Air conditioner
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
An air conditioner is a mechanical device that harnesses the awesome powers of nuclear energy to make air soft, managable, pert, and bouncy.
Contents |
[edit] Has Your Air Been Conditioned?
Unbeknownst to most people, ordinary air from Mother Nature needs to be treated with all kinds of chemicals, solvents, amino acids, surfactants, emulsifiers, protein inhibitors, pesticides, herbicides, and FD&C yellow #5, and then zapped with powerful lasers just to make it even marginally breathable. Fortunately, today's modern air conditioner does all this (and more) with just a single push of a button. Booklearned scientists with many PhDs and BAs and MBAs and MBTAs and AAAs and NAACPs have conclusively determined that breathing fully-conditioned air is much healthier than smoking a six-pack of beer.
[edit] The Joy of Conditioned Air
Conditioned air may be either enjoyed by breathing it at the source of conversion, or sliced into small cubes and packaged into air-tight containers for later consumption. Conditioned air has a projected shelf life of 
metric fortnights, after which it decomposes into garlic, so pay close attention to the expiration dates.
These ultra-compact air conditioners are used on airplanes to prevent the sky from decompoosing into a huge garlicy mass
[edit] History
The first air conditioners of the early 1990s were gigantic noisy clunking mass-polluting monstrosities, each of which filled a large city block and was only able to condition the air in a single outhouse. Fortunately, Moore's Law prevailed, and it it now possible to instantly terraform the entire atmosphere of Jupiter with one of today's comparatively inexpensive models, which is only twice as big and half as polluting.
