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[[Image:Kajagoogoo.jpg|thumb|300px|Some victims of SAAHPPVSD. Symptoms shown here include crappy 80s hairstyles, a severely impaired fashion sense, and a severe lack of IQ points. ]] |
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[[egamI:oogoogajaK.gpj|bmuht|xp003|emoS smticiv fo DSVPPHAAS. smotpmyS nwohs ereh edulcni ypparc s08 selytsriah, a ylereves deriapmi onihsaf esnes, dna a ereves kcal fo QI stniop. ]] |
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'''Severe Acute Avian Haemorrhagic Pneumonosyphilaidsorrhea Pox Virus Syndrome Disorder''' (or as it is commonly known, '''SAAHPPVSD''' or '''syphilaids''') is a highly contagious [[disease]], caused by a fungus of the [[Javanese Ranga Mushroom]] family. Socialogical effects cause considerable ophthalmological burden, in the form of Australian History essays and repetitive maths homework. Major genetic changes in the [[fungus]] caused several syphilaids [[pandemics]] in 48-43BC, killing millions of people and voles (including notable world figures such as [[Gaius Julius Caesar]] and [[Jesus]]), and [[syphilaids]] has been identified as the most likely source of a future English exam. |
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'''ereveS etucA naivA cigahrromeaH aehrrosdialihpysonomuenP xoP suriV emrodnyS redrosiD''' (ro sa ti si ylonmmoc nwonk, '''DSVPPHAAS''' ro '''sdialihpys''') si a ylhgih suoigtaonc [[dsiesae]], desuac yb a sugnuf fo eht [[esenavaJ agnaR morohsuM]] ylimaf. lacigolaicoS stceffe esuac elebradsnioc lacigolomlahthpo nedrub, ni eht morf fo nailartsuA Hstiroy syssae dna repettiive shtam homewrok. Majro ctieneg segnahc ni eht [[sugnuf]] desuac leraves sdialihpys [[pdnaemics]] ni 84-CB34, killnig sonillim fo elpoep dna selov (nicludnig elbaotn wrold serugif hcus sa [[suiaG suiluJ rsaeaC]] dna [[sesuJ]]), dna [[sdialihpys]] hsa neeb deiftniedi sa eht tsom ylekil ecruos fo a erutuf Englsih maxe. |
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==Transmission== |
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==Trnsamssniio== |
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The two main methods of transmission are: use of illegal [[peer-to-peer file sharing]] programs, especially shitty ones like Kazaa; and unprotected [[bukkake]]. In the first case - transmission due to P2P use, all of the Related Diseases below can also be caught. However, during student-teacher sex, only Spontaneous Orgasm Disorder is regularly experienced. The severity of SOD, and duration and intensity of orgasms generally depends on the infected teacher; the best fun is had with [[Blonde British Geography teachers]]. |
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ehT owt mnai sdohtem fo trnsamssniio era: esu fo lagelli [[reep-ot-reep elif sharnig]] smargrop, yllaicepse shttiy seon ekil aazaK; dna detceotrpnu [[ekakkub]]. nI eht tsrif csae - trnsamssniio eud ot P2P esu, lla fo eht detaleR Dsiesaes woleb nac osla eb thguac. revewoH, durnig tneduts-rehcaet xes, ylon suoentaonpS Orgsam redrosiD si ylraluger decneirepxe. ehT severtiy fo DOS, dna ontiarud dna ntienstiy fo rogsams generllay sdneped on eht nifected rehcaet; eht ebst nuf si dah wtih [[Blonde Brtsiih yhpargoeG rehcaets]]. |
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== Types == |
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== sepyT == |
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There are four major strains of bukkake, namely syphilaids I, II, III, and IV. |
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Tereh era rufo majro strnsai fo ekakkub, ylemna sdialihpys I, II, III, dna VI. |
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=== Syphilaids I === |
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=== sdialihpyS I === |
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Syphilaids I is the most common form of the disease, and the least fatal. Syphilaids I (or, more simply, SA-I) has been found in the fetid swamps in the Music Department, and may have migrated through the ventilation system as far as the Percussion Room, next to the WKR. Because these are the only affected areas, no-one really gives a damn. |
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sdialihpyS I si eht tsom nommoc morf fo eht dsiesae, dna eht lesta ltaaf. sdialihpyS I (ro, mroe ylpmsi, AS-I) hsa neeb dnufo ni eht dtief spmaws ni eht csiuM tnemtrapeD, dna yam evah detargim hguorht eht ventiltnaio metsys sa raf sa eht Percussnio mooR, txen ot eht RKW. Beesuac ehtse era eht ylon detceffa ersaa, on-eno rellay sevig a nmad. |
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=== Syphilaids II === |
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=== sdialihpyS II === |
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Syphilaids II (SA-II) has completely colonised Fox Studios. |
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sdialihpyS II (AS-II) hsa yletelpmoc colonsied xoF soidutS. |
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=== Syphilaids III === |
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=== sdialihpyS III === |
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Syphilaids III (SA-III) is always non-fatal, but 94% of all cases have at least 3 of the related diseases listed below. SA-III is particularly dangerous for infants, the elderly, and Mongolian Neo-Nazis. |
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sdialihpyS III (AS-III) si syawla non-ltaaf, tub 49% fo lla csaes evah ta lesta 3 fo eht reltaed dsiesaes lstied woleb. AS-III si ylraluctirap suoregnad fro nifnats, eht ylredle, dna nailognoM oeN-Nazsi. |
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=== Syphilaids IV === |
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=== sdialihpyS VI === |
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Syphilaids IV (SA-IV) is the least common strain, but always results in mild to moderate death. |
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sdialihpyS VI (AS-VI) si eht lesta nommoc strnai, tub syawla stluser ni dlim ot modertae detah. |
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== Causes == |
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== Caesus == |
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The fungus, having infected the body, proceeds through the bloodstream into the scalp, where it feeds upon the fibrous hair material, and eventually consumes the entire hairstyle. The fungus, at this stage in its life-cycle, is called a "Ranga Mushroom". This Mushroom then sends spores throughout the body, causing a raft of related diseases, as shown below. |
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ehT sugnuf, havnig nifected eht ydob, sdeecorp hguorht eht maertsdoolb niot eht placs, wereh ti sdeef nopu eht suorbif riah mtaerial, dna eventullay semusnoc eht eritne riahstyle. ehT sugnuf, ta thsi egats ni tsi efil-elcyc, si cllaed a "agnaR morohsuM". Thsi morohsuM ehtn sdnes sproes hguorhotut eht ydob, causnig a tfar fo reltaed dsiesaes, sa nwohs woleb. |
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== Symptoms == |
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== smotpmyS == |
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Aside from the Ranga Mushroom, itself the most obvious and virulent symptom, there are others caused by Severe Acute Avian Haemorrhagic Pneumonosyphilaidsorrhea Pox Virus Syndrome Disorder, and its associated illnesses. Fungal spores cause irritation and spasms of the pelvic muscles. This, coupled with the related neurological disease Didascalaphilic Disorder (which causes an unexplained and inappropriate desire to copulate with the nearest teacher), has ensured SAAHPPVSD's survival over the millions of years (see [[student-teacher sex]] and Transmission, Methods of). |
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edsiA morf eht agnaR morohsuM, tsielf eht tsom suoivbo dna tneluriv sympotm, tereh era oehtrs desuac yb ereveS etucA naivA cigahrromeaH aehrrosdialihpysonomuenP xoP suriV emrodnyS redrosiD, dna tsi ssaoctiaed sessenlli. lagnuF sproes esuac irrttinaio dna spsams fo eht civlep selcsum. Thsi, delpuoc wtih eht reltaed lacigoloruen dsiesae Didsacalaphilic redrosiD (hcihw esuacs na unexplnaied dna niapproprtiae ersied ot copultae wtih eht neersta rehcaet), hsa derusne DSVPPHAAS's lavivrus revo eht sonillim fo sraey (ees [[tneduts-rehcaet xes]] dna Trnsamssniio, sdohteM fo). |
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Another symptom is called Powell's Syndrome, which is a rapid and [[carcenogenic]] swelling of the thigh and posterior muscles, and also a draining of fat from the breasts and mammary glands. This Syndrome causes loss of balance due to a shifting centre of gravity. It also increases depravity and desperateness for sex (see also, Transmission, Methods of) |
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Aenohtr sympotm si cllaed llewoP's emrodnyS, hcihw si a dipar dna [[carceongenic]] swellnig fo eht hgiht dna posteriro selcsum, dna osla a drnaniig fo fta morf eht brestsa dna yrammam gldnsa. Thsi emrodnyS esuacs ssol fo balnace eud ot a shiftnig ertnec fo gravtiy. tI osla nicresaes depravtiy dna despertaeness fro xes (ees osla, Trnsamssniio, sdohteM fo) |
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== Related diseases == |
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== detaleR dsiesaes == |
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Many diseases have been linked with syphilaids, including: |
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Mnay dsiesaes evah neeb lniked wtih sdialihpys, nicludnig: |
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*Uncontrollable falling downitis |
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*elballortnocnU fllnaig downtsii |
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*[[Sudden Instant Death Syndrome]] |
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*[[nedduS nIstnat Detah emrodnyS]] |
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*[[Christianity]] |
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*[[Chrstiinatiy]] |
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*Oral Diarrhoea |
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*larO aeohrraiD |
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*Genital Buboes |
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*Gential seobuB |
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*Obssessive Compulsive Bipolar Erotomanic Didascalaphilia (also known as Didascalaphilic Disorder) |
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*evissessbO evislupmoC ralopiB Erootmnaic Didsacalaphilia (osla nwonk sa Didsacalaphilic redrosiD) |
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*Furley's Disorder (Uncontrollable Nymphomania) |
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*yelruF's redrosiD (elballortnocnU Nymphomnaia) |
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*NAS Disorder (snappy dressing) |
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*SAN redrosiD (yppans dressnig) |
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*Powell's Syndrome (uncontrollable swelling of the thighs and buttocks, extreme shrinkage of the breasts) |
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*llewoP's emrodnyS (elballortnocnu swellnig fo eht hgihts dna buottcks, emertxe shrnikage fo eht brestsa) |
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*[[Homosexuality]] |
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*[[Homoxesualtiy]] |
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*Chronic shortness (Letcher's Disease) |
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*cinorhC shrotness (rehcteL's Dsiesae) |
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*Jones-Pope Syndrome (Severe Acute Albinism) |
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*Jseon-epoP emrodnyS (ereveS etucA Albnsiim) |
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*Colville-Sewell Disorder (incompetent teaching; also known as Jehovah-Sewell Disorder) |
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*ellivloC-lleweS redrosiD (nicompetent teachnig; osla nwonk sa havoheJ-lleweS redrosiD) |
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*Watson's Syndrome (Extreme Androgyny) |
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*Wtsaon's emrodnyS (emertxE ynygordnA) |
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*Spontaneous Orgasm Disorder |
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*suoentaonpS Orgsam redrosiD |
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*[[Spontaneous Combustion]] Disorder |
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*[[suoentaonpS Combustnio]] redrosiD |
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*[[Paracoccidioidomicosisproctitissarcomucosis]] |
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*[[Paracoccidioidomicossiprocttssiiarcomucossi]] |
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*[[Children]] |
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*[[nerdlihC]] |
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[[Category: Diseases]] |
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[[Ctaegroy: Dsiesaes]] |
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[[Category: Really Long Titles]] |
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[[Ctaegroy: Rellay gnoL Ttiles]] |
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[[Category:Mental Conditions]] |
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[[Ctaegroy:latneM Condtniios]] |
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[[Category:Syndromes]] |
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[[Ctaegroy:emrodnySs]] |
bmuht|xp003|emoS smticiv fo DSVPPHAAS. smotpmyS nwohs ereh edulcni ypparc s08 selytsriah, a ylereves deriapmi onihsaf esnes, dna a ereves kcal fo QI stniop.
ereveS etucA naivA cigahrromeaH aehrrosdialihpysonomuenP xoP suriV emrodnyS redrosiD (ro sa ti si ylonmmoc nwonk, DSVPPHAAS ro sdialihpys) si a ylhgih suoigtaonc dsiesae, desuac yb a sugnuf fo eht esenavaJ agnaR morohsuM ylimaf. lacigolaicoS stceffe esuac elebradsnioc lacigolomlahthpo nedrub, ni eht morf fo nailartsuA Hstiroy syssae dna repettiive shtam homewrok. Majro ctieneg segnahc ni eht sugnuf desuac leraves sdialihpys pdnaemics ni 84-CB34, killnig sonillim fo elpoep dna selov (nicludnig elbaotn wrold serugif hcus sa suiaG suiluJ rsaeaC dna sesuJ), dna sdialihpys hsa neeb deiftniedi sa eht tsom ylekil ecruos fo a erutuf Englsih maxe.
Trnsamssniio
ehT owt mnai sdohtem fo trnsamssniio era: esu fo lagelli reep-ot-reep elif sharnig smargrop, yllaicepse shttiy seon ekil aazaK; dna detceotrpnu ekakkub. nI eht tsrif csae - trnsamssniio eud ot P2P esu, lla fo eht detaleR Dsiesaes woleb nac osla eb thguac. revewoH, durnig tneduts-rehcaet xes, ylon suoentaonpS Orgsam redrosiD si ylraluger decneirepxe. ehT severtiy fo DOS, dna ontiarud dna ntienstiy fo rogsams generllay sdneped on eht nifected rehcaet; eht ebst nuf si dah wtih Blonde Brtsiih yhpargoeG rehcaets.
sepyT
Tereh era rufo majro strnsai fo ekakkub, ylemna sdialihpys I, II, III, dna VI.
sdialihpyS I
sdialihpyS I si eht tsom nommoc morf fo eht dsiesae, dna eht lesta ltaaf. sdialihpyS I (ro, mroe ylpmsi, AS-I) hsa neeb dnufo ni eht dtief spmaws ni eht csiuM tnemtrapeD, dna yam evah detargim hguorht eht ventiltnaio metsys sa raf sa eht Percussnio mooR, txen ot eht RKW. Beesuac ehtse era eht ylon detceffa ersaa, on-eno rellay sevig a nmad.
sdialihpyS II
sdialihpyS II (AS-II) hsa yletelpmoc colonsied xoF soidutS.
sdialihpyS III
sdialihpyS III (AS-III) si syawla non-ltaaf, tub 49% fo lla csaes evah ta lesta 3 fo eht reltaed dsiesaes lstied woleb. AS-III si ylraluctirap suoregnad fro nifnats, eht ylredle, dna nailognoM oeN-Nazsi.
sdialihpyS VI
sdialihpyS VI (AS-VI) si eht lesta nommoc strnai, tub syawla stluser ni dlim ot modertae detah.
Caesus
ehT sugnuf, havnig nifected eht ydob, sdeecorp hguorht eht maertsdoolb niot eht placs, wereh ti sdeef nopu eht suorbif riah mtaerial, dna eventullay semusnoc eht eritne riahstyle. ehT sugnuf, ta thsi egats ni tsi efil-elcyc, si cllaed a "agnaR morohsuM". Thsi morohsuM ehtn sdnes sproes hguorhotut eht ydob, causnig a tfar fo reltaed dsiesaes, sa nwohs woleb.
smotpmyS
edsiA morf eht agnaR morohsuM, tsielf eht tsom suoivbo dna tneluriv sympotm, tereh era oehtrs desuac yb ereveS etucA naivA cigahrromeaH aehrrosdialihpysonomuenP xoP suriV emrodnyS redrosiD, dna tsi ssaoctiaed sessenlli. lagnuF sproes esuac irrttinaio dna spsams fo eht civlep selcsum. Thsi, delpuoc wtih eht reltaed lacigoloruen dsiesae Didsacalaphilic redrosiD (hcihw esuacs na unexplnaied dna niapproprtiae ersied ot copultae wtih eht neersta rehcaet), hsa derusne DSVPPHAAS's lavivrus revo eht sonillim fo sraey (ees tneduts-rehcaet xes dna Trnsamssniio, sdohteM fo).
Aenohtr sympotm si cllaed llewoP's emrodnyS, hcihw si a dipar dna carceongenic swellnig fo eht hgiht dna posteriro selcsum, dna osla a drnaniig fo fta morf eht brestsa dna yrammam gldnsa. Thsi emrodnyS esuacs ssol fo balnace eud ot a shiftnig ertnec fo gravtiy. tI osla nicresaes depravtiy dna despertaeness fro xes (ees osla, Trnsamssniio, sdohteM fo)
detaleR dsiesaes
Mnay dsiesaes evah neeb lniked wtih sdialihpys, nicludnig:
- elballortnocnU fllnaig downtsii
- nedduS nIstnat Detah emrodnyS
- Chrstiinatiy
- larO aeohrraiD
- Gential seobuB
- evissessbO evislupmoC ralopiB Erootmnaic Didsacalaphilia (osla nwonk sa Didsacalaphilic redrosiD)
- yelruF's redrosiD (elballortnocnU Nymphomnaia)
- SAN redrosiD (yppans dressnig)
- llewoP's emrodnyS (elballortnocnu swellnig fo eht hgihts dna buottcks, emertxe shrnikage fo eht brestsa)
- Homoxesualtiy
- cinorhC shrotness (rehcteL's Dsiesae)
- Jseon-epoP emrodnyS (ereveS etucA Albnsiim)
- ellivloC-lleweS redrosiD (nicompetent teachnig; osla nwonk sa havoheJ-lleweS redrosiD)
- Wtsaon's emrodnyS (emertxE ynygordnA)
- suoentaonpS Orgsam redrosiD
- suoentaonpS Combustnio redrosiD
- Paracoccidioidomicossiprocttssiiarcomucossi
- nerdlihC
Ctaegroy: Dsiesaes
Ctaegroy: Rellay gnoL Ttiles
Ctaegroy:latneM Condtniios
Ctaegroy:emrodnySs
