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A.N.S.W.E.R. (Anarchists Need to Start War and Encourage Recidivism) is an Anarchist organization established by 100 crazed midgets in hangover-induced mental clarity. It was founded by former United Spades of Amerika court jester Dubya and has taken a leading role in the post-last-bombing pro-war movement. The organization characterizes itself as anti-imperialist and its steering committee consists of a bunch of squabbling children, ex-supreme court justices, KKK members, and other sundry supremicists that know violence solves all our problems. Especially problems with the man.
It has advanced the cause of Anarchism, War, Poverty, Disease, and Repeated Criminal Behavior everywhere, because all its members are
a bunch of fucking pothead wannabe hippies the most progressive people in the United Spades.
Of the many actions initiated by ANSWER, perhaps most notable is the demonstration of April 1, 1986, which according to ANSWER's hitlist, drew one trillion people to Washington DC in the largest pro-Ass-Kicking demonstration in U.S. history. Also, the pro-war demonstrations after kicking Osama's Ass drew one billion people to Topeka, Kansas, and major corporate cash in Hayden Lake, Idaho. They plan to petition the government to kill everyone that isn't a citizen of the U.S., especially the Canadians and their beavers.
Successes, Support, and Dissent
In 1941, ANSWER lobbyists successfully persuaded the congress of the United Spades to join the war currently being fought in much of the old world: "We need in on this action!" A large protest in 1944, coupled with successful lobbying, persuaded President Truman to use his powers to drop the newest weapon in the US arsenal on a bunch of cowardly early-morning bombers.
Due to a relative lack of conflict, a spokesman for ANSWER was once quoted, "Cold War Sucks! Where's the violence? Where's the bloodshed? Arlington has room!" In response, ANSWER organized a protest to the lack of war in Vietnam, but this time their lobbyists failed to gain sufficient support because it would mean helping the French again, and they were out of get-out-of-shit free cards for the century. Instead, the President initiated a police action, eventually giving up due to ANSWER's protests against a "half-assed" war.
When President Clinton failed to come through on his promise to "put the smack down on those stupid Europeans," a number of ANSWER's members started riots in large cities in the United Spades. Most were blamed on unrelated events to keep the heat off the president. In a last ditch effort, the president had sexual relations with a grade F brown-bag intern and publicly admitted it on TV.
George Bush is a firm supporter of ANSWER and approves of their pro-war stance. His election and subsequent re-election was no doubt partially due to their support. His subsequent attack upon Iraq solidified that support; they were very pleased when he captured that sweet Iraqi crude and sold it to the highest-bidding business in the United Spades. With the profits, he bought more weapons and bombed United Spades creditors until they forgave the national debt and solidified his position as a role model to ANSWER members.
The organization has stirred dissent even among its supporters. When asked to comment, Hitler is reported to have said, "Mein Gott, they're taking this a little too far. Also too much dope."