|I got a lot of funny looks ten years ago when I started talking to people about Wikipedia. Hell, I got a lot of funny looks when I DIDN'T talk to people about Wikipedia. Maybe I shouldn't have been speaking Swahili and wearing a cowboy costume.
Let’s just say some people were skeptical of the notion that alien conspiracy theorists from all across the world could come together to create a remarkable article about how Dick Cheney was sodomized by the Klingons – all for the simple purpose of sharing.
No ads. No agenda. No strings attached. No content. No real facts. No clues. No shirt. No shoes. No brains. No problem.
A decade after its founding, nearly 400 bazillion people use Wikipedia and its sister sites every month - almost a third of the Internet-connected world. Fuck yea!
It is the 5th most popular website in the world (right after bigblackbutts.com) but Wikipedia isn’t anything like a commercial website. It is a community creation, written by volunteers making one entry at a time about Obama not really being black or how Uncyclopedia is so really, really evil. You are part of our community. You are our family. And, as our family, we're here to inform you that it's time you got off your asses and got jobs, you lazy shits. And I’m writing today to ask you to protect and sustain Wikipedia. I sure as hell am not going to -- I DO have a lifestyle of hot women and puppy paintball to keep up, you know.
Together, we can keep it free of charge and free of advertising, pop-ups, facts, needless government intervention, Uncyclopedia users and The Joker . We can keep it open – you can use the information in Wikipedia any way you want. Seriously, check out our article on The White House, it kicks ass! We can keep it growing – spreading knowledge everywhere, and inviting pointless unverifiable bullshit from everyone.
Each year at this time, we reach out to ask you and others all across the Wikimedia community to help sustain our joint enterprise with a modest donation of $2000, $350,000 $50,000,000 or more. Cough up, you cheap bastards, we know you have it. We log your IP and from it hack your computer and read your bank accounts. What the hell did you buy at Wal-Mart for $46.95, anyway?
If you value Wikipedia as a source of information – and a source of inspiration PRAISE JEBUS – I hope you’ll choose to act right now.
Otherwise, fuck you.
All the best,
P.S. Wikipedia is about the power of people like us to do extraordinary things. People like us write Wikipedia, one word at a time. People like us fund it, one donation at a time. People like us crash it, one entry at a time. It's proof of our collective potential to change the world. Those pussies at SkyNet? Amateurs. WE will rule the FUCKING WORLD.
|Donate, you cheap bastards.|
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A personal appeal from Jimbo Wales
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
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