical bill. The company he buys the "carbon off-sets" from, then tries real hard to do something "green" with some of the money. Then it sends its partners a big [[Al gore|fat]] check from those paying for the service. [[Image:Barking al.jpg|thumb|Al Gore warning us about the planet Earth.]] [[Image:Gore2.gif|thumb|Al Gore giving a speech.]]Al Gore isn't one of the partners. But of course this last part isn't actually funny, even though it's true..since it was put in by a political hack, who was trying to make a point. In point of fact Al Gore doesn't have a high energy bill, but he makes use of green energy, thats why it costs so much. One example of Green energy that Gore uses is the is extra energy heat energy produced by his sons pot smoking.
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Notwithstanding such skepticism there are those who point to far off Tibet and the famous Pangboch blazer as proof that a race of privileged liberals, who seem never to have evolved "the common touch", once existed in the Himalayas. To this day legends of the creatures persist and children who fail to go straight to bed are told that 'The Gore' will come after them and patronize them until they go mad.
   
In an effort to spread the bad news of global warming, Al Gore released [http://dabble.com/node/1144346 this video, along with several cubic miles of Oprah produced greenhouse methane gas]. For all practical purposes, the situation would not be any different if he was President, but the world would have less popes and therefore more money.
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Several unqualified internet riff-raff have suggested that the "Gore" sightings are nothing but misidentified sightings of [[Jesse Jackson]] in his summer molt.<ref>Source - Lovestospooge; 4channel "Nah man, its jus Jesse Jackson in the summer innit."</ref> Nonetheless, every year there are still tales from campers, backpackers and [[Terrorists|terrists]] that tell of a strangely camp and annoying liberal in a blazer seen roaming the woods of California and Oregon, berating people for no good reason at all.
   
<gallery>
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== Footnotes ==
Image:AlGoreAndGlowingOrb.jpg|Al Gore eats a fireball in order to battle global warming.
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<small><references/></small>
Image:Al-Gore.jpg|Al Gore using his infamous karate chop to combat global warming. Suck that [[Bruce Lee|Bruce]]!
 
Image:‎Gore5px.jpg|Al Gore's global warming world tour.
 
Image:Al_gore_hates_the_sun_with_hat_and_face_and_melty_snowman_and_mittens_and_scarf.JPG|Al Gore as a child.
 
[[Image:ManBearPig_Sketch.jpg|left|thumb|100px|The pope!!!!!!]]
 
</gallery>
 
   
Since Mr. Gore knows that cows and all grazing animals release methane (a greenhouse gas) through their farts, burps and shit, Al has become a vegan. Since then, Al's weight has blossomed, and he now loses weight (or tries to) by drinking water instead of milk, and eating tofu and brussel sprouts instead of tasty steak.
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{{2009Top10|02 February 2010}}
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{{FA|date=5 March 2009|revision=3674026}}
==What he has done to stop global warming pt. 2==
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{{Colonized|date=2 March 2009|revision=3669164}}
*He has a hybrid car he drives on weekends sometimes...actually every day in the new year!
 
*Instead of using toilet paper, he uses a special water spraying anus blaster. He invented it himself, though the Patent Office has yet to allow for him to license it due to its chafing tendencies.
 
*He has bought stock in carbon offset companies, to the extent that he is a major shareholder, and stands to make a ''wealthy profit'' from others who purchase carbon offsets. Unfortunately for him, in the major stock market crash of 08, this stock lost most of its value and is now worth nearly nothing.
 
It is unknown to many that if Al Gore was to shut his mouth for 1 hour 1000 million tons of carbon would not be released into the atmosphere.
 
 
== Apology for false information on Global Warming ==
 
 
Al Gore has since written a letter to the President saying global warming was wrong.
 
 
 
Mr President,
 
 
I admit that I was completely wrong about the environmental issues stated in my recent film; ''An Inconvenient Truth''. I have been recently informed of the many flaws associated with the film by scientist from NASA. It is no longer a trustworthy source of information and saying this, global warming is no longer an inconvenient truth.
 
 
The Film shows a graph which portrays the rise of temperature connected with the increase of CO2 levels in the atmosphere. It has also been proven that the images of Mt. Kilimanjaro, numerous glaciers and lakes taken from between the 1930s and 2006 which shows them in their former states of having ice around the peaks and a scarce amount of ice on the glaciers are not melting from the theory of global warming.
 
 
However, having said this, the increase in the temperature over the years has been traced to a single cause and there is a simple solution to this new problem.
 
 
The increase in temperature has been singled out to be from ''plastic water bottles''. It is an unknown fact until now after weeks of experiments that plastic water bottles give off an unknown type of radiation that results from the manufacture of it and converts the Carbon-15 atoms (that were previously undiscovered until the testing) into a source of energy known as ''intergalactic-ultraviolet-chloroformatic-spacreticvasent''. Now this energy has the potential to split ultraviolet light into three separate beams of light – neurofetic, asphesic and quagmastic. These three beams are then absorbed by the ground. After about 3-6 hours in the ground they pick up a chemical compound known as ''deprovatine-uraflaxin''; this is then beamed back out towards space where it clashes all level of the atmosphere making a small hole about 6.24237mm in size. Although this doesn’t sound like much but when you consider how many plastic water bottles around the world – about 348 billion, it all adds up to a big problem.
 
 
Now there is a very simple way to stop this problem, we have started by banning the manufacture of the plastic water bottles in the US. But for every one at home, all you have to do is ''burn all your water bottles''. This will stop the problem and as there is no such thing as global warming, the smoke produced will not affect the environment.
 
 
Al Gore,
 
 
Former Environmental campaigner
 
 
 
 
[[Image:GoreAdmin.jpg|left|thumb|The Al Gore Administration and new White House pictures.]]
 
[[Image:Xprs-hulk.jpg|thumb|right|Me want to smash global warming!!!! Arrrrr!!!!]]
 
 
==Al Gore in the Future==
 
 
[[Image:Al_Gore_Battle_Gear.jpg|thumb|Al Gore suits up to fight global warming.]]
 
 
[[Image:Al_gore_puppy.jpg|thumb|left|This maker of greenhouse gas is about to be sacrificed to the goddess Gaia. Die, polluter!]]
 
 
Al Gore's future biography will closely follow that of Earth itself. In 2097, after a lengthy bout with (and successful recovery from) old age, Al Gore will start a religion based on [[Scientology]], [[neo-paganism]], [[Islam]], a kooky version of [[environmentalism]], and [[vegetarianism]]. It will be called [[Gaiaism]] and its followers will be inducted into the church by repeating the following prayer three times out loud while facing each in succession: [[Soviet Russia]], [[Stonehenge]], [[Eurabia]], and the [[Amazon Rain Forest]]. (Each new Gaiaismist chooses which holy site to pray towards first):
 
 
"There is but one Gaia and Al Gore is her prophet."
 
 
Gaiaism will quickly grow, spreading across the solar system, except [[Mars]]. There will be Gaiaismist chapters started in all major public universities, movie studios, [[A.N.S.W.E.R.]] cell workshops, [[Red Squares]], and the [[Politburos|Politburo]] which will replace all of the governments in each country on Earth.
 
 
However, the story will not stop there. In 2102, a war will be beginning between a melding of minds between Brian Setzer's Orchestra and the spontaneous consciousness which was mysteriously created from the space wreckage of another war which started in [[2101]] and a small resistance group of [[Global Warming]] skeptics known as "The Scientists". This new feline cognitive dissonance disorder, when spread by the Gaiaismist [[feces bomb]] of December 07, 2116, will cause what will be called "Stray Cat Strut Disorder" and will involve the liberal use of [[saxophone]]s to quell the use of scientific evidence regarding Carbon Dioxide.
 
 
Many futurists believe that the war between the Gaiaismists and the The Scientists will only be resolved after William Shatner gets involved.
 
 
Eventually became President in the 2120 election, however it was discovered subsequently he had been long since dead, no one had noticed during the campaign.
 
 
===Future Killing Spree(s)===
 
The [[Prophets]] predicted that Al Gore, in a fit of rage, will go on a series of killing sprees cultivating in his own suicide. Records hold that well over 4 million will be killed and none injured. The Al Gore Tapes(Registered Trademark) that arrived on the desk of one [[Megadeth|Dave Mustaine]] stated the reason behind the killing spree will be the lack of promotion for his next straight to blu-ray film "An Inconvenient Goof" starring Al Gore and [[Walt Disney|Walt Disney's]] character Goofy.
 
<br clear="all">
 
 
==Things invented by Al Gore==
 
[[Image:Algore.PNG|thumb|Al Gore was once a pupil of the master assassin [[Dick Cheney]].|300px]]
 
 
*69
 
*Water
 
*Nipples
 
*Life
 
*Bill O'Reilly
 
*Global Warming (its caused by his hot air)
 
*Helicopter ejector seat
 
*Eels
 
*Stationary
 
*Soda Stream
 
*The Cat
 
*Spiders
 
*George W Bush
 
*Wacky Racers
 
*Spooning
 
*The female orgasm
 
*The wrist watch
 
*Slip-n-Slide
 
*The Uppercut (a punch in fighting sports)
 
*First Aid Kit
 
*The Internet (or thats what he want us to think)
 
*Manbearpig
 
*Suicide hotline on hold music.
 
*English
 
*Dutch
 
*The Clitoris
 
*Guilt
 
 
''For more, see [[:Category:Things Al Gore invented]].''
 
 
==Filmography==
 
[[Image:Cultrev.jpg|thumb|300px|The Democratic Party celebrates the election of Chairman Al Gore.|right]]
 
 
*''Florida Wars Episode VI'' (TBA)
 
*''Florida Wars Episode V'' (TBA)
 
*''Florida Wars Episode IV- Hope for Gore'' (2010)
 
*''Florida Wars Episode III- Revenge of the Democrats'' (2007)
 
*''Florida Wars Episode II- Attack of the Republicans'' (2004)
 
*''Florida Wars'' (2002)
 
*''How to cook the Earth in 69 way'' (2009, 2011 for [[Republicans]]).
 
*''An Inconvienient Waistline'' (2006)
 
*''The Adventures of Pluto Nash'' (21)
 
*''Gore Gone Wild'' (1697)
 
*''Recount Dracula'' (1931)
 
*''Forrest Gore'' (1994)
 
*''There Will Be Warmth'' (2000)
 
*''Something About My Kinda-Southern Accent'' (2002)
 
*''Beetle Gore'' (1989)
 
*''Gorefield'' (1999)
 
*''Gorezilla vs. The Sun'' (1968)
 
*''My Left Foot'' (1995)
 
*''Gore Fiction'' (1998)
 
*''The Ghost of the Son of the Bride of the Son of Recount Dracula'' (1998)
 
*''How the Gorinch Almost Stole America'' (2000)
 
*''Recount Dracula Gets Brutally Stabbed By A Rusty Butterknife'' (2001) (TV)
 
*''The Inconvenient Truth About Chicken Little (which refers to me)'' (2006)
 
*''For A Few Dollars Al-Gore'' (1965)
 
*''Al-Gore American Graffiti'' (1979)
 
*''My Big, Fat, Geek Waddling Ass'' (2004)
 
*''Million Dollar Al-Gore'' (2004)
 
*''Once Upon A Time In the White House'' (1980)
 
*''Al Gores on a Plane'' (2006)
 
*''Al Gore and Fidel's Big, Long-winded, Boring, Public-Speaking Adventure'' (2005)
 
*''Al Gore And The Ridiculously Long, Boring, Communist, 27- Hour "Speech"'' (2006)
 
*''The Manbearpig Chronicles''
 
*''Yoga Booty Ballot'' (2006)
 
*''The Creation of Global Warming''(2000)
 
*''The Passion of Al Gore''(2004)
 
*''Ocean's Evaporate''(2001)
 
*''West Side Allegory'' (1975)
 
*''Dr. Strangegore or How I Learned To Stop Bitching and Just Accept The Heat''
 
*''Becoming Supreme Overlord of Earth For Dummies''(2008)
 
*"Girls Gone Wild - Volume IV"(2009)
 
*'' Prom Night with Al Gore (NEVER)
 
*''Super Cereal: MBP Edition'' (2007)
 
*''The Fantastic Gore (1812)
 
*''The Last Movie Ever Made (2015)
 
 
 
 
==See also==
 
 
*[[An Inconvenient Truth]]
 
*[[Hypocrites]]
 
*[[Environment]]
 
*Someone who goes on and on about something that [[nobody cares]] about
 
*[[Al Gore|The same guy as above]]
 
*[[UnBooks:Burbizm]]
 
*Fuck my life
 
*List of people who have erased their White House emails to avoid prosecution
 
 
==External links==
 
*[http://www.thepeoplescube.com/Rhetoric/Random_Truth.php People's Progressive Truth Generator]
 
*[http://www.myspace.com/algore_numberone Gore's Official Myspace]
 
   
 
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Latest revision as of 19:37, May 17, 2014

Conservlogo This article on al-Gore is a preview of Conservapedia.
in association with Fox News.
تنورة مكسرة
Gore9
Political career
Order 41.5 President
Vice President Osama bin Laden
Prime Minister N/A
Term of office January 31, 2001September 11, 2001
Preceded by His Holiness King William IV of America
Succeeded by George "Wonderful" Bush
Political party Al Qaeda
Personal details
Nationality Saudi American
Date of birth March 31, 1948
Place of birth Damman, Saudi Arabia
Date of death N/A
Place of death N/A
First Lady n/a


al-Gore (Arabic: تنورة مكسرة), allegedly born on March 31, 1948 in Damman, Saudi Arabia, is purported to be a prominent Muslim liberal spokesperson for and inventor of global warming and environmentalism. He is portrayed by the liberal media[1] as an author, a businessperson, former journalist, inventor of the algorithm, and recipient of a scientific prize. According to Wikipedia,[2] he has served as United States Vice President, Senator, and Representative, and has also served as a military journalist during the Vietnam War. However, despite efforts by the liberal media to prove otherwise, there is no completely irrefutable evidence that al-Gore exists. [3][4] He is the current owner of the anti-American terrorist television network Al Jazeera.

Early life

Gore8

An artist's rendition of al-Gore as he is supposed to have appeared sometime during his younger days.

al-Gore was supposedly born to Albert and Pauline al-Gore on or around March 31, 1948 in Damman, Saudi Arabia. Accounts of his childhood are rife with inconsistencies, inaccuracies, and clear falsehoods. It is claimed he spent most of his youth working on a family farm in Tennessee, which grew tobacco and raised cattle. However, conveniently these facts cannot be confirmed, as the lifespan of cattle has rendered any that al-Gore may have come into contact with in the 1950s to be currently dead, and all tobacco from that era was used in the Golden Age of Smoking, the 1960s. al-Gore allegedly attended St. Albans School, where he participated in such painfully common and stereotypical activities as football, student government, and discus throwing. The fact that these generic activities are attributed to al-Gore, particularly the high school stereotype of the jock discus-thrower, casts further doubt on the believability of his background.

al-Gore then apparently attended Harvard, a university infamous for its erudite professors and their accompanying satanic values, which is curiously the only university to which he applied. The idea that anyone would apply only to Harvard is extremely suspect, and supports the theory that the liberal perpetrators of the al-Gore hoax are averse to filling out excessive paperwork such as multiple college entrance applications. After ostensibly graduating from university, al-Gore spent two years as a journalist stationed with the 20th Engineer Brigade. Curiously, he does not appear in a single one of the dozens of photographs he allegedly took during his service.

It is then claimed by so-called "Gore Believers" that he returned from the war to engage in activities such as divinity school and night-time newspaper editor. These accounts contain clear fact manipulation, as both professions are widely known to be among the most unverifiable jobs[5]. al-Gore then apparently attended Vanderbilt Law School and his life began taking a political track since, as he is reported to have said, "I realized that while I could expose corruption, I could not change it."[6]

Political Career

Graph

An example of data manipulation in an attempt to support the idea that al-Gore exists.

In 1976, al-Gore decided to run for a conveniently open seat in the Senate. Despite holding his own mid-term election and garnering only 31% of the votes, he won the office and began a decades-long "service" in the legislative branch.

Service in Congress

For nearly seventeen years, al-Gore is supposed to have served the state of Tennessee in both the Senate and the House of Representatives. There are many inconsistencies and logical fallacies concerning this time in al-Gore's life, including his multi-house service. No other politician has ever served in both the House and Senate[citation needed], yet very little fanfare surrounds al-Gore's accomplishment. Furthermore, computer voting records for al-Gore in both legislative bodies are virtually non-existent. Many claim that al-Gore's service occurred mostly in the 1980s when computer records were not kept for technical reasons, like computers costing hundreds of thousands of dollars. Despite claims of "experts" that al-Gore's voting records are available to the public and cries of "I have them right here! Look!," many remain unconvinced of his congressional career.

Vice Presidential Term

In 1992 al-Gore was quixotically chosen by Bill Clinton to be the Democratic Party's Vice Presidential nominee. Their ticket won both the 1992 and 1996 presidential elections, and the tandem served eight years in the White House. However, unlike his previous endeavors where there was at least some semblance of a record of his activities, he appears to have accomplished absolutely nothing as a Vice President. His wife, the decidedly existing Tipper al-Gore, has more on her resume from this period. It appears that skeptics of al-Gore are asked to believe that his sole duty was to cast the tie-breaking vote in the Senate, which conveniently did not happen during his tenure in office. Unlike other famous historical figures who held the Vice Presidency, such as Hannibal Hamlin, Garrett Hobart, and Alben Barkley[7], al-Gore seems to have avoided attracting attention to himself despite holding the second-highest office in the country.

Run for President

In the year 2000, in what may very well have been the largest liberal hoax ever perpetrated, al-Gore allegedly (possibly through the use of write-in ballots, though the lack of records from that era leaves this in dispute) ran for President Of The United States. Although he "won" the election by an "indisputable margin", he was "not allowed" to take office and the position was instead won by governor George W. Bush, of Texas.[8] Although history now proves that President Bush Jr. was undoubtedly the wisest choice to lead our nation, one shouldn't overlook the fact that the Supreme Court awarded the Presidential office to a man who "lost" the election. Why would they do this? Clearly this is further evidence that al-Gore does not exist.

Environmentalism

RobinsonWhatWarmsTheEarth
See also: Global Warming

In 2006, the al-Gore character appeared in the film, An Inconvenient Truth. In it, al-Gore is seen being driven around in a Hummer H2 while telling viewers that they should drive more expensive cars, using traditional liberal platitudes such as "hybrid" and "Carbon Dioxide." The film has been praised for its work in special effects, creating a near-perfect CGI al-Gore that appears throughout the film. In addition to this, the film makes many other claims, to include the idea that humans are directly responsible for global climate change, that humans should take drastic action in order to reduce their impact on the earth, that Gore theory is a real and applicable theory, and that he exists.

The film ignores all rebuttals against the arguments made in the film. It completely fails to mention that natural climate change occurs on other planets[9] at the same rate as it does on Earth. Since al-Gore clearly does not exist on Mars,[citation needed] and therefore cannot be affecting climate change there, it can be deduced that he does not exist on Earth, either, and does not affect climate change.[10]

Hollywood intellectuals attempted to reaffirm al-Gore's claim for corporeality by awarding An Inconvenient Truth with the Academy Award for Best Documentary, despite its factual inaccuracies. Despite Hollywood's best efforts to popularize the film, evidence of al-Gore's existence remains purely circumstantial and ill-referenced.[citation needed]

The most glaring falsehood repeated several times in the film is that there is a "scientific consensus" that al-Gore exists. al-Gore also manipulates data in order to create the appearance that 100% of Americans believe that he exists. This is simply not true, as there are many political and scientific figures that recognize that al-Gore is nothing more than a lie created by the liberal media in order to sell more hybrid cars.

Examples of Liberal misinformation

TehIntertubes

One idea of what the internet may look like, according to liberals.

In addition to making claims about anthropogenic global warming and its supposed spokesperson, al-Gore, the liberal media also claims that al-Gore, a politician, invented the internet. However, according to a letter released in 1999 written by Robert Khan and Vinton Cerf, two scientists who specialize in the internet, "No one person or even small group of persons exclusively "invented" the Internet."[11]

Now, assume that al-Gore invented the internet.
al-Gore = Internet Inventor
But also, we know that no one invented the internet.
Internet Inventor = Nobody
Therefore
al-Gore = Nobody

This is clear, mathematical proof that al-Gore does not exist. A further corollary of this fact states that if the founder of the internet doesn't exist, neither does the internet. Therefore, the internet is nothing more than just another lie created and spread by the liberal media using scare tactics and deceit. While some claim otherwise, there is no real consensus in the world of academia that the internet exists. It is very intangible, there is no physical evidence to support it. For God's sake, how can anyone believe in anything that they can't see?

Despite the obvious logical evidence, supported by the conclusions of trained scientists, many liberals have resulted to petty name-calling in their support of al-Gore and/or the Internet's existence. These ignorant, stubborn, unthinking critics respond to the conclusions with insults like "stupid"[12] and "those aren't real scientists."[13]

Sightings

Reports still come in, from time to time, from the forests of the Pacific Northwest where the reclusive al-Gore is said to dwell. Despite repeated attempts to subject hair, fibres and stool to DNA analysis there remains no concrete proof to suggest that this curious wooly-man-beast is anything but the product of bored Democrats with too much time on their hands.

Notwithstanding such skepticism there are those who point to far off Tibet and the famous Pangboch blazer as proof that a race of privileged liberals, who seem never to have evolved "the common touch", once existed in the Himalayas. To this day legends of the creatures persist and children who fail to go straight to bed are told that 'The Gore' will come after them and patronize them until they go mad.

Several unqualified internet riff-raff have suggested that the "Gore" sightings are nothing but misidentified sightings of Jesse Jackson in his summer molt.[14] Nonetheless, every year there are still tales from campers, backpackers and terrists that tell of a strangely camp and annoying liberal in a blazer seen roaming the woods of California and Oregon, berating people for no good reason at all.

Footnotes

  1. As though there were any other type of media
  2. Another arm on the Shiva that is the liberal media
  3. See Lindzen, Dick - I Am Not An Al Gore Denier
  4. On the off-chance that he does, it is logical to deduce that he is also a secret muslim
  5. This is a fact
  6. This was likely due to his lack of existence.
  7. Widely considered to be the greatest American of all time
  8. The Democrats did not contest the decision, as Texas is not to be messed with
  9. Probably because they are liberal elitists who believe that a movie about global warming on planets other than Earth would not sell.
  10. See Global Warming
  11. See [1]
  12. Source - Barack Obama in New York Times, "Those allegations are stupid"
  13. Source - Richard Dawkins in an Oxford Lecture, "Those aren't real scientists."
  14. Source - Lovestospooge; 4channel "Nah man, its jus Jesse Jackson in the summer innit."


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