February 5: Peyton Manning does everything including playing in the Super Bowl Day
1678 - Roman king farted on trees.
406 - Peyton Manning sacked by the Central Asian Huns in Super Bowl -MDLXI... wait, that was the Romans... my bad.
1066 - Peyton Manning, king of Normandy, conquers England.
1152 - Peyton Manning almost makes it to Super Bowl -DCCCXV but he loses the AFC Championship after getting sacked five times by the Frankfurt Galaxy's linebacker Frederick Barbarossa.
1215 - Peyton Manning thinks up concept of Magna Carta.
1492 - Peyton Manning sails the ocean blue.
1588 - Peyton Manning defeats the Spanish Armada.
1688 - Peyton Manning takes power in England after the Glorious Revolution. Indianapolis Colts QB William of Orange offers to trade jobs with him. Peyton accepts.
1776 - Peyton Manning leads the Continental Army across the Delaware River in an assault on Trenton, NJ.
1777 - Peyton Manning's child is born to his female slave Sally Hemmings.
1788 - Peyton Manning secretly ghostwrites one of the Federalist Papers. Sadly, he forgot which one.
1813 - Peyton Manning exiled to Elba.
1860 - Peyton Manning signs the Emancipation Proclimation before Ol' Abe does.
1995 - Peyton Manning is forced to freshman practice squad after younger brother Eli Manning punches him in the crotch for stealing the last Fruit-by-the-foot.
1996 - Peyton Manning studies for sociology quiz.
1998 - Peyton Manning goes snorkeling in the Bahamas.
2000 - Peyton Manning numb from another disapointing season, helps express his grim emotions by co-fouding the band Hawthorn Hights.
2001 - Peyton Manning chats with Saudi leader concluding in "Hey, have you ever tried a flight simulator, real-stuff??".
2003 - Peyton Manning plays Bocce with Marvin Harrison.
2006 - Peyton Manning sits on couch with a brewskie, watches repeats of Real World/Road Rules Challenge on MTV and tries to figure out how Beth got to be captain.
2006 - Peyton Manning Is revealed to be Superman
2007 - Peyton Manning Timetravels.
2007 - Peyton Manning comes out as a nazi and eats Polish Sausage with his defeated team.
2008 - Peyton Manning holds Climate Change meeting with The Grinch.
2019 - Peyton Manning, in a confused spasm of rage, accidentally misprints the date of the year while filing his taxes and is whisked away to the year 2019. He is saddened to learn that he will only play in the Super Bowl once in his lifetime. Peyton also surprised to find out he only lives to the age of 42.