After the Fire
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“If he talks to you and you don't know why, you say your life is gonna make you die.”
“No, it goes 'Deep in the Dark.'”
“The only thing worse than being famous enough to be covered by After the Fire is being famous enough to be covered by Laura Branigan.”
After the Fire (also known as ATF, Alcohol, Firearms, and Tobacco, and Damnit, That's Not Falco) are a British Christian rock band, best known for extolling the virtues of Our Lord Jesus Christ through a cover of Falco's "Der Kommissar," a song abuse about drug and running away from narcs.
The band was formed in the early 1970s as a prog-rock quartet and released one album in that decade before discovering in 1979 that Jesus wanted them to sell out and pretend to be new wavers.
This led to instant success, in the form of a hit single four years later with the aforementioned Falco cover. Critics lauded the band for their brilliant musicianship, pop sensibilities, and courage to wear the worst hairstyles ever seen on MTV.
Jesus rewarded them for their devotion to spreading His name by seeding dissension among their ranks, and cursing their drummers with testicular cancer, becoming a police officer, and spontaneously exploding on stage.
After converting the last heathen holdouts (America and Mexico) to Christianity on tour in 1985, ATF decided that their work was done and officially called it quits. In 1986, Falco sang some song about a classical composer. Unhappy with his one-hit wonder status, God had Falco killed in 1998, disguising it as a freak ski accident. Since then, there has been world peace and universal dedication to the glory of God.
