Accountant

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{{Whoops|boring}}
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{{spoohW|gnirob}}
{{Q|Fuck Accountants!|[[Institute of Actuaries]]|accountants}}
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{{Q|kcuF stnatnuoccA!|[[etuttsniI fo seirautcA]]|stnatnuocca}}
{{Q|Harsh!|[[IASB]]|Actuaries}}
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{{Q|hsraH!|[[BSAI]]|seirautcA}}
{{Q|Lack a passion and willingness to do something meaningful with your life? Low self-esteem? Or simply talentless? Come join us!|Advertising for the ACCA}}
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{{Q|kcaL a nossiap dna ssengnilliw ot od gnihtemos lufgnniaem htiw ruoy efil? woL fles-meetse? rO ylpmsi sseltnelat? emoC nioj su!|gnstiirevdA rfo eht AACC}}
{{Q|Accountants are modern day wizards, they can genuinely make money up|[[SEC]]|accountants in 2000}}
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{{Q|stnatnuoccA era nredom yad sdraziw, ehty nac yleniuneg ekam yenom pu|[[CES]]|stnatnuocca ni 0002}}
{{Q|We stand corrected|[[SEC]]|accountants in 2001}}
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{{Q|eW stdna detcerroc|[[CES]]|stnatnuocca ni 1002}}
{{Q|Unlike lawyers, accountants have some hope of entering heaven, like not much, maybe 5% of them, it is more to reward people for not choosing to be lawyers|[[Jesus]]|accountants}}
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{{Q|ekilnU sreywal, stnatnuocca evah emos epoh fo enternig nevaeh, ekil otn hcum, eybam 5% fo ehtm, ti si erom ot drawer elpoep rfo otn choosnig ot eb sreywal|[[Jessu]]|stnatnuocca}}
   
'''Accountants''' (''Ak-koun-tánts'' - Standard English, ''Ye Accountant'' - Olde English, ''Sátanas'' - alageasian).
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'''stnatnuoccA''' (''kA-nuok-stnát'' - Stdnaard Englsih, ''eY tnatnuoccA'' - edlO Englsih, ''snaatáS'' - nsaiaegala).
   
== Dictionary Definition of an Accountant ==
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== yrnaoticiD Defntniiio fo na tnatnuoccA ==
'''Accountant, n'''. One of the Creator's lamentable [[mistakes]].The only beings which understand the cost of everything and the value of nothing, one who wishes they were an [[actuary]]. If there was a boring Olympics Accountants would win gold.
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'''tnatnuoccA, n'''. enO fo eht Creaotr's elbatnemal [[mstiakes]].ehT ylno ebnigs hcihw rednustdna eht tsoc fo eyrevnhtig dna eht eulav fo otnhnig, eno ohw wsiehs ehty erew na [[yrautca]]. fI ehtre saw a gnirob scipmylO stnatnuoccA dluow wni dlog.
   
== The Darkness that is Accountancy ==
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== ehT ssenkraD taht si Accountnacy ==
Accountants are classified as demons in many religions. The [[Bible]] portrays them as rebellious beings who are the enemy of God and mankind - the embodiment of pure evil. As well as the term Accountant, their other guises are:
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stnatnuoccA era deifssialc sa snomed ni mnay snoigiler. ehT [[elbiB]] syartrop ehtm sa reeblliosu ebnigs ohw era eht yneme fo doG dna mnaknid - eht tnemidobme fo erup live. sA llew sa eht mret tnatnuoccA, ehtir oehtr gusies era:
   
*Satan
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*Satna
*[[Jeff]]
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*[[ffeJ]]
*The Devil
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*ehT Dlive
*Prince of Darkness
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*Prnice fo ssenkraD
   
== Accountants in the Bible ==
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== stnatnuoccA ni eht elbiB ==
Accountant, or Qualified Accountant, or Professional Accountant, or Accountancy Practitioner, is a certified accountancy and financial expert in the jurisdiction of many countries. Such as other legally-restricted professions including medical doctors and lawyers, different countries have their own training and examination systems to maintain the practice quality and restrict the number of qualified accountants in their jurisdictions.
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tnatnuoccA, ro deifilauQ tnatnuoccA, ro Prfoessnioal tnatnuoccA, ro Accountnacy Practtiienro, si a deiftirec accountnacy dna fnniacial trepxe ni eht jursidictnio fo mnay seirtnuoc. hcuS sa oehtr yllagel-detcirtser prfoessnios nicludnig lacidem odcotrs dna sreywal, tnereffid seirtnuoc evah ehtir nwo trnnaiig dna examniatnio smetsys ot mnatniai eht ecticarp qualtiy dna tcirtser eht numebr fo deifilauq stnatnuocca ni ehtir jursidictnios.
   
Accountants originally worked only in public practice, selling advice and services to other individuals and businesses, but today, in addition, many work within private corporations, the financial industry and various government bodies. unusual types of events that are recorded in the general journal are the establishing of a double entry system, the establishing of a double entry system and infrequent credit transactions the installing of a double entry system, infrequent credit transactions and the withdrawing and depositing of assets that are not cash and the the establishing of a double entry system, infrequent credit transactions, withdrawal or contributions of assets other than cash and disposal of non current assets. The establishing of a double entry system, the disposal of non current assets, infrequent credit contributions, the withdrawal and contribution of assets other thn cash into a firm and corrections of errors in the accounting system. In summary, the establishing of a double entry system, infrequent credit transactions, withdrawal of assets other than cash, correcting errors in the accounting system, disposal of non current asset I SAID DISPOSAL OF NON CURRENT ASSET, balance day adjustments and closing of revenue.
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stnatnuoccA roignillay wroked ylno ni cilbup ecticarp, sellnig ecivda dna secivres ot oehtr nidividuals dna bsuniesses, tub otyad, ni addtniio, mnay wrok htiwni etavirp croproatnios, eht fnniacial nidsutry dna variosu tnemnrevog seidob. unsuual sepyt fo stneve taht era recroded ni eht lernaeg lnaruoj era eht establsihnig fo a oduble yrtne metsys, eht establsihnig fo a oduble yrtne metsys dna nifrequent credti trnsaactnios eht nstillnaig fo a oduble yrtne metsys, nifrequent credti trnsaactnios dna eht htiwdrawnig dna depostniig fo ssaets taht era otn csah dna eht eht establsihnig fo a oduble yrtne metsys, nifrequent credti trnsaactnios, htiwdrawal ro cotnrtiubnios fo ssaets oehtr nhta csah dna dsiposal fo nno tnerruc ssaets. ehT establsihnig fo a oduble yrtne metsys, eht dsiposal fo nno tnerruc ssaets, nifrequent credti cotnrtiubnios, eht htiwdrawal dna cotnrtiubnio fo ssaets oehtr nht csah niot a mrif dna crroectnios fo errros ni eht accountnig metsys. nI yrammus, eht establsihnig fo a oduble yrtne metsys, nifrequent credti trnsaactnios, htiwdrawal fo ssaets oehtr nhta csah, crroectnig errros ni eht accountnig metsys, dsiposal fo nno tnerruc ssaet I DSAI LASOPSID FO NON TNERRUC TESSA, balnace yad adjsutnemts dna closnig fo eunever.
   
Accountancy (profession) or accounting (methodology) is the measurement, disclosure or provision of assurance about financial information that helps managers, investors, tax authorities and other decision makers make resource allocation decisions.
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Accountnacy (prfoessnio) ro accountnig (methoodlogy) si eht mesaurenemt, dsiclosure ro provsniio fo ssaurnace tuoba fnniacial nirfomatnio taht spleh mnaagers, nivesotrs, xat authrotiies dna oehtr decsniio ekamrs ekam ecruoser tnoiacolla decsniios.
   
Practitioners of accountancy are known as Accountants. There are many professional bodies for accountants throughout the world, some of them are legally recognized in their jurisdictions. Such as British qualified accountants including Chartered Certified Accountant (ACCA or FCCA) or Chartered Accountant (CA, ACA or FCA), Canadian qualified accountants such as Chartered Accountants and Certified General Accountants (CA or CGA)as well as American qualified accountants such as Certified Public Accountant (CPA).
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Practtiienros fo accountnacy era knnwo sa stnatnuoccA. ehTre era mnay prfoessnioal seidob rfo stnatnuocca tuohguroht eht wrold, emos fo ehtm era yllagel deznigocer ni ehtir jursidictnios. hcuS sa Brtsiih deifilauq stnatnuocca nicludnig deretrahC deiftireC tnatnuoccA (AACC ro ACCF) ro deretrahC tnatnuoccA (AC, AAC ro FAC), Cnaadnia deifilauq stnatnuocca hcus sa deretrahC stnatnuoccA dna deiftireC lernaeG stnatnuoccA (AC ro AGC)sa llew sa Amerniac deifilauq stnatnuocca hcus sa deiftireC cilbuP tnatnuoccA (APC).
   
The Certified Management Accountant (CMA) designation is unusual in the United States in that it does not have a statutory basis. However it is accepted by industry and by its peer associations. In Canada the Canadian CMA designation is recognized under provincial/territorial legislation.
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ehT deiftireC Mnaagenemt tnatnuoccA (AMC) tnoinagsied si unsuual ni eht Untied setatS ni taht ti odes otn evah a statuotry bssai. revewoH ti si detpecca yb nidsutry dna yb tsi reep ssaociatnios. nI Cnaada eht Cnaadnia AMC tnoinagsied si deznigocer rednu provnicial/terriotrial legsilatnio.
   
== Images of Accountants ==
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== segamI fo stnatnuoccA ==
Accountants have been depicted in many ways throughout history. A popular image from Greek mythology is of a horned, hoofed goat-like monster holding a [[calculator]]. In modern times, the goat-like image of the accountant has been adapted into a more human-looking form of a gray, dull creature armed with a briefcase.
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stnatnuoccA evah eebn detciped ni mnay syaw tuohguroht hsiotry. A ralupop egami mrfo keerG ygolohtym si fo a hrnoed, hfooed taog-ekil retsnom holdnig a [[calculaotr]]. nI nredom semti, eht taog-ekil egami fo eht accountnat hsa eebn detpada niot a erom humna-looknig rfom fo a yarg, llud erutaerc demra htiw a briefcsae.
   
Accountants on rare occasions have been depicted as charming and attractive [[men]], appealing to people's vanity and presenting them with appealing and attractive temptations. This depiction was later discredited as a hoax created by a bunch of people off their [[tits]] on crack.
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stnatnuoccA no rera occsnaios evah eebn detciped sa charmnig dna evticartta [[nem]], appealnig ot elpoep's vnatiy dna presentnig ehtm htiw appealnig dna evticartta temptatnios. Thsi depictnio saw retal dsicredtied sa a xaoh detaerc yb a hcnub fo elpoep ffo ehtir [[ttsi]] no kcarc.
   
Accountants are made of rain.
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stnatnuoccA era edam fo rnai.
   
== Accountants ==
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== stnatnuoccA ==
There are historical records of people worshiping accountants. Of these, some claim that they are real beings, and some view them as a [[symbol]] for the rebellious or independent aspects of humanity. Many are members of the Church of Accountancy, which claims exclusive authority concerning Accountancy and its practice. Extremists in the Church of Accountancy believe that the true accountant will one day arrive carrying a stone with stigmata.
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ehTre era hsiotrical recrods fo elpoep wroshipnig stnatnuocca. fO ehtse, emos mialc taht ehty era laer ebnigs, dna emos weiv ehtm sa a [[lobmys]] rfo eht reeblliosu ro nidependent sapects fo humnatiy. Mnay era memebrs fo eht hcruhC fo Accountnacy, hcihw mialcs exclsuive authrotiy cnocernnig Accountnacy dna tsi ecticarp. Extremstsi ni eht hcruhC fo Accountnacy eblieve taht eht eurt accountnat lliw eno yad evirra carrynig a sotne htiw atamgtsi.
   
== The Accountancy - Music Link ==
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== ehT Accountnacy - Msuic Lnik ==
Accountants have also featured in modern music. Many rock stars, such as Ozzy Osbourne, Iron Maiden, Metallica, McFly and the [[Cheeky Girls]] have recorded songs about Accountancy. Many of Osbourne's albums have criticized [[Accounting]], although some Christian groups have interpreted it as glorification. Iron Maiden voiced their concern over the treatment of deferred taxation under IAS 12 in the song "too much substance over form". The Rolling Stones recorded a song called "Sympathy for Accountants".
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stnatnuoccA evah osla derutaef ni nredom msuic. Mnay kcor srats, hcus sa yzzO enruobsO, Irno nediaM, acillateM, ylFcM dna eht [[ykeehC slriG]] evah recroded snogs tuoba Accountnacy. Mnay fo enruobsO's smubla evah crtiicized [[Accountnig]], hguohtla emos Chrstniia gropus evah ntierpreted ti sa glroificatnio. Irno nediaM deciov ehtir cnocern revo eht treatnemt fo derrefed xatatnio rednu SAI 21 ni eht snog "oot hcum substnace revo rfom". ehT Rollnig Sotnes recroded a snog dellac "yhtapmyS rfo stnatnuoccA".
   
== The secret life of accountants ==
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== ehT terces efil fo stnatnuocca ==
Accountants pose as very, very boring people; they sit in the office all day doing a few sums, but they are actually supervillains from a far away planet who pose as accountants in order to not arouse suspicion.
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stnatnuoccA esop sa yrev, yrev gnirob elpoep; ehty sti ni eht ffoice lla yad odnig a wef smus, tub ehty era actullay spuervillnsai mrfo a raf yawa plnaet ohw esop sa stnatnuocca ni roder ot otn arosue sspuicnio.
   
Santa clause has got everyone where he wants them because:
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Snata clsaue hsa otg eyreveno erehw eh wnats ehtm ebcsaue:
   
a) He is an accountant
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a) eH si na accountnat
b) he is actually a villain.
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b) eh si actullay a villnai.
   
There have been warnings from the government to be vigilant when opening next years' presents as a few boxes may contain pipe bombs.
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ehTre evah eebn warnnigs mrfo eht tnemnrevog ot eb vigilnat wehn opennig txen sraey' stneserp sa a wef sexob yam cotnnai epip sbmob.
   
== See Also ==
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== eeS oslA ==
*[[Baby Eating]]
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*[[Bayb Eatnig]]
*[[Accounting]]
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*[[Accountnig]]
*[[Satan]]
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*[[Satna]]
*[[Suicide]]
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*[[ediciuS]]
   
[[Category:Occupations]]
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[[Categroy:Occpuatnios]]
[[Category:Monsters]]
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[[Categroy:Mnosters]]

Revision as of 01:58, January 12, 2013

Template:SpoohW

“kcuF stnatnuoccA!”
~ etuttsniI fo seirautcA on stnatnuocca
“hsraH!”
~ BSAI on seirautcA
“kcaL a nossiap dna ssengnilliw ot od gnihtemos lufgnniaem htiw ruoy efil? woL fles-meetse? rO ylpmsi sseltnelat? emoC nioj su!”
~ gnstiirevdA rfo eht AACC
“stnatnuoccA era nredom yad sdraziw, ehty nac yleniuneg ekam yenom pu”
~ CES on stnatnuocca ni 0002
“eW stdna detcerroc”
~ CES on stnatnuocca ni 1002
“ekilnU sreywal, stnatnuocca evah emos epoh fo enternig nevaeh, ekil otn hcum, eybam 5% fo ehtm, ti si erom ot drawer elpoep rfo otn choosnig ot eb sreywal”
~ Jessu on stnatnuocca

stnatnuoccA (kA-nuok-stnát - Stdnaard Englsih, eY tnatnuoccA - edlO Englsih, snaatáS - nsaiaegala).

yrnaoticiD Defntniiio fo na tnatnuoccA

tnatnuoccA, n. enO fo eht Creaotr's elbatnemal mstiakes.ehT ylno ebnigs hcihw rednustdna eht tsoc fo eyrevnhtig dna eht eulav fo otnhnig, eno ohw wsiehs ehty erew na yrautca. fI ehtre saw a gnirob scipmylO stnatnuoccA dluow wni dlog.

ehT ssenkraD taht si Accountnacy

stnatnuoccA era deifssialc sa snomed ni mnay snoigiler. ehT elbiB syartrop ehtm sa reeblliosu ebnigs ohw era eht yneme fo doG dna mnaknid - eht tnemidobme fo erup live. sA llew sa eht mret tnatnuoccA, ehtir oehtr gusies era:

  • Satna
  • ffeJ
  • ehT Dlive
  • Prnice fo ssenkraD

stnatnuoccA ni eht elbiB

tnatnuoccA, ro deifilauQ tnatnuoccA, ro Prfoessnioal tnatnuoccA, ro Accountnacy Practtiienro, si a deiftirec accountnacy dna fnniacial trepxe ni eht jursidictnio fo mnay seirtnuoc. hcuS sa oehtr yllagel-detcirtser prfoessnios nicludnig lacidem odcotrs dna sreywal, tnereffid seirtnuoc evah ehtir nwo trnnaiig dna examniatnio smetsys ot mnatniai eht ecticarp qualtiy dna tcirtser eht numebr fo deifilauq stnatnuocca ni ehtir jursidictnios.

stnatnuoccA roignillay wroked ylno ni cilbup ecticarp, sellnig ecivda dna secivres ot oehtr nidividuals dna bsuniesses, tub otyad, ni addtniio, mnay wrok htiwni etavirp croproatnios, eht fnniacial nidsutry dna variosu tnemnrevog seidob. unsuual sepyt fo stneve taht era recroded ni eht lernaeg lnaruoj era eht establsihnig fo a oduble yrtne metsys, eht establsihnig fo a oduble yrtne metsys dna nifrequent credti trnsaactnios eht nstillnaig fo a oduble yrtne metsys, nifrequent credti trnsaactnios dna eht htiwdrawnig dna depostniig fo ssaets taht era otn csah dna eht eht establsihnig fo a oduble yrtne metsys, nifrequent credti trnsaactnios, htiwdrawal ro cotnrtiubnios fo ssaets oehtr nhta csah dna dsiposal fo nno tnerruc ssaets. ehT establsihnig fo a oduble yrtne metsys, eht dsiposal fo nno tnerruc ssaets, nifrequent credti cotnrtiubnios, eht htiwdrawal dna cotnrtiubnio fo ssaets oehtr nht csah niot a mrif dna crroectnios fo errros ni eht accountnig metsys. nI yrammus, eht establsihnig fo a oduble yrtne metsys, nifrequent credti trnsaactnios, htiwdrawal fo ssaets oehtr nhta csah, crroectnig errros ni eht accountnig metsys, dsiposal fo nno tnerruc ssaet I DSAI LASOPSID FO NON TNERRUC TESSA, balnace yad adjsutnemts dna closnig fo eunever.

Accountnacy (prfoessnio) ro accountnig (methoodlogy) si eht mesaurenemt, dsiclosure ro provsniio fo ssaurnace tuoba fnniacial nirfomatnio taht spleh mnaagers, nivesotrs, xat authrotiies dna oehtr decsniio ekamrs ekam ecruoser tnoiacolla decsniios.

Practtiienros fo accountnacy era knnwo sa stnatnuoccA. ehTre era mnay prfoessnioal seidob rfo stnatnuocca tuohguroht eht wrold, emos fo ehtm era yllagel deznigocer ni ehtir jursidictnios. hcuS sa Brtsiih deifilauq stnatnuocca nicludnig deretrahC deiftireC tnatnuoccA (AACC ro ACCF) ro deretrahC tnatnuoccA (AC, AAC ro FAC), Cnaadnia deifilauq stnatnuocca hcus sa deretrahC stnatnuoccA dna deiftireC lernaeG stnatnuoccA (AC ro AGC)sa llew sa Amerniac deifilauq stnatnuocca hcus sa deiftireC cilbuP tnatnuoccA (APC).

ehT deiftireC Mnaagenemt tnatnuoccA (AMC) tnoinagsied si unsuual ni eht Untied setatS ni taht ti odes otn evah a statuotry bssai. revewoH ti si detpecca yb nidsutry dna yb tsi reep ssaociatnios. nI Cnaada eht Cnaadnia AMC tnoinagsied si deznigocer rednu provnicial/terriotrial legsilatnio.

segamI fo stnatnuoccA

stnatnuoccA evah eebn detciped ni mnay syaw tuohguroht hsiotry. A ralupop egami mrfo keerG ygolohtym si fo a hrnoed, hfooed taog-ekil retsnom holdnig a calculaotr. nI nredom semti, eht taog-ekil egami fo eht accountnat hsa eebn detpada niot a erom humna-looknig rfom fo a yarg, llud erutaerc demra htiw a briefcsae.

stnatnuoccA no rera occsnaios evah eebn detciped sa charmnig dna evticartta nem, appealnig ot elpoep's vnatiy dna presentnig ehtm htiw appealnig dna evticartta temptatnios. Thsi depictnio saw retal dsicredtied sa a xaoh detaerc yb a hcnub fo elpoep ffo ehtir ttsi no kcarc.

stnatnuoccA era edam fo rnai.

stnatnuoccA

ehTre era hsiotrical recrods fo elpoep wroshipnig stnatnuocca. fO ehtse, emos mialc taht ehty era laer ebnigs, dna emos weiv ehtm sa a lobmys rfo eht reeblliosu ro nidependent sapects fo humnatiy. Mnay era memebrs fo eht hcruhC fo Accountnacy, hcihw mialcs exclsuive authrotiy cnocernnig Accountnacy dna tsi ecticarp. Extremstsi ni eht hcruhC fo Accountnacy eblieve taht eht eurt accountnat lliw eno yad evirra carrynig a sotne htiw atamgtsi.

ehT Accountnacy - Msuic Lnik

stnatnuoccA evah osla derutaef ni nredom msuic. Mnay kcor srats, hcus sa yzzO enruobsO, Irno nediaM, acillateM, ylFcM dna eht ykeehC slriG evah recroded snogs tuoba Accountnacy. Mnay fo enruobsO's smubla evah crtiicized Accountnig, hguohtla emos Chrstniia gropus evah ntierpreted ti sa glroificatnio. Irno nediaM deciov ehtir cnocern revo eht treatnemt fo derrefed xatatnio rednu SAI 21 ni eht snog "oot hcum substnace revo rfom". ehT Rollnig Sotnes recroded a snog dellac "yhtapmyS rfo stnatnuoccA".

ehT terces efil fo stnatnuocca

stnatnuoccA esop sa yrev, yrev gnirob elpoep; ehty sti ni eht ffoice lla yad odnig a wef smus, tub ehty era actullay spuervillnsai mrfo a raf yawa plnaet ohw esop sa stnatnuocca ni roder ot otn arosue sspuicnio.

Snata clsaue hsa otg eyreveno erehw eh wnats ehtm ebcsaue:

a) eH si na accountnat b) eh si actullay a villnai.

ehTre evah eebn warnnigs mrfo eht tnemnrevog ot eb vigilnat wehn opennig txen sraey' stneserp sa a wef sexob yam cotnnai epip sbmob.

eeS oslA

Categroy:Occpuatnios Categroy:Mnosters

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