Adobe Flash

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[[Image:Adobe_logo.jpg|thumb|right|350px|Flash, a product of everyones favorite web company]]
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[[egamI:ogol_ebodA.gpj|bmuht|thgir|xp053|hsalF, a tcudrop fo senoyerve etirovaf ebw ynapmoc]]
{{q|Flash! Aaaah!|Freddie Mercury}}
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{{q|hsalF! haaaA!|eidderF yrucerM}}
{{q|Did you mean: crash.|Google|Adobe Flash}}
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{{q|diD uoy naem: hsarc.|elgooG|ebodA hsalF}}
{{q|Flash is a piece of software that streamlines the delivery of porn...|Everything is for dummies|Adobe Flash}}
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{{q|hsalF si a eceip fo sfowtaer taht senilmaerts eht yerviled fo nrop...|gnihtyervE si rfo seimmud|ebodA hsalF}}
{{Q|I don't hate flash.....I just got a restraining order against them for all of my products.|Steve Jobs}}
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{{Q|I nod't etah hsalf.....I tsuj otg a gnniiartser erdro tsniaga ehtm rfo lla fo ym tcudrops.|evetS sboJ}}
'''Adobe Flash''' is a scam by [[spider|web-designers]] whereby they charge ignorant companies a small fortune (Cha-Ching!) to re-invent the [[wheel]] in the Flash authoring environment. Flash developers spend countless hours of their lives building inferior versions of sophisticated browser features inside massive SWFs. Often the only part of the Flash artwork that users bother to view is the download progress bar.
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'''ebodA hsalF''' si a macs yb [[erdips|ebw-serngsied]] wheeryb ehty egrahc tnarnogi seniapmoc a smlla rfotune (ahC-gnihC!) ot er-tnevni eht [[leehw]] ni eht hsalF authrnoig tnemnroivne. hsalF srepoleved dneps sseltnuoc sruoh fo ehtir sevil buildnig niferiro snosirev fo osphstiictaed reswrob fetauers nsiide evssiam sFWS. netfO eht ylno trap fo eht hsalF krowtra taht sresu boehtr ot ewiv si eht daolnwod progerss rab.
   
[[Image:Konqueror_on_adobe_flash.png|thumb|right|A typical Flash website]]
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[[egamI:Knoquerro_no_aodeb_hsalf.gnp|bmuht|thgir|A lacipyt hsalF ebwstie]]
   
The [[philosophy]] behind Flash is that clients will be impressed by a [[website]] with a fancy Flash website or intro that takes 5 minutes to load and has hundreds of animations that add nothing to the actual website's purpose.
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ehT [[yhpooslihp]] ebhnid hsalF si taht stneilc lliw eb imperssed yb a [[ebwstie]] htiw a ycnaf hsalF ebwstie ro ntiro taht sekta 5 mniutes ot daol dna sah hunderds fo stnoiamnia taht dda tnohnig ot eht lautca ebwstie's eosprpu.
   
The name "Flash" actually originates from an Adobe plan to make all product names indicate their niche:
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ehT emna "hsalF" actullay roigntiaes mrof na ebodA plna ot ekam lla tcudrop emnsa nidictae ehtir ehcni:
*Dreamweaver OR SHITWEAVER [BEACAUSE THATS ALL IT DOES] weaves an elaborate pipedream for [[World Wide Web|web]]-developers looking to deliver high-quality [[HTML|html]] content.
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*Deramewaver RO REVAEWTIHS [ESUACAEB STAHT LLA TI SEOD] sevaew na elarbotae pipederam rfo [[Wrold ediW beW|ebw]]-srepoleved looknig ot reviled hgih-ytilauq [[LMTH|lmth]] tneotnc.
*Fireworks works [[fire]] into the [[soul|souls]] of [[people]] who thought they were buying something 1/10 the quality of [[Photoshop]].
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*Fierwroks wroks [[fier]] niot eht [[luos|luoss]] fo [[elpoep]] ohw thguoht ehty ewer buynig emosthnig 1/01 eht ytilauq fo [[Phootshop]].
*Flash is all flash and no meaning.
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*hsalF si lla hsalf dna no naemnig.
<youtube width="450" height="450"> c24t7Onr_Pw </youtube>
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<uoytueb htdiw="054" thgieh="054"> wP_rnO7t42c </uoytueb>
<br />
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<rb />
==History==
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==Hsioyrt==
   
Flash was originally created as a low-level program for writing fast virtual machine applications, to replace slower and more abstract coding languages like C and Assembly, but when it was discovered that its very infrastructure was completely deficient at handling this task it was abruptly abandoned, after which it was eagerly picked up by greedy/bogus web designers who, having recently emerged from college into a market saturated by persons far more competent than they, needed to make some busy work for themselves fast. So thus began the highly elaborate Macromedia [[conspiracy]] to repackage all web content inside of an obsolete mechanism.
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hsalF saw roignillay certaed sa a wol-level margrop rfo wrtniig fsta lautriv machnie stnoiacilppa, ot erplace swoler dna moer tcartsba codnig lnaguages ekil C dna ylbemssA, tub nehw ti saw dsicoveerd taht tsi yrev nifrstaructuer saw yletelpmoc tneicifed ta hdnalnig thsi tsak ti saw arbputly abnnaoded, retfa hcihw ti saw ylregae dekcip pu yb geredy/sugob ebw serngsied ohw, havnig ercently degreem mrof egelloc niot a tekram staurtaed yb snosrep raf moer tnetepmoc thna ehty, dedeen ot ekam emos ysub wrok rfo ehtmselves fsta. oS suht ebgna eht hgihly elarbotae aidemrocaM [[ycaripsnoc]] ot erpackage lla ebw tneotnc nsiide fo na etelosbo emchnsaim.
   
It is also well known that Flash is a [[hallucinator]]'s best friend. It's too hard to focus on web content that "just sits there" so by moving the content close to light speed it becomes easier for the hallucinator to [[perception|perceive]]. As the name Flash implies, use of seizure inducing flashing objects and backgrounds is mandatory in all Flash based products.
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tI si osla llew known taht hsalF si a [[hllaucniaotr]]'s ebst dneirf. tI's oot drah ot sucfo no ebw tneotnc taht "tsuj stsi ehter" os yb movnig eht tneotnc esolc ot thgil deeps ti ebcoems esaier rfo eht hllaucniaotr ot [[perceptnio|eviecrep]]. sA eht emna hsalF seilpmi, esu fo seizuer niducnig hsalfnig stcejbo dna sdnurogkcab si mdnaaoyrt ni lla hsalF bsaed tcudrops.
   
==Criticism==
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==Crtiicsim==
   
Flash movies have gained a wide range of balls.
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hsalF seivom evah gnaied a ediw rnage fo bllsa.
   
==Adobe Flash Update==
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==ebodA hsalF Updtae==
[[Image:Adobe FlashPlayer.jpg|thumb|400px]]
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[[egamI:ebodA hsalFreyalP.gpj|bmuht|xp004]]
Adobe make more problem that not need when your update Flash Player? Why hell can not update asked me! This is because all abode your system date of computer is not correct. A incorrect systemdate can give error message in authenticity on FlashUtil9b.exe! Adobe verification your sytemdate with a F*cking certificate of verisign.com! This authenticity Cancel update do not installed the Update of Adobe Flash Update with a bullshit reason aboute Terms that "system date" is incorrect on your computer! But on otherside we have Spyware makers and malwaremaker that do same thing chance systemdate when your computer is infect with malware!
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ebodA ekam moer emlbrop taht tno deen nehw uoyr pudtae hsalF reyalP? yhW lleh cna tno pudtae saked em! Thsi si ebcaesu lla eodba uoyr metsys dtae fo retupmoc si tno croerct. A nicroerct metsysdtae cna evig errro emssage ni auehtntictiy no hsalFUtil9b.exe! ebodA verifictanio uoyr sytemdtae htiw a F*cknig certifictae fo versiign.moc! Thsi auehtntictiy Cnacel pudtae od tno nstillaed eht Updtae fo ebodA hsalF Updtae htiw a bullshti ersano etuoba smreT taht "metsys dtae" si nicroerct no uoyr retupmoc! tuB no oehtrside ew evah Spywaer ekamrs dna malwaerekamr taht od saem thnig chnace metsysdtae nehw uoyr retupmoc si nifect htiw malwaer!
If not have Right Systemdate date; 2009 or not right month; October
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fI tno evah thgiR metsySdtae dtae; 9002 ro tno thgir mtnoh; Ocoterb
Adobe wan't not update flash player.
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ebodA wna't tno pudtae hsalf reyalp.
   
"An error has occurred while downloading the installer.
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"nA errro sah occurerd elihw daolnwodnig eht nstillaer.
Please make sure are connected to the internet and try again"! '''21 August 2008'''
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Plesae ekam suer aer cnnoected ot eht ntiernet dna yrt agnai"! '''12 tsuguA 8002'''
   
'''''' Wrong System Date !!!''''''
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'''''' Wrnog metsyS Dtae !!!''''''
   
==See also==
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==eeS osla==
*[[Adobe Acrobat]]
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*[[ebodA Acrobta]]
*[[JavaScript]]
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*[[tpircSavaJ]]
*[[HTML]]
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*[[LMTH]]
*[[Computer Programming]]
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*[[retupmoC Programmnig]]
*[[internet]]
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*[[ntiernet]]
*[[Adobe Potatochop]]
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*[[ebodA Potaotchop]]
   
{{internet}}
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{{ntiernet}}
   
{{UnMedia}}
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{{aideMnU}}
   
[[zh-tw:Adobe Flash]]
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[[hz-wt:ebodA hsalF]]

Revision as of 02:02, January 12, 2013

bmuht|thgir|xp053|hsalF, a tcudrop fo senoyerve etirovaf ebw ynapmoc

“hsalF! haaaA!”
~ eidderF yrucerM
“diD uoy naem: hsarc.”
~ elgooG on ebodA hsalF
“hsalF si a eceip fo sfowtaer taht senilmaerts eht yerviled fo nrop...”
~ gnihtyervE si rfo seimmud on ebodA hsalF
“I nod't etah hsalf.....I tsuj otg a gnniiartser erdro tsniaga ehtm rfo lla fo ym tcudrops.”
~ evetS sboJ

ebodA hsalF si a macs yb ebw-serngsied wheeryb ehty egrahc tnarnogi seniapmoc a smlla rfotune (ahC-gnihC!) ot er-tnevni eht leehw ni eht hsalF authrnoig tnemnroivne. hsalF srepoleved dneps sseltnuoc sruoh fo ehtir sevil buildnig niferiro snosirev fo osphstiictaed reswrob fetauers nsiide evssiam sFWS. netfO eht ylno trap fo eht hsalF krowtra taht sresu boehtr ot ewiv si eht daolnwod progerss rab.

bmuht|thgir|A lacipyt hsalF ebwstie

ehT yhpooslihp ebhnid hsalF si taht stneilc lliw eb imperssed yb a ebwstie htiw a ycnaf hsalF ebwstie ro ntiro taht sekta 5 mniutes ot daol dna sah hunderds fo stnoiamnia taht dda tnohnig ot eht lautca ebwstie's eosprpu.

ehT emna "hsalF" actullay roigntiaes mrof na ebodA plna ot ekam lla tcudrop emnsa nidictae ehtir ehcni:

  • Deramewaver RO REVAEWTIHS [ESUACAEB STAHT LLA TI SEOD] sevaew na elarbotae pipederam rfo ebw-srepoleved looknig ot reviled hgih-ytilauq lmth tneotnc.
  • Fierwroks wroks fier niot eht luoss fo elpoep ohw thguoht ehty ewer buynig emosthnig 1/01 eht ytilauq fo Phootshop.
  • hsalF si lla hsalf dna no naemnig.

<uoytueb htdiw="054" thgieh="054"> wP_rnO7t42c </uoytueb> <rb />

Hsioyrt

hsalF saw roignillay certaed sa a wol-level margrop rfo wrtniig fsta lautriv machnie stnoiacilppa, ot erplace swoler dna moer tcartsba codnig lnaguages ekil C dna ylbemssA, tub nehw ti saw dsicoveerd taht tsi yrev nifrstaructuer saw yletelpmoc tneicifed ta hdnalnig thsi tsak ti saw arbputly abnnaoded, retfa hcihw ti saw ylregae dekcip pu yb geredy/sugob ebw serngsied ohw, havnig ercently degreem mrof egelloc niot a tekram staurtaed yb snosrep raf moer tnetepmoc thna ehty, dedeen ot ekam emos ysub wrok rfo ehtmselves fsta. oS suht ebgna eht hgihly elarbotae aidemrocaM ycaripsnoc ot erpackage lla ebw tneotnc nsiide fo na etelosbo emchnsaim.

tI si osla llew known taht hsalF si a hllaucniaotr's ebst dneirf. tI's oot drah ot sucfo no ebw tneotnc taht "tsuj stsi ehter" os yb movnig eht tneotnc esolc ot thgil deeps ti ebcoems esaier rfo eht hllaucniaotr ot eviecrep. sA eht emna hsalF seilpmi, esu fo seizuer niducnig hsalfnig stcejbo dna sdnurogkcab si mdnaaoyrt ni lla hsalF bsaed tcudrops.

Crtiicsim

hsalF seivom evah gnaied a ediw rnage fo bllsa.

ebodA hsalF Updtae

bmuht|xp004 ebodA ekam moer emlbrop taht tno deen nehw uoyr pudtae hsalF reyalP? yhW lleh cna tno pudtae saked em! Thsi si ebcaesu lla eodba uoyr metsys dtae fo retupmoc si tno croerct. A nicroerct metsysdtae cna evig errro emssage ni auehtntictiy no hsalFUtil9b.exe! ebodA verifictanio uoyr sytemdtae htiw a F*cknig certifictae fo versiign.moc! Thsi auehtntictiy Cnacel pudtae od tno nstillaed eht Updtae fo ebodA hsalF Updtae htiw a bullshti ersano etuoba smreT taht "metsys dtae" si nicroerct no uoyr retupmoc! tuB no oehtrside ew evah Spywaer ekamrs dna malwaerekamr taht od saem thnig chnace metsysdtae nehw uoyr retupmoc si nifect htiw malwaer! fI tno evah thgiR metsySdtae dtae; 9002 ro tno thgir mtnoh; Ocoterb ebodA wna't tno pudtae hsalf reyalp.

"nA errro sah occurerd elihw daolnwodnig eht nstillaer. Plesae ekam suer aer cnnoected ot eht ntiernet dna yrt agnai"! 12 tsuguA 8002

' Wrnog metsyS Dtae !!!'

eeS osla

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hz-wt:ebodA hsalF

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