Aaron Rodgers

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“Anyone who plays quarterback in Green Bay is a loser.”
~ Brett Favre on Aaron Rodgers
“I agree with Brett Favre.”
~ Jay Cutler on the previous statement
“No one cares about your opinion.”
~ Terrell Owens on Cutler's opinion
“I hate you all!”
~ Randy Moss on being Randy Moss
“Oh THAT'S where my belt went!”
~ Triple H on the Superbowl XLV Championship Belt ceremony
“WE want a rematch!”

Aaron "Its His Fault" Rodgers is the man who has replace God Himself (I mean, Brett Favre) as the quarterback of the Green Bay Packers. Although replacing God himself, he quickly ascended to the title of Jesus. Once he gained this title, he used his newfound powers to usurp the mantle of God and claim all powers for himself.

AaronRodgers

Aaron Rodgers fighting off Favre Fans.

Rodgers is a cock-sucking, jizz-farming, cum-gargling ass hole who often engages in sexual activity with "Gay" Matthews. Rodgers was sent to Disneyworld where he had to fight off thousands of angry Bears fans to return to his peaceful home in The Shire.

The Running Game

The running game this season consisted of John Kuhn and Brandon Jackson. This duo was all that remained after the Battle of Endor. However, Rodgers, wielding the lightning powers bestowed upon him by the great Clay Matthews III, Rodgers was able to run the ball himself, even defeating Oscar Wilde in a footrace from Wisconsin to the Taj Mahal

The Line

SackedRodgers

As you can see, Rodgers takes a fall here "For the sport of it, young chap."

So, who is blocking?! I'll tell you who The Ghost of Jesus! Unfortunately Aaron Rodgers got sacked, a lot, something that never happened to Brett Favre in the history of his 19 (million) year career. Favre would jump on top of the pass rush, stand on their heads, and throw a rocket pass down field to nobody that would kill at least three defenders before he caught it himself. Aaron Rodgers... couldn't do that. But Rodgers did win Super Bowl MVP, which is something that "God himself" never did.

The Defense

Every play against the 2008 Packers defense was a touchdown. Until 2009 when the Packers brought in Dom Capers. Capers then said, "I PITTY THE FOO!." and the Packers defense never gave up another score until Tom Brady impregnated another supermodel.

=

The Wind

Clay Matthews III controls the wind. (and everything else for that matter)

The Maya Calendar

In December of 2012, the whole world will come to a screeching, blood-curdling halt. You have to admit that it's a distraction, right? Not for Rodgers who will continue to play football under a 13 mile-deep glacier, leagues of cold and dark water, and the inevitable rise to power of Prince, who shall be the glorious dictator of the Republic of the World.

Snap count

If you're watching a Packers game and you see Aaron Rodgers at the line of scrimmage, there's a good chance you'll hear him yell "Blue 58!". This is because, due to a huge misconception, Rodgers actually created the Roman Numeral system. In 200 B.C. the Romans, tired of requiring 13 scholars to calculate his passer rating, get the idea for the numeral system from hearing Rodgers snap-counts.

YES IT'S HIS FAULT

After all of these expert observations as to why it may not be Rodger's fault, it's still his fault.

  • Brett Favre is God. (Who happens to have an equal number of Super Bowl rings as Rodgers, so really is the God)
  • Brett Favre would have made the defense worse by throwing consecutive interceptions near the Packer's own red-zone.
  • Brett Favre would have been productive when it came to 4th quarter comebacks. Productive in this case meaning able to get 5 yards downfield before throwing an interception rather than going 50 and Mason Crosby missing a field-goal kick.
  • Brett Favre is God who was recently demoted to Rick Roll
  • Aaron Rodgers is a God.

Brett Favre Vs. Aaron Rodgers

The Official Brett Favre Versus Aaron Rodgers Verdict - with evidence.

Octeober 5, 2009

Final Score : Vikings 280, Packers 0

Favre: 40/40, 611 yds, 40TD, 0INTS

Rodgers: 0/50, -12 yds, 0TD, 50INTS

Rodgers proved that Brett really is a god by losing to him

Winner: Brett Favre

November 1, 2009

Final Score: Packers 0, Vikings 273

Favre: 39/39, 657 yds, 39TDS, 0INTS

Rodgers: 0/38, 395 yds, 0TDS, 38NTS

Brett Favre had four more yards than Aaron Rodgers, that's also the number of times Brett cock-slapped Aaron after the game.

Winner: Brett Favre

Divisional Playoffs 2009

Brett Favre once again proved Brad Childress is an idiot by following his play and look what it got them


Winner: BOTH OF THEIR HOT SEXY ASSES!!

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