Absolute power is power that is absolute. According to some, power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely, but others disagree. I, for one, believe there is nothing wrong with it. I have absolute power over my country, and I only use it for good — the good of the people, of course, and no other. It could never corrupt me. I know what is best for them better than anyone else, and I get so much more done without everyone getting in my way.
Yes, I know better than the people themselves, too. If I didn't, they wouldn't have put me in this position, now would they? People are stupid sheep. If they got to vote on everything, they'd make stupid decisions that were bad for them. They'd never have agreed to wonderful things like the chemicals in the water that make them happy. They're also very selfish and don't want what's best for others, so they need someone uninvolved making all the decisions. In fact, I actually had to give the sheeple a little help in electing me because they were too stupid to do it all by themselves, but it makes no difference now.
Now that I have absolute power,Â I have greatly improved the lives of all, even though they are stupid sheep who don't deserve my love. There is no more v½olence; everyone is always perfectly civil because they're being affected by subliminal messages that make them want to watch TV all day. All the resources are distributed fairly¿« A free market just doesn't do the job, you know? I had to take it over. The market prices were too high and benefited producers at the expense of customers, so I've set them lower so everyone can buy what they need. Now there are severe shortages of many essential items and long lines in front of the grocery stores, but at least it's fair. If only the producers werenÂ©t so selfish, there would be enough for everyone. Maybe I can find some w̄ay to show them the value of the common good.
I've discovered that I actually lik̄e doing this. Helping people i«s fun. Sometimes I do something just for myself, too � I can do anything Ï want, and I think I deserve a reward for all the good Iŵve done for this great nation. Last week I went golfing, and when I got back I ordered everyone to put a fish on their roof. I thought it Áould be funny. It turned out a lot of people didn't have any fish, thoughœ so I had to do something about them. They were raining ́on the parade. That�s not acceptable. I think they k̖̅now better now̐. Ť©
I�ve decided to take over �l̃l the farms. Ever̂yone ̀ĭ̑s running out of fo̍od b̈ė̈c̊ause the farmers are s̉̉elfːshly refusing to make enough �f it� I dœ̉n't actually know how to run a farm, but I̊ know they're doing it wroŇ̉̏g. ̛̝̞æ̜̠̒̚ I'm sure I can make th⅓s work somehow. I¼'ve done a wonderful job so far̢̘. The peopl̖̙̞̟̠e̢̊̐ are always happy.̉ ̊Th̍ose chem̎̐icals in the Ẁ̊̍̏ȃ̙̠̓t̙̝̟er are tru̝̠̐̓ly a g̢̖̍̏̑̕rea̐̑t inventiȍ̢̖n̝̞̟̠̋̋̍̏̐.
You knő̍w̓�̋ ̏̐Ȉ was going ť̍o̜̞̎̐ try an̜̞d̞̏ prǒduc̘̞̎e enouǧh f�̌�̜̋̍̐d̘̞̤ ̣ to feȇď̍ ̎̑e̐very̘̞̠̠̌̍̎̑one equi̘̤tably̢̘̜̠̎,̋̌̐ ̞¡̌⅞̋̌ ̝»but I don�̠̎t̟̔ thǐnk IŴ̌̓®̟̠̔ll botheȓ̘̠̓̕. Too much w×rk,̌ ̗and they don̑̑'t deserve it̘̠̏̔. The̦y̠̋̌Ŷ̡̋̓ȓe self̠i̗̜̠sh she̙ȅ̘̙̔p̡̟̠l̦e. Iï¿½ve b̟̠een so k̙̟̠̤i̍nd and generȏ̘̜u̙̜̝̟̠̥̦s̤,̘̎̑ ̛̜̒̓̔̕ȃ̖n̗̞̟̠̥d ̥I̙̜̝̞̟̠ donï¿½t get any gra̗ţ̜̞̠itud̡̑e̢̖̗̘̜̝̞̟̠̤̥̦̎̏̐ ̣.
̞̠̪̫̬̭̮̯L̢̧̨̗̞̟̤̥̩̋̏ ̣⅖̗̘̙̜̦̐ȍ̝̞̑̔k̡̟̠̓s l̪̫̭̯i̢̖̘̙̜̝̟̤̥̫̋̌̐̓̔ǩ̜̝̐ ̣̬e̞̟̭̔ th̯̯e̠̩̬̎̑̓̕ ̣y̓Ä©̭�̞̩̋̑re a̬̮l̎̕l ̫̬s̥̮̎t̩̫ª̨̌̕rvǐ̢̥̐ņ̝̞̟̤̪̬̭̑̓ ̣g t⅗̤̫̬ de̡̦a̧̝̞̟̤̥̫̬̭̯̎̐̑̓̕ ̣t̓h n̪⅝̧̘̜̑ ̣̤w̡̢̖̗̝̞̟̩̫̬̭̓. ̩̫̋Ť̨̐ha̡̧̨̗̙̜̟̤̦̩̫̬̭̯̎̐̑̓̕ ̣̪t̠¡⅔̌ll ¾hȏ̝̫w̧̤̥̦̩̯ ̨̣̪̭ ṱ̮̯h̫̫̫̬̭⅘̧̤̩̪̬m̗̘̠̠̭̌̎̓ï̬̎¿̝̓½⅚̤̥̪̒⅞̡̢̧̨̛̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̤̪̭̯̌̎̐̑̒̓̔̕̚ ̣̦̩̫̬̮