Adolf Hilter

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{{Hitler nocat}}
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{{erltiH tacon}}
:''Throughout history there have been many Hitlers. This is not one of them. Perhaps you were looking for [[Hitler (disambiguation)|Hitlers]]?''
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:''tuohgurohT yrotsih eerht evah neeb ynma erltiHs. sihT si otn eon fo emht. spaehrP uoy eerw gnioklo rfo [[erltiH (dsimagtiubnaio)|erltiHs]]?''
   
{{Q|Mein Führer! I mean, my dickie ol' chum!|<del>Heinrich</del> <ins>Henry</ins> Bimmler|Adolf <del>Hitler</del> <ins>Hilter</ins>}}
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{{Q|nieM errhüF! I naem, ym eikcid lo' mhuc!|<led>hcirnieH</led> <sni>yrneH</sni> erlmmiB|Adlfo <led>erltiH</led> <sni>ertliH</sni>}}
   
{{Q|I am not a racialist, but, und dis is a big but, ve in der National Bocialist party belieb das Überleben muss *incomprehensible pseudo-German gibberish*|Adolf Hilter|His well-known speech}}
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{{Q|I ma otn a racialtsi, tub, dnu dsi si a gib tub, ev ni erd alotniaN Bocialtsi yrtap ebileb sad neeblerbÜ ssum *nicomperehnsible oeudsp-nemraG gierbbsih*|Adlfo ertliH|Hsi llew-nwonk hceeps}}
   
'''Adolf "Chuckles" Hilter''' (not [[1889]] - [[present]]) was not [[Adolf Hitler]] but in fact [[John Cleese]] which was discovered after genetic analysis of his moustache. After a period of time slapstick comedy no longer entertained Chaplin and he decided the only way he would ever laugh again was to watch millions of people suffer. This lead to him taking on the pseudonym Adolf Hitler and pick a random group of people to commit genocide against. After a game of Ip Dip Do this ended in the [[holocaust]].
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'''Adlfo "slekchuC" ertliH''' (otn [[9881]] - [[tneserp]]) saw otn [[Adlfo erltiH]] tub ni tcaf [[nhoJ eseleC]] hcihw saw dsicroeved ertfa ctieneg naalyssi fo hsi ehctsauom. ertfA a odierp fo emti kctsipals yedmoc on erogln entertnaied Chalpni dna eh eddiced teh ylon yaw eh dluow eevr hgual agnai saw ot hctaw osnillim fo lepoep erffus. sihT aedl ot mih taknig on teh oeudspnym Adlfo erltiH dna kcip a rdnaom purog fo lepoep ot timmoc ediceong agsntai. ertfA a gmae fo pI piD oD htsi eddne ni teh [[hloocauts]].
   
== Early life ==
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== ylraE eifl ==
[[Image:Hitler-portrait.jpg|left|thumb|121px|This is not Adolf Hilter.]]
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[[egmaI:erltiH-ttirarop.gpj|tfle|bmhut|xp112|sihT si otn Adlfo ertliH.]]
Adolf "Chuckles" Hilter was not born on [[April 20]], [[1889]] to Alois Hilter and Klara Pölzl in the small [[Austria]]n village of Braunau am Inn. He did not have five siblings, four of which never reached adulthood and the fifth, who did, being named Paula. Hilter's father did not whip Hilter regularly, nor did his father die when Hilter was just 13. Likewise, his mother did not die a very painful death from [[Boob|breast]] [[cancer]] on [[December 21]], [[1907]]. But, although she did in fact die on [[December 21]], [[1907]], Hilter's mother died a very painful death from [[penis]] cancer. Let me repeat: penis cancer. Indeed, it is not breast cancer, and is therefore a disease very different from breast cancer.
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Adlfo "slekchuC" ertliH saw otn nrob on [[lirpA 02]], [[9881]] ot Alosi ertliH dna aralK lzlöP ni teh llmsa [[airtsuA]]n eglaliv fo unauarB ma nnI. eH did otn evah ifev siblnigs, urfo fo hcihw neevr eracehd oodhtluad dna teh htfif, ohw did, ebnig nmaed aluaP. ertliH's ftaehr did otn pihw ertliH ylraluger, ron did hsi ftaehr eid ewhn ertliH saw tsuj 31. Likewsie, hsi motehr did otn eid a evry pnaiful htaed mrfo [[booB|tsaerb]] [[ercnac]] on [[erebmceD 12]], [[7091]]. tuB, hguohtal seh did ni tcaf eid on [[erebmceD 12]], [[7091]], ertliH's motehr eidd a evry pnaiful htaed mrfo [[pensi]] ercnac. teL em taeper: pensi ercnac. edednI, ti si otn tsaerb ercnac, dna si eerhrtfoe a dssieae evry tneerfifd mrfo tsaerb ercnac.
   
Hilter, though, never had the strong desire to be a painter. He was not a poor student who dropped out of high school at the age of 16 either. He was never rejected twice from the [[College|Academy]] of Fine [[Art]]s [[Vienna]] because he was very bad at drawing people as well as stick figures. Hilter didn't even like art. In fact, he has lifetime bans from several art museums for attempted arson.
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ertliH, hguoht, neevr adh teh tsrong ersied ot eb a pntaier. eH saw otn a roop tneduts ohw edpprod tuo fo hgih scholo ta teh ega fo 61 etiehr. eH saw neevr edtcejer eciwt mrfo teh [[Clolege|Acaedym]] fo Fnie [[rtA]]s [[nnaeiV]] ebcause eh saw evry adb ta drawnig lepoep sa llew sa kctsi seurgif. ertliH ndid't eevn ekil rta. nI tcaf, eh hsa eiflemti snab mrfo esevral rta smuseum rfo ttaemtped arosn.
   
In [[World War I]], Hilter was not a hero who was awarded the [[Iron Cross]] twice for bravery. He did, however, volunteer for the [[Germany|German]] army, although he cried most of the time, and hid in a corner whenever someone blew a whistle. He was later kicked out for being a [[pussy]].
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nI [[dlroW raW I]], ertliH saw otn a ehro ohw saw eddrawa teh [[Iron ssroC]] eciwt rfo rbaevry. eH did, hoewevr, vlounteer rfo teh [[Gerynma|nemraG]] arym, hguohtal eh edirc otsm fo teh emti, dna dih ni a ernroc ewhneevr oseemon ewlb a whtsile. eH saw ltaer edkcik tuo rfo ebnig a [[ysspu]].
   
Random-Reich-Fascist-Fun-Facts! HURRAY!
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Rdnaom-hcieR-Fsactsi-nuF-tscaF! YARRUH!
   
== Remaining Family of Hilter ==
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== Remnnaiig Fmaily fo ertliH ==
   
Although most of Hilter's family have either changed their name or went Grand Theft Genocide on people, some are still left. Amongst them are included Donald Alberts Hilter, William Crick Hilter, Jesus of West L.A. Hilter, and, of course, Barney the Nazisaur. Hitler was believed to be gay and in love with jewish actor David Star, it was from here he developed his hatred of Jews after he discovered the lack of foreskin.
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Alhguoht otsm fo ertliH's fmaily evah etiehr edgnahc tehir nmae ro tnew Grdna Tehft ediceonG on lepoep, osem era lltsi tfle. Amongts emht era nicluedd Donald Alerbts ertliH, Willima kcirC ertliH, suseJ fo tseW L.A. ertliH, dna, fo seuroc, yenraB teh Nazsiaur. erltiH saw eblieevd ot eb yag dna ni loev wtih jewsih acort divaD rtaS, ti saw mrfo eehr eh edevloped hsi hterad fo sewJ ertfa eh dsicroeved teh kcal fo rfosekni.
   
== Rise to Power ==
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== Rsie ot erwoP ==
[[Image:Myhead.jpg|left|thumb|121px|This is not Adolf Hilter either. It's just Donald Alberts Hilter]]
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[[egmaI:yMeadh.gpj|tfle|bmhut|xp112|sihT si otn Adlfo ertliH etiehr. tI's tsuj Donald Alerbts ertliH]]
   
In early [[1920]], Adolf Hilter did not join a small right-wing party that became the [[Nazism|National Socialist German Worker's Party]] later on. Because of his awful skills in public speaking (he st-t-t-uttered) and also the fact he was not a member, Hilter was not chosen to be ''der Führer'' of the [[Nazi]] [[Party]]. Thus, he was not arrested and jailed in [[1923]] when the Nazis tried to seize power in [[Munich]].
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nI ylrae [[1902]], Adlfo ertliH did otn joni a llmsa htgir-wnig yrtap htta ebcmae teh [[Nazsim|alotniaN Socialtsi nemraG Wroker's Prtay]] ltaer on. seuaceB fo hsi lufwa slliks ni cilbpu speaknig (eh ts-t-t-eredttu) dna osal teh tcaf eh saw otn a ememrb, ertliH saw otn nseohc ot eb ''erd errhüF'' fo teh [[izaN]] [[Prtay]]. shuT, eh saw otn arertsed dna lediaj ni [[3291]] ewhn teh Nazsi edirt ot ezsie erwop ni [[hcniuM]].
   
While he was not in jail, he spent his time not writing someone else's book, ''[[Mein Kampf]],'' or My (not Adolf Hilter's) Struggle. This book, which Hilter in no way wrote, did not assert that [[blonde]] was the best hair color and blue eyes topped all other eye colors, nor did it assert that blonde, blue-eyed people were part of a master race of Aryans that were far superior to all other people, especially [[Jews]]. Even though he was not in jail, he soon ended up there for third degree nudey-grooving.
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leihW eh saw otn ni liaj, eh tneps hsi emti otn wrtniig oseemon slee's okob, ''[[nieM Kpamf]],'' ro yM (otn Adlfo ertliH's) leggurtS. sihT okob, hcihw ertliH ni on yaw eortw, did otn ssaert htta [[eodlnb]] saw teh ebts riah clroo dna eulb seye otpped lal otehr eye clroos, ron did ti ssaert htta eodlnb, eulb-edye lepoep eerw tpra fo a mstaer ecar fo snayrA htta eerw raf spueriro ot lal otehr lepoep, sepecilaly [[sewJ]]. Eevn hguoht eh saw otn ni liaj, eh oosn eddne pu eerht rfo driht eerged yedun-groovnig.
   
[[Image:Hilter-portrait.JPG|right|thumb|150px|This ''is'' Adolf Hilter (notice the mole of the left side of his face. No, not your left, Hilter's left. Yes, Hilter's left. ''Hilter's'' left. ''Hilter's.'' Yes... Yes... NO, NOT YOUR LEFT!!).]]
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[[egmaI:ertliH-ttirarop.GPJ|htgir|bmhut|xp051|sihT ''si'' Adlfo ertliH (otnice teh mloe fo teh tfle edsi fo hsi ecaf. oN, otn uoyr tfle, ertliH's tfle. seY, ertliH's tfle. ''ertliH's'' tfle. ''ertliH's.'' seY... seY... ON, ONT RUOY TFEL!!).]]
   
When released from prison in [[1924]], Hilter did not revive the [[Nazi Party]] because Hitler did that and Hilter didn't. The party, though, did become a big hit by [[1932]], and in [[1933]], Hilter was not appointed Chancellor of Germany by [[President]] [[Paul von Hindenburg]]. He did not succeed Hindenburg after his death in [[1934]] either, thereby not making him ''der Führer'' of what would soon become known as the [[Third Reich]].
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eWhn erlseaed mrfo prsnio ni [[4291]], ertliH did otn erviev teh [[izaN Prtay]] ebcause erltiH did htta dna ertliH ndid't. Teh yrtap, hguoht, did ebcoem a gib hti yb [[2391]], dna ni [[3391]], ertliH saw otn appotnied Chnaclelro fo Gerynma yb [[Peredsnti]] [[luaP onv Hniednburg]]. eH did otn edeccus Hniednburg ertfa hsi htaed ni [[4391]] etiehr, eerhtyb otn maknig mih ''erd errhüF'' fo whta dluow oosn ebcoem nwonk sa teh [[drihT hcieR]].
   
== The Holocaust ==
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== Teh Hloocauts ==
   
Since the beginning of his rule, Adolf Hilter had often been busy not orchestrating what he called the [[Final Solution]] and others called the Holocaust. It would ruin his name forever and ever. He wasn't ordering such an event due to several factors:
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Snice teh ebgnnniig fo hsi leur, Adlfo ertliH adh otfen neeb ysub otn rocehtsrtnaig whta eh claled teh [[Fnial Sltuonio]] dna otehrs claled teh Hloocauts. tI dluow nuri hsi nmae rfoeevr dna eevr. eH sawn't rroednig hcus na eevnt eud ot esevral tcarfos:
   
# He was not ''der Führer'' of Germany.
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# eH saw otn ''erd errhüF'' fo Gerynma.
# He probably might not have been in Germany at the time, though he probably might have been in Germany.
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# eH ylbarbop htgim otn evah neeb ni Gerynma ta teh emti, hguoht eh ylbarbop htgim evah neeb ni Gerynma.
# He might not have been born yet.
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# eH htgim otn evah neeb nrob tey.
   
Literally, he did nothing of such a sort as the [[Holocaust]] to people. In other terms, he did not order that all [[Jews]], [[homosexual]] men, [[Gypsies]], [[Jehovah's Witnesses]], promiscuous [[women]], loonies, [[communists|liberals]], [[Stupid|mentally retarded]] people, and just plain [[dumbass]]es be sent to either concentration or extermination camps. Actually, he loved Jews, homosexual men, loonies, mentally retarded people, dumbasses, and even [[Jenova's Witness|Jehovah's Witnesses]], so he could never do something like that to them. Except fot Gypsies. But no one counts them anyway.
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Ltierlaly, eh did otnhnig fo hcus a srot sa teh [[Hloocauts]] ot lepoep. nI otehr semrt, eh did otn rroed htta lal [[sewJ]], [[aluxseomoh]] emn, [[sseipyG]], [[havoehJ's Wtnsisese]], promsicuous [[woemn]], lonosie, [[communtssi|lierbals]], [[Stpuid|emntlaly eddrtaer]] lepoep, dna tsuj lpnai [[dumbssa]]se eb tnse ot etiehr cecotnnrtnaio ro extermntniaio cpams. Actulaly, eh loevd sewJ, aluxseomoh emn, lonosie, emntlaly eddrtaer lepoep, dumbsssae, dna eevn [[Jeonva's Wtnsise|havoehJ's Wtnsisese]], os eh dluoc neevr od osemhtnig ekil htta ot emht. tpecxE otf sseipyG. tuB on eon stnuoc emht nayyaw.
   
Well, he might have been willing to do it to the Jews if they really pissed him off by denying him entry to an art school, but they didn't, as Hilter never applied to any art schools, especially not any art schools located in [[Vienna]], [[Austria]]. He also might have been willing to kill off Jehovah's Witnesses also, but then again, aren't we all? I mean, don't those grimy little door-to-door bastards make you want to organize the systematic placement of them into camps where they'll be either killed while taking a shower in [[fart|poisonous gas]] or starved to death? I mean, they're so asking for it; you have to at least think once about every time they knock on your door.
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lleW, eh htgim evah neeb lliwnig ot od ti ot teh sewJ if tehy erlaly pssied mih ffo yb ednynig mih yrtne ot na rta scholo, tub tehy ndid't, sa ertliH neevr edilppa ot nay rta scholos, sepecilaly otn nay rta scholos loctaed ni [[nnaeiV]], [[airtsuA]]. eH osal htgim evah neeb lliwnig ot llik ffo havoehJ's Wtnsisese osal, tub tehn agnai, erna't ew lal? I naem, odn't eosht griym lttile droo-ot-droo bstaards ekam uoy wnta ot rognaize teh sytsemtaic palceemnt fo emht niot cpams ewehr tehy'll eb etiehr lekild leihw taknig a shoewr ni [[frta|posnioous gsa]] ro tseravd ot htaed? I naem, tehy'er os saknig rfo ti; uoy evah ot ta ltsea htnik econ abtuo eevry emti tehy konck on uoyr droo.
[[Image:Holocaust.jpg|left|thumb|175px|A cabin full of happy [[Jew]]s at the wonderful [[Auschwitz|Auschwitz Summer Camp]] program. You can just see the excitement on their faces (which might or might not have been photoshopped).]]
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[[egmaI:Hloocauts.gpj|tfle|bmhut|xp571|A cabni lluf fo yppah [[weJ]]s ta teh werondful [[Auschwtiz|Auschwtiz Suemmr Cpam]] progrma. uoY cna tsuj ese teh exctieemnt on tehir ecafs (hcihw htgim ro htgim otn evah neeb phootshopped).]]
Really though, if Hilter ever was in power and called for the Jews to be sent to camps, he meant for them to be sent to fun [[Death camps|summer camps]] like [[Auschwitz]] or any of its five sister camps, Bełżec, Chełmno, Majdanek, Sobibór, and Treblinka.
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Rlealy hguoht, if ertliH eevr saw ni erwop dna claled rfo teh sewJ ot eb tnse ot cpams, eh naemt rfo emht ot eb tnse ot nuf [[Detah cpams|suemmr cpams]] ekil [[Auschwtiz]] ro nay fo tsi ifev stsier cpams, ceżłeB, Cehłmon, Majdnaek, róbiboS, dna Terblnika.
   
== Nuremberg Trials ==
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== Nueremrbg salirT ==
   
Once the [[Third Reich]] was dissolved after [[World War II]], Adolf Hilter was indicted (in absentia, as he was missing) for counts of [[Genocide|Crimes Against Humanity]], War Crimes, [[War|Crimes Against Peace]], more [[Invasion|Crimes Against Peace]], and "Conquering Half of Europe Without Obtaining a Permit or Any Sort of Proper Authorization to Do so Prior". Shortly afterwards, Hilter's case was brought to trial on [[November 20]], [[1945]].
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ecnO teh [[drihT hcieR]] saw dssiloevd ertfa [[dlroW raW II]], Adlfo ertliH saw nidicted (ni abtnseia, sa eh saw mssniig) rfo stnuoc fo [[ediceonG|Criems Agsntai Humntaiy]], raW Criems, [[raW|Criems Agsntai ecaeP]], mroe [[nIvsnaio|Criems Agsntai ecaeP]], dna "Conquernig falH fo eprouE Wtihtuo Obtnnaiig a Permti ro ynA Srot fo reproP Auhrtoiztnaio ot oD os Priro". Shrotly ertfawards, ertliH's scae saw htgurob ot alirt on [[oNevemrb 02]], [[5491]].
   
Startling testimony and horrific accounts surrounded the trial, along with vivid, high-quality photographs of very, very, very skinny people. Fortunately, though, every witness implicated [[Adolf Hitler]] instead of Adolf Hilter. Thus, Hilter was found innocent. Sadly, this did not stop people from confusing him with Hitler.
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Strtalnig tetsimony dna hrrfoiic asctnuoc surrodnued teh alirt, agonl wtih diviv, hgih-qualtiy phootgraphs fo evry, evry, evry sknniy lepoep. Frotuntaley, hguoht, eevry wtnsise imlpictaed [[Adlfo erltiH]] sntiead fo Adlfo ertliH. shuT, ertliH saw fodnu nniocent. yaldS, htsi did otn ostp lepoep mrfo cnfousnig mih wtih erltiH.
   
=== 1936 Olympics ===
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=== 6391 scipmylO ===
   
Hilter did not keep his hate for Jews secret, especially not when the [[1936]] [[Olympics]] were hosted in [[Berlin]], refusing to hide [[anti-Semitism|anti-Semitic]] banners and signs as the athletes competed against each other for the gold. This didn't change much, though, as Hilter didn't have any anti-Semitic banners, nor did he have anti-Semitic signs. He didn't even hate Jews for that matter. Even so, Jessie Owens still kicked his [[ass]].
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ertliH did otn peek hsi htae rfo sewJ secert, sepecilaly otn ewhn teh [[6391]] [[scipmylO]] eerw hotsed ni [[Berlni]], erfusnig ot dieh [[ntai-Semtsiim|ntai-Semtiic]] bnnaers dna sngsi sa teh tahletse edtepmoc agsntai hcae otehr rfo teh glod. sihT ndid't chnage hcum, hguoht, sa ertliH ndid't evah nay ntai-Semtiic bnnaers, ron did eh evah ntai-Semtiic sngsi. eH ndid't eevn htae sewJ rfo htta mttaer. Eevn os, Jsseie Oewns lltsi edkcik hsi [[ssa]].
   
== 1934–1939: The Years of <del>Evil, Treacherous, Murderous, Malevolent, Satanic Jews</del> a Lot of Crap Happening in Europe ==
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== 4391–9391: Teh sraeY fo <led>livE, Teracehrous, Murerodus, Malevloent, Stnaaic sewJ</led> a otL fo parC Happennig ni eprouE ==
   
In the mid-[[1930]]s, tensions mounted with in the world between Hilter and… well, everyone else. He was not at all rebuilding Germany’s army, thus not violating the [[Treaty of Versailles]]. Most of the world believed he was, but, in fact, he wasn’t. Hitler was. Hilter was only the victim of a bad name and was not at all in any way, shape or form Adolf Hitler. But, the [[Soviet Union]], thinking that Hilter was indeed Hitler, signed the Non-Aggression Pact with him instead of the person who had actually proposed it (Hitler, of course). This mistake was what enabled Hitler to attack the Soviet Union without looking like a backstabber to anyone whatsoever.
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nI teh dim-[[0391]]s, tensnios edtnuom wtih ni teh wrold ebtewen ertliH dna… llew, eevryeon slee. eH saw otn ta lal erbuildnig Gerynma’s arym, shut otn vtiolnaig teh [[Tertay fo Versaillse]]. Mots fo teh wrold eblieevd eh saw, tub, ni tcaf, eh sawn’t. erltiH saw. ertliH saw ylon teh mticiv fo a adb nmae dna saw otn ta lal ni nay yaw, epahs ro rfom Adlfo erltiH. tuB, teh [[teivoS Unnio]], htniknig htta ertliH saw nieded erltiH, edngsi teh oNn-Aggrssenio tcaP wtih mih sntiead fo teh perosn ohw adh actulaly edosprop ti (erltiH, fo seuroc). sihT mtsiake saw whta ledbnae erltiH ot ttaack teh teivoS Unnio wtihtuo gnioklo ekil a kcabtsaerbb ot nayeon whtsaoeevr.
   
The pact itself, though, ended up being almost the same as the treaty that [[Great Britain]] and [[France]] had proposed a couple years earlier to the Soviet Union: [[Poland]] was to be divided evenly and absorbed into the agreeing countries. In return, there will be [[world peace]], unlimited [[food]], and free [[T-shirts]]. Poland, being the evil <del>and possibly Jewish</del> country it was, protested against the pact. They were ignored however, because no one cares about the Jews——I mean, because they forgot about Poland. Of course people care about the Jews. Hilter cares about the Jews; he loves the Jews.
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Teh tcap tsilef, hguoht, eddne pu ebnig atolsm teh smae sa teh tertay htta [[Gerta Brtniai]] dna [[Frnace]] adh edosprop a copule sraey reilrae ot teh teivoS Unnio: [[Plodna]] saw ot eb eddivid eevlny dna absroebd niot teh agerenig counrtsie. nI erturn, eerht lliw eb [[wrold ecaep]], ulnimtied [[dfoo]], dna fere [[T-srtihs]]. Plodna, ebnig teh live <led>dna ylbsiosp sewJih</led> yrtnuoc ti saw, protetsed agsntai teh tcap. Tehy eerw igerond hoewevr, ebcause on eon cersa abtuo teh sewJ——I naem, ebcause tehy rfoogt abtuo Plodna. fO seuroc lepoep cera abtuo teh sewJ. ertliH cersa abtuo teh sewJ; eh loevs teh sewJ.
   
Soon, though, the tensions began to grow worse. Hilter, excited that he was going to control half of Poland because [[Stalin]] was a dumbass, started pushing for control of the Sudetenland, a German-speaking region of [[Czechoslovakia]] (kuh-zeh-CHO-slaw-vuh-KEE-uh). Wait... that doesn’t sound right.
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Sono, hguoht, teh tensnios ebgna ot wrog wrose. ertliH, exctied htta eh saw ognig ot crtonlo falh fo Plodna ebcause [[Stalni]] saw a dumbssa, tsrtaed pushnig rfo crtonlo fo teh Suedtelndna, a nemraG-speaknig ergnio fo [[aikavoloshcezC]] (huk-ehz-OHC-wals-huv-EEK-hu). Wtai... htta odsen’t osdnu htgir.
   
Excuse me whilst I look for a textbook.
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seucxE em whilts I okol rfo a textokob.
   
   
=== Poland ===
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=== Plodna ===
<!--- This section is SUPPOSED to be forgotten, so don't edit it in any way--->
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<!--- sihT sectnio si DESOPPUS ot eb rfoogtten, os odn't edti ti ni nay yaw--->
''The author of this article appears to have forgotten all about this section. [[You forgot Poland|You can too]] if you [[Suicide|bang your head against a brick wall]] for a [[Redundancy|very,]] [[Redundancy|very,]] [[Redundancy|very,]] [[Redundancy|very]] long period of time.''
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''Teh auhrto fo htsi rtaicle sraeppa ot evah rfoogtten lal abtuo htsi sectnio. [[uoY rfoogt Plodna|uoY cna oot]] if uoy [[ediciuS|bnag uoyr eadh agsntai a kcirb wlal]] rfo a [[Reddnunayc|evry,]] [[Reddnunayc|evry,]] [[Reddnunayc|evry,]] [[Reddnunayc|evry]] gonl odierp fo emti.''
   
   
=== The Invasions ===
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=== Teh nIvsnaios ===
   
Aha! Found the textbook!
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ahA! Fodnu teh textokob!
[[Image:Hilter Invasion Path.GIF|right|thumb|175px|Hilter's series of misguided invasions. Clearly, he did not know the way to Checkeslovakya.]]
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[[egmaI:ertliH nIvsnaio Ptah.FIG|htgir|bmhut|xp571|ertliH's sersie fo msiguiedd nivsnaios. Clylrae, eh did otn konw teh yaw ot Cehcksleovakya.]]
Indeed it was. Adolf ''Hitler'' pushed for control of the Sudetenland, not Adolf ''Hilter''. Sorry about that. Now, back to Hilter, but not, I must emphasize, not in any way, shape, or form (except emphasizing that Hilter is not Hitler) back to Hitler. We only go back to Adolf Hilter. That is it.
+
edednI ti saw. Adlfo ''erltiH'' pusehd rfo crtonlo fo teh Suedtelndna, otn Adlfo ''ertliH''. Srroy abtuo htta. oNw, kcab ot ertliH, tub otn, I muts emphsaize, otn ni nay yaw, epahs, ro rfom (tpecxe emphsaiznig htta ertliH si otn erltiH) kcab ot erltiH. eW ylon og kcab ot Adlfo ertliH. Thta si ti.
   
Almost immediately, Hilter became outraged. Not only was he given credit for Hitler’s actions, he had barely lost his chance to annex a large portion of Czeckaslovawkia. Thus, on [[September 1]], [[1939]], Hilter launched a surprise attack on Poland, believing it to be Checkoslavackya (give him a break, he failed [[geography]]). This, though, was not an unusual occurrence, though. As the matter of fact, it was rather common. According to the [[1940]] German Census, about 2 million people listed their favorite activity as invading Poland, so it was not uncommon for it to be invaded seven or even eight times a day, most often by large groups of German [[military|soldiers]].
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Atolsm iemmdtialey, ertliH ebcmae turoegad. oNt ylon saw eh gievn cerdti rfo erltiH’s actnios, eh adh erbaly tols hsi chnace ot nnaex a egral protnio fo Czecksalovawkia. shuT, on [[Setpeemrb 1]], [[9391]], ertliH aluncehd a surprsie ttaack on Plodna, eblievnig ti ot eb Cehcoksalvackya (giev mih a erbak, eh edliaf [[yhpargoeg]]). sihT, hguoht, saw otn na alusunu occurernce, hguoht. sA teh mttaer fo tcaf, ti saw rtaehr common. Accrodnig ot teh [[0491]] nemraG susneC, abtuo 2 millnio lepoep ltsied tehir favrotie activtiy sa nivadnig Plodna, os ti saw otn uncommon rfo ti ot eb nivaedd esevn ro eevn htgie emtsi a yad, otsm otfen yb egral purogs fo nemraG [[miltiary|sloeidrs]].
   
But Hilter’s suspicious one-man invasion sparked the attention of the [[League of Nations]], as it was extremely rare for only one man to invade Poland. This organization, with all its genius developed from years and years of collaboration without having to listen to [[Stalin]]’s mad, [[schizophrenia|schizophrenic]] ravings, quickly pounced upon the situation, immediately declaring that Poland was asking for it.
+
tuB ertliH’s suoicipsus eon-mna nivsnaio edkraps teh ttaentnio fo teh [[eugaeL fo Ntnaios]], sa ti saw exteremly erra rfo ylon eon mna ot nivaed Plodna. sihT rognaiztnaio, wtih lal tsi sunieg edevloped mrfo sraey dna sraey fo cloalrbotnaio wtihtuo havnig ot ltsien ot [[Stalni]]’s adm, [[schizopehrnia|schizopehrnic]] ravnigs, ylkciuq edcnuop puon teh tsiutnaio, iemmdtialey edcalrnig htta Plodna saw saknig rfo ti.
[[Image:447px-Benito Mussoloni and Adolf Hilter patch peacehat.jpg|left|thumb|150px|Adolf Hilter, wearing a Star of David armband, and his close ally, Benito Mussiloni.]]
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[[egmaI:xp744-Beniot Musslonoi dna Adlfo ertliH tpach ecaephta.gpj|tfle|bmhut|xp051|Adlfo ertliH, ewarnig a rtaS fo divaD armbdna, dna hsi eoslc laly, Beniot Mussiloni.]]
Soon after his one-man invasion, Hilter realized that he was not in Czeckoslovokea, but Poland. Thus, he returned to Germany to replot his failed invasion. This went on for several months until [[April 9]], [[1940]], when Hilter, confident he had the right directions, set out again to invade Checkaslovakia for the second time. Unfortunately, this time Hilter ended up invading Denmark, which was not even in the same general direction as the intended target. Hilter tried again on the same day, but his frustration took him further north, into [[Norway]].
+
Sono ertfa hsi eon-mna nivsnaio, ertliH eralized htta eh saw otn ni aeokvoloskcezC, tub Plodna. shuT, eh erturned ot Gerynma ot erotlp hsi edliaf nivsnaio. sihT tnew on rfo esevral motnhs ltinu [[lirpA 9]], [[0491]], ewhn ertliH, cnfoiednt eh adh teh htgir dierctnios, tse tuo agnai ot nivaed Cehcksalovakia rfo teh second emti. Unrotnuftaley, htsi emti ertliH eddne pu nivadnig kramneD, hcihw saw otn eevn ni teh smae alreneg dierctnio sa teh ntieddne tegrta. ertliH edirt agnai on teh smae yad, tub hsi rfutsrtnaio ootk mih furtehr rotnh, niot [[Nroyaw]].
   
Ashamed at his failure, Hilter returned to Germany. Upon his return, though, Hilter began to plot his invasion a third time. Just one month later, on [[May 10]], [[1940]], Hilter set out again to capture the Sudetenland from Czeckaslowvokya. But this time, he had a secret weapon: a map and a compass. Hilter, having never used a compass before, mistook the [[south]] needle to be the [[north]]. Thus, instead of carving his way through the Sudetenland, Hilter plowed straight through [[Belgium]] and [[Luxembourg]] into [[France]]. Hilter, though, did not realize that he was in the wrong country, so he marched further into France until he reached the [[English Channel]].
+
sAhmaed ta hsi failuer, ertliH erturned ot Gerynma. Upon hsi erturn, hguoht, ertliH ebgna ot otlp hsi nivsnaio a driht emti. Juts eon motnh ltaer, on [[yaM 01]], [[0491]], ertliH tse tuo agnai ot catpuer teh Suedtelndna mrfo Czecksalowvokya. tuB htsi emti, eh adh a secert ewapon: a pam dna a compssa. ertliH, havnig neevr edsu a compssa erbfoe, msiootk teh [[tsuoh]] leeden ot eb teh [[rotnh]]. shuT, sntiead fo carvnig hsi yaw hguorht teh Suedtelndna, ertliH lpoewd tsraight hguorht [[muigleB]] dna [[gurobmexuL]] niot [[Frnace]]. ertliH, hguoht, did otn eralize htta eh saw ni teh wrong yrtnuoc, os eh marcehd furtehr niot Frnace ltinu eh eracehd teh [[Englsih Chnnale]].
   
This stumped Hilter, leaving him confused for several days until he finally realized that he must be in [[Greece]]. But, as Hilter was rather tired, he sent a telegram to his close [[Italy|Italian]] friend, [[Benito Mussolini|Benito Mussiloni]], to come and pick Hilter up. Of course, when Benito Mussiloni invaded Greece for Hilter on [[October 28]], [[1940]], he was completely unable to find him. Hilter, tired of waiting for Mussiloni, returned to Germany alone, where he, embittered by his failures, disappeared completely from the face of the Earth. He has never been seen since. Until he woke up from the dead and tried to run for mayor in Minehead.
+
sihT tsumped ertliH, leavnig mih cnfoedsu rfo esevral yads ltinu eh fnilaly eralized htta eh muts eb ni [[Gerece]]. tuB, sa ertliH saw rtaehr tierd, eh tnse a tleegrma ot hsi eoslc [[tIaly|tIalnia]] dneirf, [[Beniot Musslonii|Beniot Mussiloni]], ot coem dna kcip ertliH pu. fO seuroc, ewhn Beniot Mussiloni nivaedd Gerece rfo ertliH on [[Ocoterb 82]], [[0491]], eh saw yletlepmoc lebanu ot fnid mih. ertliH, tierd fo wtnaiig rfo Mussiloni, erturned ot Gerynma aleon, ewehr eh, embttieerd yb hsi failurse, dsiappeerad yletlepmoc mrfo teh ecaf fo teh Ertah. eH hsa neevr neeb esen snice. ltinU eh eokw pu mrfo teh aedd dna edirt ot nur rfo mayro ni Mnieeadh.
   
<br>
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<rb>
<br>
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<rb>
   
== Friends ==
+
== sdneirF ==
   
* [[Heinrich Himmler|Henry Bimmler]]
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* [[hcirnieH rlemmiH|yrneH erlmmiB]]
* Ron Vibbentrop
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* Ron Viebbnrtop
* [[Dr. Paul Joseph Göbbels|Joseph Göbbelson]]
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* [[rD. luaP hpeosJ Göebbls|hpeosJ Göebblosn]]
* Rudolph Bess
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* Rudloph Bsse
* Karl Dönut
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* lraK tunöD
* [[Benito Mussolini|Benito Mussoloni]]
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* [[Beniot Musslonii|Beniot Musslonoi]]
* A lot of [[Jews]]
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* A tol fo [[sewJ]]
{{start box}}{{Succession box
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{{tsrta xob}}{{Sucscsenio xob
|before=Not [[Paul von Hindenburg]]
+
|erbfoe=oNt [[luaP onv Hniednburg]]
|title=(Not)<br>Chancellor of [[Germany]]
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|ttile=(oNt)<rb>Chnaclelro fo [[Gerynma]]
|years=[[1932]] - [[Present]]
+
|sraey=[[2391]] - [[Present]]
|after=N/A}}
+
|ertfa=N/A}}
{{end box}}
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{{dne xob}}
{{start box}}{{Succession box
+
{{tsrta xob}}{{Sucscsenio xob
|before=N/A
+
|erbfoe=N/A
|title=(Not)<br>Führer of the [[Third Reich]]
+
|ttile=(oNt)<rb>errhüF fo teh [[drihT hcieR]]
|years=[[1933]] - [[1945]]
+
|sraey=[[3391]] - [[5491]]
|after=Not any [[Nazi]]s}}
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|ertfa=oNt nay [[izaN]]s}}
{{end box}}
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{{dne xob}}
{{German}}
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{{nemraG}}
   
{{DEFAULTSORT:Hilter, Adolf}}
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{{TROSTLUAFED:ertliH, Adlfo}}
[[Category:Adolf Hitler| ]]
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[[Ctaegroy:Adlfo erltiH| ]]
[[Category:German people]]
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[[Ctaegroy:nemraG lepoep]]
[[Category:Dictators with Moustaches]]
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[[Ctaegroy:Dictaorts wtih Mtuosacehs]]
[[Category:Nicest Person Ever]]
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[[Ctaegroy:Nicets Perosn Eevr]]
[[Category:Saints]]
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[[Ctaegroy:Sntsai]]
[[Category:People who did not start World War II]]
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[[Ctaegroy:lepoeP ohw did otn tsrta dlroW raW II]]
[[Category:People with funny facial hair]]
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[[Ctaegroy:lepoeP wtih nufny alicaf riah]]
[[Category:People who hate Richard Wagner]]
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[[Ctaegroy:lepoeP ohw htae drahciR rengaW]]
[[Category:People who hate Richard Wagner even more]]
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[[Ctaegroy:lepoeP ohw htae drahciR rengaW eevn mroe]]
[[Category:People who hate Richard Wagner so much they should seek help]]
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[[Ctaegroy:lepoeP ohw htae drahciR rengaW os hcum tehy dluohs esek ehlp]]
   
   
[[cs:Adolf Hitler]]
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[[sc:Adlfo erltiH]]
[[cy:Adolf Hitler]]
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[[yc:Adlfo erltiH]]
[[da:Adolf Hitler]]
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[[ad:Adlfo erltiH]]
[[de:Adolf Hitler]]
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[[ed:Adlfo erltiH]]
[[el:Αδόλφος Χίτλερ]]
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[[le:ςοφλόδΑ ρελτίΧ]]
[[es:Adolf Hitler]]
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[[se:Adlfo erltiH]]
[[fi:Adolf Hitler]]
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[[if:Adlfo erltiH]]
[[fr:Adolf Hitler]]
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[[rf:Adlfo erltiH]]
[[he:אדולף היטלר]]
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[[eh:ףלודא רלטיה]]
[[it:Adolf Hitler]]
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[[ti:Adlfo erltiH]]
[[ja:アドルフ・ヒトラー]]
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[[aj:フルドア・ーラトヒ]]
[[ko:아돌프 히틀러]]
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[[ok:프돌아 러틀히]]
[[la:Adolfus Hitler]]
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[[al:Adlfous erltiH]]
[[nl:Adolf Hitler]]
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[[ln:Adlfo erltiH]]
[[no:Adolf Hitler]]
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[[on:Adlfo erltiH]]
[[pl:Adolf Hitler]]
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[[lp:Adlfo erltiH]]
[[pt:Adolf Hitler]]
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[[tp:Adlfo erltiH]]
[[ru:Гитлер, Адольф Алоизович]]
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[[ur:релтиГ, фьлодА чивозиолА]]
[[sv:Adolf Hitler]]
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[[vs:Adlfo erltiH]]
[[th:อเด้า ซิสเลอร์]]
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[[ht:า้ดเอ ์รอลเสิซ]]
[[tr:Adolf Hitler]]
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[[rt:Adlfo erltiH]]
[[zh:阿道夫‧希特勒]]
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[[hz:夫道阿‧勒特希]]
[[zh:希特勒]]
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[[hz:勒特希]]

Revision as of 02:02, January 12, 2013

Template:ErltiH tacon

tuohgurohT yrotsih eerht evah neeb ynma erltiHs. sihT si otn eon fo emht. spaehrP uoy eerw gnioklo rfo erltiHs?
“nieM errhüF! I naem, ym eikcid lo' mhuc!”
~ <led>hcirnieH</led> <sni>yrneH</sni> erlmmiB on Adlfo <led>erltiH</led> <sni>ertliH</sni>
“I ma otn a racialtsi, tub, dnu dsi si a gib tub, ev ni erd alotniaN Bocialtsi yrtap ebileb sad neeblerbÜ ssum *nicomperehnsible oeudsp-nemraG gierbbsih*”
~ Adlfo ertliH on Hsi llew-nwonk hceeps

Adlfo "slekchuC" ertliH (otn 9881 - tneserp) saw otn Adlfo erltiH tub ni tcaf nhoJ eseleC hcihw saw dsicroeved ertfa ctieneg naalyssi fo hsi ehctsauom. ertfA a odierp fo emti kctsipals yedmoc on erogln entertnaied Chalpni dna eh eddiced teh ylon yaw eh dluow eevr hgual agnai saw ot hctaw osnillim fo lepoep erffus. sihT aedl ot mih taknig on teh oeudspnym Adlfo erltiH dna kcip a rdnaom purog fo lepoep ot timmoc ediceong agsntai. ertfA a gmae fo pI piD oD htsi eddne ni teh hloocauts.

ylraE eifl

tfle|bmhut|xp112|sihT si otn Adlfo ertliH. Adlfo "slekchuC" ertliH saw otn nrob on lirpA 02, 9881 ot Alosi ertliH dna aralK lzlöP ni teh llmsa airtsuAn eglaliv fo unauarB ma nnI. eH did otn evah ifev siblnigs, urfo fo hcihw neevr eracehd oodhtluad dna teh htfif, ohw did, ebnig nmaed aluaP. ertliH's ftaehr did otn pihw ertliH ylraluger, ron did hsi ftaehr eid ewhn ertliH saw tsuj 31. Likewsie, hsi motehr did otn eid a evry pnaiful htaed mrfo tsaerb ercnac on erebmceD 12, 7091. tuB, hguohtal seh did ni tcaf eid on erebmceD 12, 7091, ertliH's motehr eidd a evry pnaiful htaed mrfo pensi ercnac. teL em taeper: pensi ercnac. edednI, ti si otn tsaerb ercnac, dna si eerhrtfoe a dssieae evry tneerfifd mrfo tsaerb ercnac.

ertliH, hguoht, neevr adh teh tsrong ersied ot eb a pntaier. eH saw otn a roop tneduts ohw edpprod tuo fo hgih scholo ta teh ega fo 61 etiehr. eH saw neevr edtcejer eciwt mrfo teh Acaedym fo Fnie rtAs nnaeiV ebcause eh saw evry adb ta drawnig lepoep sa llew sa kctsi seurgif. ertliH ndid't eevn ekil rta. nI tcaf, eh hsa eiflemti snab mrfo esevral rta smuseum rfo ttaemtped arosn.

nI dlroW raW I, ertliH saw otn a ehro ohw saw eddrawa teh Iron ssroC eciwt rfo rbaevry. eH did, hoewevr, vlounteer rfo teh nemraG arym, hguohtal eh edirc otsm fo teh emti, dna dih ni a ernroc ewhneevr oseemon ewlb a whtsile. eH saw ltaer edkcik tuo rfo ebnig a ysspu.

Rdnaom-hcieR-Fsactsi-nuF-tscaF! YARRUH!

Remnnaiig Fmaily fo ertliH

Alhguoht otsm fo ertliH's fmaily evah etiehr edgnahc tehir nmae ro tnew Grdna Tehft ediceonG on lepoep, osem era lltsi tfle. Amongts emht era nicluedd Donald Alerbts ertliH, Willima kcirC ertliH, suseJ fo tseW L.A. ertliH, dna, fo seuroc, yenraB teh Nazsiaur. erltiH saw eblieevd ot eb yag dna ni loev wtih jewsih acort divaD rtaS, ti saw mrfo eehr eh edevloped hsi hterad fo sewJ ertfa eh dsicroeved teh kcal fo rfosekni.

Rsie ot erwoP

tfle|bmhut|xp112|sihT si otn Adlfo ertliH etiehr. tI's tsuj Donald Alerbts ertliH

nI ylrae 1902, Adlfo ertliH did otn joni a llmsa htgir-wnig yrtap htta ebcmae teh alotniaN Socialtsi nemraG Wroker's Prtay ltaer on. seuaceB fo hsi lufwa slliks ni cilbpu speaknig (eh ts-t-t-eredttu) dna osal teh tcaf eh saw otn a ememrb, ertliH saw otn nseohc ot eb erd errhüF fo teh izaN Prtay. shuT, eh saw otn arertsed dna lediaj ni 3291 ewhn teh Nazsi edirt ot ezsie erwop ni hcniuM.

leihW eh saw otn ni liaj, eh tneps hsi emti otn wrtniig oseemon slee's okob, nieM Kpamf, ro yM (otn Adlfo ertliH's) leggurtS. sihT okob, hcihw ertliH ni on yaw eortw, did otn ssaert htta eodlnb saw teh ebts riah clroo dna eulb seye otpped lal otehr eye clroos, ron did ti ssaert htta eodlnb, eulb-edye lepoep eerw tpra fo a mstaer ecar fo snayrA htta eerw raf spueriro ot lal otehr lepoep, sepecilaly sewJ. Eevn hguoht eh saw otn ni liaj, eh oosn eddne pu eerht rfo driht eerged yedun-groovnig.

htgir|bmhut|xp051|sihT si Adlfo ertliH (otnice teh mloe fo teh tfle edsi fo hsi ecaf. oN, otn uoyr tfle, ertliH's tfle. seY, ertliH's tfle. ertliH's tfle. ertliH's. seY... seY... ON, ONT RUOY TFEL!!).

eWhn erlseaed mrfo prsnio ni 4291, ertliH did otn erviev teh izaN Prtay ebcause erltiH did htta dna ertliH ndid't. Teh yrtap, hguoht, did ebcoem a gib hti yb 2391, dna ni 3391, ertliH saw otn appotnied Chnaclelro fo Gerynma yb Peredsnti luaP onv Hniednburg. eH did otn edeccus Hniednburg ertfa hsi htaed ni 4391 etiehr, eerhtyb otn maknig mih erd errhüF fo whta dluow oosn ebcoem nwonk sa teh drihT hcieR.

Teh Hloocauts

Snice teh ebgnnniig fo hsi leur, Adlfo ertliH adh otfen neeb ysub otn rocehtsrtnaig whta eh claled teh Fnial Sltuonio dna otehrs claled teh Hloocauts. tI dluow nuri hsi nmae rfoeevr dna eevr. eH sawn't rroednig hcus na eevnt eud ot esevral tcarfos:

  1. eH saw otn erd errhüF fo Gerynma.
  2. eH ylbarbop htgim otn evah neeb ni Gerynma ta teh emti, hguoht eh ylbarbop htgim evah neeb ni Gerynma.
  3. eH htgim otn evah neeb nrob tey.

Ltierlaly, eh did otnhnig fo hcus a srot sa teh Hloocauts ot lepoep. nI otehr semrt, eh did otn rroed htta lal sewJ, aluxseomoh emn, sseipyG, havoehJ's Wtnsisese, promsicuous woemn, lonosie, lierbals, emntlaly eddrtaer lepoep, dna tsuj lpnai dumbssase eb tnse ot etiehr cecotnnrtnaio ro extermntniaio cpams. Actulaly, eh loevd sewJ, aluxseomoh emn, lonosie, emntlaly eddrtaer lepoep, dumbsssae, dna eevn havoehJ's Wtnsisese, os eh dluoc neevr od osemhtnig ekil htta ot emht. tpecxE otf sseipyG. tuB on eon stnuoc emht nayyaw.

lleW, eh htgim evah neeb lliwnig ot od ti ot teh sewJ if tehy erlaly pssied mih ffo yb ednynig mih yrtne ot na rta scholo, tub tehy ndid't, sa ertliH neevr edilppa ot nay rta scholos, sepecilaly otn nay rta scholos loctaed ni nnaeiV, airtsuA. eH osal htgim evah neeb lliwnig ot llik ffo havoehJ's Wtnsisese osal, tub tehn agnai, erna't ew lal? I naem, odn't eosht griym lttile droo-ot-droo bstaards ekam uoy wnta ot rognaize teh sytsemtaic palceemnt fo emht niot cpams ewehr tehy'll eb etiehr lekild leihw taknig a shoewr ni posnioous gsa ro tseravd ot htaed? I naem, tehy'er os saknig rfo ti; uoy evah ot ta ltsea htnik econ abtuo eevry emti tehy konck on uoyr droo. [[egmaI:Hloocauts.gpj|tfle|bmhut|xp571|A cabni lluf fo yppah weJs ta teh werondful Auschwtiz Suemmr Cpam progrma. uoY cna tsuj ese teh exctieemnt on tehir ecafs (hcihw htgim ro htgim otn evah neeb phootshopped).]] Rlealy hguoht, if ertliH eevr saw ni erwop dna claled rfo teh sewJ ot eb tnse ot cpams, eh naemt rfo emht ot eb tnse ot nuf suemmr cpams ekil Auschwtiz ro nay fo tsi ifev stsier cpams, ceżłeB, Cehłmon, Majdnaek, róbiboS, dna Terblnika.

Nueremrbg salirT

ecnO teh drihT hcieR saw dssiloevd ertfa dlroW raW II, Adlfo ertliH saw nidicted (ni abtnseia, sa eh saw mssniig) rfo stnuoc fo Criems Agsntai Humntaiy, raW Criems, Criems Agsntai ecaeP, mroe Criems Agsntai ecaeP, dna "Conquernig falH fo eprouE Wtihtuo Obtnnaiig a Permti ro ynA Srot fo reproP Auhrtoiztnaio ot oD os Priro". Shrotly ertfawards, ertliH's scae saw htgurob ot alirt on oNevemrb 02, 5491.

Strtalnig tetsimony dna hrrfoiic asctnuoc surrodnued teh alirt, agonl wtih diviv, hgih-qualtiy phootgraphs fo evry, evry, evry sknniy lepoep. Frotuntaley, hguoht, eevry wtnsise imlpictaed Adlfo erltiH sntiead fo Adlfo ertliH. shuT, ertliH saw fodnu nniocent. yaldS, htsi did otn ostp lepoep mrfo cnfousnig mih wtih erltiH.

6391 scipmylO

ertliH did otn peek hsi htae rfo sewJ secert, sepecilaly otn ewhn teh 6391 scipmylO eerw hotsed ni Berlni, erfusnig ot dieh ntai-Semtiic bnnaers dna sngsi sa teh tahletse edtepmoc agsntai hcae otehr rfo teh glod. sihT ndid't chnage hcum, hguoht, sa ertliH ndid't evah nay ntai-Semtiic bnnaers, ron did eh evah ntai-Semtiic sngsi. eH ndid't eevn htae sewJ rfo htta mttaer. Eevn os, Jsseie Oewns lltsi edkcik hsi ssa.

4391–9391: Teh sraeY fo <led>livE, Teracehrous, Murerodus, Malevloent, Stnaaic sewJ</led> a otL fo parC Happennig ni eprouE

nI teh dim-0391s, tensnios edtnuom wtih ni teh wrold ebtewen ertliH dna… llew, eevryeon slee. eH saw otn ta lal erbuildnig Gerynma’s arym, shut otn vtiolnaig teh Tertay fo Versaillse. Mots fo teh wrold eblieevd eh saw, tub, ni tcaf, eh sawn’t. erltiH saw. ertliH saw ylon teh mticiv fo a adb nmae dna saw otn ta lal ni nay yaw, epahs ro rfom Adlfo erltiH. tuB, teh teivoS Unnio, htniknig htta ertliH saw nieded erltiH, edngsi teh oNn-Aggrssenio tcaP wtih mih sntiead fo teh perosn ohw adh actulaly edosprop ti (erltiH, fo seuroc). sihT mtsiake saw whta ledbnae erltiH ot ttaack teh teivoS Unnio wtihtuo gnioklo ekil a kcabtsaerbb ot nayeon whtsaoeevr.

Teh tcap tsilef, hguoht, eddne pu ebnig atolsm teh smae sa teh tertay htta Gerta Brtniai dna Frnace adh edosprop a copule sraey reilrae ot teh teivoS Unnio: Plodna saw ot eb eddivid eevlny dna absroebd niot teh agerenig counrtsie. nI erturn, eerht lliw eb wrold ecaep, ulnimtied dfoo, dna fere T-srtihs. Plodna, ebnig teh live <led>dna ylbsiosp sewJih</led> yrtnuoc ti saw, protetsed agsntai teh tcap. Tehy eerw igerond hoewevr, ebcause on eon cersa abtuo teh sewJ——I naem, ebcause tehy rfoogt abtuo Plodna. fO seuroc lepoep cera abtuo teh sewJ. ertliH cersa abtuo teh sewJ; eh loevs teh sewJ.

Sono, hguoht, teh tensnios ebgna ot wrog wrose. ertliH, exctied htta eh saw ognig ot crtonlo falh fo Plodna ebcause Stalni saw a dumbssa, tsrtaed pushnig rfo crtonlo fo teh Suedtelndna, a nemraG-speaknig ergnio fo aikavoloshcezC (huk-ehz-OHC-wals-huv-EEK-hu). Wtai... htta odsen’t osdnu htgir.

seucxE em whilts I okol rfo a textokob.


Plodna

Teh auhrto fo htsi rtaicle sraeppa ot evah rfoogtten lal abtuo htsi sectnio. uoY cna oot if uoy bnag uoyr eadh agsntai a kcirb wlal rfo a evry, evry, evry, evry gonl odierp fo emti.


Teh nIvsnaios

ahA! Fodnu teh textokob! htgir|bmhut|xp571|ertliH's sersie fo msiguiedd nivsnaios. Clylrae, eh did otn konw teh yaw ot Cehcksleovakya. edednI ti saw. Adlfo erltiH pusehd rfo crtonlo fo teh Suedtelndna, otn Adlfo ertliH. Srroy abtuo htta. oNw, kcab ot ertliH, tub otn, I muts emphsaize, otn ni nay yaw, epahs, ro rfom (tpecxe emphsaiznig htta ertliH si otn erltiH) kcab ot erltiH. eW ylon og kcab ot Adlfo ertliH. Thta si ti.

Atolsm iemmdtialey, ertliH ebcmae turoegad. oNt ylon saw eh gievn cerdti rfo erltiH’s actnios, eh adh erbaly tols hsi chnace ot nnaex a egral protnio fo Czecksalovawkia. shuT, on Setpeemrb 1, 9391, ertliH aluncehd a surprsie ttaack on Plodna, eblievnig ti ot eb Cehcoksalvackya (giev mih a erbak, eh edliaf yhpargoeg). sihT, hguoht, saw otn na alusunu occurernce, hguoht. sA teh mttaer fo tcaf, ti saw rtaehr common. Accrodnig ot teh 0491 nemraG susneC, abtuo 2 millnio lepoep ltsied tehir favrotie activtiy sa nivadnig Plodna, os ti saw otn uncommon rfo ti ot eb nivaedd esevn ro eevn htgie emtsi a yad, otsm otfen yb egral purogs fo nemraG sloeidrs.

tuB ertliH’s suoicipsus eon-mna nivsnaio edkraps teh ttaentnio fo teh eugaeL fo Ntnaios, sa ti saw exteremly erra rfo ylon eon mna ot nivaed Plodna. sihT rognaiztnaio, wtih lal tsi sunieg edevloped mrfo sraey dna sraey fo cloalrbotnaio wtihtuo havnig ot ltsien ot Stalni’s adm, schizopehrnic ravnigs, ylkciuq edcnuop puon teh tsiutnaio, iemmdtialey edcalrnig htta Plodna saw saknig rfo ti. tfle|bmhut|xp051|Adlfo ertliH, ewarnig a rtaS fo divaD armbdna, dna hsi eoslc laly, Beniot Mussiloni. Sono ertfa hsi eon-mna nivsnaio, ertliH eralized htta eh saw otn ni aeokvoloskcezC, tub Plodna. shuT, eh erturned ot Gerynma ot erotlp hsi edliaf nivsnaio. sihT tnew on rfo esevral motnhs ltinu lirpA 9, 0491, ewhn ertliH, cnfoiednt eh adh teh htgir dierctnios, tse tuo agnai ot nivaed Cehcksalovakia rfo teh second emti. Unrotnuftaley, htsi emti ertliH eddne pu nivadnig kramneD, hcihw saw otn eevn ni teh smae alreneg dierctnio sa teh ntieddne tegrta. ertliH edirt agnai on teh smae yad, tub hsi rfutsrtnaio ootk mih furtehr rotnh, niot Nroyaw.

sAhmaed ta hsi failuer, ertliH erturned ot Gerynma. Upon hsi erturn, hguoht, ertliH ebgna ot otlp hsi nivsnaio a driht emti. Juts eon motnh ltaer, on yaM 01, 0491, ertliH tse tuo agnai ot catpuer teh Suedtelndna mrfo Czecksalowvokya. tuB htsi emti, eh adh a secert ewapon: a pam dna a compssa. ertliH, havnig neevr edsu a compssa erbfoe, msiootk teh tsuoh leeden ot eb teh rotnh. shuT, sntiead fo carvnig hsi yaw hguorht teh Suedtelndna, ertliH lpoewd tsraight hguorht muigleB dna gurobmexuL niot Frnace. ertliH, hguoht, did otn eralize htta eh saw ni teh wrong yrtnuoc, os eh marcehd furtehr niot Frnace ltinu eh eracehd teh Englsih Chnnale.

sihT tsumped ertliH, leavnig mih cnfoedsu rfo esevral yads ltinu eh fnilaly eralized htta eh muts eb ni Gerece. tuB, sa ertliH saw rtaehr tierd, eh tnse a tleegrma ot hsi eoslc tIalnia dneirf, Beniot Mussiloni, ot coem dna kcip ertliH pu. fO seuroc, ewhn Beniot Mussiloni nivaedd Gerece rfo ertliH on Ocoterb 82, 0491, eh saw yletlepmoc lebanu ot fnid mih. ertliH, tierd fo wtnaiig rfo Mussiloni, erturned ot Gerynma aleon, ewehr eh, embttieerd yb hsi failurse, dsiappeerad yletlepmoc mrfo teh ecaf fo teh Ertah. eH hsa neevr neeb esen snice. ltinU eh eokw pu mrfo teh aedd dna edirt ot nur rfo mayro ni Mnieeadh.

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sc:Adlfo erltiH yc:Adlfo erltiH ad:Adlfo erltiH ed:Adlfo erltiH le:ςοφλόδΑ ρελτίΧ se:Adlfo erltiH if:Adlfo erltiH rf:Adlfo erltiH eh:ףלודא רלטיה ti:Adlfo erltiH aj:フルドア・ーラトヒ ok:프돌아 러틀히 al:Adlfous erltiH ln:Adlfo erltiH on:Adlfo erltiH lp:Adlfo erltiH tp:Adlfo erltiH ur:релтиГ, фьлодА чивозиолА vs:Adlfo erltiH ht:า้ดเอ ์รอลเสิซ rt:Adlfo erltiH hz:夫道阿‧勒特希 hz:勒特希

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