A-10 Thunderbolt II

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“Shit, thems not Iraqi”

~ A-10 pilots on a British tank they just blew up.

“YO DAWG WE HEARD YOU LIKE HUGE MOTHERFUCKING GUNS SO WE PUT A HUGE MOTHERFUCKING GUN SO YOU CAN ROAST TURBANHEADS WHILE YOUR DRIVE AND WE PUT ALL OVER THIS BITCH SO YOU CAN SEE THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS DIE FROM THE COMFORT OF YOUR PLANE.”

~ Xzibit on A-10 Thunderbolt II

“Fucking A-10s! Why the fuck cannot they fucking piss off and go fuck themselves, They make Bf2 the most boring piece of shit on the planet.”

~ n00b on A-10 Thunderbolt II

“Rollin out in my A-10, hoes. Niggaz won't know what hit dem, I be flyin tricked out, yo.”

~ Puff Daddy on A-10 Thunderbolt II

“The only thing in the world that can kill a tank... with a machine gun”

~ Mitch on A-10 Thunderbolt II

“OH SHIT!”

~ Terrorist on A-10 Thunderbolt II

“Bring the rain!”

~ U.S. soldiers on A-10 Thunderbolt II

The A-10A Thunderbolt II is a twin-engined, single seat, close air support aircraft in use by the US Air Force. It's primary mission role is that of ground attack, which involves destroying tanks, infantry, buildings, ships, toll booths, stop signs, traffic lights, archangels, crossing guards, alien scorpion robots, "friendly" British tanks in Iraq, terrorists, hippies and anything else that gets in it's fucking way. The A-10 is most commonly known by it's nickname, "Warthog." This name is derived from the fact that like the warthog, the A-10 is ugly, low to the ground, slow, and a seriously mean motherfucker. The British Army regards the A-10 as a 'Shoot on Sight' target, because of the amount of their tanks they've killed. It's hard for them to get a shot off, however, because the A-10 is like Batman- the only time you see it is when it's kicking your ass.

Contents 1 History 2 Durability 3 Huge Motherfucking Gun 4 See also

[edit] History

Following the experiences of the Vietnam war, it was apparent that when it came to the crucial role of close air support, the Air Forces current planes blew. Hard. In Vietnam, many ground attack aircraft (such as the well-liked, but painfully slow A-1 Skyraider) were shot down by the SA-2 surface to air missile, which was the size of a telephone pole, and maneuvered like one. The North Vietnamese, amazed that small fighter aircraft could be taken down by such an unwieldy weapon, decided to save money by mounting rockets on actual telephone poles and firing them into the air. Many other American aircraft were shot down by small arms fire. A few little yellow bastards with AK-47's spraying lead into the air while they shouted "Motherland!" were more often than not capable of taking down a multi-million dollar fighter plane.

In short, it was pathetic.

In response to the problem, the Air Force released a request to 21 companies in 1967 for a ground attack aircraft that could kick some serious commie ass. The R&D department put their heads together and came up with the A-10A Warthog.

[edit] Durability

The A-10 has several remarkable features which make it the best ground attack aircraft in the world. To withstand the ground fire that older, wussier aircraft so often fell victim to, the A-10 was made into an armored beast. The pilot is surrounded by a "bathtub" of titanium armor, and the airframe can withstand hits from armor-piercing and explosive shells of up to 23mm. In addition, the aircraft has double hydraulic systems for the controls, in case one set is shot away. Even if the enemy manages to destroy all of the hydraulics, the terrorist bastards are out of luck, because the aircraft also includes old-fashioned control cables, which allow the pilot to fly the A-10 using his or her own muscle power to move the control cables. This requires incredible strength, but that's no problem, because the only thing bigger then an American's balls are their muscles.

The A-10's construction is meant to allow it to survive the high-danger environment which characterizes the low-altitude modern battlefield environment. In other words, the thing can have one engine blown away and half a wing torn off and keep on flying, or in simpler terms, shoot an engine off, it will fly. Shoot the tail off, it'll fly. Shoot a wing off, it'll fly. Shoot the cockpit off, it'll fly. Shoot 7 missiles at it while firing a mini gun at it for one minute, it'll fly. There ain't a thing on Earth that can shoot this motherfucker down!

Top that.

 Ok. I stepped on a snail the other day and it was missing its head,eyes and part of its shell. 
 However, it still managed to kick me in the groin.

[edit] Huge Motherfucking Gun

“That motherfuckin plane's got a motherfuckin gun!!”

~ Samuel Jackson on A-10 Thunderbolt II

The most important element of the entire aircraft, the Huge Motherfucking Gun is what makes the A-10 a seriously bad-ass bitch. Firing massive 30 millimeter cannon shells at a rate of 70 rounds per fucking second, when the A-10 opens fire with this baby, shit fucking dies.TWICE!

The Huge Motherfucking Gun is capable of penetrating the top and side armor of every known main battle tank in the world, but it is even more effective against terrorist infantry forces in the open. The rag-head fucks usually have just enough time to shit their pants and tell each other that they're boned before a cyclone of high-explosive cannon shells sends their camel-humping asses on a one way trip to meet Allah. It has been noted that Osama Bin Laden has used recovered ordinance from the Huge Motherfucking Gun (Fucking Uranium Cased Krap, FUCK) to insert up his own asshole. He then detonates the FUCK, resulting in an inappropriate farting noise and slow nuclear mutation.

The general all-around applicability of the Huge Motherfucking Gun means that it can be used against targets both friendly and hostile. This is useful, because A-10 pilots will occasionally blow up a British tank or two, just to keep those fucking Limeys on their toes. The Huge Motherfucking Gun has a psychological intimidation value that is not to be underestimated.

This gun is hand-crafted by the techpriests in the deep forges of the USA. It is specially honed to spray unnecessary amouts of ridiculously high caliber ammunition in any given direction (there is no mathematical formula in the world that can predict it). This more often than not results in huge victorious screams from the gibbering monkeys that form the backbone of the USAF and holes in absolutely everything except the intended target. By simply targeting an enemy in the middle of the battlefield, the A-10 and it's gibbering monkey of a pilot can turn the field of engagement into a horror strewn landscape of stygian horror, leaving the unscathed original target, his mind shattered by the unholy sight, to carry the horrendous tale to his comrades.

Although indisputably the most ass-kicking weapon on the aircraft, the Huge Motherfucking Gun is augmented by a huge variety of secondary ordinance, of which the A-10 can carry a shit-load. Included in that ordinance is:

• Mark 82, Mark 83, and Mark 84 general-purpose explodie things
• The feared and fabled Mark 78 F bomb
• Rainbows

[edit] See also

• War
• Plane
• Airplanes
• Air
• Flying