AAA

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:''AAA AAA AA AAAAAAA AAA [[AAAAAAAAA|AAAAAAAAA!]], AAA AAA AAAA AAAA AA!''
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:'' AAA AAAAA AA AAAAAAA AAA [[AAAAAAAAA!]], AAA AAA AAAA AAAA AA!''
{{Cquote|Ha! I Won Again!}}
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[[Image:TC2highscore.png|thumb|250px|right|The mark of the undisputed champion.]]
[[Image:TC2highscore.png|frame|The mark of the undisputed champion.]]
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{{whoops|Atheist Alliance of America}}
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[[AAA]] is, was, and always will be, without question, ''the'' greatest [[video game]] player on [[Earth]]. Known only by the three initials he uses on arcade high score lists, he has left his ubiquitous mark in the RAM chips of countless motherboards. He both owns and has played every single video game in the universe, including the superintelligent ones developed by the [[Pentagon]] that suck you into a [[Tron]]-like cyberspace where you fight to the death against the CPU itself. He has killed approximately 12 video game CPUs in this fashion.
{{Q|Whoever he is, he must piss a lot of people off. I mean, I'd be pissed too if my high score just got knocked down ten ranks in about two minutes by an anonymous showoff.|Oscar Wilde|AAA}}
 
{{Q|Man, who is this guy who keeps beating my PacMan score?|God|AAA}}
 
{{Q|Sure plays a mean Pinball.|The Who|AAA}}
 
{{Q|Snake! Respond! Snake?! SNAAAAAAAAAAAKE!|Roy Campbell|Crack}}
 
{{Q|I can imagine how many people suffered because of this... someone.|Jack Thompson|AAA}}
 
{{Q|Nobody can beat him.|Them|AAA}}
 
[[AAA]] is without question ''the'' greatest [[video game]] player on [[Earth]]. Known only by the three initials he uses on arcade high score lists, he has left his ubiquitous mark in the RAM chips of countless motherboards. He has played every single arcade game in the universe, including the superintelligent ones developed by the [[Pentagon]] that suck you into a [[Tron]]-like cyberspace where you fight to the death against the CPU itself. He has killed approximately 12 video game CPUs in this fashion.
 
   
 
Among other accolades awarded to him, he has a cylindrical [[battery]] cell size named after him as well as an automobile organization.
 
Among other accolades awarded to him, he has a cylindrical [[battery]] cell size named after him as well as an automobile organization.
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__NOTOC__
 
==Appearance of AAA==
 
==Appearance of AAA==
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It is not known exactly what AAA looks like, as he is understandably reclusive. Conflicting eyewitness reports of a skinny twenty-something [[Koreans|Korean]] with stubble, a pasty-faced former [[Atari]] [[beta|beta-tester]], and even a six-foot-tall bearded Eastern [[Europe]]an have all at some point been attributed to AAA. It is clear that unless he ever chooses to publicly reveal himself, we can only continue to speculate. Personally, I think he is a tall, Asian, stunningly handsome, single, twenty-something, well built hunk. ''Sigh''. Unfortunately the odds are that AAA is a small [[Japan]]ese boy with a ridiculous amount of talent at [[DDR]]. Most of the time, he wears a hood to hide his face. Scary.
   
It is not known exactly what AAA looks like, as he is understandably reclusive. Conflicting eyewitness reports of a skinny twenty-something [[Korea]]n with stubble, a pasty-faced former [[Atari]] beta-tester, and even a six-foot-tall bearded Eastern [[Europe]]an have all at some point been attributed to AAA. It is clear that unless he ever chooses to publicly reveal himself, we can only continue to speculate. Personally, I think he is a tall, Asian, stunningly handsome, single, twenty-something, well built hunk. ''Sigh''.
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==History==
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Despite the enigma surrounding AAA, a few footprints have been traced back to him to what scientists call a [[confusion|"probably-enough-to-prove-something"]]-degree. The most noted of which is probably the [[3D Realms]] incident of May 1998. George Broussard of 3D Realms, at the time developing Duke Nukem Forever, allegedly found his computer hacked screening only a short, though heavily encrypted, message:
   
==Myths about AAA==
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{{cquote|I finished your game and will not allow it to be released until it meets my stand'''AAA'''rds.}}
   
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Due to the previous success of 3D Realms' [[Duke Nukem]] games an interest in such a company would not seem unlikely. Dismissed as a mere amateur-hack the message was sent to the FBI for decryption without any change of directions concerning the game's progress. A few days later the developers found that their work had been severely improved, as someone during closed hours had begun to replace their use of the Quake 3 engine with the better suited Unreal-engine. The [[science|confusion]] was stilled when the FBI's encryption units found the cleverly disguised signature in the message. Duke Nukem forever has since then been a work in progress.
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==Myths about AAA==
 
It is a common myth that AAA is actually a very bad player, citing several sub-par high scores signed 'AAA'. What the people making these claims don't understand, however, is that these scores are actually so high that AAA overflowed the score counter. Thus, it is possible that the top score in your local arcade machine is actually several billion points more than that displayed.
 
It is a common myth that AAA is actually a very bad player, citing several sub-par high scores signed 'AAA'. What the people making these claims don't understand, however, is that these scores are actually so high that AAA overflowed the score counter. Thus, it is possible that the top score in your local arcade machine is actually several billion points more than that displayed.
   
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There's recent speculation that he may actually be a [[machine]] - not like [[Arnold Schwarzenegger]] but rather like a [[computer]] or an 8 digit [[calculator]].
 
There's recent speculation that he may actually be a [[machine]] - not like [[Arnold Schwarzenegger]] but rather like a [[computer]] or an 8 digit [[calculator]].
   
==Speculations about AAA==
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Another myth claims that AAA is so bad, that he uses cheat devices to beat games he buys.
[[Image:03-0018A.jpg|right|thumb|210px|Some say this is a genuine image of AAA. Man, some people are so STUPID!]]
 
   
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Contrary to popular belief, he has yet to win [[The Game]] - something he himself admitted to in a rare interview - although he has come far closer then anyone else, and plays it every single day. Shortly after said interview was conducted, he returned to Valhalla to slumber and feed.
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==Speculations about AAA==
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[[Image:03-0018A.jpg|right|thumb|210px|Some say this is a genuine image of [[AAA]]. Man, some people are so STUPID!]]
 
Since AAA's first high score in [[1958]], experts have pondered what, if anything, AAA does between playing video games. For the longest time, it was thought that AAA was somehow the source of all video game hints, but nobody could compile any solid evidence to prove this. When Prima invented Strategy Guides in the mid [[1990]]s and sold them before the games for them even came out, experts began to assume that she, in fact, was AAA.
 
Since AAA's first high score in [[1958]], experts have pondered what, if anything, AAA does between playing video games. For the longest time, it was thought that AAA was somehow the source of all video game hints, but nobody could compile any solid evidence to prove this. When Prima invented Strategy Guides in the mid [[1990]]s and sold them before the games for them even came out, experts began to assume that she, in fact, was AAA.
   
 
Further studies via hidden cameras disproved this notion when Prima, though incredibly skilled, failed to produce the high scores attributed to AAA. Though Prima does not say anything on the subject, experts generally accept the idea that Prima somehow obtains hints from AAA, which she then tests and writes down into her strategy guides. How Prima obtains this information is yet to be determined, but interviews with the former Queen of the Martians suggest that she does have some sort of relationship with the mysterious AAA.
 
Further studies via hidden cameras disproved this notion when Prima, though incredibly skilled, failed to produce the high scores attributed to AAA. Though Prima does not say anything on the subject, experts generally accept the idea that Prima somehow obtains hints from AAA, which she then tests and writes down into her strategy guides. How Prima obtains this information is yet to be determined, but interviews with the former Queen of the Martians suggest that she does have some sort of relationship with the mysterious AAA.
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==About AAA insurance==
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AAA's influence has appeared in several elementary schools in several anti-drunk driving programs. However, AAA was true to his mysterious identity and took the form of a DrumMania 4th Mix machine and played catchy disco-infused-with-voodoo/tribal songs written by [[Vin Diesel]] for the children to remember. One boy attempted to play the game machine but since there were too many 128th notes in a level-1 song, the boy's head [[A Splode|exploded]]. Investigators would later find out that the game did not cause his death, but his infalliable faith for several religions, which is impossible. The widespread of the boy's death and these excruciatingly catchy songs made AAA popular with the [[MADD]]. Fortunately, 117% of the members were experiencing menopause. This caused the MADD to take action, out of spontaneity, and create the American Automobile Association, or Triple A, named after AAA.
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The company ended up losing millions of dollars in profit in its first quarter because soon after it began business, a majority of the people who signed were people who had too much [[time]] on their hands. These people became curious about what AAA meant (through days of staring contests in the mirror) and ended up listening to the extremely catchy disco-infused-with-voodoo/tribal songs, resulting in [[spontaneous combustion]] just from being near, looking at, or even thinking about anything besides the lyrics to the song, the beat to the song, the tune to the song, and sports drinks (especially water, or, in fact, any liquid/gel substance).
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[[Image:AAA.jpg|left|thumb|300px|These people suffer from AAA's influence.]]
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Unfortunately, the buzz and popularity of the Vin Diesel songs ironically caused more people to listen to them. People today still suffer from Vin Diesel songs. Vin Diesel's disco-infused-with-voodoo/tribal music is now the 7th leading cause of death, placing in front of being stung by several [[stingrays]].
   
 
==Stories from the life==
 
==Stories from the life==
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===HaloPwner666===
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I was playing [[Halo]] 2 on Containment, right? We were playing Capture the flag, we just started. me and six other guys were watching the flag when two seconds later, the flag vanished. it said: Spartan 114 took the flag! No one was that fast, there were no possible Multiplayer cheats for Halo 2 so far. My guess? It was AAA.
   
 
===Jenny===
 
===Jenny===
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===Craig===
 
===Craig===
Once upon a time I was the king of [[Street Fighter]]. I'd travel the land and wherever I found an arcade, I'd play and I'd beat everyone who stepped up with impunity. My skill was so great I used to humiliate my opponents by beating them in every possible match-up the game had to offer. I'd pay for their games and their food and their drink to make them stay and take more punishment. I turned the game into an art, where my every move was the most graceful, I stopped the opponent as his every turn, and I never repeated a combo twice in the same day.
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Once upon a time I was the king of [[Street Fighter]]. I'd travel the land and wherever I found an arcade, I'd play and I'd beat everyone who stepped up with impunity. My skill was so great I used to humiliate my opponents by beating them in every possible match-up the game had to offer. I'd pay for their games and their food and their drink to make them stay and take more punishment. I turned the game into an art, where my every move was the most graceful, I stopped the opponent at his every turn, and I never repeated a combo twice in the same day.
   
 
But then I met this guy. . . it's so weird, it wasn't like I paid attention to what he looked like but when I try to remember I can only see a [[blank]] [[space]]. He didn't make eye contact, he didn't say anything, he just picked Balrog. In World Warrior. Without putting in a quarter. I didn't really have time to take in that and to tell the truth I was so far into the game I didn't notice it was weird. But then he beat me so damn hard he got on top of the high score list in just one round. The second round was over in like, four seconds and I sort of fell over. I got to my feet [[right]] away but the guy had vanished, just vanished without a trace. But not before putting in his name on the high score, you guessed it, AAA.
 
But then I met this guy. . . it's so weird, it wasn't like I paid attention to what he looked like but when I try to remember I can only see a [[blank]] [[space]]. He didn't make eye contact, he didn't say anything, he just picked Balrog. In World Warrior. Without putting in a quarter. I didn't really have time to take in that and to tell the truth I was so far into the game I didn't notice it was weird. But then he beat me so damn hard he got on top of the high score list in just one round. The second round was over in like, four seconds and I sort of fell over. I got to my feet [[right]] away but the guy had vanished, just vanished without a trace. But not before putting in his name on the high score, you guessed it, AAA.
   
==AAA's video gaming achievements==
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===Harry===
AAA has achieved the world's highest scores on hundreds of video games. Just for the sake of it, he's also achieved the world's lowest and middlest scores as well. He even achieves scores in regular increments, just to show that he can get any score he wants, really.
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There was this one time I was playing Road Burners at the arcade, and this guy jumps onto the bike next to me, drops a quarter in, and waits until I picked the track. As soon as it says Go, he just zooms straight past me. I barely even caught a glimpse of him. Then a few seconds later, he races towards me. Backwards. I just manage to get out of the way, and complete the race at what was my best time ever. I went to put my initials in, but it wouldn't let me. I'd lost! Written in the place that should've been mine was "AAA - "0.00.93".
   
*Kicked that time when you typed in "A-S-S" off the high score board... bastard
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===ZZZZZ===
*In Giga Wing, the bullets bounce off his ship ''all the time''.
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I took my old N64 and [[P. Diddy|Diddy Kong Racing]] game I had out of the closet and turned it on, and it said that the Game Pak is corrupted and may be irreparably damaged. I continued and I went to the time trial mode, and each track had a lap record of 00:00:00, followed by the 3 letter ID, AAA.... I turned it off and powered it back up, and it was gone, and all of my data was back, but I will never forget this, the time when AAA conquered my DKR game.
*In Darius, the game says "WARNING! A HUGE BATTLESHIP AAA IS APPROACHING FAST.".
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*A is the only letter to be shared by all human languages (and possibly quite a few more), thanks to AAA's efforts.
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===John===
*He beat the "Nuclear Mode" in the Atari game Missile Command
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I was trying to frame AAA by having a bad score at pinball and typing AAA for the initials. But when it showed the high score table my score changed from 100 to 9,999,999,999. Then a man came up to me and said "You're not AAA!" and kicked me. I will never forget what happened and will continue on my search for AAA.
*He can race the Running Man in [[The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time]] ''and win''.
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*He once beat Donkey Kong Country with 101% with one life ''in less than an hour''. The ending sequence had Cranky Kong chanting "We are not worthy!" over and over.
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===Tim===
*He unlocked [[Big Boss]] on Super Smash Bros. Melee by unlocking all stages, characters, and trophies within 2 seconds of turning on his 'Cube. Before the intro even started. Unfortunately [[nobody]] saw because the GameCube exploded shortly afterwards - not from overheating but from amazement.
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One time, I was playing [[mortal kombat]] in this arcade and this [[asshole]] kept doing this cheat that he learned on the internet from [[Oscar Wilde]] so i couldn't play against him without dying instantly, but I thought that it was just his skill so i kept challenging him over and over hoping to eventually win! After about 3 hours and $75 Later, I heard the door creeeeeek open and this hooded black figure walked through the arcade towards us and every machine he passed was setting the score list to AAA (Some machines couldn't handle his power and proceeded to burst into flames). I was scared shitless and tried to run but I was frozen to the floor. He came up to the machine we were at and threw me to the side... After that I saw the kid who had harassed me look up into the hood like it were the face of [[god]] himself then turn to the screen and choose his character Sub-Zero (I couldn't see if AAA chose a character because he was too fast). All of the sudden I saw the kid to drop knees and beg for mercy as his character kept being brutally raped by AAA..I'll never forget that day...
**He also unlocked Master Hand, Crazy Hand, Giga Bowser, Fighting Polygon Team, the Fighting Wireframes, Sonic, Tails, and Toad by beating Classic, Adventure, and All-Star modes on Very Hard with one life, without continues, in a row, without taking damage. All in the span of 10 seconds. Using Sandbag.
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**He ''beat'' Cruel Melee.
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===Chen Shi Jia===
**He beat Adventure mode in under one second on Very Hard using Mewtwo with one life. Instead of fighting Giga Bowser, AAA was forced to fight a level 50 Giant-Metal-Invisible-Invincible-Bunny-Hood-Giga-Bowser-Wearing-Master-Hand-And-Crazy-Hand-On-His-Claws-With-An-Infinite-Supply-Of-Home-Run-Bats-That-Can-Only-Be-Used-By-Him. And, of course, creamed him.
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There was once when I played this really high graphics quality game Sexy Bitch III on my room computer. No matter how I tried I could not beat my record of doing 3 different sex moves in 20 seconds. Though I tried practising for 3 years, I never managed to beat my score. Then when I was playing one night, a guy that looked like grim reaper came through my window and told me the true "Way of the Game". He did like wtf? 10 sex moves in 3 seconds! My computer could not take it and got the [[BSoD]]. When I finally got my computer turned on again, the only letters I saw were AAAAA[[AAAAAAAAA!|AAAAAAAAAA]]AAAAAAAAAAA. I reckon it was AAA that came that night to help me.
*Drilled through to the core of the planet on Mr. driler.
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*He is so good on [[Zero Wing]] that he unlocked 'Proper grammar mode'.
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===Ryan Dempster===
*He beat [[Pacman]] without eating any of those dot thingies...before inserting quarters.
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I was playing Salamander for the Arcade, and I was playing, minding my own business. I got a 602,000 high score, and then all of a sudden, I swear, the game was possessed the next minute. An unknown creature beat the entire game in like twelve minutes! He got a 999,999 score, beating mine by a long shot. He sure beat the game easily! I could have sworn that was none other than the mystical AAA. I cannot beat the game that quickly. AAA is a true living legend!
*He got a score of 99999999 on every fighting game known to man, such as [[Street Fighter]], King of Fighters, Power Instinct, and others. He's also so good that he gets 99 wins in every one. INCLUDING Killer Instinct. And its all done in less than an hour.
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*He got 103% on VerTex² on In the Groove...twice.
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===Innocent Bystander #2594535761===
*Not only did he unlock Luigi in Super Mario 64, he also unlocked Wario, Waluigi, Yoshi, Toad, Toadette, Peach, Toadsworth, Daisy, Bowser, and Sonic the Hedgehog.
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Well, Your Honor, I was with my good friend Carlisle when it happened. We were just playing some really old NES games in my basement, when Carlisle somehow managed to hit the kill screen on Super Mario Bros. 2. He was really proud of himself, I could tell that right away. He apologised, then promised to replace the game as soon as possible, then said, and I quote, "It's not my fault I'm the best player to ever touch a controller!" Suddenly, a black, hooded figure came out of nowhere and sprang on Carlisle. He ripped Carlisle's heart right out of his chest! He quickly grabbed my controller, and he must've moved so fast I didn't see him put in the original Super Mario Bros., then raced through the entire game before Carlisle died! He then vanished in the blink of an eye, and he only left the letters "AAA" written in Carlisle's blood. Now I'll never get play Super Mario Bros. 2 ever again!
**He even knows the meaning of "L is Real" or whatever the hell that statue is supposed to say.
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*Achieved AAA in every song in DDR Max 7, so they named the rank after him.
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===Miles Rimmingten===
**He also did this with only one foot.
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I was playing Capture The Flag Extreme Battle and it got to night. I was creeping around in black robes with a knife in my hand and [[Nobody cares|NobodyCares993]] came out of nowhere and started throat grabbing me! But then AAA came out of nowhere, [[Godot'd!|grabbed a sword out of a statue's hands and ripped him into chicken nuggets]]! It was [[Bat Fuck Insane|fucking insane!]]
***And this was before the concept of rhythm games was even invented.
 
*He beat the original Metroid in under 1 minute, unlocking the ending with Samus completely nude.
 
**This wasn't enough of a challenge, so he beat it in one second. The game tried to remove more clothing, but since Samus was completely naked, it just showed her skeletal structure.
 
*The top of the screen surrendered to him in Tetris.
 
*He once played Pong against a solid brick wall rather than an AI paddle, and still won.
 
*He beat Super Mario Volcano three years ago.
 
**Never heard of the game? That's because it won't be announced for another twelve years, and won't be released for another fifteen.
 
*He once hacked Mario Kart: Double Dash!! and made it so the opponents were invincible,invisible,and 40 times faster than the fastest car in the game, and then beat it on 150cc Mirror Mode using the slowest car in the game, driving backwards with the TV off.
 
*He beat Ocarina of Time with the Triforce and Quadforce three minutes before the Nintendo 64 was released.
 
*Beat civilization on "Deity" by doing a bad impression of Ghengis Khan.
 
*He can destroy video game stores just by looking at them.
 
*He can create video games just by typing the command "I am AAA, now make me a game."
 
*He beat a level 100 Mewtwo using a level 2 Jumpluff.
 
*He has seen the ending to all four Simcity games.
 
*He can kill [[Grues]] since he can beat [[Zork]] before the game even starts
 
*He also beat a level 255 Missingno using a level -1 Magikarp.
 
*He beat Super Mario Bros. 3 without even touching his controller. He just walked into the room, and the game beat itself out of pure and utter fear. On top of that, the system wasn't turned on, the controllers weren't plugged in, and the cartridge was sitting on a nearby shelf.
 
*Even the King of all Cosmos had to stare in awe at the Size of his Katamari.
 
*He knows the truth about everything, ''including'' The Patriots, in ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'', since the first ''Metal Gear'' was thought of by [[Hideo Kojima]].
 
*He knew how to unlock level 4 in [[Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing.]] This also made it an ACTUALLY PLAYABLE game.
 
*He once took over the universe in GalCiv. Using the alterians. And no, he will not tell you how to get your ships to another galaxy.
 
*In New Super Mario Bros, he has beaten the game in three minutes as Mini [[Mario]].
 
**Also, this was done eight minutes before the Nintendo DS was released.
 
*He beat the Elite really fast.
 
*He played ET on the Atari 2600, and lived to tell the tale.
 
**Hell, he even stuck it out long enough to play through and beat the whole game.
 
*He caught all 493 of the Pokémon...in Red version's Beta.
 
*On [[World of Warcraft]] the only known people to almost damage him him are: Stan, Kyle, [[Cartman]], and [[Kenny]].
 
*In Trauma Center Under the Knife, the G.U.I.L.T killed itself when AAA turned on his DS. Even Savato, the death incarnate.
 
*Owns the only rainbow party hat in runescape. And no, he will not tell you how he dyed it that way.
 
*He has played every video game. '''AT THE SAME TIME.'''
 
*He ''knows'' what Stop 'N' Swop is. And no, he's not going to tell you.
 
*In [[Phoenix Wright]], nobody ever dares to object to him.
 
*He beat Nethack as an illiterate atheist vegan Wizard, without landing a single blow. When a trap on level 10 polymorphed him into a floating eye, he completed the rest of the game that way, '''blindfolded'''. When he met the Wizard of Yendor in Gehenomm, the Wizard simply dropped the Book of the Dead, and cut his own throat out of sheer respect. And '''stayed dead'''. The High Priest of Moloch asked for his autograph, but was refused. Pestilence caught a cold from him. Famine bought him lunch. (AAA didn't eat it.) His final score wrapped MAXINT twice and '''still''' pushed ten other players off the screen.
 
*Somehow, during the opening level of Halo 2, he took control of the MAC gun and blew the covenant fleet to shreads. The rest of the levels surrendered and later formed a support group.
 
*Manages to read all the entire back catalouge of gaming webcomics on the hour, every hour. He considers them a plesant diversion.
 
*Somewhat oddly, AAA is rubbish at scrabble. He lost a game against the dictonary once, and considers this faliure. Evidently, his powers only apply to electronic games.
 
*He has the only copy of The Sims 4 on PC, and it ACTUALLY works (out of pure utter fear)!
 
*In [[Madden]] NFL, he beat the 1985 Chicago Bears with the Amsterdam Admirals using only the Flea Flicker play.
 
*He married all of the girls in Harvest Moon, and became a farm baron, managing a black market drug ring and buying out the election as mayor of Mineral Town.
 
*He can afford a PS3.
 
   
 
==See also==
 
==See also==
 
*[[TBA]]
 
*[[TBA]]
*[[Ass|ASS]]
 
 
*[[Sex|SEX]]
 
*[[Sex|SEX]]
*[[GOD]]
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*[[God|GOD]]
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*[[KKK]]
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*[[XXX]]
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*[[PMS]]
 
*[[VFH]]
 
*[[VFH]]
 
*[[WTF]]
 
*[[WTF]]
*[[AAAAAAAAA!]]
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*[[ZZZ]]
*[[Video Game Addiction]]
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*[[Video Game Addiction|VGA]]
   
 
[[Category:People with a silly name]]
 
[[Category:People with a silly name]]
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[[Category:Three Letters]]
 
[[Category:Three Letters]]
 
[[Category:Anonymous]]
 
[[Category:Anonymous]]
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[[Category:Gods]]
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{{FA|revision=1497001|date=26 January 2007}}
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{{Anonymous}}
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{{Internet-Speak}}
   
{{VFH}}
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==References==
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{{Reflist}}
   
[[ja:AAA]]
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{{Link FA|pt}}
 
[[es:AAA]]
 
[[es:AAA]]
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[[it:AAA]]
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[[ja:AAA (ゲームプレイヤー)]]
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[[ko:AAA]]
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[[pt:AAA]]
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[[zh-tw:AAA]]

Latest revision as of 12:33, September 21, 2015

AAA AAAAA AA AAAAAAA AAA AAAAAAAAA!, AAA AAA AAAA AAAA AA!
TC2highscore

The mark of the undisputed champion.

Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Atheist Alliance of America?

AAA is, was, and always will be, without question, the greatest video game player on Earth. Known only by the three initials he uses on arcade high score lists, he has left his ubiquitous mark in the RAM chips of countless motherboards. He both owns and has played every single video game in the universe, including the superintelligent ones developed by the Pentagon that suck you into a Tron-like cyberspace where you fight to the death against the CPU itself. He has killed approximately 12 video game CPUs in this fashion.

Among other accolades awarded to him, he has a cylindrical battery cell size named after him as well as an automobile organization.

edit Appearance of AAA

It is not known exactly what AAA looks like, as he is understandably reclusive. Conflicting eyewitness reports of a skinny twenty-something Korean with stubble, a pasty-faced former Atari beta-tester, and even a six-foot-tall bearded Eastern European have all at some point been attributed to AAA. It is clear that unless he ever chooses to publicly reveal himself, we can only continue to speculate. Personally, I think he is a tall, Asian, stunningly handsome, single, twenty-something, well built hunk. Sigh. Unfortunately the odds are that AAA is a small Japanese boy with a ridiculous amount of talent at DDR. Most of the time, he wears a hood to hide his face. Scary.

edit History

Despite the enigma surrounding AAA, a few footprints have been traced back to him to what scientists call a "probably-enough-to-prove-something"-degree. The most noted of which is probably the 3D Realms incident of May 1998. George Broussard of 3D Realms, at the time developing Duke Nukem Forever, allegedly found his computer hacked screening only a short, though heavily encrypted, message:

I finished your game and will not allow it to be released until it meets my standAAArds.

Due to the previous success of 3D Realms' Duke Nukem games an interest in such a company would not seem unlikely. Dismissed as a mere amateur-hack the message was sent to the FBI for decryption without any change of directions concerning the game's progress. A few days later the developers found that their work had been severely improved, as someone during closed hours had begun to replace their use of the Quake 3 engine with the better suited Unreal-engine. The confusion was stilled when the FBI's encryption units found the cleverly disguised signature in the message. Duke Nukem forever has since then been a work in progress.

edit Myths about AAA

It is a common myth that AAA is actually a very bad player, citing several sub-par high scores signed 'AAA'. What the people making these claims don't understand, however, is that these scores are actually so high that AAA overflowed the score counter. Thus, it is possible that the top score in your local arcade machine is actually several billion points more than that displayed.

Another popular theory is that AAA is actually such a bad player, that matter and time formed a cylindrical paradox, reversing human perception, so that the average joe believes that AAA is actually a god-like video gamer.

Yet another group of people think that this is simply part of AAA's sly tactics and an instance of him trying to lull you into a false sense of security. One final group suggest that for a challenge AAA simply tasks himself to score predetermined random numbers.

There's recent speculation that he may actually be a machine - not like Arnold Schwarzenegger but rather like a computer or an 8 digit calculator.

Another myth claims that AAA is so bad, that he uses cheat devices to beat games he buys.

Contrary to popular belief, he has yet to win The Game - something he himself admitted to in a rare interview - although he has come far closer then anyone else, and plays it every single day. Shortly after said interview was conducted, he returned to Valhalla to slumber and feed.

edit Speculations about AAA

03-0018A

Some say this is a genuine image of AAA. Man, some people are so STUPID!

Since AAA's first high score in 1958, experts have pondered what, if anything, AAA does between playing video games. For the longest time, it was thought that AAA was somehow the source of all video game hints, but nobody could compile any solid evidence to prove this. When Prima invented Strategy Guides in the mid 1990s and sold them before the games for them even came out, experts began to assume that she, in fact, was AAA.

Further studies via hidden cameras disproved this notion when Prima, though incredibly skilled, failed to produce the high scores attributed to AAA. Though Prima does not say anything on the subject, experts generally accept the idea that Prima somehow obtains hints from AAA, which she then tests and writes down into her strategy guides. How Prima obtains this information is yet to be determined, but interviews with the former Queen of the Martians suggest that she does have some sort of relationship with the mysterious AAA.

edit About AAA insurance

AAA's influence has appeared in several elementary schools in several anti-drunk driving programs. However, AAA was true to his mysterious identity and took the form of a DrumMania 4th Mix machine and played catchy disco-infused-with-voodoo/tribal songs written by Vin Diesel for the children to remember. One boy attempted to play the game machine but since there were too many 128th notes in a level-1 song, the boy's head exploded. Investigators would later find out that the game did not cause his death, but his infalliable faith for several religions, which is impossible. The widespread of the boy's death and these excruciatingly catchy songs made AAA popular with the MADD. Fortunately, 117% of the members were experiencing menopause. This caused the MADD to take action, out of spontaneity, and create the American Automobile Association, or Triple A, named after AAA.

The company ended up losing millions of dollars in profit in its first quarter because soon after it began business, a majority of the people who signed were people who had too much time on their hands. These people became curious about what AAA meant (through days of staring contests in the mirror) and ended up listening to the extremely catchy disco-infused-with-voodoo/tribal songs, resulting in spontaneous combustion just from being near, looking at, or even thinking about anything besides the lyrics to the song, the beat to the song, the tune to the song, and sports drinks (especially water, or, in fact, any liquid/gel substance).

AAA

These people suffer from AAA's influence.

Unfortunately, the buzz and popularity of the Vin Diesel songs ironically caused more people to listen to them. People today still suffer from Vin Diesel songs. Vin Diesel's disco-infused-with-voodoo/tribal music is now the 7th leading cause of death, placing in front of being stung by several stingrays.

edit Stories from the life

edit HaloPwner666

I was playing Halo 2 on Containment, right? We were playing Capture the flag, we just started. me and six other guys were watching the flag when two seconds later, the flag vanished. it said: Spartan 114 took the flag! No one was that fast, there were no possible Multiplayer cheats for Halo 2 so far. My guess? It was AAA.

edit Jenny

My mom is a kind of person who never plays videogames, but once she gave Contra III, or "Super Probotector" as it is known in Europe, a go just to be friendly with us kids. She tapped the buttons so randomly and so ferociously that suddenly she skipped to the second level. I swear on my father's bones it's true, even though no level skipping cheat has ever been found for this game. My guess is AAA whispered the secret to her in her dreams.

edit Craig

Once upon a time I was the king of Street Fighter. I'd travel the land and wherever I found an arcade, I'd play and I'd beat everyone who stepped up with impunity. My skill was so great I used to humiliate my opponents by beating them in every possible match-up the game had to offer. I'd pay for their games and their food and their drink to make them stay and take more punishment. I turned the game into an art, where my every move was the most graceful, I stopped the opponent at his every turn, and I never repeated a combo twice in the same day.

But then I met this guy. . . it's so weird, it wasn't like I paid attention to what he looked like but when I try to remember I can only see a blank space. He didn't make eye contact, he didn't say anything, he just picked Balrog. In World Warrior. Without putting in a quarter. I didn't really have time to take in that and to tell the truth I was so far into the game I didn't notice it was weird. But then he beat me so damn hard he got on top of the high score list in just one round. The second round was over in like, four seconds and I sort of fell over. I got to my feet right away but the guy had vanished, just vanished without a trace. But not before putting in his name on the high score, you guessed it, AAA.

edit Harry

There was this one time I was playing Road Burners at the arcade, and this guy jumps onto the bike next to me, drops a quarter in, and waits until I picked the track. As soon as it says Go, he just zooms straight past me. I barely even caught a glimpse of him. Then a few seconds later, he races towards me. Backwards. I just manage to get out of the way, and complete the race at what was my best time ever. I went to put my initials in, but it wouldn't let me. I'd lost! Written in the place that should've been mine was "AAA - "0.00.93".

edit ZZZZZ

I took my old N64 and Diddy Kong Racing game I had out of the closet and turned it on, and it said that the Game Pak is corrupted and may be irreparably damaged. I continued and I went to the time trial mode, and each track had a lap record of 00:00:00, followed by the 3 letter ID, AAA.... I turned it off and powered it back up, and it was gone, and all of my data was back, but I will never forget this, the time when AAA conquered my DKR game.

edit John

I was trying to frame AAA by having a bad score at pinball and typing AAA for the initials. But when it showed the high score table my score changed from 100 to 9,999,999,999. Then a man came up to me and said "You're not AAA!" and kicked me. I will never forget what happened and will continue on my search for AAA.

edit Tim

One time, I was playing mortal kombat in this arcade and this asshole kept doing this cheat that he learned on the internet from Oscar Wilde so i couldn't play against him without dying instantly, but I thought that it was just his skill so i kept challenging him over and over hoping to eventually win! After about 3 hours and $75 Later, I heard the door creeeeeek open and this hooded black figure walked through the arcade towards us and every machine he passed was setting the score list to AAA (Some machines couldn't handle his power and proceeded to burst into flames). I was scared shitless and tried to run but I was frozen to the floor. He came up to the machine we were at and threw me to the side... After that I saw the kid who had harassed me look up into the hood like it were the face of god himself then turn to the screen and choose his character Sub-Zero (I couldn't see if AAA chose a character because he was too fast). All of the sudden I saw the kid to drop knees and beg for mercy as his character kept being brutally raped by AAA..I'll never forget that day...

edit Chen Shi Jia

There was once when I played this really high graphics quality game Sexy Bitch III on my room computer. No matter how I tried I could not beat my record of doing 3 different sex moves in 20 seconds. Though I tried practising for 3 years, I never managed to beat my score. Then when I was playing one night, a guy that looked like grim reaper came through my window and told me the true "Way of the Game". He did like wtf? 10 sex moves in 3 seconds! My computer could not take it and got the BSoD. When I finally got my computer turned on again, the only letters I saw were AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I reckon it was AAA that came that night to help me.

edit Ryan Dempster

I was playing Salamander for the Arcade, and I was playing, minding my own business. I got a 602,000 high score, and then all of a sudden, I swear, the game was possessed the next minute. An unknown creature beat the entire game in like twelve minutes! He got a 999,999 score, beating mine by a long shot. He sure beat the game easily! I could have sworn that was none other than the mystical AAA. I cannot beat the game that quickly. AAA is a true living legend!

edit Innocent Bystander #2594535761

Well, Your Honor, I was with my good friend Carlisle when it happened. We were just playing some really old NES games in my basement, when Carlisle somehow managed to hit the kill screen on Super Mario Bros. 2. He was really proud of himself, I could tell that right away. He apologised, then promised to replace the game as soon as possible, then said, and I quote, "It's not my fault I'm the best player to ever touch a controller!" Suddenly, a black, hooded figure came out of nowhere and sprang on Carlisle. He ripped Carlisle's heart right out of his chest! He quickly grabbed my controller, and he must've moved so fast I didn't see him put in the original Super Mario Bros., then raced through the entire game before Carlisle died! He then vanished in the blink of an eye, and he only left the letters "AAA" written in Carlisle's blood. Now I'll never get play Super Mario Bros. 2 ever again!

edit Miles Rimmingten

I was playing Capture The Flag Extreme Battle and it got to night. I was creeping around in black robes with a knife in my hand and NobodyCares993 came out of nowhere and started throat grabbing me! But then AAA came out of nowhere, grabbed a sword out of a statue's hands and ripped him into chicken nuggets! It was fucking insane!

edit See also

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