Aha ha

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

(Difference between revisions)
Jump to: navigation, search
m (Reverted edit(s) of Mike the Great (talk) to last version by 74.34.64.211)
m (ChiefjusticeDS moved page I FUCKIN LOVE DICKS 617724 to Aha ha over a redirect without leaving a redirect)
 

Latest revision as of 08:25, January 12, 2013

Waspy

Look at that. Isn't that the funniest thing you've ever seen?

The Aha Ha is the common name for a species of wasp from Australia of the order Hammeburga, suborder Fryes.

edit Nomenclature

Bouncywikilogo6
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Aha ha.

The Aha Ha was named for amateur ornithologist Arny Monk. Aware of wasps' natural abilities as comedians, Monk was in the habit of attending live stand-up performances. Prior to the Equal Rights for Alternatively-Oriented Insects protests of the mid and late 1990s, the majority of wasps performed exclusively at gay bars. Monk's wife, suspicious of his behaviour, had his movements monitored by a private investigator and also by Alison DuCheyne, a part-time Subway Sandwich Artist. Driven insane by the subsequent loss of his wife, Monk became increasingly reclusive. His close friend, noted gastronomist B. B. Buffins, attempted to reverse his withdrawal from society by sending him a specimen of a recently discovered species of wasp possessing a comedic ability that was initially thought to be latent but eventually turning out to be merely non-existent, in the hope that Monk might nurture it. Instead, Monk taught himself to be funny and the resultant unremitting laughter ("AHA HA! AHA HA! AHA HA!") ironically inspired the name for the only species of wasp lacking in comedic talent. Entomologists often refer to this as "the sting in the tale".

edit Physical appearance

Unlike most wasps Aha Ha does not have a stinger. The Aha Ha, in some texts referred to as the "Handyman Wasp", features a small Phillips-head screwdriver at the tip of its abdomen. The abdomen itself has a somewhat "saggy" look to it, to the extent that the animal's rectum is slightly visible at the join between abdomen and thorax. It has great strength for its size, though it also has a comparatively small brain, often leading it to make mistakes in its attempts at nest construction (misjudging the strength of construction materials, building nests without an entrance, etc.). An as yet unidentified gland in the wasp's body can give it a somewhat offensive odour, particular in the summer months.

edit Larvae

The larvae of the Aha Ha are relatively fast-moving and destructive, often reducing gardens to mangled dirt patches in a matter of minutes. Their progress is difficult to track due to their size and speed, even despite the high-pitched whining they make.

edit Adults

The adult Aha Ha is much slower-moving than the larvae. It is attracted to particular sounds and smells; the fumes from high-octane petrol, the yeast component in beer and the vibrational frequency produced by 12-volt power tools are major attractants. Mating rituals involve extended, repetitive dialogue between the male and female using a technique known as "slurring". The mating act lasts around three minutes and the female will usually wake up the following day and give birth to twins.

edit Societal traits

The Aha Ha is unique in that individual wasps seem to partake in a primitive form of barter system. The male has been known to spend weeks at a time performing odd jobs for other wasps in exchange for wood, paper, food and other materials before swapping all of it's hard-earned income for scraps of shiny material with no practical function, which it then attaches to its own nest, usually in inappropriate or intrusive places. Other wasps in the local population will then congregate around the newly upgraded nest until the process is repeated elsewhere.

Personal tools
projects