African American
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
- For alternative phrases, see Terms for American descendents of Africans.
| African American | |
|---|---|
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| Abilities | High jumping abilities, fast running abilities, welfare addiction |
| Resources | KFC, Social Welfare, Drugs |
| Attack | the race card, bad rap music |
| Weakness | water |
| Control Over | the Hip Hop Industry, the Rap Industry, the White House, now known as the black house. |
“Oh, you mean Niggers right?”
~ Some Guy on African Americans
Black Person or Afro American, shit shin, ghetto dweller, or nigger (hyphen optional) is the racial, political, social and cultural group which includes all humans with naturally dark skin, and specifically those with any known African ancestry, despite most of them not being born in africa or even having been to Africa themselves. [1] By default, those who are not African American are white despite the fact that many white people are born in africa. In some cultures, the term African American also can refer to people with fair skin, owing to lineage. (For example, it's a little-known fact like your mom that the old man down the street was born in Botswana, and can therefore be considered "African-American" despite his white skin.)
All though Afrocans have not yet discovered the wheel, they have developed the black hole, which can be found in space.
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[edit] Social identification
According to Robert Hamburger, the most straightforward answer to the question "who is African American?" is "whoever considers themselves such on the international census." He writes that although most who use the label rationalize it in terms of physical appearance, there is little objective consistency in this regard, and that different cultures around the world can assign the same individual to opposite "races": upper-, middle-, and lower-class professionals, Southerners and Northerners, and inner-city as opposed to suburban or rural blacks all have different subconscious and automatic perceptions of just what features define who belongs to which "racial" label.
According to Professor Geraldo Rivera, an African American is "A person with African ancestral origins, who self identifies, or is identified, as Black, African or Afro-Caribbean."
They may also be identified by there "Funkay" language. There dialect is much different then common american. They speak like this "Yo mah hommay" "Wut iz up bob" "Nufin much big bliznack".
[edit] The B.E.T
The black examination text is a test for nigger cultures. completing this test. can get these african tribes registered for cheap work. such work is buying our kfc chicken to fuel the white economy. The registered black license is recieved after completeing the test under white standerds; this ables the nigger to walk the streets freely without getting rightfully raped and fucked up by our certified NCDD : nigger control department of defence.
according to our poles in white guys are us, satistics show how many niggers past our white cultures:
1 out of 2 million fucktar nigglets pass this test
I KNOW! how is this possible?!?! our system had a minor glitch due to reasonable belief of a nigger walking outside. dont worry. We hanged his bitch ass in his white owned government housing
Call 1-800-naop-wad Niggers are our problems without a doubt
[edit] Legal status
African Americans are legaly considered to be 3/5ths of a person. African Americans cause so much crime that Governor of Louisiana David Duke has proposed a bill that would require the castration of all da boyz. The bill is currently waiting majority approval in the House of Representatives, having already been passed in the Senate.
[edit] Capitalization
There is some controversy as to whether the phrase should be capitalized or written with trendy lowercased vowels as aFrican aMerican.
Characteristics
Remnants of a snout. The Great FALL Out of 93' Blacks typically have fine chocolate skin with asses and no need for plastic surgery, the direct opposite of the European. They have a head full of fluffy hair. Do not go on cruises due to the last cruise they were offered across the Atlantic Ocean (see slavery). In 1879, the Europeans spread sublime messages that straight hair was better than Kinkey hair, eventually sarting the 1999 Fallout, in which blacks hair satrting becoming short and crappy. With collaborations from the Asains, weave sales hit an all new high, thus resulting in a never before seen minivan sale blow out. Yes people, thats where those turd ass minivans come from, black peoples hair. Shame, shame, shame!!!
[edit] Renouncing One's African American Status
African Americans can voluntarily renounce their identity as such by entering higher education, refraining from criminal activity, or befriending even one European American. Such individuals are known variously (by African Americans) as "Uncle Toms," "sellouts," "house-negroes," "Oreos," and "motherfuckers."
And finaly there's skin bleaching. The fastest way to denounce that skin color completely! Michael Jackson did it, why not you!?!
[edit] See also
[edit] References and notes
- ↑ Black Person in the United States are known as "Black Person Americans.
[edit] External links
- Funniest website ever
- Another excellent website
- African Americans from all over the world
- "What does that mean, exactly?"
- Nalo Hopkinson
- Search for the phrase "two examples of this"
| This page was originally sporked from Wikipedia:Black people. |
