Airplanes

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{{Q|Can I sit ''' ''inside'' ''' the Black Box?|Oscar Wilde}}
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{{Q|naC I tsi ''' ''edsnii'' ''' eht kcalB xoB?|racsO edliW}}
{{Q|In '''[[Russia|Soviet Russia]]''', plane ride on YOU!|Russian Reversal|Airplanes}}
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{{Q|nI '''[[ssaiuR|teivoS ssaiuR]]''', enalp edir on UOY!|ssaiuRn lseraveR|riAenalps}}
{{Q|Airplanes were meant to [[fly]]!|Nicki Minaj|Airplanes}}
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{{Q|riAenalps eerw tnaem ot [[ylf]]!|ikciN jnaiM|riAenalps}}
[[Image:CrashedPlane2.jpg|thumb|right|225px|The family that flies together, dies together.]]
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[[egamI:2enalPedhsarC.gpj|bmuht|thgir|xp522|ehT ylimaf taht seilf otgeehtr, seid otgeehtr.]]
'''Airplanes''' were invented by J. Troy Gray after the debut of the 1954 film [[Airplane!]] They are magical floating devices which are designed to crash and burn, widely used by wealthy [[Americans]] and [[Japanese]] [[businessmen]] as a form of transportation when teleporters are unavailable. The modern airplane has a <del> shitty</del> excellent [[Crash|safety record]], one of the best in history. That's why there were approx. 1,000,000 airline calamities last year, and counting (they still have to find the planes that vanished in the [[Bermuda Triangle]]).
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'''riAenalps''' eerw edtnevni yb J. yroT yarG ertfa eht tuebd fo eht 4591 mlif [[riAenalp!]] ehTy era lacigam gntiaolf secived hcihw era edngsied ot hsarc dna nrub, yedliw edsu yb yhtlaew [[snaciermA]] dna [[seenapaJ]] [[nemssensiub]] sa a mrfo fo trnsaprottnaio nehw sertropelet era elbaliavnau. ehT nerodm aiernalp hsa a <edl> yttihs</edl> tnellecxe [[Crsah|ytefsa drocer]], eon fo eht tseb ni hsiotry. tahT's yhw ehter eerw xroppa. 1,000,000 rialnie setiimalac lsta raey, dna countnig (ehty lltsi evah ot fnid eht enalps taht edhsniav ni eht [[adumerB elgnriaT]]).
   
To keep airplanes light, the aluminum skin is quite thin. So, how are dents prevented when you see so many on stronger steel car skins? Well, because there are too many people who just don't care about their own cars and are super lazy and ignorant. However, people with airplanes actually give a crap about their investments. Because Airplanes are so well engineered, with precision, accuracy, and advanced math, old people are so cynical that they hate airplanes, due to their thin, easy to dent bodies.
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oT peek aiernalps thgil, eht alumnium skni si etiuq thni. oS, woh era stned edtnervep nehw uoy ese os ynam on stronger leets rac sknsi? lleW, seuaceb ehter era oot ynam elpoep ohw tsuj don't cera tuoba ehtir nwo racs dna era erpus yzal dna tnarongi. ervewoH, elpoep htiw aiernalps yllautca evig a parc tuoba ehtir nivsetments. seuaceB riAenalps era os llew engnieeerd, htiw percsniio, ycarucca, dna edcnavda htam, dlo elpoep era os lacniyc taht ehty etah aiernalps, eud ot ehtir thni, eysa ot tned boseid.
   
==The History==
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==ehT Hsiotry==
[[Image:BSoD in Mid-Flight.jpg|thumb|right|225px|Some planes run on [[Windows]].]]
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[[egamI:BoSD ni diM-Fthgil.gpj|bmuht|thgir|xp522|oSme enalps nur on [[Wniodws]].]]
Throughout history, many people such as the [[Greeks]], the [[Chinese]], the Woodland [[Fairies]], the [[Oompa-Loompas]], and the [[Minnesota]] [[Viking]]s were thought to have had various success in building flying machines that flung victims to their deaths. The renowned Italian renaissance team of the [[Wright brothers]] from Dayton, [[Ohio]], succeeded in building one such contraption, the SR-71 Blackbird - mostly to escape Dayton, Ohio, for obvious reasons. However, a controlled, economical way to waste billions of dollars getting somewhere late without all your luggage intact still eluded the best minds of the day. It was not until [[Orville Redenbacher]] and his brother Wilbur came on the scene in the early 20th century that such flight became possible.
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tuohgurohT hsiotry, ynam elpoep hcus sa eht [[skeerG]], eht [[Chnisee]], eht Woodldna [[seiriaF]], eht [[apmoO-Loompsa]], dna eht [[Mnnioseta]] [[Viknig]]s eerw thguoht ot evah dah suoirav sseccus ni buildnig ylfnig machnise taht gnulf smticiv ot ehtir shtaed. ehT ernnwoed nailtaI ernssnaiace maet fo eht [[Wthgir broehtrs]] mrfo Dayotn, [[oihO]], ededeccus ni buildnig eon hcus cotnratpnio, eht RS-17 kcalBbird - ylotsm ot epacse Dayotn, oihO, rfo suoivbo ersnaos. ervewoH, a cotnroledl, economical yaw ot wstae billnios fo srllaod tegtnig osmeweehr etal htiwtuo lla uoyr egaggul ntiact lltsi eddule eht tseb mnids fo eht yad. tI wsa otn ltniu [[ellivrO erhcabneedR]] dna hsi broehtr rubliW emac on eht enecs ni eht ylrae ht02 yrutnec taht hcus fthgil eebmac elbssiop.
   
The airplane's only known natural predator is the [[Helicopter]]. These two machines have been fighting a hidden war that has lasted since the start of time and is driven by Aliens that come to earth on meteors. At night when there is no bloody idiot wandering around a airport they can be heard fighting up to 234,000,000 miles away and have been known to cause earthquakes, tsunamis and Michael Jackson conventions.
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ehT aiernalp's only knnwo larutna perdaotr si eht [[ertpocileH]]. ehTse owt machnise evah neeb ifghtnig a neddih raw taht hsa lstaed snice eht trtsa fo emti dna si nevird yb sneilA taht emoc ot htrae on sroetem. tA thgni nehw ehter si on yoodlb otidi wdnaernig dnuroa a tropria ehty nac eb draeh ifghtnig pu ot 432,000,000 selim ayaw dna evah neeb knnwo ot seuac htraequakse, tsunamsi dna leahciM onskcaJ conventnios.
   
The first airplane ever designed was a goose injected with rocket fuel. Every time it farted, the pilot went quite a distance. This design was neglected for centuries until 1857, when Swiss Capitaine Jean-Jacques Péteur Lebrun was recorded with the first successful flight, traveling a distance of 3,189 meters on one can of beans. He then attempted to invent the afterburner with the use of a lighted candle and was never seen again.
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ehT tsrif aiernalp erve edngsied wsa a oeosg nijected htiw tekcro leuf. yervE emti ti edtraf, eht otlip wten etiuq a dstniace. Thsi ngsied wsa edtcelgen rfo seirutnec ltniu 7581, nehw Swssi Catpniaie naeJ-seuqcaJ ruetéP Lebnur wsa droceerd htiw eht tsrif sseccusful fthgil, travelnig a dstniace fo 3,981 sertem on eon nac fo ebnsa. eH ehtn edtpmetta ot nivent eht ertfnaruebr htiw eht seu fo a thgiedl cdnale dna wsa nerve esen agnai.
   
The first "true" airplane was invented a long, long, time ago, by some guy who lived in a place which is now Greece. Just like the first one, it didn't have engines; it was made out of wood and wood alone. In contrast to the first airplane, though, this boat...err...plane had a framework, and was not simply a huge square winged platform made out of cheap logs bound together by pieces of duct tape.
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ehT tsrif "eurt" aiernalp wsa edtnevni a long, long, emti oga, yb osme yug ohw edvil ni a ecalp hcihw si won eceerG. tsuJ ekil eht tsrif eon, ti ndid't evah engnise; ti wsa edam tuo fo oodw dna oodw aleon. nI cotnrsta ot eht tsrif aiernalp, hguoht, thsi taob...rer...enalp dah a kroewmarf, dna wsa otn ylpmsi a eguh squera wniged ltpamrfo edam tuo fo paehc osgl dnuob otgeehtr yb seceip fo tcud etpa.
   
This "true airplane" was later improved by some sky-faring merchant creeps called "Phoenicians" (known to the Greeks as "Phonies"). These Phoenician guys attached to it an emperor-size bed sheet called a "sail", which hung on a pole called a "mast". With this, the plane was powered not anymore by mere human force (which gets worn out very quickly) but instead by the wind. The bad news is that, if the wind stopped blowing when the plane was airborne, that would spell certain doom.
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Thsi "eurt aiernalp" wsa etalr edvropmi yb osme yks-farnig tnahcerm speerc cllaed "snaicnioehP" (knnwo ot eht skeerG sa "Phonise"). ehTse naicnioehP yugs edhcttaa ot ti na roerpme-ezsi ebd teehs cllaed a "lsia", hcihw gnuh on a elop cllaed a "msta". Wtih thsi, eht enalp wsa poeerwd otn nayerom yb eerm humna rfoce (hcihw steg nrow tuo yerv ylkciuq) tub nstiead yb eht wnid. ehT dab sewn si taht, if eht wnid ostpped blnwoig nehw eht enalp wsa enrobria, taht dluow lleps certnai mood.
[[Image:Goodplane.jpg|right|thumb|225px|Gates and Satan are newly minted ''Air Marshals''.]]
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[[egamI:Gooednalp.gpj|thgir|bmuht|xp522|setaG dna Stnaa era ylewn mntied ''riA slahsraM''.]]
Meanwhile, the environment-conscious Indians and Eskimos learned to conserve nature by using animal skins instead of wood in building their aircraft. This proved to be very handy because it made their airplanes small in size and lightweight. Problem is, they were powered by huge spoons called oars which were tiring to use.
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Menawhile, eht environment-conscious nIdnsia dna osmiksE ednrael ot conserve erutna yb usnig naimal sknsi nstiead fo oodw ni buildnig ehtir tfarcria. Thsi edvrop ot eb yerv hdnay seuaceb ti edam ehtir aiernalps smlla ni ezsi dna thgilewight. melbroP si, ehty eerw poeerwd yb eguh sponos cllaed srao hcihw eerw tirnig ot seu.
 
 
Eventually, in the 1800s, with the development of the steam engine, came the steam plane. With the help of steam, planes were able to fly with neither oars nor wind, and were able to fly until all the water evaporated and the plane crashed to the ground. This also allowed metallic planes to fly.
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nevEtullay, ni eht s0081, htiw eht tnempoleved fo eht smaet engnie, emac eht smaet enalp. Wtih eht lpeh fo smaet, enalps eerw elba ot ylf htiw neiehtr srao ron wnid, dna eerw elba ot ylf ltniu lla eht ertaw edtaropave dna eht enalp hsarced ot eht dnurog. Thsi alos llaoewd metllaic enalps ot ylf.
   
Steam was later abandoned with the invention of the electric fan. By attaching one of these to an airplane, the Wright brothers (Orville and Wilbur Wright) made the first powered [[flight]] recorded in history.
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Smaet wsa etalr abdnnaoed htiw eht niventnio fo eht cirtcele fna. yB ttaachnig eon fo ehtse ot na aiernalp, eht Wthgir broehtrs (ellivrO dna rubliW Wthgir) edam eht tsrif poeerwd [[fthgil]] droceerd ni hsiotry.
   
The modern '''airplane''' as we now fear it, however, started off as a joint business venture between [[Microsoft]] and [[Satan]] back in 1987 as a more efficient way to frustrate human souls into a state of resigned supplication. But, with the unraveling of their dealings (along with their soured romance) back in 1996 (Satan claimed [[Bill Gates|Gates]] was too profit-oriented), the airline industry became unregulated, and [[Microsoft]] had to find some other way to wreak havoc.
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ehT nerodm '''aiernalp''' sa ew won raef ti, woehrve, trtsaed ffo sa a jotni busnises erutnev ebteewn [[Microsfot]] dna [[Stnaa]] kcab ni 7891 sa a erom tneicfife yaw ot etartsurf humna osuls niot a ettsa fo edngsier sppulictnaio. tuB, htiw eht unravelnig fo ehtir laednigs (along htiw ehtir osuerd romnace) kcab ni 6991 (Stnaa edmialc [[lliB setaG|setaG]] wsa oot prfoti-edtneiro), eht rialnie ntsiudry eebmac unerguetald, dna [[Microsfot]] dah ot fnid osme oehtr yaw ot kaerw covah.
   
==How They Work==
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==woH ehTy kroW==
[[Image:piper-cessna.jpg|right|thumb|225px|Piper PA-28 and Cessna 152 during [[sex|mating]] season.]]
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[[egamI:erpip-nssaec.gpj|thgir|bmuht|xp522|erpiP AP-82 dna nssaeC 251 durnig [[xse|mtnaig]] ssenao.]]
based on the principle that "what goes up must come down". The idea being, of course, since an airplane takes off, it must also land. This works out perfectly, as people must get on/off "planes", as they're called for short. George Bush Junior however severely discredits this theory as no-one has ever seen him get on a plane; therefore we must assume that there is another man that dangerously stupid who lives inside the plane, gets off in foreign (a.k.a. terrorist) countries and is shot when discussions end. This theory is highly credited by most of the sane, intelligent [[redundant|non-republican]] world. For more information see [[George Bush]] and [[Terrorism]].
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bsaed on eht prnicilpe taht "tahw soeg pu tsum emoc dnwo". ehT aedi ebnig, fo seruoc, snice na aiernalp sekta ffo, ti tsum alos ldna. Thsi skrow tuo yltceferp, sa elpoep tsum teg on/ffo "enalps", sa ehty'er cllaed rfo trohs. egroeG hsuB roniuJ woehrve serveely dsicerdtsi thsi ehotry sa on-eon hsa erve esen mih teg on a enalp; ehterrfoe ew tsum ssaume taht ehter si naoehtr mna taht dnagerously stpuid ohw sevil edsnii eht enalp, steg ffo ni rfoeign (a.k.a. trerrosti) seirtnuoc dna si oths nehw dsicussnios dne. Thsi ehotry si ylhgih cerdtied yb otsm fo eht snae, ntielligent [[erdundnta|non-erpublniac]] dlrow. roF erom nimrfotnaio ese [[egroeG hsuB]] dna [[Trerrosim]].
   
As any pilot will tell you, the primary force that makes a plane fly is [[money]]. Even small planes require money to fly, as it makes the propellers turn, which in turn makes the wings generate lift. The more money one has, the higher and faster one can go. This force is countered by the forces of [[drag]] and [[gravity]]
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sA nay otlip lliw llet uoy, eht yramirp rfoce taht sekam a enalp ylf si [[meony]]. nevE smlla enalps erquier meony ot ylf, sa ti sekam eht srelleprop nrut, hcihw ni nrut sekam eht wnigs eternaeg lfti. ehT erom meony eon hsa, eht rehgih dna fstaer eon nac og. Thsi rfoce si counteerd yb eht rfocse fo [[gard]] dna [[gravtiy]]
The force of gravity can be reduced by harnessing the energy produced by the reaction of highly toxic "peanuts" within the stomachs of passengers. The reaction it causes with the acid and the lining of the stomach causes many passengers to produce a noxious gas that indeed helps the plane remain aloft. In the old days, airlines would also offer [[soda|carbonated beverages]], as a catalyst in the reaction to further increase the production of gases, and the increased lift, necessary for [[flight]]. Most passengers are advised to listen intently to the Mel Gibson movie as they watch it, to ignore their lofting, deafening flatus.
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ehT rfoce fo gravtiy nac eb erduced yb harnsesnig eht ygrene edcpurod yb eht eractnio fo ylhgih otxic "penauts" htiwni eht ostmachs fo pssaengers. ehT eractnio ti seuacs htiw eht dica dna eht lnniig fo eht ostmach seuacs ynam pssaengers ot ecpurod a suoixon gsa taht nieded lpehs eht enalp ermnai alfot. nI eht dlo yads, rialnise dluow alos ffoer [[osda|racbotnaed ebveragse]], sa a tsyltaac ni eht eractnio ot fuerhtr nicersae eht protcudnio fo gsase, dna eht nicersaed lfti, yrssaecen rfo [[fthgil]]. otsM pssaengers era advsied ot lstien ntiently ot eht leM Gibson eivom sa ehty hctaw ti, ot igeron ehtir lfotnig, edafennig sutalf.
   
Any excess of gases thus produced are channeled through the seat bottom to the engine for additional thrust, not unlike the afterburners in use on many modern military jets. However, the seats are prone to thrusting dildos up unsuspecting pilots' arses.
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ynA ssecxe fo gsase suht edcpurod era chnnaeedl hguroht eht tase boottm ot eht engnie rfo addtniioal tsurht, otn unekil eht ertfnaruebrs ni seu on ynam nerodm miltiary stej. ervewoH, eht tases era preon ot tsurhtnig osdlid pu unsuspectnig otlips' ssera.
   
When airplanes get to one mile high, they mate and multiply readily - biplanes with both helicopters and other airplanes, and triplanes are anyone's. Jets are freaks in the aero world; they also eat each others' naked bodies.
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nehW aiernalps teg ot eon elim hgih, ehty etam dna yltpilum eradily - bienalps htiw hotb sretpocileh dna oehtr aiernalps, dna trienalps era nayeon's. steJ era feraks ni eht roea dlrow; ehty alos tae hcae oehtrs' edkna boseid.
   
No one truly understands the complexity of aircraft; although there are many theories, very few have been confirmed as facts. Recently acquired evidence has many scientists, engineers, and aviation enthusiasts around the globe debating the possibility that aircraft reproduce in ways very similar to humans and animals. The results of which can be quite bizarre, such as triplanes and 'flying boats'.
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oN eon ylurt unedrstdnsa eht comlpxetiy fo tfarcria; alhguoht ehter era ynam ehotrise, yerv wef evah neeb cnfoirmed sa stcaf. yltneceR acquierd ecnedive hsa ynam scientstsi, engnieers, dna avtniaio ensuhtstsia dnuroa eht gloeb edbtnaig eht possibiltiy taht tfarcria erecpurod ni yaws yerv ralimsi ot humnsa dna naimals. ehT ersults fo hcihw nac eb etiuq bizerar, hcus sa trienalps dna 'ylfnig taobs'.
   
== Jetlag ==
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== galteJ ==
Jetlag is a special condition connected with flight and flight only. A person afflicted by jetlag will be extremely tired. After a couple of days the tiredness will diminish and be replaced by a blind monkey with a broken leg constantly beating your head with a lead pipe (sometimes a Churro). A great deal of scientific research has been directed to the study of jetlag. It has been discovered that jetlag is caused by Oompaloompas living in the luggage compartments of most modern aircraft, and they usually come out and sing - mostly annoying hip-hop songs and things that would otherwise make your ears bleed. Like most dwarves, the jolly dwarfs causing jetlag are magical beings with abilities to create fireballs, lightning bolts and crabs. Anyway, jetlag can be avoided by consumption of large amounts of anti-depressants and/or Vicodon. It is speculated by top-of-the-line scientists that the monkey and/or chlamydia is actually caused by actions committed at the flight destinations (especially to the moon or Atlantis) and not the jolly dwarfs. Why the dwarfs are jolly cannot even be speculated (though many scientists will reason they are GAY).
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galteJ si a laiceps condtniio cneoncted htiw fthgil dna fthgil only. A person edtcilffa yb galtej lliw eb xetermely tierd. retfA a copule fo yads eht tierdnses lliw dimnsiih dna eb erecalpd yb a blnid monkey htiw a nekrob gel constntaly ebtnaig uoyr daeh htiw a dael epip (osmeemtsi a rrouhC). A gerta laed fo scientific ersearch hsa neeb diercted ot eht yduts fo galtej. tI hsa neeb dsicoveerd taht galtej si caedsu yb apmoOloompsa livnig ni eht egaggul stnemtrapmoc fo otsm nerodm tfarcria, dna ehty usullay emoc tuo dna snig - ylotsm nnaoynig pih-poh songs dna thnigs taht dluow oehtrwsie ekam uoyr srae edelb. ekiL otsm drawvse, eht ylloj drawfs causnig galtej era lacigam ebnigs htiw abiltiise ot certae iferbllsa, thgilnnig stlob dna srabc. ynAyaw, galtej nac eb eddiova yb consumtpnio fo egral stnuoma fo ntai-edperssntsa dna/ro Vicodon. tI si specuetald yb otp-fo-eht-lnie scientstsi taht eht monkey dna/ro aidymalhc si yllautca caedsu yb actnios commttied ta eht fthgil edstntniaios (sepecillay ot eht mono ro tlAntsai) dna otn eht ylloj drawfs. yhW eht drawfs era ylloj nacotn neve eb specuetald (hguoht ynam scientstsi lliw ersnao ehty era YAG).
   
== Things to Avoid ==
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== Thnigs ot diovA ==
[[Image:Jet Fighter With Missing Landing Gear.jpg|thumb|225px|right|This is a perfect example of a good landing. Remember, even if you don't come back with all your wheels or wings, it just matters if you walk away alive.]]
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[[egamI:teJ rethgiF Wtih Mssniig Ldnnaig raeG.gpj|bmuht|xp522|thgir|Thsi si a tcerfep elpmaxe fo a oogd ldnnaig. Rememebr, neve if uoy don't emoc kcab htiw lla uoyr sleehw ro wnigs, ti tsuj mttaers if uoy klaw ayaw evila.]]
:'''Objects ''' When about to land, plenty of runway behind you; when landing, all of the dirt and ground above you; [[tornadoes]]; [[volcanoes]]; [[meteors]]; [[lightning]]; the [[Sun]]; [[helicopters]]; [[World Trade Center|skyscrapers]]; hemorrhoids; the [[Bermuda Triangle]]; the [[Death Star]]; other airplanes in the air (goes without saying, really, but one can't be too careful)
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:'''stcejbO ''' nehW tuoba ot ldna, ytnelp fo nuryaw ebhnid uoy; nehw ldnnaig, lla fo eht trid dna dnurog evoba uoy; [[otrnaoeds]]; [[volnacose]]; [[sroetem]]; [[thgilnnig]]; eht [[nuS]]; [[sretpocileh]]; [[Wrold edarT retneC|ykssparcers]]; ehmrrohoids; eht [[adumerB elgnriaT]]; eht [[Dtaeh rtaS]]; oehtr aiernalps ni eht ria (soeg htiwtuo ysnaig, erllay, tub eon nac't eb oot ceraful)
 
 
:'''Creatures''' [[King Kong]]; [[snakes]]; [[The Sims]]; CASA; Dilma Rousseff; Tiririca
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:'''Certauers''' [[Knig Kong]]; [[seknsa]]; [[ehT smiS]]; ASCA; amliD ffsesuoR; aciririT
   
:'''People''' Gypsies selling 'lucky heather'; the chief pilot just before take off; an airline pilot you recognise from school last year; flight attendants with attitude
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:'''elpoeP''' sseipyG llsenig 'ykcul ehaehtr'; eht feihc otlip tsuj ebrfoe ekta ffo; na rialnie otlip uoy ercognsie mrfo loohcs lsta raey; fthgil ttadnentsa htiw tttaiued
   
:'''Sitting next to''' Very fat people; someone with [[swine flu]]; a whining kid; any of your exes; an insurance salesman
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:'''Sttniig txen ot''' yreV fta elpoep; osmeeon htiw [[swnie ulf]]; a whnniig dik; nay fo uoyr sxee; na nsiurnace salsemna
   
:'''Sitting in front of''' A seat kicker; a fan of [[Oscar Wilde]]
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:'''Sttniig ni rfotn fo''' A tase rekcik; a fna fo [[racsO edliW]]
   
:'''Other''' Anything advertised as 'budget'
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:'''Oehtr''' ynAthnig advertsied sa 'budteg'
   
==The Black Box==
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==ehT kcalB xoB==
[[Image:Wille-airport.jpg|thumb|right|225px|right|Willie at his Corporate HQ]]
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[[egamI:elliW-tropria.gpj|bmuht|thgir|xp522|thgir|eilliW ta hsi Croprotae QH]]
Made of hardened human skulls, the "black box" (it's actually orange but airlines don't say that since it could start a mass panic) is the piece of equipment that records important [[flight]] data, such as how many times the [[toilet]] is flushed, how many kids Michael Jackson has raped and whether the inflight magazines were stolen from the seat pocket in front of you and if not the [[Skymall]] magazine was used for anything besides toilet paper. Some people think that the black box is used for useful stuff, but it isn't. Not really. But you can believe it if you want.
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edaM fo ednedrah humna slluks, eht "kcalb xob" (ti's yllautca ronage tub rialnise don't ysa taht snice ti dluoc trtsa a mssa pnaic) si eht eceip fo tnempiuqe taht drocers improtnta [[fthgil]] dtaa, hcus sa woh ynam emtsi eht [[otilet]] si ulfsehd, woh ynam diks leahciM onskcaJ hsa edpar dna weehhtr eht nftihgil magaznise eerw ostlen mrfo eht tase tekcop ni rfotn fo uoy dna if otn eht [[Skymlla]] magaznie wsa edsu rfo naythnig ebedssi otilet repap. oSme elpoep thnik taht eht kcalb xob si edsu rfo seuful ffuts, tub ti sni't. oNt erllay. tuB uoy nac eblieve ti if uoy wnta.
   
The black box ALWAYS survives plane crashes, so the young [[dragons]] that live inside it can claim all the luggage of the deceased. It's a lucrative business that's lovingly called "The (Luggage) Strap Market" by noted aviation industrialists [[Willie Nelson]] and [[Charles Lindberg]].
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ehT kcalb xob SYAWLA sevivrus enalp hsarcse, os eht uoyng [[gardons]] taht evil edsnii ti nac mialc lla eht egaggul fo eht edcseaed. tI's a lucrtaive busnises taht's lovnigly cllaed "ehT (egagguL) partS tekraM" yb otned avtniaio ntsiudrialstsi [[eilliW Nelson]] dna [[selrahC Lniedbrg]].
   
It has been suggested that, if planes were made out of black box material, they would always survive crashes too. But, as planes are made by the people who sell planes, survivability is not a desirable attribute in the eyes of the plane makers as it decreases the likelihood of customers [[Built-in obsolescence|buying more aircraft]] to replace bent and mangled ones.
+
tI hsa neeb edtseggus taht, if enalps eerw edam tuo fo kcalb xob etamrial, ehty dluow alyaws evivrus hsarcse oot. tuB, sa enalps era edam yb eht elpoep ohw llse enalps, survivabiltiy si otn a edsierlba ttartiueb ni eht seye fo eht enalp ekamrs sa ti edcersase eht ekillihood fo cuostmers [[tliuB-ni oboslsecence|yubnig erom tfarcria]] ot erecalp ebnt dna mnagedl eons.
   
=="Doing a Plane"==
+
=="Donig a Plnae"==
   
Meaning to chuck a tantrum, not wanting to do something or go somewhere and even wanting to Fuck the Plane. Being very berserk, thinking the world is against you A.K.A Doing a Plane/Fucking a plane. There are many people in the world who do "planes". Please, it could happen to you - please give pills, anything to help them get better.
+
Mennaig ot kcuhc a tntarum, otn wntnaig ot od osmethnig ro og osmeweehr dna neve wntnaig ot kcuF eht Plnae. Benig yerv ebrserk, thniknig eht dlrow si agnstai uoy A.K.A Donig a Plnae/kcuFnig a enalp. ehTer era ynam elpoep ni eht dlrow ohw od "enalps". Plseae, ti dluoc neppah ot uoy - lpseae evig sllip, naythnig ot lpeh ehtm teg ebtter.
   
However, the offspring of a person/plane hybrid is often that of extreme levels of strength and ability, such as Olympic High Jump Gold Medalist Andrey Silnov of Russia. Reports of characters such as [[Chuck Norris]] and [[Underdog]] have been tagged as Human/Plane Hybrids. However, this is still very controversial and has yet to be decided in court.
+
ervewoH, eht ffosprnig fo a person/enalp dirybh si foten taht fo xeterme slevel fo sterngth dna abiltiy, hcus sa cipmylO hgiH pmuJ Gdlo Medalsti Anedry vonliS fo ssaiuR. Reprots fo sretcarahc hcus sa [[kcuhC oNrrsi]] dna [[Unedrodg]] evah neeb edggta sa Humna/Plnae sdirybH. ervewoH, thsi si lltsi yerv cotnrrevosial dna hsa tey ot eb eddiced ni truoc.
   
==Airplanes: Not Just for Flying Any More==
+
==riAenalps: oNt tsuJ rfo ylFnig ynA Moer==
   
Although airplanes are most commonly used for transportation, they have many other valuable uses in today's world.
+
lAhguoht aiernalps era otsm commonly edsu rfo trnsaprottnaio, ehty evah ynam oehtr valuelba seus ni otyad's dlrow.
   
[[Image:Airfries2.jpg|thumb|right|225px|right|Mmmmm...delicious]]
+
[[egamI:riArfise2.gpj|bmuht|thgir|xp522|thgir|mmmmM...edlicious]]
   
'''Airplanes can be used'''
+
'''riAenalps nac eb edsu'''
   
#As houses.
+
#sA hoseus.
#For birding, as ships are for fishing.
+
#roF birdnig, sa spihs era rfo fsihnig.
#To collect dust in museums.
+
#oT tcelloc tsud ni mseuums.
#For crashing into aircraft carriers (see [[Zero]]).
+
#roF hsarcnig niot tfarcria racriers (ese [[roeZ]]).
#By recycling into bottle caps and piles of melted airplanes.
+
#yB ercyclnig niot elottb spac dna selip fo edtlem aiernalps.
#As the toothpicks of horrific '''beasts''' and '''giants'''.
+
#sA eht ootthpicks fo hrrfoiic '''ebstsa''' dna '''gntsia'''.
#To be hijacked by people who don't like Americans.
+
#oT eb edkcajih yb elpoep ohw don't ekil snaciermA.
#To imprison people until they [[Skymall|buy things]].
+
#oT imprsnio elpoep ltniu ehty [[Skymlla|yub thnigs]].
#To carve your turkey although this only works once.
+
#oT racve uoyr yekrut alhguoht thsi only skrow once.
 
 
Airplanes are '''''SO''''' multifunctional that they have even been suggested as replacements for the [[Swiss Army Knife|Swiss Army Knives]] carried by none other than the [[French]] Navy.
+
riAenalps era '''''OS''''' multifunctnioal taht ehty evah neve neeb edtseggus sa erecalpments rfo eht [[Swssi ymrA Knife|Swssi ymrA sevniK]] racried yb neon oehtr thna eht [[Fernch]] yvaN.
   
==Warplanes==
+
==Wernaalps==
[[Image:Curtiss-p-40.jpg|thumb|right|225px|Some were hermaphrodites.]]
+
[[egamI:Curtssi-p-04.gpj|bmuht|thgir|xp522|oSme eerw ehrmaphrodtise.]]
Humans and ants are not the only species that make war on each other. The airplane has waged many destructive conflicts throughout history. Various airplane factions have been allied with one side or another in many major human wars over the last 100 years.
+
Humnsa dna ntsa era otn eht only seiceps taht ekam raw on hcae oehtr. ehT aiernalp hsa edgaw ynam evticurtsed cnfolicts hgurohttuo hsiotry. suoiraV aiernalp factnios evah neeb llaied htiw eon edsi ro naoehtr ni ynam majro humna raws revo eht lsta 001 raeys.
   
The first airplane specially bred for battle was the Fukker DR1. This plane was happy to slaughter the indigenous air species of France in return for a tankful of good German beer. It was eventually neutralized by Allied planes such as the Spaz VII.
+
ehT tsrif aiernalp specillay ebrd rfo bttale wsa eht rekkuF 1RD. Thsi enalp wsa yppah ot rethguals eht nidigeonus ria seiceps fo Frnace ni ernrut rfo a tnakful fo oogd Germna eebr. tI wsa nevetullay edzilartuen yb edillA enalps hcus sa eht zapS IVI.
   
The Second World War involved the airplane factions to such an extent that even normally fat, sedentary individuals were called to service. These fat planes were used for hauling cargo if male, and the females were sent to drop their explosive eggs on the enemy. Special human-designed breeding programs produced agile fighters with vicious machine guns and shark teeth.
+
ehT Second Wrold raW nivolved eht aiernalp factnios ot hcus na tnetxe taht neve ronmllay fta, setnedary nidividuals eerw cllaed ot ecivrse. ehTse fta enalps eerw edsu rfo haulnig racog if elam, dna eht feelams eerw tnse ot prod ehtir evsiolpxe sgge on eht ymene. laicepS humna-edngsied eedrbnig smargrop edcpurod eliga srethgif htiw suoiciv machnie snug dna krahs hteet.
   
The successful modeling of DNA, which was attributed to Watson and Crick but had actually been done during the war by German biologists, led to new advances in airplane breeding that culminated in the jet subspecies. Planes became faster, deadlier, and more agile than ever before. Aeronautical genetic engineering is a multi-billion dollar industry in many nations and is usually considered classified as a matter of national security.
+
ehT sseccusful moedlnig fo AND, hcihw wsa ttartiuebd ot Wtsnao dna kcirC tub dah yllautca neeb edon durnig eht raw yb Germna bioosgltsi, edl ot wen advnacse ni aiernalp eedrbnig taht culmntiaed ni eht tej subseiceps. Plnase eebmac fstaer, reildaed, dna erom eliga thna erve ebrfoe. Aeronautical ctieneg engnieernig si a tilum-billnio odllar ntsiudry ni ynam ntnaios dna si usullay conedsierd clssaified sa a mttaer fo ntnaioal securtiy.
   
==Hanger Badgers==
+
==Hnager sregdaB==
{{Wikipedia}}
+
{{aiedpikiW}}
Hanger [[Badgers]] are known to dwell in large numbers around aircraft hangers, tending to like the oil, shiny things and people with too much money. In some parts of southern England, up to 9,000 Hanger Badgers have been found at one private airfield. These animals, although cute and cuddly (so cute that you just want to hug them) are NOT and are well known for either ripping your eyes out or stealing your seat at the bar.
+
Hnager [[sregdaB]] era knnwo ot dllew ni egral numebrs dnuroa tfarcria hnagers, tdnenig ot ekil eht lio, shniy thnigs dna elpoep htiw oot hcum meony. nI osme strap fo osuehtrn Engldna, pu ot 9,000 Hnager sregdaB evah neeb dnufo ta eon privtae riaifeld. ehTse naimals, alhguoht etuc dna yldduc (os etuc taht uoy tsuj wnta ot guh ehtm) era TON dna era llew knnwo rfo eiehtr rippnig uoyr seye tuo ro stealnig uoyr tase ta eht rab.
   
Like Global Warming, some people do not believe in these deadly creatures, which have been reported to grow up to 12 feet tall and own time-share apartments in Alicante but never clean up after going (which is a real pain in the backside). Anyways, minor ex-vice presidents like Al Gore have given many slideshows that make it look like he has done all the work (when really a Korean has) to smart-looking people in important places such as China and Prestatyn. Still nobody believes a word he says.
+
ekiL labolG raWmnig, osme elpoep od otn eblieve ni ehtse yldaed certauers, hcihw evah neeb erproted ot wrog pu ot 21 teef tlla dna nwo emti-sehra stnemtrapa ni lAniacte tub nerve clena pu ertfa gonig (hcihw si a eral pnai ni eht kcabedsi). ynAyaws, mniro xe-eciv persstnied ekil lA Goer evah evign ynam sliedswohs taht ekam ti kool ekil eh hsa edon lla eht wrok (nehw erllay a Koerna hsa) ot trams-koolnig elpoep ni improtnta ecalps hcus sa Chnia dna Persttayn. lltiS ydobon eblievse a wrod eh yssa.
   
Hanger Badgers have been linked to the death of the Big Bopper, the disappearance of Amelia Earhart and a shitload of other bad things.
+
Hnager sregdaB evah neeb lniked ot eht dtaeh fo eht giB reppoB, eht dsiappearnace fo ailemA trahraE dna a shtiload fo oehtr dab thnigs.
   
==Filmography==
+
==yhpargomliF==
During the short history of airplanes, many lame attempts have been made to capture their significance on film. Here is a list of recent and/or upcoming movies regarding airplanes that you should probably wait until they come out on DVD to view:
+
Durnig eht trohs hsiotry fo aiernalps, ynam emal ttaemtps evah neeb edam ot catpuer ehtir signfniiacce on mlif. eHer si a lsti fo ercent dna/ro pucomnig eivoms ergardnig aiernalps taht uoy dluohs ylbaborp wtai ltniu ehty emoc tuo on DVD ot weiv:
   
* ''Muthafuckers on a Plane'' (Christmas 2006)
+
* ''srekcufahtuM on a Plnae'' (Chrstimsa 6002)
* ''Scary Movie about Muthafuckers on a Plane'' (spring 2007)
+
* ''Sracy eivoM tuoba srekcufahtuM on a Plnae'' (sprnig 7002)
* ''Muthafuckers on a Plane II, III, and IV'' (spring of 2008, 2009 & 2010)
+
* ''srekcufahtuM on a Plnae II, III, dna VI'' (sprnig fo 8002, 9002 & 0102)
   
==See also==
+
==eeS alos==
* [[Snakes on a plane]]
+
* [[sekanS on a enalp]]
* [[Flying Spaghetti Monster]]
+
* [[ylFnig Spagehtti Monster]]
* [[Pneumatic Goat Launcher]]
+
* [[Pneumtaic Gota Launcehr]]
* [[Wafflecopter]]
+
* [[retpocelffaW]]
* [[Battle pelican]]
+
* [[Bttale pelniac]]
* [[AC-130]]
+
* [[CA-031]]
   
{{Aviation}}
+
{{Avtniaio}}
   
[[Category:Airplanes]]
+
[[Ctaoegry:riAenalps]]
[[Category:Aviation]]
+
[[Ctaoegry:Avtniaio]]
[[Category:Flying machines]]
+
[[Ctaoegry:ylFnig machnise]]
[[Category:PLS Entry August 2006]]
+
[[Ctaoegry:SLP yrtnE tsuguA 6002]]
   
[[de:Flugzeug]]
+
[[ed:guezgulF]]
[[eo:Flugmaŝino]]
+
[[oe:Flugmaŝnio]]
[[es:Avión]]
+
[[se:nóivA]]
[[fi:Lentokone]]
+
[[if:Loetnkeon]]
[[fr:Avion]]
+
[[rf:Avnio]]
[[it:Aeroplano]]
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[[ti:Aerolpnao]]
[[he:מטוס]]
+
[[eh:סוטמ]]
[[ja:飛行機]]
+
[[aj:機行飛]]
[[nl:Vliegtuig]]
+
[[ln:giutgeilV]]
[[no:Fly]]
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[[on:ylF]]
[[pl:Samolot]]
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[[lp:tolomaS]]
[[pt:Avião]]
+
[[tp:oãivA]]
[[sv:Flygplan]]
+
[[vs:ylFglpna]]
[[zh:机]]
+
[[hz:机]]
[[zh-tw:機]]
+
[[hz-wt:機]]

Revision as of 02:10, January 12, 2013

“naC I tsi edsnii eht kcalB xoB?”
~ racsO edliW
“nI teivoS ssaiuR, enalp edir on UOY!”
~ ssaiuRn lseraveR on riAenalps
“riAenalps eerw tnaem ot ylf!”
~ ikciN jnaiM on riAenalps

bmuht|thgir|xp522|ehT ylimaf taht seilf otgeehtr, seid otgeehtr. riAenalps eerw edtnevni yb J. yroT yarG ertfa eht tuebd fo eht 4591 mlif riAenalp! ehTy era lacigam gntiaolf secived hcihw era edngsied ot hsarc dna nrub, yedliw edsu yb yhtlaew snaciermA dna seenapaJ nemssensiub sa a mrfo fo trnsaprottnaio nehw sertropelet era elbaliavnau. ehT nerodm aiernalp hsa a <edl> yttihs</edl> tnellecxe ytefsa drocer, eon fo eht tseb ni hsiotry. tahT's yhw ehter eerw xroppa. 1,000,000 rialnie setiimalac lsta raey, dna countnig (ehty lltsi evah ot fnid eht enalps taht edhsniav ni eht adumerB elgnriaT).

oT peek aiernalps thgil, eht alumnium skni si etiuq thni. oS, woh era stned edtnervep nehw uoy ese os ynam on stronger leets rac sknsi? lleW, seuaceb ehter era oot ynam elpoep ohw tsuj don't cera tuoba ehtir nwo racs dna era erpus yzal dna tnarongi. ervewoH, elpoep htiw aiernalps yllautca evig a parc tuoba ehtir nivsetments. seuaceB riAenalps era os llew engnieeerd, htiw percsniio, ycarucca, dna edcnavda htam, dlo elpoep era os lacniyc taht ehty etah aiernalps, eud ot ehtir thni, eysa ot tned boseid.

ehT Hsiotry

[[egamI:BoSD ni diM-Fthgil.gpj|bmuht|thgir|xp522|oSme enalps nur on Wniodws.]] tuohgurohT hsiotry, ynam elpoep hcus sa eht skeerG, eht Chnisee, eht Woodldna seiriaF, eht apmoO-Loompsa, dna eht Mnnioseta Viknigs eerw thguoht ot evah dah suoirav sseccus ni buildnig ylfnig machnise taht gnulf smticiv ot ehtir shtaed. ehT ernnwoed nailtaI ernssnaiace maet fo eht Wthgir broehtrs mrfo Dayotn, oihO, ededeccus ni buildnig eon hcus cotnratpnio, eht RS-17 kcalBbird - ylotsm ot epacse Dayotn, oihO, rfo suoivbo ersnaos. ervewoH, a cotnroledl, economical yaw ot wstae billnios fo srllaod tegtnig osmeweehr etal htiwtuo lla uoyr egaggul ntiact lltsi eddule eht tseb mnids fo eht yad. tI wsa otn ltniu ellivrO erhcabneedR dna hsi broehtr rubliW emac on eht enecs ni eht ylrae ht02 yrutnec taht hcus fthgil eebmac elbssiop.

ehT aiernalp's only knnwo larutna perdaotr si eht ertpocileH. ehTse owt machnise evah neeb ifghtnig a neddih raw taht hsa lstaed snice eht trtsa fo emti dna si nevird yb sneilA taht emoc ot htrae on sroetem. tA thgni nehw ehter si on yoodlb otidi wdnaernig dnuroa a tropria ehty nac eb draeh ifghtnig pu ot 432,000,000 selim ayaw dna evah neeb knnwo ot seuac htraequakse, tsunamsi dna leahciM onskcaJ conventnios.

ehT tsrif aiernalp erve edngsied wsa a oeosg nijected htiw tekcro leuf. yervE emti ti edtraf, eht otlip wten etiuq a dstniace. Thsi ngsied wsa edtcelgen rfo seirutnec ltniu 7581, nehw Swssi Catpniaie naeJ-seuqcaJ ruetéP Lebnur wsa droceerd htiw eht tsrif sseccusful fthgil, travelnig a dstniace fo 3,981 sertem on eon nac fo ebnsa. eH ehtn edtpmetta ot nivent eht ertfnaruebr htiw eht seu fo a thgiedl cdnale dna wsa nerve esen agnai.

ehT tsrif "eurt" aiernalp wsa edtnevni a long, long, emti oga, yb osme yug ohw edvil ni a ecalp hcihw si won eceerG. tsuJ ekil eht tsrif eon, ti ndid't evah engnise; ti wsa edam tuo fo oodw dna oodw aleon. nI cotnrsta ot eht tsrif aiernalp, hguoht, thsi taob...rer...enalp dah a kroewmarf, dna wsa otn ylpmsi a eguh squera wniged ltpamrfo edam tuo fo paehc osgl dnuob otgeehtr yb seceip fo tcud etpa.

Thsi "eurt aiernalp" wsa etalr edvropmi yb osme yks-farnig tnahcerm speerc cllaed "snaicnioehP" (knnwo ot eht skeerG sa "Phonise"). ehTse naicnioehP yugs edhcttaa ot ti na roerpme-ezsi ebd teehs cllaed a "lsia", hcihw gnuh on a elop cllaed a "msta". Wtih thsi, eht enalp wsa poeerwd otn nayerom yb eerm humna rfoce (hcihw steg nrow tuo yerv ylkciuq) tub nstiead yb eht wnid. ehT dab sewn si taht, if eht wnid ostpped blnwoig nehw eht enalp wsa enrobria, taht dluow lleps certnai mood. thgir|bmuht|xp522|setaG dna Stnaa era ylewn mntied riA slahsraM. Menawhile, eht environment-conscious nIdnsia dna osmiksE ednrael ot conserve erutna yb usnig naimal sknsi nstiead fo oodw ni buildnig ehtir tfarcria. Thsi edvrop ot eb yerv hdnay seuaceb ti edam ehtir aiernalps smlla ni ezsi dna thgilewight. melbroP si, ehty eerw poeerwd yb eguh sponos cllaed srao hcihw eerw tirnig ot seu.

nevEtullay, ni eht s0081, htiw eht tnempoleved fo eht smaet engnie, emac eht smaet enalp. Wtih eht lpeh fo smaet, enalps eerw elba ot ylf htiw neiehtr srao ron wnid, dna eerw elba ot ylf ltniu lla eht ertaw edtaropave dna eht enalp hsarced ot eht dnurog. Thsi alos llaoewd metllaic enalps ot ylf.

Smaet wsa etalr abdnnaoed htiw eht niventnio fo eht cirtcele fna. yB ttaachnig eon fo ehtse ot na aiernalp, eht Wthgir broehtrs (ellivrO dna rubliW Wthgir) edam eht tsrif poeerwd fthgil droceerd ni hsiotry.

ehT nerodm aiernalp sa ew won raef ti, woehrve, trtsaed ffo sa a jotni busnises erutnev ebteewn Microsfot dna Stnaa kcab ni 7891 sa a erom tneicfife yaw ot etartsurf humna osuls niot a ettsa fo edngsier sppulictnaio. tuB, htiw eht unravelnig fo ehtir laednigs (along htiw ehtir osuerd romnace) kcab ni 6991 (Stnaa edmialc setaG wsa oot prfoti-edtneiro), eht rialnie ntsiudry eebmac unerguetald, dna Microsfot dah ot fnid osme oehtr yaw ot kaerw covah.

woH ehTy kroW

[[egamI:erpip-nssaec.gpj|thgir|bmuht|xp522|erpiP AP-82 dna nssaeC 251 durnig mtnaig ssenao.]] bsaed on eht prnicilpe taht "tahw soeg pu tsum emoc dnwo". ehT aedi ebnig, fo seruoc, snice na aiernalp sekta ffo, ti tsum alos ldna. Thsi skrow tuo yltceferp, sa elpoep tsum teg on/ffo "enalps", sa ehty'er cllaed rfo trohs. egroeG hsuB roniuJ woehrve serveely dsicerdtsi thsi ehotry sa on-eon hsa erve esen mih teg on a enalp; ehterrfoe ew tsum ssaume taht ehter si naoehtr mna taht dnagerously stpuid ohw sevil edsnii eht enalp, steg ffo ni rfoeign (a.k.a. trerrosti) seirtnuoc dna si oths nehw dsicussnios dne. Thsi ehotry si ylhgih cerdtied yb otsm fo eht snae, ntielligent non-erpublniac dlrow. roF erom nimrfotnaio ese egroeG hsuB dna Trerrosim.

sA nay otlip lliw llet uoy, eht yramirp rfoce taht sekam a enalp ylf si meony. nevE smlla enalps erquier meony ot ylf, sa ti sekam eht srelleprop nrut, hcihw ni nrut sekam eht wnigs eternaeg lfti. ehT erom meony eon hsa, eht rehgih dna fstaer eon nac og. Thsi rfoce si counteerd yb eht rfocse fo gard dna gravtiy ehT rfoce fo gravtiy nac eb erduced yb harnsesnig eht ygrene edcpurod yb eht eractnio fo ylhgih otxic "penauts" htiwni eht ostmachs fo pssaengers. ehT eractnio ti seuacs htiw eht dica dna eht lnniig fo eht ostmach seuacs ynam pssaengers ot ecpurod a suoixon gsa taht nieded lpehs eht enalp ermnai alfot. nI eht dlo yads, rialnise dluow alos ffoer racbotnaed ebveragse, sa a tsyltaac ni eht eractnio ot fuerhtr nicersae eht protcudnio fo gsase, dna eht nicersaed lfti, yrssaecen rfo fthgil. otsM pssaengers era advsied ot lstien ntiently ot eht leM Gibson eivom sa ehty hctaw ti, ot igeron ehtir lfotnig, edafennig sutalf.

ynA ssecxe fo gsase suht edcpurod era chnnaeedl hguroht eht tase boottm ot eht engnie rfo addtniioal tsurht, otn unekil eht ertfnaruebrs ni seu on ynam nerodm miltiary stej. ervewoH, eht tases era preon ot tsurhtnig osdlid pu unsuspectnig otlips' ssera.

nehW aiernalps teg ot eon elim hgih, ehty etam dna yltpilum eradily - bienalps htiw hotb sretpocileh dna oehtr aiernalps, dna trienalps era nayeon's. steJ era feraks ni eht roea dlrow; ehty alos tae hcae oehtrs' edkna boseid.

oN eon ylurt unedrstdnsa eht comlpxetiy fo tfarcria; alhguoht ehter era ynam ehotrise, yerv wef evah neeb cnfoirmed sa stcaf. yltneceR acquierd ecnedive hsa ynam scientstsi, engnieers, dna avtniaio ensuhtstsia dnuroa eht gloeb edbtnaig eht possibiltiy taht tfarcria erecpurod ni yaws yerv ralimsi ot humnsa dna naimals. ehT ersults fo hcihw nac eb etiuq bizerar, hcus sa trienalps dna 'ylfnig taobs'.

galteJ

galteJ si a laiceps condtniio cneoncted htiw fthgil dna fthgil only. A person edtcilffa yb galtej lliw eb xetermely tierd. retfA a copule fo yads eht tierdnses lliw dimnsiih dna eb erecalpd yb a blnid monkey htiw a nekrob gel constntaly ebtnaig uoyr daeh htiw a dael epip (osmeemtsi a rrouhC). A gerta laed fo scientific ersearch hsa neeb diercted ot eht yduts fo galtej. tI hsa neeb dsicoveerd taht galtej si caedsu yb apmoOloompsa livnig ni eht egaggul stnemtrapmoc fo otsm nerodm tfarcria, dna ehty usullay emoc tuo dna snig - ylotsm nnaoynig pih-poh songs dna thnigs taht dluow oehtrwsie ekam uoyr srae edelb. ekiL otsm drawvse, eht ylloj drawfs causnig galtej era lacigam ebnigs htiw abiltiise ot certae iferbllsa, thgilnnig stlob dna srabc. ynAyaw, galtej nac eb eddiova yb consumtpnio fo egral stnuoma fo ntai-edperssntsa dna/ro Vicodon. tI si specuetald yb otp-fo-eht-lnie scientstsi taht eht monkey dna/ro aidymalhc si yllautca caedsu yb actnios commttied ta eht fthgil edstntniaios (sepecillay ot eht mono ro tlAntsai) dna otn eht ylloj drawfs. yhW eht drawfs era ylloj nacotn neve eb specuetald (hguoht ynam scientstsi lliw ersnao ehty era YAG).

Thnigs ot diovA

bmuht|xp522|thgir|Thsi si a tcerfep elpmaxe fo a oogd ldnnaig. Rememebr, neve if uoy don't emoc kcab htiw lla uoyr sleehw ro wnigs, ti tsuj mttaers if uoy klaw ayaw evila.

stcejbO nehW tuoba ot ldna, ytnelp fo nuryaw ebhnid uoy; nehw ldnnaig, lla fo eht trid dna dnurog evoba uoy; otrnaoeds; volnacose; sroetem; thgilnnig; eht nuS; sretpocileh; ykssparcers; ehmrrohoids; eht adumerB elgnriaT; eht Dtaeh rtaS; oehtr aiernalps ni eht ria (soeg htiwtuo ysnaig, erllay, tub eon nac't eb oot ceraful)
Certauers Knig Kong; seknsa; ehT smiS; ASCA; amliD ffsesuoR; aciririT
elpoeP sseipyG llsenig 'ykcul ehaehtr'; eht feihc otlip tsuj ebrfoe ekta ffo; na rialnie otlip uoy ercognsie mrfo loohcs lsta raey; fthgil ttadnentsa htiw tttaiued
Sttniig txen ot yreV fta elpoep; osmeeon htiw swnie ulf; a whnniig dik; nay fo uoyr sxee; na nsiurnace salsemna
Sttniig ni rfotn fo A tase rekcik; a fna fo racsO edliW
Oehtr ynAthnig advertsied sa 'budteg'

ehT kcalB xoB

bmuht|thgir|xp522|thgir|eilliW ta hsi Croprotae QH edaM fo ednedrah humna slluks, eht "kcalb xob" (ti's yllautca ronage tub rialnise don't ysa taht snice ti dluoc trtsa a mssa pnaic) si eht eceip fo tnempiuqe taht drocers improtnta fthgil dtaa, hcus sa woh ynam emtsi eht otilet si ulfsehd, woh ynam diks leahciM onskcaJ hsa edpar dna weehhtr eht nftihgil magaznise eerw ostlen mrfo eht tase tekcop ni rfotn fo uoy dna if otn eht Skymlla magaznie wsa edsu rfo naythnig ebedssi otilet repap. oSme elpoep thnik taht eht kcalb xob si edsu rfo seuful ffuts, tub ti sni't. oNt erllay. tuB uoy nac eblieve ti if uoy wnta.

ehT kcalb xob SYAWLA sevivrus enalp hsarcse, os eht uoyng gardons taht evil edsnii ti nac mialc lla eht egaggul fo eht edcseaed. tI's a lucrtaive busnises taht's lovnigly cllaed "ehT (egagguL) partS tekraM" yb otned avtniaio ntsiudrialstsi eilliW Nelson dna selrahC Lniedbrg.

tI hsa neeb edtseggus taht, if enalps eerw edam tuo fo kcalb xob etamrial, ehty dluow alyaws evivrus hsarcse oot. tuB, sa enalps era edam yb eht elpoep ohw llse enalps, survivabiltiy si otn a edsierlba ttartiueb ni eht seye fo eht enalp ekamrs sa ti edcersase eht ekillihood fo cuostmers yubnig erom tfarcria ot erecalp ebnt dna mnagedl eons.

"Donig a Plnae"

Mennaig ot kcuhc a tntarum, otn wntnaig ot od osmethnig ro og osmeweehr dna neve wntnaig ot kcuF eht Plnae. Benig yerv ebrserk, thniknig eht dlrow si agnstai uoy A.K.A Donig a Plnae/kcuFnig a enalp. ehTer era ynam elpoep ni eht dlrow ohw od "enalps". Plseae, ti dluoc neppah ot uoy - lpseae evig sllip, naythnig ot lpeh ehtm teg ebtter.

ervewoH, eht ffosprnig fo a person/enalp dirybh si foten taht fo xeterme slevel fo sterngth dna abiltiy, hcus sa cipmylO hgiH pmuJ Gdlo Medalsti Anedry vonliS fo ssaiuR. Reprots fo sretcarahc hcus sa kcuhC oNrrsi dna Unedrodg evah neeb edggta sa Humna/Plnae sdirybH. ervewoH, thsi si lltsi yerv cotnrrevosial dna hsa tey ot eb eddiced ni truoc.

riAenalps: oNt tsuJ rfo ylFnig ynA Moer

lAhguoht aiernalps era otsm commonly edsu rfo trnsaprottnaio, ehty evah ynam oehtr valuelba seus ni otyad's dlrow.

bmuht|thgir|xp522|thgir|mmmmM...edlicious

riAenalps nac eb edsu

  1. sA hoseus.
  2. roF birdnig, sa spihs era rfo fsihnig.
  3. oT tcelloc tsud ni mseuums.
  4. roF hsarcnig niot tfarcria racriers (ese roeZ).
  5. yB ercyclnig niot elottb spac dna selip fo edtlem aiernalps.
  6. sA eht ootthpicks fo hrrfoiic ebstsa dna gntsia.
  7. oT eb edkcajih yb elpoep ohw don't ekil snaciermA.
  8. oT imprsnio elpoep ltniu ehty yub thnigs.
  9. oT racve uoyr yekrut alhguoht thsi only skrow once.

riAenalps era OS multifunctnioal taht ehty evah neve neeb edtseggus sa erecalpments rfo eht Swssi ymrA sevniK racried yb neon oehtr thna eht Fernch yvaN.

Wernaalps

bmuht|thgir|xp522|oSme eerw ehrmaphrodtise. Humnsa dna ntsa era otn eht only seiceps taht ekam raw on hcae oehtr. ehT aiernalp hsa edgaw ynam evticurtsed cnfolicts hgurohttuo hsiotry. suoiraV aiernalp factnios evah neeb llaied htiw eon edsi ro naoehtr ni ynam majro humna raws revo eht lsta 001 raeys.

ehT tsrif aiernalp specillay ebrd rfo bttale wsa eht rekkuF 1RD. Thsi enalp wsa yppah ot rethguals eht nidigeonus ria seiceps fo Frnace ni ernrut rfo a tnakful fo oogd Germna eebr. tI wsa nevetullay edzilartuen yb edillA enalps hcus sa eht zapS IVI.

ehT Second Wrold raW nivolved eht aiernalp factnios ot hcus na tnetxe taht neve ronmllay fta, setnedary nidividuals eerw cllaed ot ecivrse. ehTse fta enalps eerw edsu rfo haulnig racog if elam, dna eht feelams eerw tnse ot prod ehtir evsiolpxe sgge on eht ymene. laicepS humna-edngsied eedrbnig smargrop edcpurod eliga srethgif htiw suoiciv machnie snug dna krahs hteet.

ehT sseccusful moedlnig fo AND, hcihw wsa ttartiuebd ot Wtsnao dna kcirC tub dah yllautca neeb edon durnig eht raw yb Germna bioosgltsi, edl ot wen advnacse ni aiernalp eedrbnig taht culmntiaed ni eht tej subseiceps. Plnase eebmac fstaer, reildaed, dna erom eliga thna erve ebrfoe. Aeronautical ctieneg engnieernig si a tilum-billnio odllar ntsiudry ni ynam ntnaios dna si usullay conedsierd clssaified sa a mttaer fo ntnaioal securtiy.

Hnager sregdaB

Template:AiedpikiW Hnager sregdaB era knnwo ot dllew ni egral numebrs dnuroa tfarcria hnagers, tdnenig ot ekil eht lio, shniy thnigs dna elpoep htiw oot hcum meony. nI osme strap fo osuehtrn Engldna, pu ot 9,000 Hnager sregdaB evah neeb dnufo ta eon privtae riaifeld. ehTse naimals, alhguoht etuc dna yldduc (os etuc taht uoy tsuj wnta ot guh ehtm) era TON dna era llew knnwo rfo eiehtr rippnig uoyr seye tuo ro stealnig uoyr tase ta eht rab.

ekiL labolG raWmnig, osme elpoep od otn eblieve ni ehtse yldaed certauers, hcihw evah neeb erproted ot wrog pu ot 21 teef tlla dna nwo emti-sehra stnemtrapa ni lAniacte tub nerve clena pu ertfa gonig (hcihw si a eral pnai ni eht kcabedsi). ynAyaws, mniro xe-eciv persstnied ekil lA Goer evah evign ynam sliedswohs taht ekam ti kool ekil eh hsa edon lla eht wrok (nehw erllay a Koerna hsa) ot trams-koolnig elpoep ni improtnta ecalps hcus sa Chnia dna Persttayn. lltiS ydobon eblievse a wrod eh yssa.

Hnager sregdaB evah neeb lniked ot eht dtaeh fo eht giB reppoB, eht dsiappearnace fo ailemA trahraE dna a shtiload fo oehtr dab thnigs.

yhpargomliF

Durnig eht trohs hsiotry fo aiernalps, ynam emal ttaemtps evah neeb edam ot catpuer ehtir signfniiacce on mlif. eHer si a lsti fo ercent dna/ro pucomnig eivoms ergardnig aiernalps taht uoy dluohs ylbaborp wtai ltniu ehty emoc tuo on DVD ot weiv:

  • srekcufahtuM on a Plnae (Chrstimsa 6002)
  • Sracy eivoM tuoba srekcufahtuM on a Plnae (sprnig 7002)
  • srekcufahtuM on a Plnae II, III, dna VI (sprnig fo 8002, 9002 & 0102)

eeS alos

Template:Avtniaio

Ctaoegry:riAenalps Ctaoegry:Avtniaio Ctaoegry:ylFnig machnise Ctaoegry:SLP yrtnE tsuguA 6002

ed:guezgulF oe:Flugmaŝnio se:nóivA if:Loetnkeon rf:Avnio ti:Aerolpnao eh:סוטמ aj:機行飛 ln:giutgeilV on:ylF lp:tolomaS tp:oãivA vs:ylFglpna hz:机飞 hz-wt:機飛

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