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Now Buckwheat is all grown up, man!

This article was dedicated by Afroman to all the whack rappers, and all the whack people who like and buy their whack music.
“I was going to say something, but then I got high.”
~ Oscar Wilde on getting high

Afro Mother Fuckin' M-A-N is a man who can't stand no mother fuckin' Ying Yang Twins. He thinks Little John and the East Side Boys, is an ignorant, irritating bunch of noise (and)If you don't give a damn, go throw it out, What? If you don't give a damn go throw it out... the window, up against the wall, then he laughs when the mother fuckers fall, saying those fools can't rap at all. He'd never buy a tune, from the Neptune, when their beat go on, he hope it go off soon. He asks "Fabulous"? What's fabulous about it? He think it terrible, music unbearable, ripping off Mace with that look on his face, OMG, Afroman rests his case!

edit Afroman on Kelis


You've been wondering who this guy really was, hadn't you? Now you know!

Kelis! Wow, I hate her so much right now, "her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard"? Who gave you her record deal, oh my god! Nas is in the video with Kelis. Jay-Z's in the video with Beyonce, both of these rappers are whack to him, yet people talk smack about Forty Belafonte? What Afroman is talking about is anyone's guess, but he does admit he got high, and repeats that line a lot!

edit Afroman on Cameron

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Afroman.

Afroman believes the music industry is using the slang, and trying to play it off, like they doing their thang. He said come-on, Cameron. Oh-boy, Dipsit?, Oh-boy. How can you be from a city so black, and bust shitty lyrics that's whick-whick-whack?

edit Back on Kelis

Now to get back on Kelis. This is what Afroman want u to do: Get on your knees and face me, I got a milkshake for u and it's tasty.... Just like your album!

edit Puff Daddy Is Whack as R&B singers, Man

Afroman stated that "Puff Daddy, it was enough already. Even tho wow it's P.Diddy, it still sound shitty. How your can your group be called "The Band" when nobody plays an instrument man?"

Afroman believes he is uncovering a conspiracy with that statement. He told the press that "I don't play, B2K, R&B singers, be too gay. You know they broke up over money. That's too bad, Afroman don't care, he think it's good, no doubt, so they can stop putting all that bullshit out."

Like what? Afroman's analysis on Kelis words in her song... What a girl wants, what a girl needs, a fucking job and a brand new hair weave! What a girl wants, what a girl needs, a fucking job and a brand new hair weave, oh bump-bump-bump...that is all I want to do. bump-bump-bump. That's her song? That's what she wrote down on a piece of paper?... "bump-bump-bump?" I bet she will call up Puff Daddy, and ask him if he wants to do a verse with her.

Afroman is definitely uncovering some major shit here, while he gets high!

edit Pimpin' Shouldn't be so Whack


Red & Affyellow Mother Fuckin' M & M, can't stand no mother fuckin' Ying Yang twins

Afroman believes highly that real pimps getting down on the floor, but there is no hoe in the video. Then he asks why is David Banner running from the clan, what happened to the bitches man? Hmm...Cadillac on 22's, why is David Banner takin' off his shoes? Its supposed to be about Cadillac's, not David Banner bringing dead people back. Even though its all good... it might get misunderstood... dance skippy Miss Hippy is the hood. Raps they're writing up, I cant lighten up, until these whack rappers tighten up.

I dunno, people are fucked if they can understand what drugs Afroman are on now to understand that comment.

edit Missy Elliot

She thinks she looks like Halle that's scary! Her CD it ain't worth it, put your money in your pocket and reverse it. Then he constantly repeated that Missy Elliot makes a bunch of bullshit. I cant stand her music going in my ear. If you like Missy Elliot then get the fuck outta here, sang Afroman after getting extremely high, but even those not on drugs agreed.

edit Whack Mother Fuckin' Rappers

Afroman stated in a press conference while watching MTV at the same time that most rappers are whack, just like the people they attract. Hey man... Trina's on TV... oh ya, she fine, hey homie? Yeah, she cute... but not when she rapping, press mute.

Afroman isn't known to be a great spokesperson for RC Cola press conferences!

edit Eve-olution


Afroman changed the lyrics to a song just to piss off the crew of that group by singing, And now we're gonna play a single from the album "Weavolution" - Even with a weave, I can't stand Eve. Sing it with me, and harmonize. Even with a weave, I can't stand Eve...I can't stand Eve. Said, she got a pinhead. Most people head is round... hers goes up and down. Like a peanut. She could be pretty, if her attitude wasn't so shitty. Talkin about "Ya trying to come through the back door" she ain't got no back door, what's she talking smack for?

Male bashing with Mary J! Like Queen Latifah, she must be gay. On Afroman's radio you gets no play, not today!

edit Afroman on MTV

Afroman was fired from press conferences for MTV and stated in a reply to them, "What the fuck happened to MTV? Why these whack rappers get to make a CD? We don't know man. Check out 50 Cent, he don't move his mouth when he's rapping, he rap like he's Mike Tyson or something? He don't move his mouth, he mumbles out, It's Ludicorus, It's Ludicrous". Open your mouth, damn it.

Teach me how to stunt? They need to teach him how to roll a fat blunt, get high, get drunk, take it easy and stop making songs so cheesy."

edit Does Afroman Like Anyone?

Rasta peace symbol

Yes, Afroman says Manny Fresh is actually fresh. And Juvenille... he like his style, but the worst rapper he ever heard, man. Is the whack-ass mutha-fuckin' Birdman

Also Silk the Shocker? "My name is Silk, and I will shock you" oh man, "I've just been shocked by silk the shocker!" but we don't think he actually likes Silk The Shocker at all.

edit Did you like this article?

If you didn't, then you need to smoke some hash, relax, with a Colt 45, and two zig zags. Baby, that's the life for me. We can go to a park, after dark, and smoke that tumble weed. And when the marijuana burns, we can take our turns, singin' them dirty rap songs. Then stop to hit the bong like Cheech & Chong and sell tapes from here to Hong Kong... and we can't remember the rest of the lyrics to that, 'cause we got high, 'cause we got high, 'cause we got high....

edit See also

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