A letter about Megan Fox

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

I don't write letters very often.

January 17th, 2014

My dear parents,

Good bye!

I don't write letters very often. To be honest, I have never actually written a real paper letter in my life. So you understand that this is an exceptional occasion.

You might have noticed that I left home. Oh, I am sure you did, considering the fact that I said goodbye to all of you and you responded. Dad even said something like: "And buy some vegetables, wontcha?". I am sorry I didn't respond to this. I was very determined to leave and these vegetables could've spoiled everything. But then I felt like I've done something terribly wrong and so I had to buy them anyway and to leave them in front of the door as well as this letter, which I really hope you are reading and which I have finished writing on the stairs. There were some neighbours who wondered what I was doing and if we had some problem with our electricity so that I had to do my homework outside of the apartment. I told them that that was the case. It was certainly a lie, but it was essential to my project. I could not force myself to invent something.

By the way, talking about lights and lies, Mr. Jackson promised he would visit us later in the evening to see if he can do anything about them. But you can just say that it is no longer a problem.

You probably would like to know why I left. It is not your fault. Or at least, not entirely. Do you remember me talking about that actress from Transformers? Her name is Megan Fox. You thought that everything was just because of me being a teenager and all, and so you were sure that would pass. And you are probably right, as I don't believe that people can love someone eternally (especially as they all die at some point). But the fact is that this is something a lot more serious than a teenager's passion. I love her.

Please, don't tell me you didn't know this would happen. You cannot tell me anything right now, as I am no longer with you and second, because I wouldn't have left without making sure that you understood my condition.

I started to talk to you, every day, at every possible occasion, trying to break your resistance again and again. But you wouldn't listen. Or worse. Sometimes you would listen and then, when I was sure you understood me, one of you would say: "Yes, this is exactly what I had when I was your age...". This phrase of yours hurt me so much, I couldn't express that pain in my soul using words. No, you couldn't have felt the same way I did! My love is unique. You don't read books very often. But if you would, you would see the same thoughts expressed by experienced writers. I hope this proves something to you. No?

You always wanted me to think logically, so where is your own logic right now? Just think about what I feel towards Megan and what you felt! How can you compare these two feelings?! Megan was still a baby when you were already a teenager!

And so you grew tired of me, in the same way my classmates did, and urged me to stop mentioning dear Megan on every possible occasion. And I had to stop.

Megan Fox
Even if Megan is rather pretty, that doesn't mean that she cannot have a nice character!

If you didn't understand me, how could you say that my love wasn't true? I had to leave, because I needed to find Megan. It was more than a dream, it was the only thing left for me in my life. I was not able to think about anything else. I kept on getting distracted from everything I was doing and my school work suffered terribly. Sometimes I thought I got away from my obsession and I felt like a free person, I was ready to enjoy life once again! And then, sooner or later, I would realize that I was keeping that thought about Megan somewhere at the back of my mind. What a deception it would be!

You always said that I did not know what kind of person she is and only liked her face and her body (this is the way you phrased it). I should admit that Megan is pretty, or even - maybe - beautiful. But this is not the point. I love her entirely, I mean not only her appearance, but her voice, the way she acts, the films where she played, no matter how bad they are, her walk, her clothes, her look, her words (yes, I am perfectly well aware that they are not her words originally)! If I weren't already in love with her, I would have fallen in love with all the other actors in Transformers, just because they have seen her in real life, know her the way she really is and had an opportunity to breathe the same air she did! But my heart was full of Megan.

I looked at her (on the screen), and knew what she felt at that very moment, I could follow her thoughts and understand what was the real meaning of the words that descended from her lips...

And then, one day, I found her Facebook page. And I tried to explain everything to her in a private message. I am not sure anyone writes private messages on Facebook nowadays, but I did. And I pretty much failed. So the next day I tried to present my feelings in a more clear way. I said: "Dear Megan, you don't know me but I do. You do not have to respond to my message, just know that if one day you see someone outside your house watching your window, it will be me..." and so on. And then I kept on writing to her. At the beginning it was one letter (not a real letter, but I cannot call this a 'post'!) a week. Then once a day. And then it became a habit to write to her every single time I had a new thought. She has never responded, but I am sure that she read at least one of these messages, and then, of course, kept on reading them, understood me and my love and began to love me herself. I really hope so.

You, Mom and Dad, wondered why I was spending so much time in the Interent. I couldn't explain what I was doing to you and I had to keep silent. But then you said that it was impossible to communicate with me and blocked my access to my own computer! Now you understand that after that action of yours I didn't have any choice.

My dear parents, do not blame yourself, this is the last thing I would like you to do. I am sure you did not understand all the consequences of your actions back then. But now there is no other possible outcome: I will act as I described in my letters to Megan, I will come to the place where she lives and watch her window. It was hard to find the address, as every single person whom I questioned on the Interent told me he was sure that he knew but every single time it was a different one - so I decided to visit evey place indicated to me. One day I will succeed and this the only thing which I am sure will happen.

She will look out of her window, recognise me and go out of her house towards me. And my quest will be completed.

Good bye and sorry for everything!

P.S. In a week or so, my money will probably run out, so I will have to visit you to ask for more. I hope this is not a problem for you!

Personal tools