Ace Attorney

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{{Q|OBJECTION! This game makes no fucking sense!|Typical attorney|Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney}}
 
 
 
{{Infobox CVG
 
{{Infobox CVG
 
|title = Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney
 
|title = Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney
Line 8: Line 6:
 
|publisher = Nintendo
 
|publisher = Nintendo
 
|released = 2005
 
|released = 2005
|genre = Text Adventure with Pictures+b00bs
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|genre = Japanese Text Adventure
 
|rating = T
 
|rating = T
 
|platform = Nintendo DS
 
|platform = Nintendo DS
|port = Where they insert Dicks
+
|port = Courtroom No.3
|O-Wilde = Only if there's free steak involved.
+
|O-Wilde = ''[[Godfather|An objection he/she/it can't refuse.]]''
 
}}
 
}}
  +
'''''Ace Attorney''''' (in [[Japan]]: ''Gyakuten Saiban'' (逆転裁判), is a series of [[adventure]]/[[pron|visual novel]] games created by Shu Takumi, published by Capcom and Nintendo, in which players assume the role of a sharp-haired, sharply dressed lawyer who does a lot of [[The Point|pointing]] and [[AAAAAAAAA!|yelling]] and tends to defend oblivious clients whose behavior is indefensible. Fortunately for him and the player, Justice is blind as always, and more spesifically in [[Japanese]] [[Los Angeles, California]].
   
'''''Ace Attorney''''', known in [[Japan]] as '''''Gyakuten Saiban''''' (逆転裁判, lit. [[Kangaroo court|"Turnabout Trial"]]), is a series of [[adventure]]/[[pron|visual novel]] games created by Shu Takumi{{cn2}} and published by [[Crapcom]] in which players assume the role of a a Prosecuting attorney, but not just any prosecuting attorney. You're a prosecutor hired by the defendant. Your goal is to find some other schmuck to take the blame, and prosecute him, because it's impossible to prove your client's innocence without convicting someone else. If you fail to prosecute someone other than your client, your client is found guilty, because of course, only your client is considered guilty until proven innocent. This is how the [[I Can't Believe It's Not Torture|Japanese legal system]] works in real life.
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==Phoenix Wright: The "Ace" Attorney==
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Phoenix Wright, or better known as "Correct at the Latest Possible Circumstance" (loosely translated with help from the from the [[Otaku]] Archives), is your player character through out the series. His real name is Nick for some reason, probably just to make the game further appear as if it's taking place in America. <s>Nicky boy</s> Phoenix Wright Throughout the series he's a somewhat modest man with real, actual qualities you may find in a lawyer in real life, except he actually feels emotion.
==Phoenix Wright==
 
 
=== Case 1: My First Turnabout ===
 
The first level is quite easy. Your best friend kills his girlfriend by giving her a cursed clock. Luckily the clock possessed a burglar who happened to be in the area, and your goal is to pin it on him. You do this by mercilessly asking him the same questions over and over again until he mispronounces one of the words he is attempting to say and throws his toupee at your face. Then you throw down random shit that has nothing to do with anything and the judge is so confused he immediately sentences the innocent man accusing your friend to death.
 
 
=== Case 2: Turnabout Lesbians ===
 
You kill your boss because she refuses to make you a sandwich (woman learn your place), and then defend her sister who is accused of the crime. You start off by collecting clues and whatnot like an illegal wiretap, blood written messages, the cursed clock from Case 1, and drugs from the suspicious man across the street. It looks bad, with you not being able to pin it on anyone except the obviously guilty sister. You then go about confusing the judge's sense of direction until the judge's sense of direction are worse than the time you got drunk with a bunch of hookers and prostitutes. You then decide to confront Mr. America, but he easily punches you out of window of his billion dollar office. However, you manage to survive the 1,000,000,000,000 foot fall by screaming out 'OBJECTION!' at the last second. The next day, you don't know what to do, so some dead bitch gives you a random piece of paper, allowing you to win the case and frame it on Mr. America just because he punched you out of his office.
 
 
=== Case 3: Turnabout Bar Thug ===
 
 
[[Image:phoenixwolverine.gif|thumbnail|300px|Wolverine needs a fall guy]]
 
Some actor is killed and you're hired by [[Wolverine]] to convict someone else of it. Thankfully, you discover that the victim was a drug addict and blame the rap music, successfully pinning it on Amy Winehouse.
 
 
=== Case 4: Tunabout Prosecutor ===
 
[[Image:AtmNo.jpg|thumbnail|300px|An example of the best and brightest prosecuting attorney in the game]]
 
 
A prosecutor is being prosecuted by another prosecutor for killing a defense attorney. You have to defend the prosecuted prosecutor by taking references from the [[Lochness]] monster hoax, asking for tree fiddy, information about a hobo and a parrot, and finally pinning the blame on the prosecuting prosecutor by taking advantage of the bullet in his shoulder he got from 'Nam.
 
 
=== Case 5: [[Redundancy|Turnabout Turnabout]]===
 
A hooker, a cowboy, and an annoying bitch that won't shut up about staring at small objects for copious amounts of time. In this case you defend a murderer by making up so much confusing shit the judge forgets what's going on and pins it on the nearest ethnic stereotype.
 
 
== Phoenix Wright Crap for All ==
 
[[Image:PheonixFifth.jpg|thumbnail|300px|Pleading the 5th is held against you]]
 
 
The second game in the series, Justice for all is basically the same, except that now, not only can you shove "evidence" at people, you can also shove people at them. And if they know anything, they will tell you. Or make you play a minigame.
 
 
=== Case 1: Turnabout Crack Smoker ===
 
First, you have a dream of Thor smashing you with his hammer. Then, stumbling out of bed to get a can of Red Bull, you slip on a large pool of blood (which isn't evidence) and get amnesia from slamming your brain into your skull. Phoenix wakes up to find a crazy woman dressed as a police officer. This person in actuality is your guilty client, she gives you a hard time for having amnesia. Then you go in to court, having no memory of being a lawyer, which is probably a good thing. The prosecutor is still as manly as ever, so he calls a gay British rich guy who loves LARGE bananas. Your memory kicks back in of yelling, a lot. So you own the rich guy by pinning it on him, the only proof you have is that he's gay. But that's enough to win.
 
 
=== Case 2: Turnabout Doctor ===
 
Maya kills some doctor because he tried to shut down Burger King, though luckily some dumb nurse didn't know the doctor so she becomes your target. You soon find out that Maya's aunt (the heir to MacDonald's) helped the dumb-ass nurse in the murder to the new master of necromancy (or spirit channeling, as they claim). The prosecutor is probably the most manly one in the whole series. Yet she is also incapable of speaking unless whipping is involved. You end up pinning the crime on the stupid nurse because she stops in midsentence with her alibi.
 
 
=== Case 3: Turnabout Poofter ===
 
Maya tells Phoenix to lose his homophobia, so he gets a gay client. This case seems hopeless since the only people you can pin it on are a carrot obsessed clown (literally, this guy is covered in carrots, thank god his outfit is legal), a possessed, abusive puppet owned by Pee-Wee Herman, and Dick Gumshoe. Knowing you'll go to hell if you pin it on one of them, You decide to pin it on some poor guy in a wheelchair!
 
 
=== Case 4: Turnabout Names Are A Drag ===
 
You get yet another guilty client, the french Johnny Bravo who killed the victim with the help of Shelly De killer, who is actually a woman. You try to find someone to pin it own, but with no luck, until you find a woman in tight clothing who is conveniently convenient: Adrian Andrews. Let's just say Phoenix didn't get over his nervousness to spandex. So you pin it on Adrian, but egads! The whip lady gets shot by an unknown gunman (where was Maya all this time...). So Edgewoth takes the prosecutions job. Later when you visit Johnny Bravo You find out that he is innocent. Angered, you give him three scars and get him drunk. Later, when you get used to him being innocent, you find out he is guilty. So you own him by telling Shelly De Killer that Johnny only liked her when he thought she was a man. Johnny owns his own face, and then Shelly owns him later. You win again. And so do not go to hell. Maya gives you a happy ending for saving her ass.
 
 
==Phoenix Wright Trials And Other Crap==
 
 
=== Case 1: Turnabout Hell No ===
 
This is a flashback case. Some bimbo is defending you in court because you killed your best friend for breaking your [[iPod]].
 
The stupid hooker defending you pins it on your ex-girlfriend, and you become emo and cut yourself.
 
 
=== Case 2: Turnabout Cookies ===
 
Adrian's cookie jar gets stolen (remember her from Case 4 Game 2?) and you have to find it. Then you figure out a fat guy nobody cares about gets killed. A transvestite gets blamed for both. You pin the murder on Pinocchio, but [[Nobody cares|don't care]] about the cookie jar. Adrian bashes you up.
 
 
=== Case 3: Turnabout Impostor ===
 
A French Resturant poisons someone and the waitress is blamed. You pin it on a wannabe of yourself.
 
 
=== Case 4: Turnabout Bitch ===
 
Another flashback case and the hooker is back. She's up against a poofter, so this won't be so easy. It's about your ex-girlfriend nearly killing herself and blaming it on her boyfriend. It ends up with the poor guy killing himself.
 
 
=== Case 5: The Final Turnabout ===
 
A fortune-teller gets killed and a lovely, innocent girl is blamed. Your ex-girlfriend becomes a zombie and raises from the dead. Your current girlfriend is responsible for that. You end up pinning it on Darth Vader.
 
 
=== Game 4 Case 4 Part 2: Turnabout Pwnage ===
 
Harry Houdini is killed, and it has to be either Chuck Norris or Oscar Wilde that did it. You end up accidentally presenting your sister's diary, and lose your attorney's badge.
 
 
==Apollo Justice==
 
This is the sequel to the trilogy. A guy cosplaying as a bunny is the main defense attorney now.
 
   
===Case 1: Turnabout Illegal Gaming===
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Phoenix is not really a good lawyer, [[You|because you aren't a good lawyer]]. However this is okay, because when you fuck up every single case and innocent people are convicted, they rehold the case anyway so you can get a little further before fucking up again. However, it's not that hard, because Capcom knows you aren't a good lawyer, so they decide to throw out every single concept that makes for a fair and unbiased court system, and replace it with a bunch of shiny digital art, that makes it easier for the [[Dumb|feeble-minded individual]].
You hire Oscar Wilde to kill Chuck Norris because he beat you in cards, and get Apollo to say Oscar did it for his sake.
 
   
===Case 2: Turnabout Mafia===
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==Gameplay==
Some wigger kills some dude for being a preacher (and a doctor). You also steal some magic girl's panties, but you pin that on the smartest man alive.
+
Perhaps the most crucial aspect of any text based adevnture is how you can manipulate the story. As a lawyer wishing to prove the innocence of their client because you get paid the [[Big Bucks theory|big bucks]] to do so. However, you don't get to do anything. Phoenix is actually smart enough to know you're not a lawyer, so therefore he does the talking for the most part. You just gotta do the hard part for him, and that's interrogating the witnesses and proving your client innocent. In this case you aren't being paid anything, you're just expected to buy the next game for more of your favorite lawyer, however, don't worry Phoenix isn't paid either, in fact [[Slavery|I don't think he's ever been paid]]. ([[Socialism|How does he even pay the bills]], [[Illuminati|I assume some of his friends front the money]],[[Cartel|like some kind of high-end cartel]]?)
   
...
+
===Testimony===
  +
Several witnesses can be found throughout the series, as if America already didn't have enough freaks, the courtroom witnesses in the Ace Attorney Universe is full of them. However, despite how rudamentary these witnesses are, they contribute to the story is <s>more case plotholes</s> their own statement of the incident and slight comical relief.
   
Oh...Right! The murder. You pin it on some Short midget.
+
Witness Testimonies are essentially what they believe to be the culprit, what they know about other people involved in, or affiliated with the crime, or to accentuate how awful their backstory is. Regardless each witness is a key to actually being able to prove your oblivious client innocent. You don't act right away, you just get to look at that dialogue and think to yourself (you could be thinking, "Well gosh diddly darn, why did I spend $15 on a game where I'm looking at text all the time?", but that's rude, so don't think that.)
   
===Case3: Turnabout Murder...thing===
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As they finally stop talking bullshit, it's time for you to crack down on them.
Some emo kid kills a 7'5 foot man. He pretends he is blind, and can not speak English. His girlfriend (Who is your MOM) does the same. Later, you pin it on Micheal Jackson.
 
   
===Case 4: Turnabout Fakes===
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===Cross-Examination===
Leonardo da Vinci is murdered, you look at his paintings to see he somehow knew about your cases. In court, you defend his daughter and try to prove Mr. Mint guilty, but the victim's daughter faints from the poison that murdered Leonardo. See Turnabout Pwnage for what happens next. Next, you use a time machine and cause time paradoxes to steal evidence from Oscar Wilde. In court, you say Oscar was the killer and see the devil is on his hand, you make up so much bullshit he goes Super Saiyan and before the judge can prove Vinci's daughter innocent, the jury stops him and they all say innocent, this brings Leonardo's daughter back to life and she decides to stalk you while you don't know you're getting into the pants of your sister.......
+
It's time to call their bluff, each of these witnesses has a glaring contradiction (as quoted from the Ace Attorney himself, every fucking time he's about to cross-examine a witness) and you gotta find it (of course). Scrolling through each of the separate bubbles of the witnesses testimony doing either of the following:
   
==Phoenix Wright Meets a Guy in a Top Hat==
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====Pressing====
[[Image:Phoenix Wright.jpg|thumb|left|Object my ass!]]
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At the '''Press''' of the Press button you can pressure your already pressured witness to press them for more information, straight from the press. If you aren't satisfied with your pressing, the pressure is then pressed on your to present based on what you've pressed. Got it...? Uh...No...?
   
In October 2010, Capcom announced a crossover of Phoenix Wright and [[Professor Layton]], a game where everyone randomly gives you shitty complicated puzzles about numbers and ropes and shit. The game involves Phoenix and Layton trying to save a [[witch]] from the [[KKK]], all while an old man writes events in a book that makes them all happen.
+
If you press them you get to hear a little more about their statement. Sometimes they leave something out, so they include it into their statement. Simply put, [[O.J. Simpson|they're lying to you]].
   
  +
====Presenting====
  +
Like during preschool, except someone is dead and your teacher is [[Hobo|some grumpy old dude with a black robe]], you have to present what you know to the <s>class</s> court. In this case, you're presenting a piece of obtained evidence, something usually found during the previous investigation, leading to the court case. However, you gotta really make sure you know what you're doing, or else the Judge just ain't havin' that shit. Yes, if you present something that makes absolutely no sense to the court, the Judge is going to give you a penalty, fortunately it isn't a [[Soccer|Yellow Card]] and nobody gets a [[Hockey|Power Play]] opportunity.
   
== Wright's +1 Blue Suit of Phuckin Death ==
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===The Prosecution===
  +
Phoenix Wright isn't trying to defend his client from only jail, he's also defending them from the unrelenting grip of the Prosecution. Also having great hair and stylish appearances, and equally filled with the desire to point and yell, the Prosecution is a [[League of Incredible Men|league of badass motherfuckers]] who are trying to enforce the law on people because that's what they get paid average bucks to do.
   
This suit, rumored to have belonged to the great Bill Gates himself, grants the user the power to make up such copious amounts of random shit that he confuses all in the area to believe what hes saying is right. Its powers have condemned many innocent to death, and aided countless criminals in their pursuit of avoiding jail time and killing babies. Remember kids, when you're in trouble, always pin it on the one person that everyone hates!
+
Ironically, in the real world, prosecutors are lawyers that people actually like. However, Capcom wants you to think otherwise, making prosecutors look cold, heartless, and downright deceptive. Whether it be falsifying evidence, or violent bursts of [[rage]], Prosecutors are simply the worst kind of people because they are told to uphold justice, and that's bad.
   
==Objection!!!==
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There is not one prosecutor who is constant throughout the Ace Attorney series, they're constantly changing from title to title. Do not be fooled, they are smart and they will stop you from proving your client innocent.
The most heavy weapon stuck in your arse-nal, if you perform this correctly by yelling as loud as you can and wiggling your middle finger at the opposing party, you release the mental equivalent of a black hole. Everyone's beliefs and personalities become instantly shattered and are completely at your beck and call, no matter how much unbelievably random and irrelevant shit you bring up. This was used to win the first World War and George Dubya used this to win Florida.
 
   
{{UnMedia}}
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{{stub}}
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[[Category:Japanese culture]]
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[[Category:Video games]]

Latest revision as of 19:58, February 5, 2016

Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney
PhoenixWrightGame
"I object to this game case!"
Developer(s) Capcom
Publisher(s) Nintendo
Release date 2005
Genre Japanese Text Adventure
Platform(s) Nintendo DS
Port Courtroom No.3
Rating T
Would Benito Mussolini play it? An objection he/she/it can't refuse.

Ace Attorney (in Japan: Gyakuten Saiban (逆転裁判), is a series of adventure/visual novel games created by Shu Takumi, published by Capcom and Nintendo, in which players assume the role of a sharp-haired, sharply dressed lawyer who does a lot of pointing and yelling and tends to defend oblivious clients whose behavior is indefensible. Fortunately for him and the player, Justice is blind as always, and more spesifically in Japanese Los Angeles, California.

edit Phoenix Wright: The "Ace" Attorney

Phoenix Wright, or better known as "Correct at the Latest Possible Circumstance" (loosely translated with help from the from the Otaku Archives), is your player character through out the series. His real name is Nick for some reason, probably just to make the game further appear as if it's taking place in America. Nicky boy Phoenix Wright Throughout the series he's a somewhat modest man with real, actual qualities you may find in a lawyer in real life, except he actually feels emotion.

Phoenix is not really a good lawyer, because you aren't a good lawyer. However this is okay, because when you fuck up every single case and innocent people are convicted, they rehold the case anyway so you can get a little further before fucking up again. However, it's not that hard, because Capcom knows you aren't a good lawyer, so they decide to throw out every single concept that makes for a fair and unbiased court system, and replace it with a bunch of shiny digital art, that makes it easier for the feeble-minded individual.

edit Gameplay

Perhaps the most crucial aspect of any text based adevnture is how you can manipulate the story. As a lawyer wishing to prove the innocence of their client because you get paid the big bucks to do so. However, you don't get to do anything. Phoenix is actually smart enough to know you're not a lawyer, so therefore he does the talking for the most part. You just gotta do the hard part for him, and that's interrogating the witnesses and proving your client innocent. In this case you aren't being paid anything, you're just expected to buy the next game for more of your favorite lawyer, however, don't worry Phoenix isn't paid either, in fact I don't think he's ever been paid. (How does he even pay the bills, I assume some of his friends front the money,like some kind of high-end cartel?)

edit Testimony

Several witnesses can be found throughout the series, as if America already didn't have enough freaks, the courtroom witnesses in the Ace Attorney Universe is full of them. However, despite how rudamentary these witnesses are, they contribute to the story is more case plotholes their own statement of the incident and slight comical relief.

Witness Testimonies are essentially what they believe to be the culprit, what they know about other people involved in, or affiliated with the crime, or to accentuate how awful their backstory is. Regardless each witness is a key to actually being able to prove your oblivious client innocent. You don't act right away, you just get to look at that dialogue and think to yourself (you could be thinking, "Well gosh diddly darn, why did I spend $15 on a game where I'm looking at text all the time?", but that's rude, so don't think that.)

As they finally stop talking bullshit, it's time for you to crack down on them.

edit Cross-Examination

It's time to call their bluff, each of these witnesses has a glaring contradiction (as quoted from the Ace Attorney himself, every fucking time he's about to cross-examine a witness) and you gotta find it (of course). Scrolling through each of the separate bubbles of the witnesses testimony doing either of the following:

edit Pressing

At the Press of the Press button you can pressure your already pressured witness to press them for more information, straight from the press. If you aren't satisfied with your pressing, the pressure is then pressed on your to present based on what you've pressed. Got it...? Uh...No...?

If you press them you get to hear a little more about their statement. Sometimes they leave something out, so they include it into their statement. Simply put, they're lying to you.

edit Presenting

Like during preschool, except someone is dead and your teacher is some grumpy old dude with a black robe, you have to present what you know to the class court. In this case, you're presenting a piece of obtained evidence, something usually found during the previous investigation, leading to the court case. However, you gotta really make sure you know what you're doing, or else the Judge just ain't havin' that shit. Yes, if you present something that makes absolutely no sense to the court, the Judge is going to give you a penalty, fortunately it isn't a Yellow Card and nobody gets a Power Play opportunity.

edit The Prosecution

Phoenix Wright isn't trying to defend his client from only jail, he's also defending them from the unrelenting grip of the Prosecution. Also having great hair and stylish appearances, and equally filled with the desire to point and yell, the Prosecution is a league of badass motherfuckers who are trying to enforce the law on people because that's what they get paid average bucks to do.

Ironically, in the real world, prosecutors are lawyers that people actually like. However, Capcom wants you to think otherwise, making prosecutors look cold, heartless, and downright deceptive. Whether it be falsifying evidence, or violent bursts of rage, Prosecutors are simply the worst kind of people because they are told to uphold justice, and that's bad.

There is not one prosecutor who is constant throughout the Ace Attorney series, they're constantly changing from title to title. Do not be fooled, they are smart and they will stop you from proving your client innocent.

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