A Splode
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THIS ARTICLE A SPLODE.
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[edit] This page was directed by the letter A!!!! Yay!!!
| BOOM! | This user likes to as-plode! BOOM! |
“If you asplode on the commode, use the mop to clean up the slop.”
~ White House bathroom graffiti
“A little a splosion is a dangerous thing, just like sex, and a great deal of it is absolutely hilarious”
~ Oscar Wilde on A splode
"Your head a splode."
~ Vector Strong Bad on A splode
"His head just a splode"
~ Captian Obvious on a splode
“I a splode your head with my intercontinental balistic sidewinder missiles!”
~ Kim Jong Ill on intercontinental balistic sidewinder missiles
“The a splosion created by my roundhouse kick was enough to create a second universe!”
“Now nothing's going to taste right”
~ Jeeves after being shot by this guy
“...”
~ Gordon Freeman on A splode
“101 UR /\/\()/\/\ 4 5P10D3”
~ Random 12 Year Old on the Interwebs on A splode
A splode is the process of explosion but in a “ka-blooey” way that might be described as "ka-gooey". Most a splosions do not necessarily require explosives or fire for it to a splode. A splosions can be found in places where there is a buildup of a high outward force (such as where there is too much confusion). A splosions are (naturally) rare and beautiful events, much like the event horizon of a black hole, but less boring.
The discovery of a splosions dates back to the 1900s when explodologists were developing a new form of rapid expanding energy force [citation needed]. Explodogists had been experimenting with explosions to develop a replacement for the common horse. They found that when materials that normally did not react with organic material, such as snacks and people, would a splode if the mass of the objects were a prime number. The explodogists named this reaction the I Can See it A Splode Principle. They could not determine why this happened due to the lack of technology.
While explodogists worked further into researching the cause of a splosions, scientists researched into historical accounts of a splode. The earliest record of a sploding dates back to the Triassic period. There was a hypothesis that, in addition to the possible asteroid, a splode played a role in the extinction of many animals. Many animals may have suffered spontaneous a splosions (See spontaneus a splosions below).
Thornton Wilder was secretly an explodogist, and he snuck his own Deadly Splosion theory into his play, Our Town:
"Y'know what I think, George? I think the moon's getting nearer and nearer, and there's gonna be a big a splosion!"
Recent studies show that this would cause the whole planet to a splode, making an a splosion that would a splode everything that can possibly be a sploded ever.
During the 1950s, the microwave oven was developed and sold to many households[citation needed]. Some users microwaved food that was non-porous or microwaved a glass of water. When taken out of the microwave, users placed the food or glass of water on the table. As they did this, the food or glass of water seemed to miraculously a splode! The scientific community was astonished that they may have discovered the cause of a splode. However, when thorough research was performed, a conspiracy was uncovered, involving ducks, a Great White Shark and Nazi Dolphins who were plotting to take over the world by introducing a device that would cause food to a splode (such as the famous A Sploding Pie), which in turn would generate enough laughter and hilarity to destabilise and a splode the world. Come off that then, that's not funny.
Another recent exploration of a splosionating is credited to Deidara (see: Transvestite) seen in anime Naruto (see: crap). He causes peoples who cannot comprehend his 1337 art to a splode. Also, he/she is subject to butthurt from fangirls.
Today, we know the cause of a splosions thanks to greatly improved scientific equipment and resources (such as the computer and Uncyclopedia).
[edit] Etymology
The term "A Splode" comes from the Greek Asp, meaning “Asp” and the Latin Lodere meaning “Ka-Blooey!” ['kuh:blooh:ih]
[edit] How a splode works
“Lucy, you got some a'splodin to do on the end of my knob.”
~ Ricky from I Love Lucy
“WTF!?!”
~ Austin B.-Expert on A splosions and Otherwise
“Asplosions are the chemical reactions to the F-Bomb”
~ Krisayah Uchiha-Future Rula Of teh WORLD!
A sploding, not to be confused with ass-ploding (See Fart), is the process in which Asps – which we all know are the major constituent of quarks and leptons – suddenly start craving Cheetos made by leprechaun migrant workers. Unfortunately, due to the size of the Asps, Cheetos cannot be delivered in the bite-size pieces that they desire. (No, not even those crumbs that are left at the end. Mmmm, crumbs...) This causes the Asps to a selerate in every direction known to humans (and 7 others known only to ostriches) in the search for Cheetos of the right size.
However, due to the incredibly strong attraction between the Asps and their non-existent Penises, such a large energy force is created in such a small vicinity that all surrounding material implodes. Unfortunately, this results in an extremely dense area forming sans-Asp, a.k.a. a black hole. Luckily, this style of ######### only exists for a fraction of a second as the Asps get bored due to their incredibly short attention span and forget why they weren't chillin' at their crib.
On a macroscopic scale, the a sploding object appears to combust and you suddenly lose all your Cheetos. However, the onlooker will suddenly be propositioned by an unsavory amount of Doritos. On impact with air, much like anti-matter, a splosions will a splode, sending chips and cracks flying down your trousers. Then, in a blanket of chips and cracks, you will die, mercilessly scattered among the rocks and other rod like things.
[edit] Causes of A Splosion
These are the major causes of A Splosion
- If You Were Anderson, And Your Bed Mecha Was Shot Up, You Would A Splode.
- Being Shot By The Coke Rifle.
- Being Shot By The Stapler (Gun)
- Not playing World Of Warcraft for over an hour
- being within 100 miles of Chuck Norris
- Getting sucked in by a Jet Engine
- Reading Wikipedia
- Going to candy mountain with Tom and Jerry.
- Reading in general
- Playing Starcraft
- Getting hit by a nuclear tennis ball
- Messing with investment models parameters
- Using a microwave oven secretly built by ducks trying to take over the world.
- Holding your farts in (WARNING: Medic(Dick)al experts strongly advise against this activity as it will cause your farts to travel up your spine into your brain, and give you shitty thoughts.)
- Playing the Banjo
- Preps
- Listening to Hannah Montana music(Actually causes a slow and painful death, such as self hanging.).
- Result of too much hot sauce poured up your nose.
- Not hugging an asian chick. If an asian chick wants a hug and you do not give her one, it will cause the biggest asplosion know to earth, so save the earth, be a hippy, hug an asian.
- When you play kickball on Friday the 13th with the cabal (there is no cabal)
- Visiting the nuclear plant when the workers are on strike
- Having Vector Strong Bad throw a Weird square at you is know to cause your head to a splode (Note: only works in the Homestar Runner universe, and possibly Mexico).
- Roundhouse kicked in the back of the face by that bearded Raptor Jesus,Chuck Norris.
- Being on Dancing with the Stars(also causes suicide).
- Shot in the face by a 50. cal.
- Crapped on by a flying cow-ninja.
- Farting pickles
- Dividing by zero
- Being JFK
- Having a dream.
- Swallowing your lazer
- Having The Retardis land on your head
- Dick Cheney stares into your eyes (KABOOM)
- Getting into a discussion with Bruce Lee on whether or not Chuck Norris is better than him
- Insulting Deidara's artwork. (Also see number 96)
- Banging your Grand Mama in the past (Causes a splosion of nob and head.)
- Pissing on a Smurf
- Reading this article
- Editing this article
- Watching Spiderman 3
- Clicking on a gay porn link to "see what it's like"
- Having intercourse with an alien
- Being 341 pounds, your fat will collide against your jelly vibes and u will asplode like n00bcake.
- Being hit by a proper lazer
- Rofling for over 7 minutes
- Applying fruits to Nazis (see Fruit A splosion)
- Holding your breath
- Being a terrorist (specifically Osama Bin Laden or Saddam Hussein
- BILLY MAYS HERE!!" *ASPLOSION*
- Having an orgasm at the exact moment of a solar flare
- attempting to lick your elbow
- trying to build a time machine
- Kissing a turtle with herpes
- Nuclear Launch Detected. *ASPLOSION*
- Getting chainsawed in Gears of War 2.
- Being a Detroit Lions fan.
- Not being a Detroit Lions fan.
- Not admitting you're gay (c'mon dude, you know you are...)
- Huffing Kittens
- Sexting
- Dancing with the devil in the pale moonlight
- Getting over 2 million freinds on facebook
- Plasma Grenade (You will DIE)
- Listening to the sound of one hand clapping.
- Trying to Breakdance badly.
- Winning fair and square.
- Living to be -1 years old.
- Touching Heavy from TF2
- Touching Barack Obama (Iraq Osama)
- Touching Tom Cruise
- Saying "It's OK to be gay" at an All Straight Persons Convention(ASPC).
- Being that uber-nerd no one likes
- Doing WAY too many steroids while trying to juggle that chainsaw collection of yours.
- Dissing Yu-Gi-Oh fans.
- Eating a bomb
- Eating the hot girl next door's "special" cheesecake.
- Eating someone's toes while their sleeping.
- Claim that you're IronMan
- Saying that a "carload of farts equals a bathtub full of meth."(we know who you are)
- Winning "The Game"! (Fuck, I lost.)
- It's a Pipe-Bomb!(Yay!!!)
- Being Tom Cruise
- Finding the legendary 500 FT Turd-Monster!
- Not loving Dane Cook.(We love you Dane!!!){NO WE DONT!!!!!(BOOOM)}(LolBomb)
- Saying "NO HOMO" after doing something really, really, REALLY gay.
- Not admitting that you lost "the game". (Fuck, there we go again.)
- Swallowing that firecracker last summer.
- Talking to Chuck Norris for more than 10 minutes.
- Listening to Hannah Montana fans for more than 10 minutes.
- Doing a monkeys homework.
- Being yourself.
- Not being yourself.
- Thinking George W. Bush isn't the biggest failure of mankind
- Watching the Disney Channel
- Being Randy Johnson... he A Sploded a bird... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WF85R1em7Zs
- using evil and dark magic
- Attempting to reason with a screaming jonas brothers fangirl
- attempting to have an intelligent conversation with a screaming jonas brothers fangirl
- doing just about anything with a screaming jonas brothers fangirl
- Finding the cabal (there is no cabal)
- Attempt to kick Chuck Norris (as if you could ever land a hit on him)
- Being a Wankster
- Finding out the meaning of life (which, by the way, is 42)
- Flirting with Deidara (you know he's NOT a chick, right?)
- Eating Nuclear Lulz
- Attempting to understand the length of Longcat.
- Not attempting to understand the length of Longcat.
- Taking a hike when someone tells you to go take a hike.
- Flying a kite when someone tells you to go fly a kite.
- Falling into a ditch when someone tells you to go fall into a ditch.
[edit] Spontaneous a splosions
“Yeah, that can happen.”
~ Captain Denial on spontaneous a splosions
“Spontaneous a splosions are mostly unasplained.”
~ Captain Obvious on spontaneous a splosions
Spontaneous a splosion is a process that has been carefully studied. Although there is still much to discover, several theoretical explanations have been created.
[edit] Go ahead a splode
Main article: SASHS
SASHS (Sudden A Sploded Head Syndrome), also known in the pseudo-scientific community as Hyper-Cerebral Electrosis, or HCE, is a condition believed to be caused by overloading the brain with the body's own electricity through intense thinking and concentration, resulting in the spontaneous combustion or volatile a splosion of the patient's head.
[edit] A splode you a go
Spontaneous a splosions that occur to humans and a few animals result in a split-second severe mental insanity. When people are repeatedly stressed or their mood abruptly changes to anger, their body cannot handle this pressure very well. If the body is not capable of suppressing this anger or stress, it can result in a splode without warning from a chemical equilibrium imbalance. A splosion may also be caused by holding in farts too long, causing intestinal gasses to ignite, watching YouTube Poops regularly, or by looking directly at the operational end of The Device.
This disorder is the result of the genetic makeup of that person. People with a life-long career that deals with troublesome areas, such as technical support or administrative work, will have a greater chance of a sploding.
[edit] Spontaneous a splosions
There is no cure, but there are treatment options.
[edit] Fruit a splosions
A splosions can occur in some fruits without any reason. Cases of a splode in fruits include Fruitopia and the mysterious fruit-a-splode-in-your-face-when-you-eat-it affliction. In Fruitopia, fruits a splode into a delicious drink. Fruit-a-splode-in-your-face-when-you-eat-it usually occurs when someone is about to take a bite of a fresh, juicy fruit. The cause of spontaneous fruit a splode has been recently dicovered, and i will tell u as far as we know, when fruit is sitting down and gets bored it decides to prank call pizza hut and asks for a whopper unfortunately there is no whopper there, so it has diarrhea and eventually a sploads because of the smell, that is how a fruit a sploads. Pictured here is the famous instance of Adolf Hitler attempting to eat a sploding watermelon at a demonstration at Bergen-Belsen. Shortly thereafter, he turned to his unidentified female companion and roared "Damn, this is just like last night!"
A fruitcake is the opposite of fruit a splosions. Instead of an a sploding outward force, fruit is drawn into its centre core while rapidly increasing in mass.
[edit] Terrorist a splosions
The everyday terrorist usually a splode while running into a building full of people, holding a detonator. Many terrorists have done this before, being led to believe that they will get 72 virgins in heaven. When they get there however, they realise that the virgins are male.
[edit] Kidney a splosions
Most commonly found in people who have been doing the Atkins diet for several years. The weakened kidneys reach a critical state where they a splode abruptly. It's not uncommon to ear a low-carber utter the words "my kidneys a splode!" Despite their a sploded kidneys, they do not die and continue ambling about as lively as ever, much to the frustration of medical experts.
According to new research by proffesional Chucktologists (see Chuck Norris), if Chuck Norris glares at you, your kidneys will start to melt. If he stares at your for 5 seconds, your kidneys a splode. If he pokes you while he is staring at you, Mr.T will appear out of a magical portal used by the Tooth Fairy and a splode you and half of Canada (because Canadians are only good for their bacon).
[edit] Kitten a splosion
The finest and most appropriate time to huff kittens is revealed after a kitten a splodes. The process is normal to all pregnant cats. It is necessary to achieve a seven eighths vote in the Kitten Senate and a five fourths vote in the House. After the congressional requirements are satisfied the kitten's mother must approve the request and you must then give the mother five three packs of tennis balls, three gallons of milk, five hand caught dead mouses, 42 pounds of cheese,Five golden rings, Four calling birds, Three French hens, Two turtle doves, a partridge in a pear tree, three of your eye lashes from both eyes, and your first born child.
[edit] Asplosion Reactor
A new study has shown that scientist are now able to tap into the power of an asplosion and create an asplosion reactor, a relatively shaky new reactor for space-craft and chuck norris' foot, which is believed to be the cause of such devestation. As a result all Space-craft with Asplosion reactors REALLY SUCK! Because they crash daily. Of course if you believe that you must be a Wikipedia admin or something, because Asploding is the best thing that can possibly happen. Ever. Period.
Mudkip Asplotion : is when a mudkip pos uot your ass and screams like ablack guy "i mah firerin mah laZah" then procede to aspode you with his lazer.
[edit] Applications of a splode
“I sure a sploded that bitch.”
~ Marc Antony on Cleopatra
A splode is often used in the media as a more colourful and vibrant explosion. Such example would be a car chase scene. Instead of the car exploding, the occupants of the car would a splode. When a splosions are used effectively, it manifests a brilliance that natural a splodes display.
[edit] Use By Noobs
N00bs use the term asplode as a form of 13375p33k. For example:
N0n-N00b: Lol I pwnt u with a rocket launcher!
N00b: Oh teh noes!!! I am asplode!!11!eleventyone!!
N0n-N00b: Wtf?
[edit] A splode simulation
It is possible to replicate a miniature a splosion by using some sort of external energy or force, such as a large hammer against a brittle rock.
A common example that is taught in science class at school is the water balloon. The water balloon is a safe and easy method of demonstrating a simulation of an a splosion. Students simply fill the water balloon with water and the a sploding device is made. To activate the a splode, take a pin and poke the balloon. The a splode will occur splashing water all over the place. You can best appreciate the a splosion with a high speed camera.
[edit] A splode: the command prompt
Micro$oft secretly enabled a splode as a DOS command. Opening the command prompt and entering C:\asplode would start a countdown which would, when finished, cause your hard drive to a splode. Entering D:\asplode made the CD drive a splode. And entering A:\asplode would would make the floppy drive a splode. If you have a B:\ drive, you can a splode it by entering B:\asplode. Usually this makes the 5.25" floppy drive a splode! If you enter this into a Linux shell, it a splodes all computers within a 5-mile radius that run Window$. By entering Ω:/asplode, the internets will a splode. If you loved your PC, you would have entered this DOS command.
(Note: drive letter may vary between PCs.)
[edit] ASPLODED!!!!!!!!!!
BOOM YOU ASPLODED! By reading this paragraph you have now asploded. How's it feel? Kind of anticlimactic, ain't it? Yeah, it wasn't that awesome for me either. Want some pot? No? How about a nice visit from MR. HAPPY!!!(Dun Dun Duuuuun)
The next guy: I fucking love Mr Happy. He killed my dog
[edit] See also
