A Bold Fresh Piece Of Humanity

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Revision as of 01:56, April 29, 2013 by (talk)

Jump to: navigation, search
“Bill is great; liberals are brainwashed, emotionless idiots.”
~ Jesus on the novel
“Barack Obama is a lot like Golom.”
~ Frodo Baggins on the plot line
“Seven hundred thousand thumbs way up. Liberals fund modern psychiatry.”
~ Bill O'Reilly on his own book
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article very remotely related to A Bold Fresh Piece of Humanity.

A Bold Fresh Piece of Humanity is book written by Bill O'Reilly, and it is awesome. Liberals hate it because they are intolerant bigots that feel threatened by competition because most never played a sport because their parents treated them like an egg.


A Bold Fresh Piece of Humanity

Cover art. Term is applied loosely.

Chapters 1-3

Bill explains his upbringing in a strict Catholic school. It is clear he developed a very strict sense of discipline, which liberals feel threatened by and thus attack. Liberals recognize that the most successful among us (doctors, business executives, ect.) are usually conservatives. Most liberals lack the discipline required to be trusted with important jobs, thus they flock at universities where they uselessly rant to students not paying attention because all information is available online. Basically, Bill explains how he developed into such a wildly successful man and it is the exact opposite of liberalism.

Chapters 4-6

Bill, with unparalleled insight and impressive logic, explains how liberals are racist. He asks why liberals feel voter ID's will only suppress the black vote. He points out the fact that liberals must feel blacks are so helplessly inferior, they are incapable of getting a free ID card. He continues to question the effectiveness of telling minorities virtually half of the country, conservatives, are racist. He claims that telling young minorities believing half the country is racist paralyzes their ambition and intellectual development.

Chapters 7-9

Bill now bashes liberals for having inflated, yet clearly faux, self-esteem. He cites how most liberals who are famous have drug addiction problems, multiple divorces, and behave irrationally over and over again. He then discusses college professors and how they are, for the most part, completely inept and openly intolerant of those they disagree with. He talks about how the left's destructive, fascist approach to politics mimics the left's behavior and attitudes in the real world. Rude, intolerant, bigots that feel the need to constantly re-assure themselves with award ceremonies.

Chapters 10-12

Bill explains why democrats are always getting caught in sex scandals. It is because they were complete losers growing up and basically virgins until age 30.

Chapters 13-15

Here Bill asks why liberals let poor, urban blacks abort their babies but not send them to a better school. He touches on the idea that liberals view those with high levels of melanin production in their skin as exploitable, helpless creatures that are unworthy of equal opportunity.

Chapter 16-18

Here Bill asks why the most influential liberals are comedians. He figures its because liberals are simple-minded, slow thinking, undisciplined fools that must be told jokes to keep their attention. Basically, he calls children stupid children.

Chapter 19-21

Now Bill explains beating the crap out of 70 sunken chested, pot bellied, slightly bearded liberal men clad in thick-rimmed glasses, sweaters, and khakis. He then explains he didn't have sex with their girlfriends too because they either didn't exist or didn't shave their vaginas.

Chapter 22-24

Here Bill basically just laughs about what liberals will do when immigration reform and gay marriage pass. He touches on the total destructiveness of liberal economic policies and predicts liberals will soon be fighting for equal rights for child rapists.

Movie Option

Comedy that just follows around useless 20-somethings living in NYC off of daddies trust fund.

Personal tools