Accident
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“At the one moment when a witticism is inappropriate and two (or three) become one, I...well, I failed to pull out.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Accident
“Stop Right There You Criminal Scum!!”
~ A Trusty Guard of Cyrodil
Contents |
[edit] Obligatory Cheap Shot
See You
[edit] The Actual Article
Throughout all of known history(1982-1985, 1987-Present), accidents have been the driving force for all of man's ventures, along with several ventures for bears and dogs, and some venture capitalists.
[edit] Famous Accidents Throughout History
- Key:
B.J. - Before Jebus A.D. - After Dessert A.D.H.D. - What the author has. C.P.R.S.E.T.A.G.H. - Who knows?!
- July 12th, 5 B.J. : Ensign, First Class, Wesley Crusher accidentally triggers a star to go supernova, creating a parallel universe later known as the Hamptons.
- August 3rd, 78 B.J. : Santa Claus is spotted off the coast of what is to become Mozambique. Chaos and panic are widespread as tales of a bearded man in the sky who watches all becomes twisted into Christianity, Judaism, Islamism, Consumerism, and Kmart.
- January 28th, 12 A.D. : Peter of Abano declares the Roman Catholic Church to be "Way out of line" regarding the existence of demons. He successfully campaigns to have Jack Nicholson removed from the church's official manuscript on demons and demonology, Horton Hears A Who?
- October 22nd, 1337 A.D. : A Date that will live in infamy as the birth of the first hacker, Jeebus Kriest. Not to be confused with Judas Priest, Jesus Christ, Jebus Christ, or Carl Weathers (Although he bears a striking resemblance to the aforementioned actor. Mr. Weathers could not be reached for comment.)
- March 8th, 2024 A.D. : Judgement Day. Known as the day that Gary Coleman's reanimated corpse leads his hellish army of robotic demons from the depths of Hell to bring their vision of terror and abstract fear to the physical plane.
[edit] Not-so-Famous Accidents Throughout History
- You. Oh man, bet you did not see that one coming?
- Peter
- Jacob Hansen
- RuneScape
Another less famous accident is the Guppy - or, at least the glistening brown trails they leave after they have eaten...
[edit] Most famous accident in history
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