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Wow. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Wow!
You like me...You really like me!
Oh, my, let me catch my breath. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that I would be up here tonight, holding this award – I don’t even have an acceptance speech, well I do but - but it – it just fell down the front of my dress/pants while I was walking down the red carpet and I didn’t think that it was such a good idea to dig around in pants/dress because you know everything is on camera – like it is NOW!
Ok, um, well I'll try and wing it. I am so amazed to be up here tonight, especially because the other four women/men in this category were so amazing doing what they do and I have admired each of them as I have growing up in this business, that I feel like they all should be up here – no, sit down - just joking.
I would like to thank my Producers and my Directors for having the faith that they had in me in my attempt to do justice to my part in this very special project. My mother – GOD YES! I can't forget my mother. My mother was the most amazing woman and when I thought that I was going to spend the rest of my life in jail/in soaps/the mailroom/dancing on a pole she would tell me that one day something very special like this would happen if I just lived my dreams. She has Alzheimer’s so she can’t be with me tonight – or any night, actually.
I also want to thank my husband/wife/lover for their support and willingness to let me go out and do a job that I love as much as this.
And I would like to thank my second-grade teacher, Miss Elizabeth Vermullion for her inspiring speech to my mother when I was eight and she called me "dumb, stupid and slow." I guess she can go pound this very heavy, substantial and prestigious award square up that too tight ass of hers. Couldn't she? Oh, wait, she's dead - pity isn't it.
And most importantly, before the music comes up I want to thank my brother/sister because we are so unbelievably close that it borders on disturbing, but we mean so much to each other that I feel as he/she helped me get in touch with those deep dark feelings and realize that we have nothing to be ashamed of, but that we have to reach out and grab that which tantalizes us both.
So thank you, thank you, thank you – I will always cherish this, the Herford Cattle Ranchers Golden Calf for Experimental Breeding Award – Thank you, thank you, thank you.