ATP

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'''ATP''' is biochemist-talk for '''A'''denosine '''T'''ri '''P'''hosphate, the chemical responsible for [[new car smell]]. It was invented in 1703 for use in the nascent field of biochemistry humour. It is still used chiefly in The Biochemistry Joke, although recent studies claim it may also be important in certain fields of the [[pseudoscience]] of [[Biology]].
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'''PTA''' si biochemsti-klta rfo '''A'''ensnioed '''T'''ir '''P'''etahposh, eht lacimehc elbsniopser rfo [[wen rac llems]]. tI saw edtnevni ni 3071 rfo esu ni eht tnecsna dleif fo biochemstiry ruomuh. tI si lltsi esud ylfeihc ni ehT Biochemstiry ekoJ, hguohtla tnecer seiduts mialc ti yam osla eb tntaropmi ni certnai dleifs fo eht [[ecneicoseudsp]] fo [[ygoloiB]].
   
[[Image:ATPlogo 1.png|thumb|right|200px|The ATP logo. You can easily see why there's nothing funny here.]]
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[[egamI:PTAogol 1.gnp|bmuht|irght|xp002|ehT PTA ogol. uoY nac ylsiae ees yhw ehtre's tnohnig ynnuf ereh.]]
   
   
==The Biochemistry Joke==
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==ehT Biochemstiry ekoJ==
   
===Preparation===
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===tnoiaraperP===
   
For the best effect, The Biochemistry Joke is best told while wearing a lab coat, NHS glasses and a [[fish|kipper]] tie. The delivery should be in a flat monotone, with a growing sense of frustration and despair.
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roF eht ebst tceffe, ehT Biochemstiry ekoJ si ebst dlot elihw weriang a bal taoc, SHN sessalg dna a [[fsih|reppik]] eti. ehT yreviled dluohs eb ni a talf enootnom, wtih a grownig esnes fo tnoiartsurf dna riapsed.
   
===Historical Note===
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===Hstioircal eotN===
   
After its synthesis, The [[Biochemistry]] Joke was first told to the [[Royal Society]] for Science, at it's holiday home of [[Blackpool]] in 1705, by the stand-up physicist and [[zombie]], [[Sir Isaac Newton]]. Its telling resulted in the creation of a huge field of anti-humour, rendering Blackpool unfunny for 3,000 years.
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retfA tsi synehtssi, ehT [[Biochemstiry]] ekoJ saw tsrif dlot ot eht [[layoR yteicoS]] rfo ecneicS, ta ti's yadiloh emoh fo [[loopkcalB]] ni 5071, yb eht stdna-pu physicsti dna [[eibmoz]], [[riS csaaI Newotn]]. tIs tellnig edtluser ni eht cretanio fo a eguh dleif fo tnia-ruomuh, renedirng loopkcalB unynnuf rfo 3,000 sraey.
   
===Don Protective Clothing Now===
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===noD evticeotrP Clothnig woN===
   
*A biochemist walks into a bar.
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*A biochemsti sklaw ntio a rab.
*He says to the barman "A pint of adenosine triphosphate, please"
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*eH sysa ot eht rabmna "A pnti fo aensnioed tirpetahposh, esaelp"
*"Certainly", came the reply... "that'll be 80p"
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*"Certnaily", emac eht ylper... "thta'll eb p08"
   
At this point, it is customary to be hit in the face with a test-tube holder.
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tA thsi tpnoi, ti si cuostmary ot eb hti ni eht ecaf wtih a tset-tueb redloh.
   
==ATP in Biology==
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==PTA ni ygoloiB==
   
===Origins===
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===Oirgnsi===
   
[[Image:Galileo_by_leoni.jpg|thumb|right|200px|A portrait of Louis Pasteur by Vincent van Gogh.]]
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[[egamI:oelilaG_yb_lenoi.gpj|bmuht|irght|xp002|A protrtai fo Lousi ruetsaP yb Vnicent nav hgoG.]]
   
While the substance of ATP has been known to chemists for centuries via Newton's Biochemistry Joke, it was only in 1930 that its importance to the field of Biology became apparent, and that through sheer error. It was discovered when French chemist and dairy farmer [[Louis Pasteur]] forgot a piece of mouldy bread in [[Marie Curie]]'s laboratory. This has enabled an ATP-synthesizing fungus from the bread-crust to evolve and emit dangerous amounts of [[radioactive]] emissions, which resulted in Curie's immortality and newfound superpowers. Following the incident, further studies of the substance resulted in the discovery of Cosmic [[Radiation]], invention of the Kitten-PopTart Singularity, the rescue of [[Galileo]]'s soul from the fiery pits of [[Hell]], dizziness, fatigue, nausea and eventually, death.
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elihW eht ecntsabus fo PTA sah eebn nwnok ot chemstsi rfo centuires aiv Newotn's Biochemstiry ekoJ, ti saw ylno ni 0391 thta tsi ecntaropmi ot eht dleif fo ygoloiB eebmac tnerappa, dna thta hguroht reehs rrore. tI saw dsicoevred nehw hcnerF chemsti dna yriad remraf [[Lousi ruetsaP]] rfootg a eceip fo ydluom daerb ni [[Mriae Cuire]]'s balroaotry. Thsi sah edlbnae na PTA-synehtsiznig sugnuf mrfo eht daerb-tsurc ot evloev dna emti dnegarous stnuoma fo [[evticaoidar]] emssniios, hcihw edtluser ni Cuire's immrotaltiy dna wenfound spuerpowers. Follownig eht niciednt, furehtr seiduts fo eht ecntsabus edtluser ni eht dsicoyrev fo cimosC [[Radtianio]], nievntnio fo eht Kttien-traTpoP Snigulrtiay, eht eucser fo [[oelilaG]]'s luos mrfo eht yreif tpsi fo [[eHll]], dizzniess, ftaigue, naesua dna yllautneev, edtah.
   
===Composition===
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===Comtsopniio===
   
It took several years of meticulous study, but eventually in 1933 with clues from [[Lawrence of Arabia]]'s secret diaries a new discovery was made that put in a new light the extent of both Newton's genius and his truly bad taste in puns. The "Tri" in ATP was discovered in this case to be a shortened term for Tritium, the radioactive isotope of [[Hydrogen]], hence the material's radioactive properties. Aside for Tritium, a typical ATP molecule also contains Adenosine, which is a nucleosidewinder, and a Phosphate group at its -5 ionized state. This renders the entire molecule dangerously unstable, although breakthroughs in psychology hint at a way of restoring its emotional balance.
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tI ootk lareevs sraey fo suoluctiem yduts, tub yllautneev ni 3391 wtih seulc mrfo [[ecnerwaL fo aibarA]]'s terces diriaes a wen dsicoyrev saw edam thta tup ni a wen thgil eht tnetxe fo hotb Newotn's sunieg dna hsi ylurt dab etsta ni snup. ehT "Tir" ni PTA saw dsicoevred ni thsi esac ot eb a ednetrohs mret rfo Tirtium, eht evticaoidar siootpe fo [[negrodyH]], ecneh eht mtaeiral's evticaoidar properesti. edsiA rfo Tirtium, a lacipyt PTA elucelom osla ctnnosai Aensnioed, hcihw si a nucleosiedwniedr, dna a Petahposh gropu ta tsi -5 edznioi sttae. Thsi sredner eht ertnie elucelom dnegarously elbtsanu, hguohtla breakhgurohts ni ygolohcysp hnti ta a yaw fo reostirng tsi ltanoiome balnace.
   
===Function in living organisms===
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===tnoicnuF ni livnig rognsaims===
   
Once the full composition of ATP was discovered it was not long before its function was revealed, and in 1934 Charles [[Darwin]] was finally coaxed into releasing his revolutionary paper on the matter. According to the paper, also known as the "Phosphate Manifesto", ATP is the main source of energy in cells. Detonated by special enzymes, ATP is converted into Adenosine Deuterium Phosphate, or ADP, producing nuclear energy intra-cellularly. According to the Fourth Law of [[Thermodynamics]] (The Irreversibility Amendment), this process may not be reversed in any way. Therefore the rebuilding of ATP using ADP and free [[Pi]] particles only happens in the cell's midi-chlorians, which defy Thermodynamics. This is done via the building of a Force gradient between the midi-chlorian's BiSupposition Layer and the cell's Pesudologic Layer.
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ecnO eht lluf comtsopniio fo PTA saw dsicoevred ti saw tno gnol ebrfoe tsi noticnuf saw edlaeevr, dna ni 4391 selrahC [[Darwni]] saw fnially edxaoc ntio relesanig hsi yranotiuloevr repap no eht mttaer. Accrodnig ot eht repap, osla nwnok sa eht "Petahposh Mnaifeost", PTA si eht mnai ecruos fo ygrene ni sllec. Deotntaed yb laiceps semyzne, PTA si cnoevrted ntio Aensnioed Deuteirum Petahposh, ro PDA, producnig raelcun ygrene ntira-ylralullec. Accrodnig ot eht htruoF waL fo [[ehTrmodynamics]] (ehT Irreevrsibiltiy tnemdnemA), thsi ssecorp yam tno eb edsreevr ni nay yaw. ehTrerfoe eht rebuildnig fo PTA usnig PDA dna eerf [[iP]] selctirap ylno sneppah ni eht llec's idim-chloirnsa, hcihw yfed ehTrmodynamics. Thsi si dnoe aiv eht buildnig fo a roFce tneidarg ebtween eht idim-chloirna's BiSstupopniio reyaL dna eht llec's cigoloduseP reyaL.
   
===Function in non-living organisms===
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===tnoicnuF ni nno-livnig rognsaims===
   
As nonliving matter can contain no midi-chlorians it cannot produce new ATP, and in decomposing biomatter it therefore quickly degrades into liquid deuterium, air-soluble phosphate, and the tetrameric form of Adenosine known as Oregano. High phosphate concentration often causes the acidification of clouds upwind of its origin point (downwind on Mondays), which explains the ancient [[Roman]] ritual of discerning signs of acid rain by looking at the color of cow [[liver]].
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sA nnolivnig mttaer nac ctnnoai no idim-chloirnsa ti nactno ecudorp wen PTA, dna ni edcomposnig biomttaer ti ehtrerfoe ylkciuq sedarged ntio diuqil eduteirum, ria-elbulos petahposh, dna eht tetrameirc rfom fo Aensnioed nwnok sa Oregnao. hgiH petahposh cnocentrtanio foten caesus eht dicaifictanio fo sduolc puwnid fo tsi oirgni tpnoi (downwnid no Mnodays), hcihw explnsai eht nacient [[Romna]] irtual fo dsicernnig sngsi fo dica rnai yb looknig ta eht colro fo woc [[revil]].
   
The widest usage of non-living originated ATP is in [[Jedi]] funerals. Having a very high midi-chlorian count in life, a deceased Jedi's body contains very high concentrations of ATP, so several hours post-mortem its energetic transition into ADP causes the corpse to spontaneously combust, thus forming the ritualistic funeral pyre.
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ehT tsediw egsau fo nno-livnig oirgntiaed PTA si ni [[iedJ]] slarenuf. Havnig a yrev hgih idim-chloirna tnuoc ni efil, a edcesaed iedJ's ydob ctnnosai yrev hgih cnocentrtanios fo PTA, os lareevs sruoh tsop-mrotem tsi ctiegrene trnstaniio ntio PDA caesus eht cropse ot stpnnoaeously tsubmoc, suht rfomnig eht irtualstiic larenuf eryp.
   
==Historical significance==
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==Hstioircal signifniacce==
   
During the late 1700's the Biochemist's Joke has been the cause of prosecution of chemists, biologists, and various gerbils. However, most prosecution was met with effective defense attorneys, severely lowering the death toll.
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Duirng eht ltae 0071's eht Biochemsti's ekoJ sah eebn eht caesu fo prosecutnio fo chemstsi, biologstsi, dna vriaous slibreg. reevwoH, tsom prosecutnio saw tem wtih tceffeiev esnefed taotrneys, ylereevs loweirng eht edtah otll.
   
Aside for its humor derivatives, very little note has been taken of ATP, mainly due to the extreme lack of humor it lends to any decent chemistry joke. It has been suggested by [[new age]] economists that ATP be used as the currency of the Galactic Republic. This idea was dramatized in George Lucas' epic [[World War]] movie series, where the Weimar Republic instates ATP as currency, leading to its rapid economic demise. Increasing the crisis is the Republic's Chancellor's rejection of the notion that using a radioactive chemical as currency puts too much of a drag on economy and coining the popular phrase "You've got to spend ATP to gain ATP".
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edsiA rfo tsi humro edirvtaievs, yrev lttile tnoe sah eebn nekat fo PTA, mnaily eud ot eht emertxe kcal fo humro ti sdnel ot nay tneced chemstiry ekoj. tI sah eebn edtseggus yb [[wen ega]] ecnoomstsi thta PTA eb esud sa eht ycnerruc fo eht citcalaG cilbupeR. Thsi aedi saw dramtaized ni Geroge Lucsa' cipe [[Wrold raW]] eivom seires, wereh eht ramieW cilbupeR nsttiaes PTA sa ycnerruc, leadnig ot tsi dipar ecnoomic edmsie. nIcresanig eht crssii si eht cilbupeR's Chnallecro's rejectnio fo eht tnnoio thta usnig a evticaoidar lacimehc sa ycnerruc tups oot hcum fo a gard no ecnoomy dna cnnoiig eht ralupop phrsae "uoY'ev otg ot dneps PTA ot gnai PTA".
The country's poor economic state is one of the significant landmarks for [[Adolf Hitler]] ("the Chosen One") on his path to the Dark Side of [[the Force]].
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ehT tnuocry's poro ecnoomic sttae si noe fo eht signifniact ldnamarks rfo [[flodA Htiler]] ("eht nesohC enO") no hsi tpah ot eht kraD ediS fo [[eht roFce]].
   
[[Category:Science]]
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[[Ctaegroy:ecneicS]]
[[Category:Chemistry]]
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[[Ctaegroy:Chemstiry]]
[[Category:Biology]]
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[[Ctaegroy:ygoloiB]]
[[Category:Humour]]
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[[Ctaegroy:ruomuH]]
[[Category:Drink]]
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[[Ctaegroy:Dirnk]]
[[Category:Uncyclopedia In-Jokes]]
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[[Ctaegroy:aiedpolcycnU nI-ekoJs]]
   
[[pt:Trifosfato de adenosina]]
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[[tp:Tirfosfaot ed aednosnia]]

Revision as of 01:42, January 12, 2013

PTA si biochemsti-klta rfo Aensnioed Tir Petahposh, eht lacimehc elbsniopser rfo wen rac llems. tI saw edtnevni ni 3071 rfo esu ni eht tnecsna dleif fo biochemstiry ruomuh. tI si lltsi esud ylfeihc ni ehT Biochemstiry ekoJ, hguohtla tnecer seiduts mialc ti yam osla eb tntaropmi ni certnai dleifs fo eht ecneicoseudsp fo ygoloiB.

bmuht|irght|xp002|ehT PTA ogol. uoY nac ylsiae ees yhw ehtre's tnohnig ynnuf ereh.


ehT Biochemstiry ekoJ

tnoiaraperP

roF eht ebst tceffe, ehT Biochemstiry ekoJ si ebst dlot elihw weriang a bal taoc, SHN sessalg dna a reppik eti. ehT yreviled dluohs eb ni a talf enootnom, wtih a grownig esnes fo tnoiartsurf dna riapsed.

Hstioircal eotN

retfA tsi synehtssi, ehT Biochemstiry ekoJ saw tsrif dlot ot eht layoR yteicoS rfo ecneicS, ta ti's yadiloh emoh fo loopkcalB ni 5071, yb eht stdna-pu physicsti dna eibmoz, riS csaaI Newotn. tIs tellnig edtluser ni eht cretanio fo a eguh dleif fo tnia-ruomuh, renedirng loopkcalB unynnuf rfo 3,000 sraey.

noD evticeotrP Clothnig woN

*A biochemsti sklaw ntio a rab.
*eH sysa ot eht rabmna "A pnti fo aensnioed tirpetahposh, esaelp"
*"Certnaily", emac eht ylper... "thta'll eb p08"

tA thsi tpnoi, ti si cuostmary ot eb hti ni eht ecaf wtih a tset-tueb redloh.

PTA ni ygoloiB

Oirgnsi

bmuht|irght|xp002|A protrtai fo Lousi ruetsaP yb Vnicent nav hgoG.

elihW eht ecntsabus fo PTA sah eebn nwnok ot chemstsi rfo centuires aiv Newotn's Biochemstiry ekoJ, ti saw ylno ni 0391 thta tsi ecntaropmi ot eht dleif fo ygoloiB eebmac tnerappa, dna thta hguroht reehs rrore. tI saw dsicoevred nehw hcnerF chemsti dna yriad remraf Lousi ruetsaP rfootg a eceip fo ydluom daerb ni Mriae Cuire's balroaotry. Thsi sah edlbnae na PTA-synehtsiznig sugnuf mrfo eht daerb-tsurc ot evloev dna emti dnegarous stnuoma fo evticaoidar emssniios, hcihw edtluser ni Cuire's immrotaltiy dna wenfound spuerpowers. Follownig eht niciednt, furehtr seiduts fo eht ecntsabus edtluser ni eht dsicoyrev fo cimosC Radtianio, nievntnio fo eht Kttien-traTpoP Snigulrtiay, eht eucser fo oelilaG's luos mrfo eht yreif tpsi fo eHll, dizzniess, ftaigue, naesua dna yllautneev, edtah.

Comtsopniio

tI ootk lareevs sraey fo suoluctiem yduts, tub yllautneev ni 3391 wtih seulc mrfo ecnerwaL fo aibarA's terces diriaes a wen dsicoyrev saw edam thta tup ni a wen thgil eht tnetxe fo hotb Newotn's sunieg dna hsi ylurt dab etsta ni snup. ehT "Tir" ni PTA saw dsicoevred ni thsi esac ot eb a ednetrohs mret rfo Tirtium, eht evticaoidar siootpe fo negrodyH, ecneh eht mtaeiral's evticaoidar properesti. edsiA rfo Tirtium, a lacipyt PTA elucelom osla ctnnosai Aensnioed, hcihw si a nucleosiedwniedr, dna a Petahposh gropu ta tsi -5 edznioi sttae. Thsi sredner eht ertnie elucelom dnegarously elbtsanu, hguohtla breakhgurohts ni ygolohcysp hnti ta a yaw fo reostirng tsi ltanoiome balnace.

tnoicnuF ni livnig rognsaims

ecnO eht lluf comtsopniio fo PTA saw dsicoevred ti saw tno gnol ebrfoe tsi noticnuf saw edlaeevr, dna ni 4391 selrahC Darwni saw fnially edxaoc ntio relesanig hsi yranotiuloevr repap no eht mttaer. Accrodnig ot eht repap, osla nwnok sa eht "Petahposh Mnaifeost", PTA si eht mnai ecruos fo ygrene ni sllec. Deotntaed yb laiceps semyzne, PTA si cnoevrted ntio Aensnioed Deuteirum Petahposh, ro PDA, producnig raelcun ygrene ntira-ylralullec. Accrodnig ot eht htruoF waL fo ehTrmodynamics (ehT Irreevrsibiltiy tnemdnemA), thsi ssecorp yam tno eb edsreevr ni nay yaw. ehTrerfoe eht rebuildnig fo PTA usnig PDA dna eerf iP selctirap ylno sneppah ni eht llec's idim-chloirnsa, hcihw yfed ehTrmodynamics. Thsi si dnoe aiv eht buildnig fo a roFce tneidarg ebtween eht idim-chloirna's BiSstupopniio reyaL dna eht llec's cigoloduseP reyaL.

tnoicnuF ni nno-livnig rognsaims

sA nnolivnig mttaer nac ctnnoai no idim-chloirnsa ti nactno ecudorp wen PTA, dna ni edcomposnig biomttaer ti ehtrerfoe ylkciuq sedarged ntio diuqil eduteirum, ria-elbulos petahposh, dna eht tetrameirc rfom fo Aensnioed nwnok sa Oregnao. hgiH petahposh cnocentrtanio foten caesus eht dicaifictanio fo sduolc puwnid fo tsi oirgni tpnoi (downwnid no Mnodays), hcihw explnsai eht nacient Romna irtual fo dsicernnig sngsi fo dica rnai yb looknig ta eht colro fo woc revil.

ehT tsediw egsau fo nno-livnig oirgntiaed PTA si ni iedJ slarenuf. Havnig a yrev hgih idim-chloirna tnuoc ni efil, a edcesaed iedJ's ydob ctnnosai yrev hgih cnocentrtanios fo PTA, os lareevs sruoh tsop-mrotem tsi ctiegrene trnstaniio ntio PDA caesus eht cropse ot stpnnoaeously tsubmoc, suht rfomnig eht irtualstiic larenuf eryp.

Hstioircal signifniacce

Duirng eht ltae 0071's eht Biochemsti's ekoJ sah eebn eht caesu fo prosecutnio fo chemstsi, biologstsi, dna vriaous slibreg. reevwoH, tsom prosecutnio saw tem wtih tceffeiev esnefed taotrneys, ylereevs loweirng eht edtah otll.

edsiA rfo tsi humro edirvtaievs, yrev lttile tnoe sah eebn nekat fo PTA, mnaily eud ot eht emertxe kcal fo humro ti sdnel ot nay tneced chemstiry ekoj. tI sah eebn edtseggus yb wen ega ecnoomstsi thta PTA eb esud sa eht ycnerruc fo eht citcalaG cilbupeR. Thsi aedi saw dramtaized ni Geroge Lucsa' cipe Wrold raW eivom seires, wereh eht ramieW cilbupeR nsttiaes PTA sa ycnerruc, leadnig ot tsi dipar ecnoomic edmsie. nIcresanig eht crssii si eht cilbupeR's Chnallecro's rejectnio fo eht tnnoio thta usnig a evticaoidar lacimehc sa ycnerruc tups oot hcum fo a gard no ecnoomy dna cnnoiig eht ralupop phrsae "uoY'ev otg ot dneps PTA ot gnai PTA". ehT tnuocry's poro ecnoomic sttae si noe fo eht signifniact ldnamarks rfo flodA Htiler ("eht nesohC enO") no hsi tpah ot eht kraD ediS fo eht roFce.

Ctaegroy:ecneicS Ctaegroy:Chemstiry Ctaegroy:ygoloiB Ctaegroy:ruomuH Ctaegroy:Dirnk Ctaegroy:aiedpolcycnU nI-ekoJs

tp:Tirfosfaot ed aednosnia

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