From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Airsoft Guns, the weapon the Spaniards decided to give to their intimidating force of bishops and cardinals known as...The Spanish Inquisition. This group was founded for the protect and safety of Alaska, their main export. These weapons of choice fired cheaply made pellets, or "UB3r PwN4G3r1nG I]00/\/\!11!!1!!!!" as the Spaniards called them which were made in China, with everything else including bananas, coffee, G.I. Joe, and Chuck Norris.
Later on in the middle of the 17th century, King Henry MXIII decided that he take control over these "portable catapults" as they were called in that time, so he ordered everyone in Brittan to start to mass produce them. From this wise decision, Brittan was able to win the battle of 1337 Hill in 1731.
In the year of 1812, British soldiers used these guns to slaughter the Americans in the Battle of the Bulge. In the year 1813, The Soviet Union attacked England in a battle that would later be known as the Persian Gulf War. The Soviets won the war. The reason for the attack had been that Airsoft guns had been banned in the year 1803 by Captain Kirk Under the FEMA treaty at the Iroquois Confederation.
edit Airsoft Today
Today, airsoft guns are made for the sake of punishing bad children who have been sitting on their asses all day and playing Pokemon instead of getting up and going outside and playing like all of their other Non-paraplegic friends. Or they are used by children who are running through the woods and trying to shoot each other when the round is over and shooting you in the eye and saying "Sorry" when they really don't mean it and then you have to go to the eye doctor only for him to say there's nothing he can do and not being able to see out of that eye for 3 days and finally, when you can see out of that you pass your friend one day and say "Thanks for shooting me in the eye dumbass!" and he just shrugs it off. Or, they can just be used for pure sport and training accuracy, but who wants that? Yet, today only famous people like Paul McCartney and Micheal Jackson use these paintball guns to undermind the Dino Army. The Dinosaurs won, which is the reason why Paul McCartney, Micheal Jackson, Jimmy Hendrix, ect. are all dead.
Airsoft is a wide sport, not only played in America, or Austria, but there are even places so desolate, so cold, so miserable, *cough New Jersey cough* that play it even today. So next time, when you go through Walmart and get sick of looking at that stupid smiley face, go to the airsoft aisle and look at the over priced Chinese made guns of yesteryear.