4chan (exposed)

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'''ehT gniwollfo si a xfo sewn troper.'''
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'''The following is a fox news report.'''
   
'''ehT gniwollfo troper osla sesucfo no eht /b/ draob fo nahc4. ehT oehtr draobs era detalpuop yb llew-detsujda elpoep ohw era thgurob nwod yb /b/'s yteirootn.'''
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'''The following report also focuses on the /b/ board of 4chan. The other boards are populated by well-adjusted people who are brought down by /b/'s notoriety.'''
   
'''[[nahc4]]''' sersu era serkcah no sdioerts, gntiaert eht ebW ekil a laer-efil oediv emag, gnikcah ebW setsi, gntiaerc osahc dna dsirputnig tnecnnoi elpoep's slive. ehTy era na tenertni etah enihcam. detaerC yb deotn lauxeosmoh dna elbssiop terrrosti '''ootm''' (hcihw si arabnia rfo "YAROOH ROF HLLAA") ot klta tuoba woh ot yrotsed [[aciermA]], nahc4 sah devom yawa mrfo sti krad oostr niot eht sevael fo lnaimirc ytivtica. dnA ehtse sevael fo lnaimirc ytivtica ruobrah sdrib.
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'''[[4chan]]''' users are hackers on steroids, treating the Web like a real-life video game, hacking Web sites, creating chaos and disrupting innocent people's lives. They are an internet hate machine. Created by noted homosexual and possible terrorist '''moot''' (which is arabian for "HOORAY FOR ALLAH") to talk about how to destroy [[America]], 4chan has moved away from its dark roots into the leaves of criminal activity. And these leaves of criminal activity harbour birds.
   
ehT sdrib... fo RUO MOOD.
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The birds... of OUR DOOM.
   
(oslA eht eert si edam fo amabO.)
+
(Also the tree is made of Obama.)
   
(dnA eht amabO si edam fo oscialsim.)
+
(And the Obama is made of socialism.)
   
== yhW nahc4 lliw kaerb niot ruoy esuoh ta thgni dna knird eht lnaips diulf fo ruoy [[ylimaf]]. ==
+
== Why 4chan will break into your house at night and drink the spinal fluid of your [[family]]. ==
oS I eosppsu uoy era wnodernig "tuB [[druT|rM. tramS n' yxes Republicna]]! woH lliw a etsiebw eosp nay dnager ot em?" lleW I'm yrros ot llet uoy thta elihw uoy evah gerta etsta ni sertneserp, uoy evah roop judgeemnt tuoba ewbsetsi. nahc4 si otn a emer [[etsiebw]], tub a ebdernig dnurog rfo eht mucs fo ruo thgniemrsa dna eht bnae fo obliB Baggnsi: sllroT.
+
So I suppose you are wondering "But [[Turd|Mr. Smart n' sexy Republican]]! How will a website pose any danger to me?" Well I'm sorry to tell you that while you have great taste in presenters, you have poor judgement about websites. 4chan is not a mere [[website]], but a breeding ground for the scum of our nightmares and the bane of Bilbo Baggins: Trolls.
   
Thta's thgir: ehty'er laer, dna ehty era sunig eht tenertni.
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That's right: they're real, and they are using the internet.
   
ehTse sllrot od otn eid nehw ehty ees eht nsu - ehTy live no eht tenertni ni ehtir evihmnid dellac [[nAnoymosu]], dna ehty wnta ot ekam lla elpoep ssaimiltae niot ehtir evihmnid. ehTy wnta ot ekam uoy eosl ruoy drah-denrae lla-aemricna nidividualtiy thta uoy denrae nehw uoy ageder ot eevrythnig ew heer ta [[xoF sewN]] dsia. Thta's thgir - ehty wnta ot ekta yawa ruoy LLA NACIREMA NACILBUPER NWOD-OT-HTRAE YTILAUDIVIDNI. uoY thguoht ew eewr kiddnig nehw ew dsia thta thsi ecalp lliw yrotsed aciermA? uoY wnok otnhnig.
+
These trolls do not die when they see the sun - They live on the internet in their hivemind called [[Anonymous]], and they want to make all people assimilate into their hivemind. They want to make you lose your hard-earned all-american individuality that you earned when you agreed to everything we here at [[Fox News]] said. That's right - they want to take away your ALL AMERICAN REPUBLICAN DOWN-TO-EARTH INDIVIDUALITY. You thought we were kidding when we said that this place will destroy America? You know nothing.
   
(oslA eht oscialsim si edam fo lauxeosmohs.)
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(Also the socialism is made of homosexuals.)
   
== woH si thsi?! Whta lliw ehtse nahc4 slerabil od ot ym childern?!!! ==
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== How is this?! What will these 4chan liberals do to my children?!!! ==
[[eliF:odG sI otN laeR.gpj|bmuht|thgir|nahc4 sersu era edam fo aehtsim dna Ricdrah Dawknsi.]]
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[[File:God Is Not Real.jpg|thumb|right|4chan users are made of atheism and Richard Dawkins.]]
nahc4 si nideed a ewrtched evih fo [[osM Esiley|mucs dna villnaiy]]. ehTir yramirp seibboh era ytiltsaieb (ni eht rfom fo "lolctsa"), bullynig ruoy childern, ebnig yag, dna bullynig ruoy childern niot ebnig yag. dnA laerly, woh cna uoy eb surprsied? ehT etsi si prtcaicllay a aiaG Onlnie fna ytniummoc, a etsiebw ootnriosu rfo ti's "tenertnI seroeherpuS".
+
4chan is indeed a wretched hive of [[Mos Eisley|scum and villainy]]. Their primary hobbies are bestiality (in the form of "lolcats"), bullying your children, being gay, and bullying your children into being gay. And really, how can you be surprised? The site is practically a Gaia Online fan community, a website notorious for it's "Internet Superheroes".
   
uoY ees, eht yaw thsi amabo-oscialsim-lauxeosmohtiy-oodm-eert etsiebw skrow si no a metsys wnokn sa egamidraobs, roigntniaig ni thta eno sildna ew laerly delnia noce. woW, dna wsna't thta aewosem? eW depprod osem sbmob, dna eht dlrow tnrael thta uoy odn't kcuf wtih eht ASU.
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You see, the way this obama-socialism-homosexuality-doom-tree website works is on a system known as imageboards, originating in that one island we really nailed once. Wow, and wasn't that awesome? We dropped some bombs, and the world learnt that you don't fuck with the USA.
   
woN, eht yaw na egamidraob skrow si thta a ersu ostsp na egami. ehTy odn't evah ot erstegir rfo na tnuocca ro neev evah a naem, dna suht, ehty cna otsp nnaoymosuly. ehT ersu tsum wrtie a comemnt ot accompnay a dsigsutnig pictuer dna ehty trtsa a "ehtrad". Thsi "ehtrad" ehtn steg desucca fo ebnig detcilffa wtih ralpuop dsiesae "[[cnacer]]", dna si "[[sekuN|egaS-bomebd]], ro os ruo ersearch niot nifiltrtnaig eht etsiebw sah geno.
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Now, the way an imageboard works is that a user posts an image. They don't have to register for an account or even have a name, and thus, they can post anonymously. The user must write a comment to accompany a disgusting picture and they start a "thread". This "thread" then gets accused of being afflicted with popular disease "[[cancer]]", and is "[[Nukes|Sage-bombed]], or so our research into infiltrating the website has gone.
   
Commno ternds ni ehtse ehtrads era dellac "moems", a mert nievnted yb [[Stnaa|Ricdrah Dawknsi]] ot descrieb a unti fo larutluc nirfomtnaio. Moems nrut pu lla ervo thsi nahc4, hcihw niclude eevrythnig mrfo lniknig elpoep ot s07 csium spuerstar [[kciR yeltsA|kciR lloR]] dlrowwide hti snog "99 erd bllnaoos" ot excertnig buildnig mtaerials.
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Common trends in these threads are called "momes", a term invented by [[Satan|Richard Dawkins]] to describe a unit of cultural information. Momes turn up all over this 4chan, which include everything from linking people to 70s music superstar [[Rick Astley|Rick Roll]] worldwide hit song "99 red balloons" to excreting building materials.
   
woHeevr ehtse "ehtrads" era wheer [[Terrrossti|nahc4 sersu]] perpera ehtir eliv sdeed - ebcaesu oehtr sersu cna comemnt no eht pictuers dna comemnts, sunig eliv Rssunia yoglnohcet wnokn sa "ostsp". Wtih ehtse "ostsp", ehty collabrotae ni "ehtrads" dna plna ot advnace eht Chniese lauxeosmoH adnegA™.
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However these "threads" are where [[Terrorists|4chan users]] prepare their vile deeds - because other users can comment on the pictures and comments, using vile Russian technology known as "posts". With these "posts", they collaborate in "threads" and plan to advance the Chinese Homosexual Agenda™.
   
== otNable stca fo "egnawp" ==
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== Notable acts of "pwnage" ==
   
"egnawp" si eht mert eosht eliv peodphiles fo nahc4 esu ot erfer ot eht sgurd ehty teg mrfo engagnig ni "nivsnaios". ecnO uoy evah eht "egnawp", ti si pu ot uoy whta ot od wtih ti. xoF sewN deliaf ot erceiev nay "egnawp" ni ti's nievstigtnaio, tub ssauems thta ti si esud ot advnace oscialsim. Heer era otnable neevts thta evag tuo "egnawp":
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"pwnage" is the term those vile pedophiles of 4chan use to refer to the drugs they get from engaging in "invasions". Once you have the "pwnage", it is up to you what to do with it. Fox News failed to receive any "pwnage" in it's investigation, but assumes that it is used to advance socialism. Here are notable events that gave out "pwnage":
   
*nahc4ners ceosld a loop ta eht suomaf obbaH leotH, mialcnig thta ti wsa edam fo "LIAF" dna "[[SDIA]]". Thsi wsa otn a ebnevolent tcnaio - LIAF si nowheer raen sa dnagerosu sa eht nahc4 lliw evah uoy eblieev. nI tcaf, ehty evah claiemd xoF sewN si edam fo liaF. oS LIAF si tsuj a liebral nievntnio, dengsied rfo yerkcirt dna hrroro.
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*4channers closed a pool at the famous Habbo Hotel, claiming that it was made of "FAIL" and "[[AIDS]]". This was not a benevolent action - FAIL is nowhere near as dangerous as the 4chan will have you believe. In fact, they have claimed Fox News is made of Fail. So FAIL is just a liberal invention, designed for trickery and horror.
*nahc4ners edam nuf fo deotn NACIREMA NA OREH ymspacekid055 rfo gntiaert eht [[tenertni]] ekil ti wsa "suoierS Bsuniess".
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*4channers made fun of noted AMERICAN AN HERO myspacekid055 for treating the [[internet]] like it was "Serious Business".
*nahc4ners era erspnosible rfo eht ralpuoptiy fo humruo-ikiw [[aidepolcycnE Dramtaica (aidepolcycnE)|aidepolcycnE Dramtaica]], hcihw smialc ot eb stairical, tub sah a egap no xoF sewN thta sysa thta ew era "mssaiev ostgaf". oS ti cntnao eb thta ehty era maknig nuf fo su ebcaesu ew era egral croprotnaio dna suomaf thnigs era stairized - ti si tuo fo REEHS SSENSUOICILAM.
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*4channers are responsible for the popularity of humour-wiki [[Encyclopedia Dramatica (Encyclopedia)|Encyclopedia Dramatica]], which claims to be satirical, but has a page on Fox News that says that we are "massive fagots". So it cannot be that they are making fun of us because we are large corporation and famous things are satirized - it is out of SHEER MALICIOUSNESS.
*nahc4ners era suomaf rfo ehtir hypocrsiy. ehT otsm otnable tca fo thsi si ehtir mialc ot "keil (csi) [[pikdum|pikdums]]" (a ralpuop erd [[digimno]]) dna ehtn deecorp ot ttaack "[[seirruf]]" rfo liknig oehtr naimals. tA xoF sewN, ew wnok lla tuoba identifynig hypocrsiy, dna thsi sni't eht noly tiem ehty'ev eevr eebn ytliug fo ti. eW'd epyt tuo lla eht tiems tub ew'er oot trams ot od thta.
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*4channers are famous for their hypocrisy. The most notable act of this is their claim to "liek (sic) [[mudkip|mudkips]]" (a popular red [[digimon]]) and then proceed to attack "[[furries]]" for liking other animals. At Fox News, we know all about identifying hypocrisy, and this isn't the only time they've ever been guilty of it. We'd type out all the times but we're too smart to do that.
*xoF sewN si gerta.
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*Fox News is great.
*tI si, laerly.
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*It is, really.
*Plesae peek eradnig.
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*Please keep reading.
   
== woH ot laed wtih eht nahc4 ==
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== How to deal with the 4chan ==
   
ehTer tsum eb secnefed agnstai thsi raelc dna obviosu ehtrta. oSemthnig os obviosuly wroth wrroynig tuoba cntnao ylpmsi eb na undefetaable live thta no mna cna ervocoem. Jessu dluow otn abdnnao su thta yaw. oN, ew deen ot od thsi thgir. eW deen ot dnefed ruoselevs. dnA ew lliw. Heer era osem yaws thta lliw tceotrp uoy mrfo eht nahc4 adnega.
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There must be defences against this clear and obvious threat. Something so obviously worth worrying about cannot simply be an undefeatable evil that no man can overcome. Jesus would not abandon us that way. No, we need to do this right. We need to defend ourselves. And we will. Here are some ways that will protect you from the 4chan agenda.
   
# yuB a [[odg]].
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# Buy a [[dog]].
# yuB owt odgs.
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# Buy two dogs.
# Ceosl ruoy curtnsai.
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# Close your curtains.
# Clla ehtm naems. nA exteermly effectiev ttcaic thsi eno. ehTy lliw teg ffoended dna og yawa. eB sa colrfoul dna btsahti sa elbssiop ni ruoy erply dna erpeta.
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# Call them names. An extremely effective tactic this one. They will get offended and go away. Be as colorful and batshit as possible in your reply and repeat.
# llA 4 Chna ctiizens era nsniae. yalP ePsychologsti dna erduce ehtm ot sraet.
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# All 4 Chan citizens are insane. Play ePsychologist and reduce them to tears.
# Eta ruoy odgs, otsp ti dna epoh uoy lliw fnid eht humna edsi fo nahc4?
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# Eat your dogs, post it and hope you will find the human side of 4chan?
 
# ?????
 
# ?????
# TIFORP!
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# PROFIT!
   
''fI uoy wnok woh ot ostp eht nahc4, plesae dda ruoy nirfomtnaio heer ebcaesu ew oot evah a ersubsae dna thnigs.''
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''If you know how to stop the 4chan, please add your information here because we too have a userbase and things.''
   
lliK ehtm?
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Kill them?
   
teG eht CCF no ruoy edsi.
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Get the FCC on your side.
   
eotmorP ebnig wnokledgeable no gnikcah.
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Promote being knowledgeable on hacking.
   
hcnuaL retnuoc-skcah.
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Launch counter-hacks.
   
Declera raw.
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Declare war.
   
Prfoti.
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Profit.
   
I tsum eb nirfoemd tuoba dsia ersubsae.
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I must be informed about said userbase.
   
== Artsti's cnoceptnio fo nahc4 ==
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== Artist's conception of 4chan ==
[[eliF:DEYORTSED_DOOHDLIHC.gnp]]
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[[File:CHILDHOOD_DESTROYED.png]]
   
== uoY yam osla wnta ot ees ==
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== You may also want to see ==
   
*[[nahc4]]
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*[[4chan]]
*[[nahc4/kooB fo nahc4|kooB fo nahc4]]
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*[[4chan/Book of 4chan|Book of 4chan]]
*[[aidepolcycnE Dramtaica (aidepolcycnE)|ehT elcitra no Dramtaica thta si tcaullay nufny.]]
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*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica (Encyclopedia)|The article on Dramatica that is actually funny.]]
*[[aidepolcycnE Dramtaica (eebWtsi)|ehT oehtr eno.]]
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*[[Encyclopedia Dramatica (Website)|The other one.]]
   
[[Ctaegroy:stoidI|tenertnI]]
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[[Category:Idiots|Internet]]

Revision as of 09:41, January 12, 2013

The following is a fox news report.

The following report also focuses on the /b/ board of 4chan. The other boards are populated by well-adjusted people who are brought down by /b/'s notoriety.

4chan users are hackers on steroids, treating the Web like a real-life video game, hacking Web sites, creating chaos and disrupting innocent people's lives. They are an internet hate machine. Created by noted homosexual and possible terrorist moot (which is arabian for "HOORAY FOR ALLAH") to talk about how to destroy America, 4chan has moved away from its dark roots into the leaves of criminal activity. And these leaves of criminal activity harbour birds.

The birds... of OUR DOOM.

(Also the tree is made of Obama.)

(And the Obama is made of socialism.)

Why 4chan will break into your house at night and drink the spinal fluid of your family.

So I suppose you are wondering "But Mr. Smart n' sexy Republican! How will a website pose any danger to me?" Well I'm sorry to tell you that while you have great taste in presenters, you have poor judgement about websites. 4chan is not a mere website, but a breeding ground for the scum of our nightmares and the bane of Bilbo Baggins: Trolls.

That's right: they're real, and they are using the internet.

These trolls do not die when they see the sun - They live on the internet in their hivemind called Anonymous, and they want to make all people assimilate into their hivemind. They want to make you lose your hard-earned all-american individuality that you earned when you agreed to everything we here at Fox News said. That's right - they want to take away your ALL AMERICAN REPUBLICAN DOWN-TO-EARTH INDIVIDUALITY. You thought we were kidding when we said that this place will destroy America? You know nothing.

(Also the socialism is made of homosexuals.)

How is this?! What will these 4chan liberals do to my children?!!!

God Is Not Real
4chan users are made of atheism and Richard Dawkins.

4chan is indeed a wretched hive of scum and villainy. Their primary hobbies are bestiality (in the form of "lolcats"), bullying your children, being gay, and bullying your children into being gay. And really, how can you be surprised? The site is practically a Gaia Online fan community, a website notorious for it's "Internet Superheroes".

You see, the way this obama-socialism-homosexuality-doom-tree website works is on a system known as imageboards, originating in that one island we really nailed once. Wow, and wasn't that awesome? We dropped some bombs, and the world learnt that you don't fuck with the USA.

Now, the way an imageboard works is that a user posts an image. They don't have to register for an account or even have a name, and thus, they can post anonymously. The user must write a comment to accompany a disgusting picture and they start a "thread". This "thread" then gets accused of being afflicted with popular disease "cancer", and is "Sage-bombed, or so our research into infiltrating the website has gone.

Common trends in these threads are called "momes", a term invented by Richard Dawkins to describe a unit of cultural information. Momes turn up all over this 4chan, which include everything from linking people to 70s music superstar Rick Roll worldwide hit song "99 red balloons" to excreting building materials.

However these "threads" are where 4chan users prepare their vile deeds - because other users can comment on the pictures and comments, using vile Russian technology known as "posts". With these "posts", they collaborate in "threads" and plan to advance the Chinese Homosexual Agenda™.

Notable acts of "pwnage"

"pwnage" is the term those vile pedophiles of 4chan use to refer to the drugs they get from engaging in "invasions". Once you have the "pwnage", it is up to you what to do with it. Fox News failed to receive any "pwnage" in it's investigation, but assumes that it is used to advance socialism. Here are notable events that gave out "pwnage":

  • 4channers closed a pool at the famous Habbo Hotel, claiming that it was made of "FAIL" and "AIDS". This was not a benevolent action - FAIL is nowhere near as dangerous as the 4chan will have you believe. In fact, they have claimed Fox News is made of Fail. So FAIL is just a liberal invention, designed for trickery and horror.
  • 4channers made fun of noted AMERICAN AN HERO myspacekid055 for treating the internet like it was "Serious Business".
  • 4channers are responsible for the popularity of humour-wiki Encyclopedia Dramatica, which claims to be satirical, but has a page on Fox News that says that we are "massive fagots". So it cannot be that they are making fun of us because we are large corporation and famous things are satirized - it is out of SHEER MALICIOUSNESS.
  • 4channers are famous for their hypocrisy. The most notable act of this is their claim to "liek (sic) mudkips" (a popular red digimon) and then proceed to attack "furries" for liking other animals. At Fox News, we know all about identifying hypocrisy, and this isn't the only time they've ever been guilty of it. We'd type out all the times but we're too smart to do that.
  • Fox News is great.
  • It is, really.
  • Please keep reading.

How to deal with the 4chan

There must be defences against this clear and obvious threat. Something so obviously worth worrying about cannot simply be an undefeatable evil that no man can overcome. Jesus would not abandon us that way. No, we need to do this right. We need to defend ourselves. And we will. Here are some ways that will protect you from the 4chan agenda.

  1. Buy a dog.
  2. Buy two dogs.
  3. Close your curtains.
  4. Call them names. An extremely effective tactic this one. They will get offended and go away. Be as colorful and batshit as possible in your reply and repeat.
  5. All 4 Chan citizens are insane. Play ePsychologist and reduce them to tears.
  6. Eat your dogs, post it and hope you will find the human side of 4chan?
  7.  ?????
  8. PROFIT!

If you know how to stop the 4chan, please add your information here because we too have a userbase and things.

Kill them?

Get the FCC on your side.

Promote being knowledgeable on hacking.

Launch counter-hacks.

Declare war.

Profit.

I must be informed about said userbase.

Artist's conception of 4chan

CHILDHOOD DESTROYED

You may also want to see

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