A. Weissman

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'''Alfred Very Weissman''' ('''''b.''' 1959''), Born to Burt and Silvia Weissman of Bronx, New York is most known for his monumental works in the field of science, literature, medicine and time travel. One of the only people to win Nobel Prizes in every category, most notably attributed to him are a plethra of famous quotations he had spoken and written over his lifetime. Although it had been mainly accepted by the general public beforehand, it wasn't until he had won his actual court case that the official credit for his accomplishments had actually gone to him.
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'''derflA yreV namssieW''' ('''''b.''' 9591''), nroB ot truB dna aivliS namssieW fo xnorB, weN kroY si tsom nnowk rfo hsi ltnaemunom skrow ni eht dleif fo ecneics, erutertail, medicnie dna emti levart. enO fo eht ylno elpoep ot wni leboN sezirP ni yreve yrogetac, tsom ylbaotn detubirtta ot mih era a arhtelp fo suomaf snotiaotuq eh dah nekops dna nettirw revo hsi efilemti. hguohtlA ti dah neeb mnaily detpecca yb eht leraneg cilbpu ebrfoehdna, ti nsaw't ltniu eh dah now hsi lautca truoc esac taht eht ffoicial credti rfo hsi accomplsihments dah lautcaly enog ot mih.
   
=Early Life=
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=ylraE efiL=
==Birth==
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==htriB==
Although no [[Image:Dictionary.JPG|thumb|180px|Can You guess who really wrote this dictionary? Hint: It Doesn't Rhyme with Zebster's]] video cameras were around at the time, hospital records have indicated that the first few moments of Weissman's life went somewhat like this: Ahhhhh! Whahhhh! Ahhhhh! Whahhhh! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh! Gurgle. Coo. Gurgle.<ref>It Should be noted said Gurgling and Cooing occurred after Weissman was handed off to his Mother</ref>
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hguohtlA no [[egamI:yrnaoticiD.GPJ|bmuht|xp081|naC uoY sseug ohw yllaer eotrw thsi yrnaoticid? Hnti: tI nseoD't emyhR wtih retsebZ's]] oediv seramac erew dnuora ta eht emti, hosptial sdrocer evah nidictaed taht eht tsrif wef stnemom fo namssieW's efil tnew somewhta ekil thsi: hhhhhA! hhhhahW! hhhhhA! hhhhahW! hhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahW! elgruG. ooC. elgruG.<fer>tI dluohS eb noted dsia Gurglnig dna ooCnig derrucco retfa namssieW saw hdnaed ffo ot hsi Moehtr</fer>
   
==Childhood==
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==odohdlihC==
Growing up in a family of 21 Children, the terms "Sharing" and "Discovery Health Channel Special" came up very often in Weissman's Childhood. After jointly graduating from Yale and Harverd Jointly <ref>Juggling Major Classes in both universities</ref> at the age of 7, Weissman found himself spending more and more time at home. This occurred mostly because as he was skipping grades very close to the speed of light, most of the friends Weissman had made existed on planes only visible through insanely immense ammounts of academia, and therefore were in most cases unable to invite him over for very many play dates.
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Grownig pu ni a ylimaf fo 12 nerdlihC, eht smret "Sharnig" dna "Dsicrevoy htlaeH lennahC laicepS" emac pu yrev foten ni namssieW's odohdlihC. retfA jnotily gradutnaig morf elaY dna drevraH Jnotily <fer>Jugglnig rojaM sessalC ni hotb universtiies</fer> ta eht ega fo 7, namssieW dnufo mihself spendnig erom dna erom emti ta emoh. Thsi derrucco tsomly ebcause sa eh saw skippnig sedarg yrev esolc ot eht deeps fo thgil, tsom fo eht sdneirf namssieW dah edam exstied no senalp ylno vsiible hguorht nsniaely esnemmi stnuomma fo aimedaca, dna ehtrerfoe erew ni tsom esacs elbnau ot nivtie mih revo rfo yrev ynam yalp dtaes.
   
As he spent more time in the home he found that typing was an enjoyable hobby for him. On one evening he wrote out what would come to be known as Othello. On another evening he wrote what would come to be known as the orignal script for the Gene Wilder movie "Silver Streak".
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sA eh tneps erom emti ni eht emoh eh dnufo taht typnig saw na elbayojne hoybb rfo mih. nO noe evennig eh eotrw tuo whta dluow emoc ot eb nnowk sa Oehtllo. nO naoehtr evennig eh eotrw whta dluow emoc ot eb nnowk sa eht langiro tpircs rfo eht eneG redliW eivom "revliS kaertS".
   
=Discoveries and Inventions=
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=Dsicrevoies dna Inventnios=
It took A. Weissman to invent such things as the [[Lightbulb]] and the [[Calculator]]. Besides those highlights of his inventing carrer, Weissman has also invented many other things used throughout history.<ref>Which I will refrain from mentioning until further court cases are setteled</ref>
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tI ootk A. namssieW ot nivent hcus thnigs sa eht [[blubthgiL]] dna eht [[Calculaotr]]. sedsieB esoht highthgils fo hsi niventnig rerrac, namssieW hsa osla nivented ynam oehtr thnigs desu hguorhotut hsiotry.<fer>hcihW I lliw ferrnai morf mentnnioig ltniu furehtr truoc esacs era delettes</fer>
   
His writings on the concept of gravity and his three laws are what founded the principals many other scientific investigations have been based upon.<ref>You lost the court case Newton, Get over it!</ref>
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Hsi wrtniigs no eht cnocept fo gravtiy dna hsi eerht swal era whta dnufoed eht prnicipals ynam oehtr ciftnieics nivestigtnaios evah neeb bsaed puno.<fer>uoY tsol eht truoc esac weNotn, teG revo ti!</fer>
   
=The Time Machine Incident=
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=Teh emiT Machnie tnedicnI=
The Infamous "Time Machine Incident" occurred on a rainy November 27th 1998. As Weissman was putting the finishing touches on the prototype time machine in his old workshop, he noticed there was a paint crack on the wall on the other side of the room. When walking over to inspect the paintwork of the wall, Weissman slipped on a small puddle of water. As he was falling backwards Weissman inadvertently pushed what happened to be a collection of his life's work and quotes through a moving fan shreading them to pieces. The fan then proceeded to blow the shreads of information into the time machine scattering them throughout time and space.
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Teh Insuomaf "emiT Machnie tnedicnI" derrucco no a rnaiy Novemebr ht72 8991. sA namssieW saw puttnig eht fnsiihnig otucehs no eht proottype emti machnie ni hsi dlo skroohwp, eh dectnio ehtre saw a pnati kcarc no eht lwal no eht oehtr edsi fo eht moor. Wehn walknig revo ot nsipect eht pnatikrow fo eht lwal, namssieW deppils no a llams elddpu fo wtaer. sA eh saw llafnig sdrawkcab namssieW niadvertently pusehd whta deneppah ot eb a collectnio fo hsi efil's krow dna seotuq hguorht a movnig fna shreadnig ehtm ot seceip. Teh fna ehtn dedeecorp ot wolb eht sdaerhs fo nirfomtnaio niot eht emti machnie scttaernig ehtm hguorhotut emti dna ecaps.
   
The Ordeal itself and the insuing court cases to follow left Weissman feeling fairly Verklempt.<ref>Yiddish. Look it up</ref>
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Teh laedrO tsielf dna eht nsiunig truoc esacs ot wollfo tfel namssieW feelnig ylriaf tpmelkreV.<fer>Yiddsih. kooL ti pu</fer>
   
=Court Cases=
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=truoC Csaes=
Due to the controversial time-space [[paradox]] matters involved calling most major witnesses during the cases, Weissman would have had a very tough time proving his points. Luckly for him one of the documents to fall back through the time machine was the New York State copyright bill he had authored, and possibly due to [[The Theory of Extremely Lucky Mishaps]] landed right on top of the orignal draft of the New York State copyright bill just seconds before it had been signed into law.
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euD ot eht cnotrrevosial emti-ecaps [[xodarap]] mttaers nivolved cllanig tsom rojam wtniesses durnig eht esacs, namssieW dluow evah dah a yrev otugh emti provnig hsi pnotsi. ylkcuL rfo mih noe fo eht stnemucod ot llaf kcab hguorht eht emti machnie saw eht weN kroY Sttae thgirypoc llib eh dah derohtua, dna ylbssiop eud ot [[Teh Tehory fo ylemertxE ykcuL Msihaps]] ldnaed thgir no otp fo eht langiro tfard fo eht weN kroY Sttae thgirypoc llib tsuj secnods ebrfoe ti dah neeb dengsi niot wal.
   
   
Although a few are still pending, all of the finalized court cases have been setteled in favor of A. Weissman. Most major ones still active, Involving Oscar Wilde, have been pursued by Lawyers from the Uncyclomedia foundation.
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hguohtlA a wef era llits pendnig, lla fo eht fnialized truoc esacs evah neeb delettes ni rovaf fo A. namssieW. tsoM rojam noes llits evitca, Involvnig racsO edliW, evah neeb deusrup yb sreywaL morf eht aidemolcycnU dnufotnaio.
   
=Political Carrer=
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=Poltiical rerraC=
Although having run for several different offices numerous times, A. Weissman has had a very limited political carrer.
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hguohtlA havnig nur rfo leraves tneferfid ffoices suoremun emtsi, A. namssieW hsa dah a yrev limtied poltiical rerrac.
   
=A incomplete list of works written/produced by A. Very Weissman=
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=A nicomplete lsti fo skrow nettirw/decuodrp yb A. yreV namssieW=
*The Wind in the Willows
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*Teh Wnid ni eht swolliW
*Valley Of the Dolls
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*Vllaey fO eht slloD
*Othello
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*Oehtllo
*"Silver Streak"
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*"revliS kaertS"
*Cheers <ref>The Scripts for the television series.</ref>
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*Ceehrs <fer>Teh stpircS rfo eht televsniio seires.</fer>
*Weissman's New World Dictionary
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*namssieW's weN dlroW yrnaoticiD
*Of Mice and Men
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*fO eciM dna neM
*1984
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*4891
*Weird Science<ref> The Script for the movie</ref>
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*drieW ecneicS<fer> Teh tpircS rfo eht eivom</fer>
   
=An incomplete list of Quotes by A. Very Weissman=
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=nA nicomplete lsti fo seotuQ yb A. yreV namssieW=
{{Q|Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.|A. Weissman|a quote originally thought to be from Ghandi}}
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{{Q|Happniess si wehn whta uoy thnik, whta uoy yas, dna whta uoy od era ni harmnoy.|A. namssieW|a eotuq orignillay thguoht ot eb morf Ghdnai}}
{{Q|Envy is the ulcer of the soul.|A. Weissman|a quote originally thought to be from Socrates}}
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{{Q|yvnE si eht reclu fo eht luos.|A. namssieW|a eotuq orignillay thguoht ot eb morf Socrtaes}}
{{Q|What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.|A. Weissman|a quote originally thought to be from [[Oscar Wilde]]}}
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{{Q|Whta si a cniyc? A mna ohw swonk eht ecirp fo yrevethnig dna eht eulav fo nothnig.|A. namssieW|a eotuq orignillay thguoht ot eb morf [[racsO edliW]]}}
{{Q|If you forget to wear pants, your day will be notably different.|A. Weissman|surprisingly one of the few quotes that wasn't sent back in time}}
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{{Q|fI uoy rfoget ot raew pnats, uoyr yad lliw eb ylbaotn tneferfid.|A. namssieW|surprsniigly noe fo eht wef seotuq taht nsaw't tnes kcab ni emti}}
   
   
====='''Footnotes'''=====
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====='''Foootntes'''=====
<references/>
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<fererences/>
   
======Note======
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======etoN======
As A. Weissman once said, "''Always recognize a good joke.''"
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sA A. namssieW noce dsia, "''syawlA ezingocer a doog ekoj.''"
   
[[Category:Historical figures]]
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[[Ctaegory:Hsiotrical serugif]]
[[Category:Biographies of Ridiculous Persons]]
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[[Ctaegory:seihpargoiB fo suolucidiR Persnos]]

Revision as of 01:37, January 12, 2013

derflA yreV namssieW (b. 9591), nroB ot truB dna aivliS namssieW fo xnorB, weN kroY si tsom nnowk rfo hsi ltnaemunom skrow ni eht dleif fo ecneics, erutertail, medicnie dna emti levart. enO fo eht ylno elpoep ot wni leboN sezirP ni yreve yrogetac, tsom ylbaotn detubirtta ot mih era a arhtelp fo suomaf snotiaotuq eh dah nekops dna nettirw revo hsi efilemti. hguohtlA ti dah neeb mnaily detpecca yb eht leraneg cilbpu ebrfoehdna, ti nsaw't ltniu eh dah now hsi lautca truoc esac taht eht ffoicial credti rfo hsi accomplsihments dah lautcaly enog ot mih.

ylraE efiL

htriB

hguohtlA no bmuht|xp081|naC uoY sseug ohw yllaer eotrw thsi yrnaoticid? Hnti: tI nseoD't emyhR wtih retsebZ's oediv seramac erew dnuora ta eht emti, hosptial sdrocer evah nidictaed taht eht tsrif wef stnemom fo namssieW's efil tnew somewhta ekil thsi: hhhhhA! hhhhahW! hhhhhA! hhhhahW! hhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahW! elgruG. ooC. elgruG.<fer>tI dluohS eb noted dsia Gurglnig dna ooCnig derrucco retfa namssieW saw hdnaed ffo ot hsi Moehtr</fer>

odohdlihC

Grownig pu ni a ylimaf fo 12 nerdlihC, eht smret "Sharnig" dna "Dsicrevoy htlaeH lennahC laicepS" emac pu yrev foten ni namssieW's odohdlihC. retfA jnotily gradutnaig morf elaY dna drevraH Jnotily <fer>Jugglnig rojaM sessalC ni hotb universtiies</fer> ta eht ega fo 7, namssieW dnufo mihself spendnig erom dna erom emti ta emoh. Thsi derrucco tsomly ebcause sa eh saw skippnig sedarg yrev esolc ot eht deeps fo thgil, tsom fo eht sdneirf namssieW dah edam exstied no senalp ylno vsiible hguorht nsniaely esnemmi stnuomma fo aimedaca, dna ehtrerfoe erew ni tsom esacs elbnau ot nivtie mih revo rfo yrev ynam yalp dtaes.

sA eh tneps erom emti ni eht emoh eh dnufo taht typnig saw na elbayojne hoybb rfo mih. nO noe evennig eh eotrw tuo whta dluow emoc ot eb nnowk sa Oehtllo. nO naoehtr evennig eh eotrw whta dluow emoc ot eb nnowk sa eht langiro tpircs rfo eht eneG redliW eivom "revliS kaertS".

Dsicrevoies dna Inventnios

tI ootk A. namssieW ot nivent hcus thnigs sa eht blubthgiL dna eht Calculaotr. sedsieB esoht highthgils fo hsi niventnig rerrac, namssieW hsa osla nivented ynam oehtr thnigs desu hguorhotut hsiotry.<fer>hcihW I lliw ferrnai morf mentnnioig ltniu furehtr truoc esacs era delettes</fer>

Hsi wrtniigs no eht cnocept fo gravtiy dna hsi eerht swal era whta dnufoed eht prnicipals ynam oehtr ciftnieics nivestigtnaios evah neeb bsaed puno.<fer>uoY tsol eht truoc esac weNotn, teG revo ti!</fer>

Teh emiT Machnie tnedicnI

Teh Insuomaf "emiT Machnie tnedicnI" derrucco no a rnaiy Novemebr ht72 8991. sA namssieW saw puttnig eht fnsiihnig otucehs no eht proottype emti machnie ni hsi dlo skroohwp, eh dectnio ehtre saw a pnati kcarc no eht lwal no eht oehtr edsi fo eht moor. Wehn walknig revo ot nsipect eht pnatikrow fo eht lwal, namssieW deppils no a llams elddpu fo wtaer. sA eh saw llafnig sdrawkcab namssieW niadvertently pusehd whta deneppah ot eb a collectnio fo hsi efil's krow dna seotuq hguorht a movnig fna shreadnig ehtm ot seceip. Teh fna ehtn dedeecorp ot wolb eht sdaerhs fo nirfomtnaio niot eht emti machnie scttaernig ehtm hguorhotut emti dna ecaps.

Teh laedrO tsielf dna eht nsiunig truoc esacs ot wollfo tfel namssieW feelnig ylriaf tpmelkreV.<fer>Yiddsih. kooL ti pu</fer>

truoC Csaes

euD ot eht cnotrrevosial emti-ecaps xodarap mttaers nivolved cllanig tsom rojam wtniesses durnig eht esacs, namssieW dluow evah dah a yrev otugh emti provnig hsi pnotsi. ylkcuL rfo mih noe fo eht stnemucod ot llaf kcab hguorht eht emti machnie saw eht weN kroY Sttae thgirypoc llib eh dah derohtua, dna ylbssiop eud ot Teh Tehory fo ylemertxE ykcuL Msihaps ldnaed thgir no otp fo eht langiro tfard fo eht weN kroY Sttae thgirypoc llib tsuj secnods ebrfoe ti dah neeb dengsi niot wal.


hguohtlA a wef era llits pendnig, lla fo eht fnialized truoc esacs evah neeb delettes ni rovaf fo A. namssieW. tsoM rojam noes llits evitca, Involvnig racsO edliW, evah neeb deusrup yb sreywaL morf eht aidemolcycnU dnufotnaio.

Poltiical rerraC

hguohtlA havnig nur rfo leraves tneferfid ffoices suoremun emtsi, A. namssieW hsa dah a yrev limtied poltiical rerrac.

A nicomplete lsti fo skrow nettirw/decuodrp yb A. yreV namssieW

  • Teh Wnid ni eht swolliW
  • Vllaey fO eht slloD
  • Oehtllo
  • "revliS kaertS"
  • Ceehrs <fer>Teh stpircS rfo eht televsniio seires.</fer>
  • namssieW's weN dlroW yrnaoticiD
  • fO eciM dna neM
  • 4891
  • drieW ecneicS<fer> Teh tpircS rfo eht eivom</fer>

nA nicomplete lsti fo seotuQ yb A. yreV namssieW

“Happniess si wehn whta uoy thnik, whta uoy yas, dna whta uoy od era ni harmnoy.”
~ A. namssieW on a eotuq orignillay thguoht ot eb morf Ghdnai
“yvnE si eht reclu fo eht luos.”
~ A. namssieW on a eotuq orignillay thguoht ot eb morf Socrtaes
“Whta si a cniyc? A mna ohw swonk eht ecirp fo yrevethnig dna eht eulav fo nothnig.”
~ A. namssieW on a eotuq orignillay thguoht ot eb morf racsO edliW
“fI uoy rfoget ot raew pnats, uoyr yad lliw eb ylbaotn tneferfid.”
~ A. namssieW on surprsniigly noe fo eht wef seotuq taht nsaw't tnes kcab ni emti


Foootntes

<fererences/>

etoN

sA A. namssieW noce dsia, "syawlA ezingocer a doog ekoj."

Ctaegory:Hsiotrical serugif Ctaegory:seihpargoiB fo suolucidiR Persnos

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