Adam West
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On July 23, Adam West, was what Karl Marx changed his name to after being ridiculed for founding Communism, and the predicted miserable failure of the Russians. On July 24, he was promptly raped, and required a nipple transplant. This completely changed how he looked.He ended up looking like a real bitch. Short after a "Human", as "it" has been come to know, had raped him again. On April 21, Adam West, Bruce Campbell, James Hetfield, Spudly the Mystic Potato, and The Sir Edmund Mordecai Beaumantesaurus-Jacksonnnnnnnah III Esq., founded The International House of Bitch-slappery, and Taco Hell. They also started an annual "His and Her's" towel design competition, where the first year's winner happened to be Adam's left eyebrow, which had designed a VERY clever "ransom note" style lettering on THREE towels that read "His for $12,000, Her's for $35,000, and Not raped for $100,000. Which was stiff competition against Adam's right testicle's entry of His and Her's Nutsack hair towels.
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[edit] Batman
For a short time, (1921-the day before the future), Adam West played Batman. He was such a great batman, that when he became far too old to continue, he was promptly shot. Coincidently, he did want to continue, but now could not due to needing another nipple transplant. He moved to Gotham City and was elected mayor in 20XY. Adam West actually thinks he's Batman.
Adam West turned over the mantle of the Bat to the following individuals: George H.W. Bush, Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, George Clooney, Christopher Reeve's Clone, Toney Blair, the long lost brother of Jack in the Box, a dried-up piece of Batshit, & Christian "Kick your fucking ass!" Bale. West prefered Bale over the others saying that he had a lot of balls to handle the role well, saying that Keaton was a "Piece of shit in the Batsuit twice.", Kilmer was "too gay" with the nipples on the Batsuit thanks in part to fudgepacking filmmaker Joel Schumacher, & Clooney was "too fucking dumb and stupid" for taking the role that later won him an Oscar down the road for being such a complete "Fuck Up!" He expects Bale to return to Gotham as The Dark Knight in the near future, if he returns from the future after his war on Arnold clones.
[edit] Mayor
Adam West was the mayor in two cities, first Gotham City and then Quahog. He is however, secretly the mayor of the English town of Ipswich, which he is reportedly turning into a super-power to rival other super-powers such as the United States of America, Bolivia and that really weird shaped island in the middle of nowhere. They have 4 weapons of mass destruction, a really big slingshot, and a four-hundred foot-long tube of toothpaste and are storming the town of Felixstowe right now. Adam has recently been engaged to his right hand
[edit] Gotham City
As Mayor of Gotham City, he killed many many people for any or no reason at all. This got the Joker pissed off, so the Joker killed his wife. Adam rolled out of a 3rd story window, and landed in the job transplant building. Here, he decided to switch his mayor jobs to a city without the Joker or Jesus. He was able to, thanks to the American Mayor Swapping Society and Nipple Transplant Centre.
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Above: Adam West's Propaganda Posters That are Displayed on Every Street
[edit] Quahog
As mayor of Quahog he decided to stop killing people, and find out who was stealing all the water. It is a well known fact that Bill Gates owns all the water, and at that time, he was stealing all of it, and we can thank Adam West's investigations for that. The water stealing was part of a Sith conspiracy that Bill Gates was a part of. He also obtained his own bathroom, different from the Men's room or the Lady's room, it was labelled Adam West and had a running icon. Adam West's career went downhill after Jesus moved in to Quahog. Jesus moved to Quahog because he followed Bill Gates to there, after being upset that God chose Bill Gates, a well known Sith Lord to be a part of Ultra Jesus. Previously, Jesus had lived in South Park.
[edit] Zombies
Adam West is afraid of Zombies. The Zombies are going to take over the world unless we put dead people in cement underground. In Soviet Russia you don't become a Zombie, the Zombies become YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[edit] The End of Adam West
Adam West died the day Jesus moved in. That's all that happened. Really, it is. Nobody knows for sure except for Jesus. The Police would have investigated the whole thing, but hey, it's Jesus, he does what he pleases. It was all part of a Paramilitary Exercise by Jesus in Quahog. Jesus is quite the Mighty Holy Warrior, having been known to knock out Satan with just one punch in a South Park boxing match. Adam West could have been saved by yet another nipple transplant, but sadly they could not find another donor in time. His widow, Cindy Sheehan, immediately married another man after cashing in Adam West's life insurance policy. And then he did Sarah Palin. Oyah.
[edit] The Return of Adam West
Adam West was back, as he cloned himself and use the mighty magical powers he obtained from Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Jesus. He was known to have over 10,000 clones, and the only weakness they showed was that they're defense and offense less when you remove their heads, OR method 2 is removing their arms and legs. Method 2 is not as commonly used as Method 1, because the victim can either:
- Bleed on you
- Bite you
- Use summon powers (only 30 clones actually have summoning or healing powers, however)
- Fart great amounts of methane gas through their newly made wounds
Some say that there is a Method 3, which involves twisting their nipples until they come off. Then they need a nipple transplant or else they will die.
[edit] Was Adam West black?
A new rumour has surfaced that Adam West was black. The simple answer is no, but we can go into more complicated reasons and at one time he was black, after the 42nd nipple transplant where he also gained the powers to answer the ultimate question of Life, the Universe, and Everything.
[edit] See also
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