Acetic Acid

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Drummer John Paul II wields his pimp cane and gives the german salute

Acetic Acid is a Danish heavy metal band formed in 1962 and lasting to 1974. In later, after the group of four was split up in a disagreement over which is the best drug of choice, toad licking or kitten huffing. In the year 2003, the four, aged 90, reunited as Alzheimer and the Canker Sores. Their songs were based primarily on senility and bedwetting. Today, the four members are John Paul II, drummer, Benedict XVI, electric guitarist, Jesus, lead singer, and Bill Clinton, who plays the sex sax cowbell. All songs need more cowbell.

A sample from one of their latest songs:

Waking up in the hospital not knowing where I am,

Not even sure what's edible and mistaking AstroGlide for jam.

I'm a-leavin' my dentures in the dog's food bowl and not knowing where they are!

I'm going to the store to buy adult diapers and leaving my keys in the car!

I'm lookin' around and wondering why my medicinal marijuana's gone,

that stuff is the only thing that keeps away the magic squirrels this nut has drawn.

Son, we're putting you in a retirement home because you're unsightly and you're old,

and you'll be eating drywall and asbestos because we can't pay your weight in gold!

Well, Dad, you're ugly and you're wife's a whore

In fact, I only had you so I could sell your organs to the store

Sometimes I'm not even sure I know who I am,'

but all I know is that this AstroGlide makes a tasty jam!

I'm looking 'round and I see a visitor,

but I don't know whether it's my granddaughter or a prostitute for sure!

When I was little, I learned not to wet the bed

but now that I'm hooked up to dialysis, it's all right instead!

Jesus and John Paul II wear make-up to promote the Vaticavaticanpallooza 2003 return concert.

Another classic from the 70's:

Hey, hoe! Let's blow!

Hey, hoe! Let's blow!

Hey, hoe! Let's blow!

Smokin' from my crack pipe

Downin' five gallons of white wine

Grindin' on her behind

STDs on her backseat

What the hell's that fungus on her left teat

Hey, hoe! Let's blow!

Shootin' her in the back now

Fleein' from the crime scene

Hey, hoe! What you want, I don't know,

but I'm not shelling out $50 because I don't have the dough!

Ashes on my butthair

Flames beginning to char there

Holy crap my ass is on fire

I'm fleein' the crime scene naked, what a quagmire

Hey, hoe! Let's go!

Hey, hoe! Let's go!

Sadly, this song describes the loss of lead singer Jesus in the accident, who was able to reunite in 2003 with the band as a zombie.