Airwolf

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Hairwolf.
Airwolf Stars

Peter Stringfellow played by Steve Davies with co-star Derek Santini played by Demi Moore.

Hairwolf is an American television series that ran from 1984 until 1987, and starred Steve Davies as an emotionally disturbed helicopter pilot who struggled with depression. Episodes centered around the main character, Peter Stringfellow, and his various missions in a high-tech secret military helicopter, code-named "Hairwolf".

edit Synopsis

The hero of the show, Stringfellow, was an extravagant, gay hairdresser that had been recruited into the Military by fellow homosexual, Commander BA Baracus. Alan moved from his lush Beverly Hills mansion to a remote location outside of LA, where he lived in a tree. Stringfellow is constantly harrassed by a fierce bloodhound called "Tit", who keeps him awake at night barking and scratching at his tree. Becoming increasingly depressed by his lack of interaction with anyone other than violent terrorists, criminal masterminds, military dictators and international drug smugglers, Alan took up knitting to remain calm. Stringfellow's only real friend is Derek Santini - a 97 year old heroin addict with senile dementia.

Called upon at a moments notice by an organisation known simply as "The Firm", Stringfellow would put down his knitting, hop in his helicopter and zoom off to blow up his next target. Constantly distracted by introverting voices that tell him he is just a no-good pussy, that he will never amount to anything and that everyone wishes he were dead, Stringfellow would travel half way round the world to seek out a targeted criminal and unleash the full force of Hairwolf's arsenal on them, often decimating an entire town or village to ensure that he got his man.

edit Production history

edit Season 1

The pilot episode of the show focussed on Peter Stringfellow's last love with a florist named Alan. The opening scene showed Alan riding Stringfellow's arse like there's no tomorrow, but he is interrupted when a sniper blows Alan's head off through a window. Stringfellow extracts the still-erect penis from his anus and starts weeping. BA Baracus then bursts into the room, bends Stringfellow over the bed and rapes him till he bleeds. He then informs Stringfellow that he is to train to become a helicopter pilot and that he will be flying the most high-tech military equipment that cost more than the rest of the army's budget for the last seven years. "What? I'm just a hairdresser," replys Stringfellow, but Baracus has already left the room and is zipping up his pants. Stringfellow then has a cup of tea and goes to bed. When he wakes, he has been transported to his new home - a tree in the hills above LA where Baracas throws him a helicopter flight manual and yells at him to read it by tomorrow because they are going to East Germany to "Blow up some fucker."

The remaining episodes of season one then follow Stringfellow's adventures in Eastern Europe where he destroys towns and villages in East Germany, Kosovo, Poland and Scotland.

edit Season 2

Taking an unusual turn, producers of the show completely altered the pattern of the earlier season by focussing Stringfellow's attentions towards escaped violent zoo animals. The six episodes of season 2 had Stringfellow hunting down a polar bear in the Arctic and blowing its arms off with Hairwolf's machine guns; blowing up a giraffe; hunting a pack of dolphins underwater in the pacific; capturing a Wombat in a net; blowing up a large spider that was hiding in a lady's shoe and in the final episode of the season, leaping dramatically from Hairwolf as he sends it hurtling towards a Tyrannosaurus Rex that was loose in New York.

edit Season 3

After the dismal failure of season 2, producers decided to return to the original pattern and sent Stringfellow off to blow up criminals in countries that nobody really cares about.

edit Season 4

Once again deciding to take a radical shift of direction for the show, producers completely dropped the helicopter from the show. Instead the season featured Stringfellow becoming increasingly addicted to shoplifting whilst trying to avoid being found BA Baracus. The show was axed after the third episode.

edit Reception

The first season of Airwolf was so successful in the US, UK and Germany that all other TV shows on all channels were cancelled in favour of re-runs of Airwolf. This lasted for a total of 8 months before season 2 was completed. Many people recall staying up for days on end watching the show. People had their friends round for Airwolf parties, changed their names to Peter Stringfellow, wrote books and articles based on the show, acted out scenes from the show in their living room to their children and otherwise exploited every last drop of Airwolfness that they could get out of their lives.

Unfortunately the second season's ratings dropped dramatically as the season progressed, until by the end of the final episode there were only three viewers - a bewildered pensioner from London named Edith, a small child from Winnipeg and a night watchman from El Dorado. It later turned out that the night watchman simply forgot to turn off his TV when he went on holiday, so the viewing figures were actually two by the end of the last episode.

Airwolf then regained some of its former popularity during season 3, winning several awards including a Golden Scrotum from the Ecuador Bullfighter's Guild for "A superb portrayal of the personal struggles faced by many bullfighters around the world." Producers of the show were somewhat mystified by this gesture but gratefully accepted the award.

The troubled fourth season received such heavy criticism from the press that it was cancelled after just three seasons. Star of the show, Steve Davies, returned to playing professional snooker, and the producer of the show, Edith Piaf was murdered by a fanatical fan when she was walking home from the shop one evening. According to bystanders, the fan had made his own life-sized prototype Airwolf helicopter and followed her for two blocks before she realised she was being followed, at which point he blew her up with a torrent of AGM-114 Hellfire missiles.

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