A Clockwork Orange
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“My God, it's full of stars!”
A Clockwork Orange or How to become a Serial Rapist is a film by Stanley Kubrick based on the only book that [Anthony Burgess wrote. Famously, it was based on the American version of the book, which left out the last chapter. While the penultimate chapter entailed Alex's meeting of his other former droog and a sudden realization of the cyclical and erroneous patterns of teenage violence he was now growing out of, the last episode began with the phrase "It was all a dream", depicting Alex awakening to his normal life at a kitten sanctuary - with hilarious consequences.
edit Media Hysteria
The movie was one of Kubrick's most shocking works - due to the fact that he hadn't done much lately and found himself extremely bored all the time... So he got "creative"-, and was pulled from commercial release after death threats were sent to him, mostly from teenagers who felt they might be desensitized by the lurid, almost pornographic scenes of violence and sex. This was much to the dismay of the establishment, who thought younger viewers might respond to a role model (who wouldn't want to be Alex?!) like the protagonist, a lover of classical music and poster-boy for milk consumption (later in his career, he became the founder and spokesperson of the GOT MILK? campaign... he's being closely watched by Pamela Anderson and her PETA friends so he won't be milking any more cows than necessary).
Many British tabloids came out vociferously (literally screaming loudly) against the film, boosting its box office ratings. The Sun, a British left leaning tabloid publication, claimed the "subliminal penetration" utilized by the film (a mix of English and Slav) was disrespectful to its Soviet heroes, famously renouncing it with the front page article "Stalin Wouldn't Have Stood For It!!" [sic]. Right wing papers also blasted it, saying it made white people look like "violent sociopaths", and that the central character "seemed a bit gay", all the while rebelling outright against the House Un-Americans Committee.
The movie eventually saw the light of day under the name A Lovely Walk in the Countryside to avoid negative attention (the idea being that critics of its first outing would not watch a film with this new title), but was finally re-released with its working title A Chocolate Orange in 2001, managing to stave off legal interventions from British confectionist giant, Terry.
The first reel of the film begins in the Korova Moloko bar, which is Russian for "Cow" "Milk" bar. The main character, Alex DeLarge (played by the insidious Malcolm McDowell), and his gang of "droogs" are enjoying glasses of "Milk-Plus"(melted Milky Way candy bars "plus" Willy Wonka powder and M&Ms). Alex is some sort of lobster-like creature. The droogs, as they are referred to, are gay lovers who like to meet for milk-based drinks and ultraviolence.
Alex and his droogs then continue on to a journey, by means of horse and carriage, to a house out in the futuristic English countryside. They proceed to break in the house by tricking the woman there into opening the door with promises of candy, penny-knives and hot dickings (well, at least the last part is really not a lie), tying down a man and forcing him to watch as Alex, to the tune of "Bodies" by the Sex Pistols, rapes his wife using a pair of scissors, a Q-tip, a brand new Motorola Razr and his huge penis which he sticks in her Poopa. Oh, and the other gang members raped her too (because kids, Sharing is Caring).
Alex's droogs (named Keith, Jorge, and Tim) begin to dislike Alex and his false sense of authority. They feel as though Alex is taking too much "money and cunt". Thus, Keith, Jorge, and Tim compose a plan of vengeance. Vengeance most FOUL.
After Alex murders, robs, and eats an old lady with dozens of pet dinosaurs in her room (with hilarious consequences), he exits the house to find Tim waiting outside. Tim shoots Alex in the head and then blows his load in Alex's face. With hilarious consequences.
To this day, A Clockwork Orange remains one of the most controversial movies of all time. It contains scenes that depict such deplorable acts as murder, mugging, rape, buggery, theft, kitten huffing, hitting people with sticks, hitting people with slightly larger sticks, hitting people with giant over-sized dildos, and yelling at people. Detractors of the film say that the film glorifies violence and might convince people that violence is a good thing. However, Stanley Kubrick has defended his vision, and has been quoted prior to his death as saying "What my film actually did is predict the post cold war political climate, as well as the rise of disaffected ASBO youth in the 90's, as relayed in their language of violence and sex. You know what I mean homie? Damn right!"
edit A Clockwork Orange Trivia
Did you know that...
- The word "droogs" was a skewed prediction of the modern slang "dawgs" that Burgess made after using a fautly time-telescope. He lost a fifty-dollar bet over the matter and subsequently applauded the time-telescope maker before bludgeoning him in an alleyway. This turned out to be a really BAD idea down the road.
- Anthony Burgess got the inspiration for the evilness of the lead character Alex Delarge from the villain who had sexually abused his hamsters for 20 years. He claimed writing this book was a release for the repressed anguish he had experienced.
- Stanley Kubrick originally withdrew the film because he was worried by the escalating attacks by mechanical oranges who were outraged with his film portrayal as their species as a "bit of a soft touch".
- The film contains scenes filmed on location in Oscar Wilde's outhouse.
- The film was originally meant to be shot and set in Africa, but the casting crew failed to find any caucasian males over the age of 11.
- Nobody, including author Anthony Burgess, knows what the title means.
- Kubrick was nominated for a knighthood by Tory MP Snobbus Cuntus Maximus for A Clockwork Orange's influence on the 139435 fold increase in attacks on vagrants.
- When Alex talks about "a bit of the old in-out in-out", he actually refers to his hobby of knitting his long-suffering mother a woolly jumper to match her fetching purple hair.
- When Alex kills a rich woman in one of the scenes it is believed he did it with a sculpture of a penis, it is in fact a bust of Ashton Kutcher (Who can also be referred to by most of the same cultural slang) who was born 3 years after the movie was released.
- Malcolm McDowell came down with a case of the wailing blowfelds during production, and was only able to film 3 scenes. Kubrick used clever camera angles and a sound-a-like voiceover to make it appear he is playing Alex is every scene for the first half of the film. This is also why Kubrick changed the plot so that instead of the Ludovico technique giving Alex an aversion to violence, it turns him into a 6'3" black man.
- The Korova Milk Bar is based on a real bar. Located in downtown heaven.
- The Ludovico Technique apparatus scene was suggested to play the song "Le Freak" as nazi footage was played for Alex. This was an idea by Adolph Hitler, but was rejected due to Kubrick distaste for disco music. Saying and I quote "I already have a couple of guys running around in cock slings, I don't need anymore gay shit".
- The milk bottle smashed on Alex's head left Malcolm McDowell with permanent brain damage. For example, he cannot walk without clicking his heels and jerking his arm.
- The hyperactive sex scene was shot in real time. The whole cast were each given six shots of adrenaline and one Viagra pill before filming.
- The film was released in the U.K with an X rating. It was also 15 hours long and contained subliminal messages to the illuminati.
- The extended version of the gang fight scene includes a cameo from Chuck Norris. He roundhouse kicks Alex in the jewels and the droogs begin calling him "Crooked Dick" throughout the remainder of the scene.