AT&T

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This Article Has been Reserved by Magic man for Conservation Week
Please don't murder/maim this poor tree until this environmentalist is done hugging it.
Phone in hand

Goddamn-it! Is this fucking thing even on?!

AT&T is an American multinational telecommunications corporation. The company is headquartered in Whitacre Tower, Dallas, Texas, United States. The company has also... What? Shit. Is I don't think the readers can hear me, Margie. Well I know that, obviously! Hello? Hello? Can you hear me? I think it dropped my call. Goddamn-it, it did! It dropped my fucking call! I am, it's ringing! IT'S FUCKING RINGING, MARGIE!

Alright, hello? Can you hear me? Great! Anyway, as I was saying, AT&T has also... what the fuck?! It dropped my call again! Fucking AT&T! AT&T is worst.

*Ring ring ring*

Underwater cell phone

Can you hear me now?

Hello? Can you hear me? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Shit! I don't think they can hear me Margie!

That's it!

Get out the fucking phone book, Margie! Because I'm gonna call costumer service, that's why! I don't care how out of date our phone book is, Margie, just get it out! And who's fault is that? Who's job is it to call for new phone books in this house? I'll give you a hint, it's not mine. That's right, Margie, it's yours. How are you supposed to call without an up-to-date phone book? I don't know, maybe use the neighbor's or something. They're not serial killers, Margie, they're nice people. No there is no smell coming from their back yard! It's all in your head, Margie, ya old bat! And what does that have do do with anything? JUST GET ME THAT DAMN PHONEBOOK! Thank you.

Now, where is it? A... Ab... Ae... Aj... Ao... Ah! At. Now... AT&T... AT&T... ah! AT&T! Goddamn-it! There's ten fucking numbers here! Which one?... Here we go, tech support, that'll do. 1-800-436-8722

It's ringing, Margie! Get off my back!

What? Hello? Yeah, I'd like to... hey, are you a machine? Hello? You are, aren't you? Yes I wanna talk you a representative! Damn right I said that! Shit, it put me on hold, Margie.

Fifteen minutes later.

Hello? Yes! Thank God! You know I've been on hold for fifteen minutes? After I'm done filing this complaint, I'll file one for that. What? No! Don't put me on... fuck.

Twenty more minutes pass.

Hello? Yes, I'm trying to file a complaint. Is this the right place to do that? Finally! You know I've... hello? IT DROPPED MY FUCKING CALL! SHUP UP, BITCH! DON'T TELL ME TO STOP YELLING ALL OVER THE PLACE! What?! What you mean you're getting out your... Oh my god! Don't point that thing at-

Bang!

You shot me! I can't believe you shot me! I gotta get the phone, get the fucking phone. Gotta call nine one one. What? SAY AWAY FROM ME CRAZY WHORE! It was just working a second ago! I have no bars? WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEA-

Bang!

Last time he calls me a crazy wore, that asshole. Good thing he didn't have Verizon.

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