From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|An adult in its natural habitat|
|Means of Violence:|
“When you're an adult, you finally have the courage to visit an Adult Bookstore and giggle at the pictures.”
“Well... I wouldn't say I giggle... too busy, if you know what I mean...”
The Adult is the stage of human metamorphosis in which the subject has succeeded the teenhood form and precede into their superior mental and physical form. This form is constantly misinterpreted as the final stage in human metamorphosis. It is, however, not the final form. The final stage in a humans life is death, and before that it's senior citizens, and before that is adult.
The Transformation Process
At a certain part of a child's life, they start to go through an unnatural process called puberty. It can start anywhere between the ages of 10 though 18 and can end anywhere between ages 18 and 59. Some very notable aspects of puberty are teenage angst, fleshy bubble wrap, voice modification, height/fat increase, hair growing on your genitalia, booby/pingas enlargement, and some other stuff, look here for more detail. After this long rebellious epic fail phase, they have finally achieved adulthood. Over obsession of Hannah Montana occurs during that age.
The most noticeable physical features include:
- Bleeding once a month followed by complete primal regression.
- Lack of Wang
- Noticeable Parts and absence of penis
Other stuff you should be aware of:
- They mature (rare instance).
- The statutory age should be 16. No, I'm kidding, or not, no seriously, taking advantage of hot young girls with perky tits is wrong...right?
- They grow an obsession with cleanliness.
- Lose all sense of rationality.
- They become manipulative and often can be referred to as a "cock teasers".
- They go batshit insane at least once a month, a time frame of 2-7 days.
- Understand why shoes and shopping are important (a thing men have yet to grasp). The main difference is that they turn from people to sexual objects and the good ones act like what they are (the bad ones are constantly droning on about equality and being more then just sexual objects which they are not. Full stop cherry on top, no buts about it!)
- Their anus disappears and the digestive tract is reformed, the reason why women don't poop.
- They say "OMG" and "are you serious" all the time
- A love for Seventeen magazine
- Has an understanding of what the inside of a kitchen looks like.
The most noticeable features include:
- Their cock (Only works if they were born with one)
- Their penis grows larger and takes over half their brain.
- They start worshiping their cock and comparing it to their other buddies.
Other stuff you should be aware of:
- Males will tend to believe that their cock is much larger then it really is.
- Has advanced knowledge in the workings of any remote control.
- Understand the importance of football games (females have yet to acquire this skill).
- Loses all sense of direction but is too stubborn to admit it.
- Testicles now run the thought and reason of a man's brain.
- Males will also believe any sarcastic comments made about their looks.
- Some will become mature and try to take over the world (though it is very rare).
- 90% of all penises result in brain death.
- Eventually finding out that talking and putting up with the whore is not worth the easy sex.
Advantages and Disadvantages
|Beer and Alcohol is legal!||Getting pulled over by the police|
|Do whatever you want!||Responsibility|
|Moar sex!||Pregnancy, Children, and low libido|
|School's out forever!||Getting a job to pay for your family|
|Party!||Visit your in laws.|
|A couple of other things.||A lot of them.|
Stuff Adults Like to Look At
Enemies of Adults